RajniKanth and his miracles

Got this in email. And one of the few good ones.

Rajanikanth makes onions cry

Rajanikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.

Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.

Rajanikanth can build a snowman….. out of rain.

Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Rajanikanth can drown a fish.

When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.

Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Rajanikanth can throw Brett Favre even further.

The last digit of pi is Rajanikanth. He is the end of all things.

Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

Bullets dodge Rajanikanth.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Rajanikanth’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.

If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajanikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”

Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.

Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.

There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Rajanikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.

It takes Rajanikanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Rajanikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajanikanth.

Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajanikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.

Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.

With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajanikanth, the result is death.

When you say “no one’s perfect”, Rajanikanth takes this as a personal insult.

I neeed

I neeed a visa to all countries in the world. I want to travel. Travel far and apart. Travel rich and poor. Talk to people. Get talked to.

I neeed a FAST Internet connection. Something where I dont have to wait for 5 Youtube vids to stream.

I neeed a super bike. Ok, even an Enfield would do.

I neeed a big DSLR and a few lenses.

From Narazgi to Safola

I have this very good friend who is in US. And since we are separated by geography, only means to communicate is emails, IMs and phone calls once in while. For last few days, she has been really busy and I have been my buggy best. And this lack of conversations made me think that she was angry or something with me. Actually, come to think of it, she WAS angry. There is this conversation I had with her where she sounded angry.

Anyways this is not the point. So I have this huge list of 1000 people on gatlk. Right in the morning I think that she is angry (shes on my mind all the time 😀 .. are you reading?) and I update my IM status message as “Naarazgi”. About 5 people ask me who is angry and similar questions.

And all of a sudden she sends an IM saying that she is not. How on the Earth does she know that I am talking about her? Anyways, so I ask her how do you know and she says “Safola”. And obviously I was smiling. Actually laughing out loud. She knew is somehow and she could express her thoughts in an awesome manner. These small things make life worth living for. May sound like a small thing for a lot of people but for me, it means a lot.

Thats as good as things can get. For the ones who aren’t blessed with memories of brands and taglines, Safola used a tagline “Tere Dil Ki Baat Main Jaanu”. She knew that I was talking about her.

How in the world .. ?

P.S.: There was another incident on this same conversation that reaffirmed that Safola DOES exist between her and me. Refer to IM transcript on your gmail account dated 9 May 2008, 10:52 AM.

You know its Delhi when …

After living in Delhi for 24 years, I moved to Mumbai last year. On a recent trip home (Delhi), I realized that there is so much there makes that place very special. Here is a list of 19 things that I could think of immediately.

You know you are in Delhi

  1. When you have honed your negotiation skills over the years by never ending haggling with the autowallahs and rickshawallahs over amount as minuscule as 1 rupee.
  2. When you know more about your neighbors rather than your own family. And you see that your neighbors remember your aunt’s son-in-law’s birthday.
  3. When bus passes and Metro cards become a currency.
  4. When community buying becomes the norm and vegetable seller takes the place of the chaupal where ladies gathers to share gossip.
  5. When U special buses are followed by bikes. And cars.
  6. When any one wearing a skirt is stared at by everyone. Even the person wearing the skirt starts staring himself/herself.
  7. When autowallahs simply refuse to go by meter. And they dare you to do anything about it.
  8. When people drive as if the road is their personal property and they can do anything they want to on those roads. And they mean it.
  9. When you have to bribe for any small government work. And to even pee.
  10. When everyone knows someone big and throws attitude because they know someone.
  11. When you spot a chole kulche bicycle in every nook and corner of the city.
  12. When hanging from DTCs buses becomes a norm and your day feels incomplete without it.
  13. When you use a student bus pass even after you have graduated from college 5 years ago. And you are ready to go any lengths to get it renewed.
  14. When you boast of awesome infrastructure the city has all the while screaming profanities at Sheila Dikshit and Congress govt.
  15. When spotting a celebrity adds to your coolness factor. And you weave stories around it and repeat them at every speaking opportunity.
  16. When you buy and sell books at Nai Sarak and hope to spot girls doing the same thing, strike a conversation and leave as a couple.
  17. When giving seats to old women and kids in Delhi Metro becomes a fashion statement. And then curtly asking them to hold your bags, suitcases etc.
  18. When sealing and policing takes a new meaning altogether. Shops are sealed, de-sealed and sealed again.
  19. When there is some sort of strike, procession, movement is being staged at Jantar Mantar and you start assuming that it was build to host these rather than tell time.

Obviously the list is incomplete and I shall keep on adding to it. Please drop in comments and help me make it longer.

P.S.: I love Delhi and there is no city like Delhi. The tone might sound derogatory but trust me its not meant to be like that.