Once you ignore the title of the post and dig deeper, you’d probably see what I am seeing.
Somehow and for some reason, I have grown up into someone that takes myself way too seriously. This means I am humorless, often found gazing into the future, and have my head clouded with a million thoughts – most of those around how to become what I’ve always aspired to become – rich, affluent, impactful, giving, contributing, learning, fit, lean, emotionless, machine-like forever living thing.
And all these adjectives / verbs play just one role — they add a qualifier to the idea of identity that I have for myself.
That identity is probably as meaningless as the concept of immortality. I am sure we would find answers (about the grand plan of life and all that) in due course; but as of today we do know that all this that started with a Big Bang will end in a few gazillion years (how exactly would the end come is still being speculated).
And all the adjectives that you use to define you and the very concept of you will cease to exist.
And thus, this image that you have installed in your head about yourself (wait, am talking to myself – so this image that I have installed in my head of myself) is meaningless. Insignificant. I think I need to see Pale Blue Dot more often.
The insignificance gets even more, well, pronounced when you realize that all that you’ve been building towards does not add up to that grand picture that you had in your head about things and people and life and all that. All those sacrifices that you made hoping for a better tomorrow, all the gratification that you delayed for deeper meaning, all the struggle you were engaged in chasing happiness at a later date, all of it, is insignificant. And if you’ve known me, all my life has been a run-up to this grand picture where I am happy, successful (whatever that means), and have contributed to the well-being and happiness of a billion people (in whatever way). And it’s a sobering thought that this grand picture is a mere mirage – something that you think is around but it is a mere reflection of something that’s not even there in the first place!
Even these words that, sort of, give you immortality will cease to exist.
The momentary masterness that we are chasing, the fleeting validation that we chase, the semblance of control that we wish to exercise over life, well, insignificant. Like the I.
So, what is the point of going on, you may ask? Well, I don’t have any specific answers per se. But I do know that if by your actions, your thoughts, your work if you can give someone else some comfort, some break, some hope, some validation, some inspiration, it is worth it.
No?