in2020, I will…

Recap of 2019
So, 2019. Not the best year of my life. Funnily, neither was 2018. 
In Jan of 2019, I wrote this post and made a list of things that I’d do in the year. For ease of reading, here is how it looked like…

I thought hard about each goal before I articulated it. Each goal had a specific reason for inclusion in the list – if I achieved the goal, I would change who I am as a person.

But I missed all of these.
By a large margin. To a point that when I was doing the review, I realized that I aimed way too high. As they say, I shot out of my league. 

Which is a good thing. 

And a bad thing. 

Good – aim for the moon and land among the stars. 

Bad – get depressed about the non-achievement.
I’ll come back to this.  

On the tangibles, the biggest #win would be that I survived a tough year. I don’t know if it was evident from my lifestream (on the blog, twitter, etc) but it was tough as hell! Multiple reasons – clients did not spend as much with me, some projects failed to take off (Jamoon, Hop197, saurabhgarg.com, Titan Consulting), as an individual I could not deliver on few projects where I was the DRI and so on and so forth. And yet, I survived. 

On the upside, I did make a film (and met some of the icons of the performing world), met some really really kind people that now take an active interest in my career (and keep me sane), opened doors to opportunities (that hopefully would get monetized eventually) and (like I said), survived. Oh, and I learned that when the times are tough you are often left to fend for yourself. Everyone is struggling with so much in their lives that they simply do not have the time to think about you!

The biggest #fail would be that I could not grow C4E. It’s stagnating. I could’ve grown the business but I clearly could not. The growth of this one is important because the core business (events and brand) is what gives fuel to all the exciting projects that I am a part of (and allows me to fund those experiments). I need to accelerate that #in2020. Staying on that, the thing that keeps me up is that C4E and all the allied things I do are merely taking things from 1 to 1.3 or something. I am not doing anything in the 0 to 1 space. Or even 1 to 100. I am not adding any tangible, real value to the world. I am not making any dents. All I am doing is doing a different take on what others have done before me. If I were to disappear tomorrow, not one person would miss what I do. Imagine if Apple were to disappear, would you miss what they do? That! I want to do what people at Apple, Google, Facebook, Amazon, and other such places are doing. They create new things. They create a 1 from 0. They make that ding in the universe. 

Moving on. 

Thanks to YearCompass, I did a structured recap of the year gone by. Which was good. I now know where I was fucking up. I did not have a process to achieve the large goals that I was chasing. I do know about systems vs goals thinking but I never implemented a system. 2020 on, I would. You’d see it… 

So, in terms of themes, if I were to list a set of reasons for my inability to reach those goals, I would say they would be…

• I plan for things out of my league but I do not put in place the processes to deliver those.
• I overestimate my ability to do things.
• I overestimate my ability to get things done.
• Once I solve the problems in my head, I do not want to actually do the hard work of solving those IRL. Thanks AS for helping me articulate this.
• I am a great starter. And I like to finish things as well (my finish rate would be mid 20% – which is low and I want to work hard to finish 100% of things that I start). What I suck at is the messy middle. Again, thanks to AS for helping me identify this. 
• I am more of a ‘react to situations’ person. Rather than being proactive.
• I am easy on myself. If I miss a goal, I do not reprimand myself. I do not seek accountability from myself. And if I work with (or for) someone, I do not want to disappoint them and feel accountable for their money / time / inputs. And thus I work harder. Maybe I am not fit for being an entrepreneur?

The YearCompass that I used to do a recap? It also gave me a framework to think about 2020. Along with that, I used the TinyChange Planner. And between the two documents, I think I have a pretty decent hang of how I want to spend my 2020.

Before I come to specific goals, here are the large themes per se… 

• I need to put systems in place for each goal. 
• Like I said, I am more of ‘react to things and situations’ person. Need to fix this. I need to get over my inability to make things happen. 
• Get more social. And become a magnet. While I do that, I need to become a super-connector (which is a large #sglifetheme) and become reliable (you know, the guy that gets things done, just like The Transporter). This means that I need to become that guy that knows a guy that can get things done. For sure. And while that happens, I need to become that guy that you like! 
• I need to ACT on getting healthy. May be, start eating meat (this is a touchy topic and more I read about this, more I am indecisive). Start with a workout for sure. 

That, ladies and gents is my mantra for 2020. Act.

Every time I am bored or uninspired or not motivated or lethargic or in the mood procrastinate, I would look at this and move to the task at hand. And act.

Armed with all these, coming to specifics, like the previous years, I will chase goals under certain categories – wealth, health, relationships, writing, and others. Of course, I do have a long list (and its almost similar to what I had in 2019), this year around thanks to Tiny Change, I will focus on three goals and three goals only (other things will become side projects). Caveat. The very core of these documents is the tenet that you would focus on a few things. Now, this is unlike me! You know, I am not just a petty thief?