So I finally started work. 5 days after I came here (out of the 15 days I had for myself). But then, better late than never. I think checking into a hotel has helped matters. There is this definiteness about a hotel that you don’t get at a home – things are managed automatically (food, cleaning, laundry, maintenance etc) and they are generally impersonal. So all there is, is you and the work.
And you know what? I value these material things. I am not the ones to subscribe that doing dishes or buying grocery brings you closer. I think any shared experience can do that. I’d rather outsource these chores. When I work, I dont want to fret with the small stuff.
The day was pretty ok. I walked a lot, I said no a couple of times (even though I feel obligated to say yes), I ate healthy (except the dinner), I met a couple of people from MDI, picked their brains on what could be done with C4E, took out time to think and then checked into a hotel. And you know what, got access to a decent bed.
So, a few lessons am taking away from this day, and the experience are:
a. I like comfort. This is not new. Just that its getting reinforced with each experience. The takeaway is that I must seek comfort. Even if I have to pay for it, I must.
b. Saying no is not easy. It makes me sad. Social proof and need to belong and all that. Again, I’ve known this and its getting reinforced. The good part is that the benefits outweigh the agony (of disappointing people).
The other sad thing about this is that there is evident disappointment when you say no. And I think that with each disappointment, you push people away. At least I am pushing them far from me. I have seen that I’ve actually pushed people away so much that they dont even care about me anymore. Which, I think is ok. After all I am on a mission and everything and everyone that stops me from taking the shot at it can leave. The ones who really care will stay. They will be around. The ones who get offended, all the best!
c. I met VS and we had this longish chat about things. I asked him about what I should be doing in life. I laid out options as I see in front of me, so that I may reach my #lifeGoal (lists here and here)! To my mind, my approach was very simple. I looked at where I am. I looked at all the options in front of me. I listed the alternatives. I then put in place odds of success (and failure) for each. And, finally I wanted someone to listen to things and give me an opinion.
And instead of opinions, he had an interesting take. He said identify the right question to ask. The question I’d rather be asking is, what do I want to do in life. Well, its a tough one. I know what I want to do in life. I want to entertain and inspire. And how do I want to do this? I dont know. Whats the tangible? I dont know. If I knew, I’d be doing it already!
The next thing that he asked me to think on was, who do I want to be? The answer was simple. While I’ve wanted to be a Steve Jobs, a Bill Gates and an Elon Musk lately or a Jeff Bezoes, I am beginning to realise that I am not the kinds to be able to create things myself. I am willing to put skin in the game (read this thread) but I am not sure I am the kinds to run one thing meticulously. I am more of a big picture and vision guy. I am the kinds that likes to acquires a lot of ideas, know about things (and not know things), interact a lot and then let connections happen. Basically you are a socialite. I am not the kinds to go deep. But I am for sure a connector. And I am happy connecting people. And I love to give gyaan that is rooted deep into my experience and understanding of the world. Someone like Paul Graham or may be Ron!
Fuck! epiphany. I make connections and often leave at that. I need to be able to somehow make money from this! Of course without bastardizing the entire thing.
Now that I know what I want to be, he said, whats stopping you from becoming that? He said, what stops you from moving to SFO where all the action is and chase the pie? The rationalising mind kicked in and I thought of answers like family, friends etc. And while I was at, being the bastard VS is (in a good way), he asked me to book the ticket on the spot!
To further his perspective, before I could ponder on more rational things and get worried about money, he said money follows if you are on the right track. He gave me examples from his life and his work. It sounded inspiring – exactly how I want to be!
d. Water. I love water. So much that I can drink it all the time. And here in Dubai, the concept of tap water is absent. There is bottled water and its expensive as fuck. So I am not drinking as much water as I would want to drink.
And because I am not drinking enough water, I think I am not being able to think well. I will tweak this tomorrow and figure out. Lets see.
***
So yeah, thats about it for the day. Over to tomorrow.
Saurabh Garg
April 17, 2018
Dubai