Don’t try this at home!

There are a few things that I take REALLY serious. Really as in Caps-Locked real. Things that I can’t compromise on; ever. Things that shouldn’t change irrespective of what market research suggests, consumers demand or the world craves for. You must not touch them or change them. Things that are not just things but are lifestyle, a way of life. Like Master Shifu, like Miyagi San, like Micky (Goldmill). Like a drive down a coastal road, like going all-in pre-flop, like a bungee jump. Like writing, like talking, like music.

Get the drift?

So, one such thing is a outing at the McDonald’s in India. It’s something that has to be as sacrosanct as hole-in-one, Sachin’s straight drive and Lucky Ali’s music. Something that must not change ever. Something that should be around even 50 years from now. Something that you can count on. Something that you could pass on to your kids. Something that you could reminisce about on a balmy winter afternoon on a hill station.

Food at McDonald’s is as comfort as a food could be. Where else would you find the perfect mix of dough and potato, deep-fried till it’s golden brown, so crisp that you can hear the crunch a million miles away, available at throwaway prices, at outlets that are more often than not a stone’s throw away from where you are?

I have downed innumerable sorrows along with those crispy fries. I have slithered away my darkest and deepest blues with those McAloo burgers. I have told myself that Protein is good for me and ate Egg Wraps three at a time. And the days when I had coke, Diet coke and other variants, I think I would have contributed more than a million liters to the bottom-line. No kidding.

It’s so sacrosanct that the day they change the menu and remove McAloo Tikki Burger or the Pizza McPuff from their menu, I will personally burn down every outlet. And at the speed at which they are mushrooming, I know it would be a Herculean task but I am up for it.

In the meanwhile, talking of all this has made me crave for more McDonald’s. Lemme go find some.

Oh, if someone from McDonald’s is reading this, please know that your service standards in Bangalore suck. You may want to replace your training and QC staff. If I were you, I would.

P.S.: In case you did not notice, I maintained complete radio internet silence for almost a week. And it was therapeutic. There was no deluge of tweets, Facebook notifications, emails, updates from I don’t know how many websites to overwhelm me with. And you know what? I thought I would miss my digital addiction. I did for a couple of days. But after that it was ok. I am back online and I don’t have any more craving for digital connectivity. I like this new life where I spend time in the moment.


Do try it (at home).