SG – Page 5

Film Review – The Next Three Days

So, the last night, I saw this film on Netflix. Called The Next Three Days, the film is a remake of a French film Anything For Her. No, I have not seen the original.

The film is a story of John, a community college professor whose wife, Lara is accused of a murder that she did not commit and is jailed for the rest of her life. The professor tries all legal, moral, ethical, by-the-law routes. And fails. The wife tries to commit suicide, something tips in the professor and plots an escape path for her. And while he does that, he ends up becoming what he never was – a criminal. Oh, and there is a young son, Luke that adds to the drama.

Without a doubt, The Next Three Days is among the best action-thriller-suspense films I’ve seen. There is not one thing that I would add or remove from the film. Even though the film is more than 2 hours long, I was hooked. One time I had to get up to pee and I did not want to. The writer and the director have done that great a job.

To plot the escape, the professor starts with research. He talks to a person that has escaped from jailed seven times, charts the escape route meticulously, sells whatever he can to raise the money, gets mugged while trying to acquire fake identities, to get his wife of the jail, he plans the escape plan meticulously, gets mugged, sells his belongings, gets a gun, gets embroiled with drug dealers and does things you and I would probably not.

The writing is tight. Not one character is out of place. Even though I have seen my share of crime and suspense films, there are so many times when you go, “oh faaaak” during the film. They had to actually dumb down things for the audience at multiple points in the narrative. I would not lie but I can recall a couple of places where if they did not tell us about the suspense, I would’ve missed it!

Apart from John and Lara, even the smallest character has been written well.

For example, there is this drug runner in the film that appears on the screen for like 30 seconds. Even though he is a bad guy and has three lines in the narrative, in those three lines you realize that he is not a bad guy and doing it merely because he grew up in a wrong neighborhood.

Then there is John’s brother’s wife. She’s apparently a pain in the backside in the first scene of the film. And when she reappears after an hour or so, she is still the same. And all she does is complain about coffee.

Liam Neeson comes for a brief bit and as expected does a Neesony job.

John’s parents play a parenty role – caring, reliable and all. As John is planning the escape, there is this nod, handshake and a hug between him and his father that tells that the two men haven’t had the most cordial relationship and they’ve buried the hatchet.

There are multiple cops in the film – the one that was investigating the murder charge on wife, the one that’s leading the investigation into the drug chase. Each is gritty, meticulous and working towards closure. They are great adversaries in the cat and mouse they play with John!

The characters have been made to work hard to get what they want. There are roadblocks and lucky breaks. As with life, hundred roadblocks and just a handful of lucky breaks. The cops have had to navigate politics, inefficiency, laziness, and ingenuity of John. John is like you and me – uses YouTube to learn how to break locks, get into cars, fake reports, etc. He practices, takes small risks at first, works harder, stumbles again and then gets lucky! You know, like a typical never-say-die dude? No wonder you feel for him and you root for him!

The lead characters – John and Lara – they are such a perfect couple that it is impossible (I guess this is the only problem I have with the film – couples can be that perfect!). They’ve been married for ages, have a kid and yet they are attracted to each other physically. When the wife is jailed, the husband visits her at every opportunity that he gets – he is the only one that believes in her innocence. When they know that she is not getting out, each other tries to console the other. The wife lies to nudge the husband to move on. The husband continues to paddle hope to his wife. Even when another woman makes a pass at John, he politely refuses the advances. When John finally manages to get the wife out of the reach of the cops, Lara being a moral, righteous citizen initially wants to conform to the cops and refuses to leave. She moves when John tries to tell her that they are at a point of no return and their son will be left alone if they do not run.

No, such couples do not exist. They are unreal.

As a family, with the kid, they are, again, unreal. They have so many of these familiar traditions – souvenirs, nicknames, photos, and whatnot. And they’ve shown those without exaggerating. Or without hyperbole. While watching the film, I was jealous that my family had none of those!

As an audience, there are so many points in the film where you find yourself rooting for the family. You laugh with them, cry with them and you share their despair. You get your hope up and then all of it comes crashing down. The film is as roller-coastery a ride as you’d imagine.

The action is fast – keeps you on the edge all the time. At each point, I was guessing what would he do next thing that’d happen. And more often than not, I was wrong. They have planted so many Red Herrings, so fast, that you would miss the subtlety if you are not paying attention to the film. And no, you can not, NOT pay attention. It is that good!

The background music could have been better. There is not one riff that I recall, a night after I saw the film. I do remember a scene where the car does a cartwheel – the background sound design at that moment does add to the drama. But apart from that, I cant seem to remember the music.

The film is a MUST WATCH.

Oh and the film raises some questions that no one film has made me think about. How far are you willing to go for your family? Where do you draw the line on conforming to society and authorities? What if the society is wrong and you know you are right, would you fight them off? And to what end? If everyone stood for their beliefs and started to use guns, will we not descend into anarchy? And how you do leave behind all that you have stood for and become a criminal? And where do you escape?

In one line, how do you become an anti-hero? Well, he wasn’t an anti-hero at all – he never felt like a bad man. Ever. I mean, I’ve seen my share of “family-first” films and dramas. From Prison Break to Godfather to Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gam to more. While each of these is a masterpiece of cinema, they did not make me question myself about the extent to which I’d go for my family.

Those stories are distant. They looked like the ones that would happen to someone else. Not to me. The Next Three Days could have easily been my story. One of my family members could get framed for a crime that he did not commit and even when evidence is stacked tall against him, will I continue to be on this side? Will I sell whatever I have? Will I leave my life behind? Would I pick a gun?

I am not sure.

You?

RIP Kobe. Thank You, Kobe!

So last night, I was in the zone where I was sad and angry and depressed. About things and life in general. To a point where I was questioning the meaning of life and all that. I was whiling away time on Twitter and Instagram and other things that you use to kill time when you are sad. No, I do not enjoy human company when I am in a mood like that.

And while on twitter, I saw this tweet.

Now, I don’t know Kobe. But I knew of Kobe. I do not follow Basketball per se but I do know of his name. And Magic Johnson, Pippen, Iverson, Malone, Shaq, and lately, Lebron James. I know of these guys as athletes that have worked hard. For years. Relentlessly. With an ethic that is impossible to match!

And because these guys are in America, they are so much under scrutiny that they can NOT fuck up even once. I have always had mad respect for such people. I mean despite all the success that you get, how do you maintain a sane head? I’ve seen film stars and cricketers here in India and their head is so up their backsides that they can’t see anything but themselves!

And because these guys are from communities that typically do not get as many opportunities as others, even more respect for these guys. I mean they did not crib about the disadvantage that they were faced with. They did not falter along the way. They did not digress. They kept their aim and continued to work on it. Year after year. For so long. Even when they missed the mark, they would’ve got sad but would have come back to the grind. And then worked their way up!

So, when I read last night that he’s died in a crash, along with his daughter (who was all of 13), I was sad. Not heartbroken per se. Not devastated. But plain old sad. I started to read about who he was and where he came from (it’s funny that you read about a person when they die; and not when they are around).

And while I was reading and as the news was spreading, the tributes and comments started pouring in. From people that I respect and follow (investors, businessmen, celebrities, marketers, etc.). And it started to sink in what a big deal the guy was! His life was a life that gave hope to so many like him. He gave joy to his fans. His friends had the most heartbreaking reactions – can tell what a guy he must have been!

To make matters worse, he went with his daughter (and another father-daughter duo). More than Kobe, my heart goes out for the two young girls that were probably going to be playing at larger levels. It is plain unfair. Life, is unfair. And, may I say, a bitch!

And is fucking funny. You know how? I’ll tell you how.

A few days ago, Clayton Christensen passed away. The guy was a big inspiration to all the great movers and shakers of our times (Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Jeff Bezos, etc). Again, I did not know much about him, except reading the iconic book that he wrote. And this speech (also read this if you are keen). And of course, his influence was limited to the business community (though the impact those business people have made is immeasurable), the eulogies were muted, professional succinct, devoid of emotion.

Kobe’s are another world. He belonged to, like I say, the masses!

Can I even compare the two people? How do you measure one person’s life against another? What about all those thousands that die every day? Some 50 people have died infected with coronavirus died cos of no fault of theirs. I don’t even know how many people have died in India protesting against CAA / NRC. What about all those innocent people that were in that Ukrainian plane that Iran shot down?

It’s unfair. It’s pointless. And it’s meaningless. And, it’s fucking funny.

Want to know another funny story?

Well, on Saturday I wrote this long tome about the shortness of life. In it, I talked about how our lives are short. While I wrote it, I did not mean that we’d die abruptly at the age of 41 or 13 or whatever. I meant that in general, the 70-80 years that we get to live here are not enough to explore it all. There’s so much to do. But when shit like this happens, you lose faith. I mean look at his daughter. She was training to be an athlete. And probably putting in so much hard work and effort and all that. To what end? She did not even get a shot at it! If there is indeed God above, may I ask him / her / it, what was Gianna’s reason of existence?

And here’s another funny thing.

For some reason, thanks to Kobe’s accident and the emotional outbursts, I am more determined than ever to make my life count. I called up my parents (they live in a different city). I spoke nicely to my friends (that I haven’t spoken to in a while). I knocked off so many things from my to-do list that its, well, not funny.

I am more determined to not succumb to the vagaries of life. It’s been tough last few ~~days~~ months. I am at the end of the rope with a lot of things. But I plan to hang onto it. And make it work. Kobe made it despite where he came from. I am far more privileged. I can at least try.

I am more determined to do more. And get more people to do more. Thing is, this difference between Clay and Kobe, while unfortunate, is such a telling one. An artist, an athlete, a performer, a speaker, someone that belongs to the masses, inspires the world far more with their action (and inaction) than a businessman.

I am more determined to not while time on things that are not important to me. For, I don’t know what is my expiry date. For, time is all we have.

I am more determined to become more human. Which means I am going to ensure that I am a lot more present for people that get joy when I am around them. Of course, I can count the number of such people on just half the fingers of my left hand (may be not even that).

That’s about it I guess.

Kobe, you left too soon. Thank you for your life. Thank you for inspiring me. And others. You are in a better place.

PS: You know what would be the funniest? That I die tomorrow without doing a single thing that I’ve planned to do with my life!

The Sleepy Syndrome

Yesterday I had to stay up to finish a thing I was working on. And it was tough. No, not the thing that I was working on. But staying up.

So tough that I roamed around like a zombie in the house.

I have this friend who’s shacking up with me for a few days. And since this is a Mumbai house, he’s using the hall as his bedroom. The guy told me that I sort of scared him with all the feet that I was dragging along the entire night.

I just could not stay up. Despite my earnest efforts.

And it sucks. Suck so bad that I am blogging about it.

Thing is I have always taken pride in my ability to get by with little sleep or food or other such worldly comforts. I do need a lot of safai, water, and access to a clean loo. But lately, since I’ve got on the sleep-more bandwagon and have become that boring old man that sleeps at 10 and wakes up at 5, I am used to spending 7-8 hours on the bed. What I do there is anyone’s guess but I do try and be on the bed for that long.

Now, yesterday, when I had this important submission, I was initially unfazed. After all, I haven’t needed a lot of sleep. I thought it would be a cakewalk. And to make matters easy, I loaded my ref with Diet Coke, Diet Chiwda, Diet Air and Diet BS. Who could stop me?

Well, myself!

Thanks to my old age, I just could not focus on the task at hand. I would doze off even while I was walking around. I was bouncing off the walls. Literally. I drank I don’t know how much water and I don’t know how much I peed but I do know that by the end of it, I was so sick and tired of all the visits to the loo that I parked myself outside. And while I was parked there, I dozed off as well.

Thankfully, the work I was doing was a writing gig. And I remembered that if you are a writer, you do not let the piece make you its muse. Rather you make it your bitch and belt it out when you feel like. So, I decided that even though all odds are stacked against it. And I promised myself that I would not sleep unless I do it!

Just that my body clock and age had decided that they would make it tough for me.

However, I persisted and finished the piece. The lesson I took away from that is that as I age, health has started to become an increasingly important component. Thankfully I am a little stable in the head (I think) and thus I have been able to survive. Need to do a lot more work on my physical fitness. Will make 2020 about fitness. And that means food and working out. Things that I have traditionally ignored.

Will work on starting now! Wait and watch!

About 12 hours after I caught some sleep, I am still reeling from the effects of not sleeping. Even this piece is not the best that I’ve written. I HAVE to fix things!

The Happiness Equation

I wake up really early. To a point that I am often the first one on the roads, the first customer at the local Starbucks, the first person in the office, the first person to use the loo (I drink a lot of water) and so on and so forth. And thus I often get to see people and things that others miss. Like there is hardly any security at any office complex at 7 AM. The loos inside these office complexes, malls, and other places stink like fish markets because there is no one to clean those overnight. The staff at Starbucks is more concerned about getting the display right than serving the customers.

Today was no different. I came in at 7 AM. Said hi to the security guard that did do a customary check on my bag. The Barista made my coffee without me even placing the order. I had some 120023 glasses of water. And when at around 9 my bladder was about to burst, I ran to the loo. And there was this young boy, probably from the north-east cleaning the toilet. And may I say he was doing a kick-ass job at it. I mean I have seen my share of blue-collar work and my never-ending complaint is that most blue-collared workers do not take pride in what they do. They do because they do not have any other opportunities per se.

This guy was doing what Will Smith said about laying bricks. Each brick to the best of his ability. This guy was cleaning each inch of the place to the best of his ability. And I love people who do their jobs well. I made a mental note to look for him and hire him when I am able to. And I moved on.

Fast forward a couple of hours. I rushed to the loo yet again (yes I drink a lot of water) and I saw the young boy howling. He was surrounded by a couple of other workers from the mall. These older workers were consoling him. I tried to overhear but I could not understand the reason for commotion there. By the time I decided I want to intervene, a small crowd had gathered there, mostly made of staff at the mall. And I decided to not. I suck at handling mobs, crowds, and other such gatherings.

I peed as fast as I could, did not want my bladder to burst. And in the meanwhile, the guy had gotten quieter. Thank God for that. I should’ve asked him but I did not have the heart to go and even ask why was he crying.

I wish I had the balls to. I wish I had the resources to make him happy again. I mean I know that life’s purpose is to not chase happiness (well, I can debate) but I also know that the ones like me that are divinely discontent are ok with this discontentment in our bones. But the aam aadmi may not be. Most people I know seek peace, happiness, and other such things. And I think if they are not as fucked in the head as I am, they are well within their rights to seek happiness. And as someone who believes that the purpose of my life is to enable others to do better, I must be able to intervene and give them what they seek. Even if its happiness!

That’s the sad part of being human. There are 7.5 billion others around you. And each is in a different place on the continuum of sadness and happiness. Some are bang in the middle – at equanimity – but they are few and far between. I really wish I knew where is my default state on this continuum. I think I am around equanimity but I lean to the happiness side. I know of people that are equanimous but lean to sadness. And that is ok!

Brings me to an interesting juncture. And the entire point of this post.

I have realized that I tend to avoid even knowing about what makes other people sad. I can give numerous examples to substantiate this. When I am on the road and I pass by an accident, I do not look at the site. I simply turn my head. I don’t want to look at the gore and tears and all that. I don’t see films that showcase pathos. Like this recent film that came out where Deepika Padukone is trying to highlight the plight of the acid attack victims, despite angry skirmishes with a very dear friend, I could not bring myself to watch it. A friend suffered from a brain surgery a few years ago and she wanted me to see the pics of the operation, I could not. When someone suffers or is at a hospital, I don’t know what to do about it. I want to be around, comfort them but I don’t know how to do it without getting affected myself. A few days ago when a friend had a meltdown, I went in a shell for a few days. I am weak like that. I am not a good friend at such junctures. I HATE those WhatsApp forwards and videos that show accidents and gore. And I have friends that revel in sharing those. I know they get pleasure and these are intriguing. But these things make me suck in the gut.

I am often told by colleagues that my negotiation skills suck and I often leave a lot of money on the table for others. I am told that I go out of my way to make everyone happy and in the process get fucked myself. And I am told that even when I see that people are taking me for a ride, I play along, get hurt and make large, terrible losses. I once lost all my savings and 2-3 years of life because I was way too empathetic to say no to a bad idea. I often get into trouble when I poke my nose into the affairs of strangers on the Internet and try to offer them advice and inputs. I have been called a creep and psychopath and all that. At traffic signals when those beggars come and flaunt their disfigured bodies, I am unable to look at those. There is this restaurant here in Mumbai where the waiting staff is deaf and dumb. They may have the best food but I can not bring myself to ever go there. They may claim to give employment to people that need it, but I really think they are paddling pathos to profit from it. Or may be not. The point is, I can not bring myself to consume that.

Thing is, I can’t help but try and help when I know that things could be better. I feel compelled. You know, how people cant control?

No, I am not a pushover. No, I don’t seek acceptance. No, I don’t want approval. Rather, I want to be rich and connected and all that and I don’t know if it’s possible without being able to tramp on others. But I do know that I cant see people that are sad. And if while negotiating someone plays the sadness card, I let go.

Coming back to the young boy at the mall. I don’t know what made him that sad. But I do know that his tears have given me the inspiration to do more. To be able to reach a point where I can give away material things if those tears were induced by the want of something like that.

Over and out.

PS: If it’s an emotional turmoil, I don’t know how to help. May be become a guru or something.

PPS: I know it is not my problem and I don’t need to help everyone. I know people don’t even want help. And definitely not from me. And I know that people find a way. And I know time heals. And etc etc.

PPPS: As a kid, some 20-25 years, I saw a video of an American journalist’s throat being slit. Slowly. deliberately. With patience. Without any remorse. Even though I saw it at a friend’s place, on a grainy computer screen, the scene often plays in my head. And every time it does, I get fucked. As I write this, to be honest, I have this funny feeling in a pit at the back of my mind and I may just throw up. Later! Typos and formatting can wait.

The first five days of 2020

Today is the fifth day of the year / decade / whatever you want to call 2020. And I know that these 5 days haven’t been the greatest of them all. I have been unwell since the 28th and today it’s the 8th day when I’ve had something or the other affecting me. Its nothing serious (I hope). Just some cold, cough, sore SORE SSOORREE throat, choked nose and general lethargy that the Bombay weather has brought upon us. Oh, I slept in the wrong position and my entire left side is hurting like a bitch. You know, when you are suffering how things compound? And on top of that the ones that I want to be loved by, they seem to have time for everyone but me. Guess its a phase and it will pass.

Thing is, as I kid I would rarely fall sick and in the last 3-4 months, I have caught something or the other, including Dengue. I did what I’ve never done – taken meds, of allopathic, homeopathic and ayurvedic kinds. I even took meds to help me sleep better at night.

No, it is not work-related. It is not the best time but I’ve seen such times in the past. And when I am on my bed, I do NOT think about work. So that can’t be the reason.

No, it is not about motivation. As I write this, its 7:36 AM on a Sunday, and I am at a Starbucks. If it were motivation, I would be curled up in my bed.

No, it is not food. I’ve never eaten healthy, except the times when I was on Keto. I eat whatever is the right combination of money, time and convenience. Food has been like that for me. Maybe I need to change that? May be.

No, it’s not the new place. I mean the new locality I am living at is a lot more noisy, dusty, disorganized, messy and all that compared to the older one. But I think I sleep well. I even get some dreams – just that I don’t remember them anymore.

No, it’s not about relationships. Most of mine are functional. And like food, convenience-based. I don’t want anyone to do anything for me that makes them go out of their way. I have trained myself to learn that relationships are superficial for most people – they just don’t acknowledge it. Yes, this is a controversial and unpopular opinion but that’s how it is.

No, it’s not about me being careless. I am wearing enough clothes to cover myself. Like I am inside a store and wearing a warm jacket – the kinds I would not wear even in Delhi! I am even taken meds as I said earlier.

Yes, it’s troubling me enough that it has made it to my blog!

And I guess this is what growing old is? Unexplained illness, visible frailty, irritable mood and all that. No, I don’t like this. No, I did not sign up for this.

I think that’s about it. I hope I get well soon. I hate it when I am like this. I become a non-functional human being and a jackass to be around when I am unwell.

Pray for me.

And 2020, please get your act together. I have high hopes from you!

Notes from Riyadh

So, a few days ago, I was in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. And this was my first trip there. And these are some notes observations from the trip, in case anyone is curious.

First things first.
It is safe. Probably safer than in India. I walked alone for miles and did not get uncomfortable at all. People are VERY friendly, simple and helpful.

Most speak some degree of Engish. It is not tough to get around with local taxis, Ubers, and Careems. No, there is no public transport. They are making a metro but it will only connect a limited part of the city. And it will take a while before it is up and running.

Even though I found it cold, dusty, gloomy at first, it grew upon me as I spent time there.

Yes, it is an Islamic Country
What this means is that the lives run around their practice of religion. Stores (even at malls) shut at the time of prayer. Restaurants don’t take orders. Offices have an area demarcated for prayers. It is absolutely normal to find a clean, respectful place wherever you are and offer your prayers.

No, it is culturally not very open
Continuing with Saudi Arabia being an Islamic county, they practice their traditions with all the seriousness. This means it is rare to see women without their Abayas. The only time I saw a woman without one was when I landed. And the flight I was in had one Brit lady that wore denim and a flannel shirt.

But if my conversations are to be believed, it is changing. I spoke to a lady there and she said that her niece (who’s 12 right now) may not grow up to like wearing an Abaya. But then this would remain an urban phenomenon. The smaller cities and interiors would retain their culture for a few more years at least, if not decades

No, you can’t take photos without permission, if there are people in the frame.

Yes, the internet is controlled and censored. But for someone like me, who had to use a lot of Google and GSuite, things were just fine. No, I did not try to search online for casinos, gambling, alcohol, pornography to see what results are thrown at me.

And yet, the country is thriving!
There is a lot of economic activity. There are malls, stores, coffee shops and everything else that you expect from a modern city in a thriving economy. Businesses operate from 8 AM and while office time ends by 5 PM, malls are open till 1030/11, local businesses are open till as late as 2 AM.

They have traffic jams, especially at office hours.

They have skyscrapers. I mean, of course, they’d have. Why would they not have? They are among the richest countries in the world. Just that sitting here in India, reading reports from western media, you tend to create a mental image. I mean look at this building…

I was later told that this twisted tower design is a common one in the entire GCC region.

And yes, it’s safe. Very. In the time I was there, I don’t think I saw one cop. Of course, there are cameras and sensoring and each activity is tracked and all that but in general, as I said, it’s safe to walk around.

There is Starbucks! Must give credit to the way they’ve got the service levels right. Even though I went there all of two times, the Baristas remembered my order!

There is even Benihana of Tokyo (junta from MDI would relate to this). There is all the big brands – Virgin, Nike, La Senza, Victoria’s Secret and some homegrown ones as well.

Coming back to activity. If you stood by a highway there and took a shot of the cars passing by, the number of cars, the make and the speed with which they are driving past, you’d never guess you were in Riyadh!

This is from a highway on a random day at a late hour (post the office rush). Ignore the bottom half of the photo. Look at the top half.

In terms of food, even though I am a vegetarian, I was ok. Riyadh has enough options that it is NOT tough to find vegetarian food. If you eat eggs, you’d not have any discomfort at all.

And things are opening up.

I have one word for this. Qiddiyah.

If you want more words, there is Riyadh Seasons.

And further, every person I spoke to – cab drivers, clients, prospective clients, businessmen, businesswomen, employees, restaurants, waiters, professionals and everyone in between wanted to work.

They even made this mosque that does not look anything like one. I can’t imagine any other religion giving one of its religious icons such bold shape! Hats off to the person that thought about it and then the person that gave approval. I can’t imagine that happening here. Especially in the environment that we live in!

KAFD Mosque. One of the most stunning buildings ever.

But, life for a regular Saudi is not as rosy as you would imagine.

Some cabbies told me that they work two jobs to make ends meet.

In fact, while I was there, talking to people, it dawned on me that it sucks that people have to go far from their homes and people and lives and stories and cultures to make ends meet. Like the cabbie I spoke to, he traveled from Karachi (in Pakistan) to become an Uber driver. There was this Saudi that came from a village in the interiors of the city. And then, there was me, from Delhi, living in Mumbai, in Riyadh to look for opportunities that help me make money. Like Amrish Puri said, “roti ke liye mitti sey door jaana padta hai“…

I wish I could fix it. For myself. And for the world.

Anyhow.

The other thing that I learned while I was there is the urgency of time. I had about a week there. And that meant I had to squeeze in all my meetings in that many days. And some of them were going to be with people that may not want to meet me. And that made me rush with things like no one’s business.

The things that I did not understand are.

They use and of course, waste a LOT of plastic. It is so rampant that I got sick after a while. They use it in EVERYthing. At restaurants, shopping malls, kiosks, laundry, packing, tablemats at restaurants to shopping bags to wrapping paper to everything else. It seems to be like a way of life in Riyadh!

The city is full of cats. I mean I felt as if I was in a ~~Murakami~~ Hemingway world. There are cats all over the place. In the alleys, on the roads, under the cars, in the dustbins, heck ever insider the Starbucks! If I were to live there any longer, I would do a Cats of Riyadh Facebook page, if it doesn’t exist already!

The other thing that the city has in abundance apart from cats is abandoned cars. You feel as if you are in a film set where there are gunners hiding behind these abandoned cars.

I mean look at this car…

Shot by Saurabh Garg, edited by greypixel.in. Also here.

In the end,

I’d suspect the people would have a high degree of satisfaction

In one word, I’d say the trip was more eye-opening than anything else. And yes I would love to come back! May be soon. Want postcards? Lemme know!

Thanks for reading!

Saurabh Garg,
Mumbai, 2020

PS: Apologies for the quality of the photos. For some reason this trip, all the photos are super bad. To a point that I hate them. But can’t go back now. Or may be, the next trip?

Disclaimers. Very very important. Please read.

I went there for a few business meetings. And this means that a lot of things were taken care for me – hotel, commute, etc.
I was there for about a week. This means that I did not see the entire city and did not experience it in its entirety.
I was confined to the Riyadh area. I did not step out of the city.
These are things that I observed. These are not scientific or something

Lucky Ali’s Biography (The #in2020 Wishlist)

If there’s one thing that I could ask the Universe for #in2020, it would be the opportunity to get to write and direct a film (fiction / documentary / docufiction / any other genre) inspired by the life of Lucky Ali.

His music, words, and life have been an inspiration since I’ve known what inspiration is. I have professed my love for him on this blog multiple times (Dec 2012, Aug 2006, Jun 2004). I infact learned how to use a computer while making a fan-website dedicated to him (I’ve long lost the code and access and other things, but the site is still archived on the Internet – see here).

Along with him, the likes of Rabbi Shergill, KK, Silk Route, etc. are the ones that I grew up listening to. Each of their tracks has held special place – each track dedicated to a person, a situation, a spot that I’ve been at in life.

If I could go back, I would give an arm and a leg. But, for the time being, what I really want really bad from Universe is the opportunity to do the Lucky Ali film!

Come on, universe! Make it happen. After all, it’s 2020!

PS: I was in Bangalore a few weeks ago and I so wanted to go to his house unannounced and request him to meet me and talk to me about his life and all. But then as with other things, I decided by myself that he would not like a desperate fan invading into his privacy. And I left it at that. In the hindsight, I should’ve gone!

PPS: The site that I made way back in 2003, I found it archived on the Internet here! Woah! The design is not that bad 😉

On mental health…

Sent this email to some co-workers. Publishing it on my blog because I think this deserves a larger audience.

Hi!

Disclaimers first.

You are getting this email because you work with me. And I work with you. In the capacity of a partner, employee, employer, friend, mentor, intern, associate, client et al.
This is going to be a long email. Please DO read this. It’s important to me that you do. No, you don’t have to reply.

So, you, of course, know me. And you know that I have always taken pride in pushing people out of their comfort zones. To a point that I zealously justify that “Good Job” thingy in the movie Whiplash. I love the idea of going all-in. Your work has to consume you or it is not your true work at all. I like the idea of NOT having a work-life balance. I have worshipped hard and long work over anything else. People that are famously workaholics are my idols (not just for what they’ve been able to achieve but the work ethic they had – and yes apart from a few exceptions I have not seen a lot of people work less and yet get successful). To me, you either went BIG or you did not try. I would push EVERYONE I know to try and aim for a large objective. With the rationale that even if you failed, you would have achieved things that were beyond your imagination. And I thought it worked well. I mean it DOES work well. I have enough evidence.

But something happened this week that is making me re-think the very core of my belief system.

So, the day before I met this young boy, A, for a coffee. He is one of those typical young people that I like to spend time with. Young, intelligent, ambitious, hungry for success, believes in self and his ideas. Hustles hard – travels through the length and the breadth of the city to meet people. Closes loops. Follows up. Actually does the work. Creates opportunities that don’t exist. Finds work wheres there no scope of it ever happening. In one line, if you asked me, he is on the fast track of success. Has EVERY ingredient that I always wish I had. I would’ve bet my life that in 5 years he would be amongst the richest and most famous people!

But then one minute into the meeting, I realized that something was amiss. And while talking excitedly about what he plans to do, he started sobbing. In the middle of a coffee shop. In the middle of a sentence. In the middle of a slide. Took him a few seconds of crying and then he was back to normal and continued where he had left! As if nothing happened. I figured that he is suffering from some mental ailment that I did not have an inkling of.

I saw him breakdown in front of my eyes.

Normally I am good at spotting signs but this one escaped me, even though I was meeting him often. Since the meeting, I’ve read quite a few things and I know that mental health issues can hide in plain sight and people suffering don’t even realize that they are suffering!

Coming back. So A, otherwise articulate, in that 20-minute meeting was hyperactive, jumped from topic to topic, cried a few times without realizing that he was, made the same point multiple times (he lost track of what he was speaking), talked about how he will rule the world (and he was damn serious about it), popped a few medicines (I hope they were legit) and could barely sit still.

This was the first time when something like this happened so close to me. And I was, I am shaken.

I am not exaggerating that it was THE most painful meeting of my life. I have been in meetings where people have lost their loved ones, lost business, flunked years, broken up with the loved ones and more. Those were comparatively ok. This was so painful that I could not sleep. And I was mostly like a vegetable for almost a day. I could not process that life could be so unfair. As I write this, I still can’t.

But what I did process was that my approach towards work may not work for all. Of course, I’ve been told by a lot of people that there is never a one-size-fits-all solution. I’ve read it multiple times at multiple places. I’ve even discussed it with close friends but never believed in it. I would dismiss these as easy reasons to be lazy, short-sighted and un-ambitious.

And I’ve never been more wrong!

So wrong that I am probably going to reevaluate my whole life. And like I said, my belief system.

I believe that all human progress was made by people that did not have work-life balance.
But at what cost? By having broken people living in misery? Or may be misery is indeed a fundamental truth of life? I know I am going down the existential-nihilism dredge and I ought to stop.

I believe that we need to work hard and do nothing else.
I believe that every waking minute needs to be spent on chasing growth / money etc.
I do not believe in the concept of breaks.
But does that really make people more effective? Does that deliver more? The whole of tech-space yesterday was debating about this on twitter. None of the sides was a clear winner. No, it’s not about winning or losing. It’s about people. And understanding that both may have its own merits. And you cant diss others for their unambitious, slow life. That is their decision to make and I can NOT push them to see things my way.

I believe that we need to surround ourselves with others that are on the same path and trajectory as us. And more importantly, chase the ones ahead, the ones that seemed to have it figured. Chase them till you die. Till you reach where they are (which is never because by that time they are further ahead). You know, rat race?
May it’s this rat race to the impossible top that sends people off the cliff? What if there is never a cliff? Just a treadmill?

I believe that we need to workship these heroes that have done superhuman things. And live with the maxim that if they can, then you can as well!
Of course, they have had different circumstances, lives, opportunities, ideas and all that. But who are we to think about those? What is important is that we have a cultish fervor towards these heroes.

May be, just may be, this entire startup culture, youth revolution, row your own boat, blow your own trumpet life is what is pushing people over the edge? Everyone is surrounded by so much media, content, information, signs that you can do so much more, that you can be the king of the world, that life is beyond the comfort zone, that you are special etc, etc. We hear about people next door that go on to raise a billion dollars, people that come out of nowhere to become the next Bollywood superstar, people that start with nothing and go on to captain the most prestigious team ever. These things are supposed to inspire you. Their stories are meant to help you push harder. After all, they cast-off, did their own thing, worked hard and achieved fame.

Is this the real culprit?

If they did not have glory, we’d not have heroes. May be there is indeed merit in remaining anonymous. Or may be not. What would make a man get up from his bed if he did not have his brethren to make envious?

Ok.
Enough.
I have ranted for so long now. And trust me I thought about A and his condition for hours before I could gather the thoughts to be able to write this.

And the point of this?

Well, if I’ve pushed you beyond your comfort zone, it is to help you see things that you probably aren’t able to. Now I know I have no right. If I’ve said anything out of place, caused you discomfort, belittled you, I am sorry.

And if you ever think you need some sort of intervention, if I can help in any way, PLEASE do let me know. PLEASE speak up. You ARE important to me. And to a lot of other people!

And please keep looking for signs around you and when you spot someone in distress, please please intervene!

And that’s about it.

Oh, one more thing. I love you! Really do.

Thanks,
@saurabh

PS: No, please don’t call me and ask who this person is.

PPS: If I sound incoherent, please excuse. I am writing after a while. And I am still shaken. To a point that I took a break for a day before resuming work. I can’t even imagine when A must be going thru. Or how any of you is.

The feeling of being listless

So I have been feeling listless in the last few days. Even before I went to Bangalore. And I don’t know why. May be it is the new place that I have moved to. Or may be that I don’t have an AC at my place and thus I have had inconsistent and fitful sleep. Or it could be that I don’t have an office place anymore (the guys I was sharing an office with, they moved onto a new place and they no longer have a vacancy). Or may be I am stressed about something important to me – my work, relationships, money.

I can’t seem to put a finger on things but I am being so useless that it is not making me listless. You know, spiraling down the feedback loop? You do something because you are not well. That act of doing that something makes you all the more unwell. And because you are unwell, you do that something. And you get in that loop.

Lemme give another example. You are fat. You want to lose weight. But because you are fat, you can’t seem to gather what it takes to go ride the treadmill. Rather, you eat more as you struggle with the misery of not going on the treadmill. And because you can’t go to the treadmill and you can’t stop eating, you get fatter.

Fuck. I am doing such a bad job of explaining this! I need to brush up my skills to explain things.

Anyway, I have been so listless that I am actually miserable in the head. I am so out of sync with how I identify with myself, the story that I tell myself, the narrative if you will…

Wait.
Who am I?
What is the story that I tell myself?
What is the song that I sing to myself?
What is my narrative?

Simple.
I am someone who wants to improve every day. And help others around me improve. And in the process, make money, create impact and move the world forward. This quote summaries me well…

So, if I am not improving myself every day, I believe I am not living. I am not alive. And how do I improve myself every day? Simple. Create (more) and consume (lesser). Meet more people. Work on my physical, emotional and mental sides of life. Physical – no I don’t work out but I like to walk, I like to eat in moderation. I like to sleep better. Mental – get active, keep my head engaged, think of things that I believe need work on. Emotional – become stronger to be able to cope up with the vagaries of life.

And I am not doing any of these. At all. I am not reading. I am not writing. I am not meditating. I am not creating. I am not meeting interesting people. I am not chasing largeness the way I ought to chase. I am not creating opportunities for myself. I am not consuming media (not reading books, seeing content, listening to podcasts, etc). I am not thinking. I am not actively questioning things and opinions and ideas. I am just being a vegetable. Heck, I am not being a good vegetable – not been sleeping well at all, like I said.

I am not doing anything that I want to be doing with my life or time. And it sucks so bad that I can’t seem to put my finger to it!

This suckyness in the head and the inability to think of answers is not the best place to be at. And I need to get out of it. And from whatever limited I can think, there could be a few solutions. Lemme try and list those.

To start with, this…

Found this on Kunal Shah’s twitter feed. Very consistent with what I’ve been saying all my life. Happen to things, rather than waiting for things to happen to you. Become a high agency individual, if you will.

Translating this into specifics, the action items for the next few days are…

1. I will go and find an office place for myself. Just that most of the co-working places are way too expensive and not designed to enable work. Really. They are not. And it’s pathetic. So, despite the limitation, I will find something that allows me to start work at 7 AM. And is accessible. Even if I have to spend extra, I will.

2. Get back to that life where work was the only priority and nothing else mattered.
Last few days, I don’t know why and how I started to take it easy. Which means that I would do those parties and stay up late and socialize and meet people to “catchup” and all that. Which works well for a lot of people. But not for me. So, I need to get back to that inhuman life and routine where I am up with the sun and spend more of my waking time working (and not leisuring).

3. Think hard about each thing and cut out parts that are hampering my sanity. If a relationship is not giving me happiness or comfort or peace of mind, I will move out of it. If there is an idea that is not progressing despite all my intentions, I will get out of it. If I have to take hard decisions, I will. Like AK told me yesterday, I am fucked because I am attached to things that I should’ve let go a long time ago! I mean if C4E does not make money for me, I should think hard about it and put a pause to it, if I have to. If I can’t seem to get the book 2 going, I must quit the idea of working on it. You get the drift?

4. Get my sleep in order. Since I’ve moved to the new house, I’ve not been sleeping well. And it’s affecting the way I operate. May be that it the key reason for my unhappiness and how I operate. Over the new few days, I will get my sleep in order. Everything else can wait. In fact, this should be on the top of the list. But it’s too much edit. So let is remain here.

So yeah.

This is the rant for the day.

Thank God I have this blog and a daily journal of sorts to record how I feel. If not for these, I would probably go mad. I wonder how those people that remain quiet operate. I could never. I need something to talk to, someone to rant to. Even if its the blog.

What about you?

The Bangalore Diaries

Started writing this in Bangalore when I was there a few days ago. Edited and published it on 05 Dec 19, from Mumbai.

So as I write this, I am at a Blue Tokai Coffee Shop at Indira Nagar, which to me will be among the top 5 places. Not Blue Tokai. I mean Blue Tokai is also nice. But Indira Nagar is dope. One of the top 5 localities to live in, in India.

Indira Nagar has everything that you may want. Wide roads, lined with trees on both sides, a mix of international and local businesses, offering you everything that you may want for life. There are cafes that offer healthy, organic food. There are coffee shops that offer you free wi-fi and uninterrupted long-hours of work. There are stores that sell from organic clothes to bicycling accessories to hard to find trinkets to electronics and what not! And on top of everything, the weather is just perfect. It could get hot but there are so many trees that you can take shelter under. There is footpaths that are not encroached by hawkers, bikes, and people. There are quiet lanes and bylanes and small gullies where you don’t have creepy people lurking in the shadows. There is fancy modern buildings and larger fancier row houses that put those bungalows in Delhi’s Sainik Farms to shame!

Shot on iPhone, by Saurabh Garg. More pics on this twitter thread.

Anyhow. So I was here for a TRS event. We had two filmmakers, one almost indie (Devashish Makhija) and another almost commercial (Hardik Mehta) talk about their idea of films and filmmaking. And this was our first event outside of Mumbai. We hoped to get some 50 guests but could only get 25-30. But then thanks to Devashish and Hardik, we made up for the empty seats with the quality of conversation between them. If you want to be a filmmaker, you HAVE to see the conversation. We’d try to put it on Youtube soon. Remind me in a few days if we don’t 😀

Devashish, Hardik in conversation with Shikha. Here’s a snapshot of the event. Photo by Anusha S.

So, while I was here for the event, I stayed back for two days to catch up with people that I needed to meet. In fact, I have been planning this for a while now. And a funny thing happened. I texted some 10-15 people and not one responded to the request to meet. This is the second time this has happened to me in the recent past. I really need to investigate the reasons. May be I don’t add enough value. Or may be people are genuinely busy. Or maybe I need to revisit how I work and operate. This entire “me being me” doesn’t work.

But then, from the ones that did make time to meet, I have to talk about meetings with S, M, and A.

S talked to me about life and work and was easily one of those few people that I automatically opened up to! While talking to her, I could talk about my insecurities, how my heroes seem to have fallen off their high pedestals, how I feel lost for most of my gurus are monsters, how I need to maintain a balance between a life I choose for myself and what I leave behind. It was easily one of the most mind-expanding conversations I’ve had.

M is a senior from MDI, has sold two startups and onto the third one. While talking to him, he spoke about what makes him decide when to jump in. He said till you get so obsessed with the idea that you can’t think of anything else, you MUST not jump onto it. Makes perfect sense. Just that I am not sure if this is applicable to me. As a human being, I am very very curious. To the point that I am a scatterbrain. But if I think about all the great people and the things they do. And they HAVE been obsessed with the ideas that they were working on. May be I need to think hard about my choices and all.

A has been one of my greatest supporters and with time, a friend that I wish lived in the same city as I. We first connected when #tnks came out (#note2self – must write more often – writing allows me to meet more people) and we’ve been in contact since. She is also a writer (see her work here). And a photographer (check her Instagram here). And one of the nicest people I know. So while talking to her, it dawned on me that I need to be better with the distribution. What this means is that today, once I share a piece once on twitter, I think my job is done and then I don’t do anything about it. Whereas, I’ve been told multiple times by multiple people that as a creator, my larger job is spread what I create. I can’t just write something and then hope that it will spread. As a “high agency” person (see this twitter thread), I need to take an active interest in distribution and make sure that everyone sees it. Especially in the times when Facebook and Google and other distribution channels obfuscate your content unless you pay them! We also talked about how she can work on her book more effectively. And I think I quite enjoy helping others. Well, who doesn’t 😀

The last thing that I wanted to do while I was in Bangalore is to try and meet Lucky Ali. Bangalore. Lucky Ali. How? Well, the gentleman lives there. And I know where’s his place. And I thought I would drop in unannounced and try to get a meeting out of him. And hope to get to write his biography (one of my life’s ambitions). But then more I thought about it, more I realized how insensitive and obtrusive it would be. I mean imagine someone walking into your home unannounced. How would you feel?

So yeah. That’s that. There were other smaller things there. Like the best butter dosa I’ve ever had in my life is from this place called Sri Udupi Park. I went back again and again to eat. I spotted this cafe that had organic food. The food was ok but loved the vibe. Then there was Jaypore – had like 5 shirts for men but priced very reasonably – I bought one of those 5.

In fact, Bangalore trip was like life in the slow lane and may I say, I loved it! Need to make more such trips! Until then, over and out 🙂

There and Here

Hello, world! Today I want to talk about the adaptability of human life. Seen from my lens.

What do I mean by this?

Well, I recently moved from a place where I lived for close to three years. And because I was there for three years, I had made more than a casual acquaintance with the people that lived and worked around there – apart from regular suspects like the neighbors, the residents, I also made got to know the people that worked there – you know, the security staff, the Starbucks Baristas, the grocery guy, the chemist and so on and so forth. After all, we are but social creatures.

So when I was making the decision to move from there to a new place, far away, one big criterion was this proximity to familiarity. I mean I was like, I’d have to do a lot of work to find new connections, get familiar with people, find my permanent place at the coffee shops, etc.

Now, its been about 15 days since I made the move. And you know what? I don’t miss the people or the place that I left behind. In fact, I am enjoying the new place. Not the house or space per se. But the locality that I’ve moved to. There is this sense of familiarity (after all we are in Mumbai, India) and there is this newness. The way it is with a new fling.

Plus, I am walking a lot more. I am seeing new people. Doing things that I would (and could) never do previously. And I think, more than anything else, Andheri is a lot more… for the want of a better word, real!

I mean the place I lived at before this (Wadhwa) and the place I hung out most often (Powai), ~~people~~ everyone had such perfect and rosy lives that it was unbelievable. I would feel out of place. You know, how those poor people are uncomfortable stepping into plush showrooms of luxury brands? That.

Here, in Andheri, I see people that are a lot more common folk. There is heat & dust, good & bad, gorgeous men & unfit women, wannabes & famous people, rich & poor and a lot more. There is more, how do I say, heterogeny here.

Back there, everyone was the same – like a friend would say, each family had 2 cars, 2 kids, 2 houses, 2 perfect bodies, 2 hobbies apart from work, 2 club memberships, 2 pets, 2 relationships (in and out of home), etc. They were so perfect that even the oldies were fitter than most people I’ve known in my life. Plus the issues people had there were about which car to buy – Audi or BMW. No, not Merc. The conversations I would hear over the din of life were about which new restaurant to go to for brunch and if a 15-day holiday in Europe better than that in America. I would know of the movers and shakers in the corporate world. And which actor is sleeping with which. I would not know about the dal roti ka bhao but I would know expensive the Kiwis and ~~Avocados~~ Avos are.

Since I have moved to Andheri, the things that I come across are people postulating about what moves the country and writers courting producers for scripts that they’ve taken 2 years to write and students pooling money to buy that one beer. People here are hustling hard to make ends meet. I now see those numerous idli-dosa stalls at 6 in the morning and a crowd of people jostling for space even when they can’t afford that 20 rupee breakfast. The restaurants I goto, the laughter seems a little more unrestricted, little more unbridled. Compare it to the suaveness of conversations around a plate that has just a morsel of food on it, often called culinary delight and artisanal. Yes, there are rich people. Probably richer – the maids are expensive here. Yes, there are as many luxury cars as I saw at Wadhwa, may be more – the largest Audi showroom is right here.

But the thing is, people here have a spring in their step. Back there, life was more leisurely. You know, brunches were more common than struggle to schedule life around when the BMC would supply water – yes there are places that do not have 24 x 7 running water. And no, I am not talking about different strata of people. The same middle-class household around here is a lot more active than it was back there. May be that wasn’t middle class and I am doing apples to oranges comparison? May be the Orange in me couldn’t fit in with the stack of Apples there? May be that’s why I don’t miss things there?

Staying on this fruity comparison, here, I can smell the real world, you know the world with all its vagaries and gifts? Some people call it the smell of Mumbai that hits them when they open the doors of the plane! There, it was all organic diffusers and Body Mists (which I dint even know existed) and Chanel’s No. 5.

Of course, a lot of things are still the same. There is the same harsh sun and magnanimous clouds. But there, the place had enough space to stare at the sky. Here, when you look up, you see buildings covering you and all you get is this sliver of blue. You know, how a bird must feel when it is still trapped in the egg in the cocoon!

In fact, when I was there, I’d tell this to a friend of mine often. That they lived in a cocoon. That thought has got a lot more reinforced after I moved here. That place was indeed a cocoon. Heck, the club there was called Club Cocoon!

Thing is, this sudden move from a place where I lived for three years, to this place where I am all of 15 days old, has opened my eyes. To things that I knew all my life but was never on the surface. I am wondering, the ones that move around a lot when they’re growing up, they’d have such rich experiences and opinions. They’d make such brilliant storytellers! Damn! I am jealous! Yet another thing that I did not have. Maybe if I were there, I would be better. Or maybe I wouldn’t even know that I ought to be better if I were there. This thing about them being better is in my head just because I am here. There. Here. There or here. There and here.

The mess in my head

I was not happy (Not unhappy. There’s a difference between not happy and unhappy) over the last few days. I was not even content, not at peace – the default state I want to be in. I could not put a finger on what was stopping me from being that. And I tried real hard to figure out but failed at it. I mean I am the kind that can sleep well even when I know that the world around me is crumbling. Or when I know that the world around me is gifting me EVERYthing that I have ever desired.

But for the last few days, I haven’t been sleeping well at all. To a point that I have this nagging, consistent, neverending mild headache. And of course, I am irritable. To a point that I am not talking straight to people that matter. And of course, I don’t like this. I have to have a cordial relationship with people. There’s nothing else that I care for more!

So, I continued with the investigation. I thought about everything that had changed in the last few days. And apart from the move to a new house, everything else seemed to be the same. The new house meant a new place, a new set of people that I’d nod at, a new Starbucks, a new neighborhood et at. What remained constant is the things I use at home, the clothes I wear, the food I ate, etc.

Just that I did not have the wardrobes and almirahs to place my things inside. And the new house still has all those boxes littered in various rooms. The curtains are yet to come. I am yet to find a maid to do the cleaning. No, I cant clean by myself. I mean there are some million chores to be done before the house becomes livable again. But these things can’t affect me.

Or can they?

I did everything I could to think of the reason and I almost tore whatever hair is left on my head.

I had no clue and was puzzled like hell about what was causing me discomfort. I was so frustrated and so angry that I threw my phone on a pile of clothes lying in one corner in the bedroom. And then after 10 microseconds, once I realized my mistake, I tried to search for the phone. The pile was so deep that it took me a while to locate the phone. And no, the screen did not break. And yes, I was wrong to have thrown my phone like that. As a kid, I would throw tantrums like this. I am way past that age now!

As I was hunting for the phone, the eureka moment happened for me. It dawned on me what was bothering me!

The mess in the house!
The untidiness.
The unorderliness.
All those boxes strewn all over the place.
All the dust that would rumble under the bare feet as you would walk.
That thin layer of dust on surfaces.
Dirty clothes that haven’t been washed in a while.
No order to how to things were arranged.

Of course, all this is temporary. I’ve just moved to a new place and it will be up and running in a few days. This is just the transition phase.

But if I reflect and think back, all these transitions have always made me miserable. Maybe this is the reason that every house I move into, I don’t like it? The dislike is not for the house per se but the mess that the movement accompanies! Fuck, epiphany!

In fact, if I go back in time to when I was a kid, I used to hate it when my parents got the house painted. We’d pile all our things in one room and spend time there as the painters worked in other rooms. And then we’d move all those things in the rooms that had got painted and then painters worked that one room. This entire process would mean there’s always mess and clutter and movement and all that.

I could not stand the mess back then. I can’t stand the mess now.

I like open spaces (which are of course hard to come by in Mumbai). I like cleanliness. I like order. And at the age I am at, I am averse to any change per se (and yes I want to learn and experience new things). And this moving houses is not just my cup of tea. Yes, I am all for living in new places. In fact #in2020, I will live in a new country. But the process of movement is not my scene.

When I say I want order and cleanliness, I don’t want to live in a fancy hotel room where everything is measured and placed at just the right place to add to aesthetic or comfort. Neither do I want to be a snob that will only like expensive, fancy things.

And no, I am not a sucker for familiarity. I just was cleanliness and order. You know, books arranged from shortest to tallest, containers stacked neatly, bed aligned in straight lines with other furniture, etc, etc. Long-time back, there was this ad where the guy would want absolutely round rotis and want to clip each stand in his beard to the same length. Don’t remember what was the ad. But I am that guy!

Anyhow. So, now I know what moving houses does to me, I need to list some lessons that I need to use when I move next. Here’s a list…

Lessons for myself?

1. Never take a house in a standalone building. Even if you have to pay a premium and you’d never ever use the facilities, take a house in a complex that has well-maintained amenities (like a swimming pool, a gym, etc).

2. When you are moving houses, before the house is settled and is up and running, stay in a hotel. Or crash at a friend’s place.

3. Pay extra for the movers and get a professional service. They would pack things well and handle stuff with care. Each time I have moved, movers have done a shoddy job with things. And I can’t handle incompetence.

4. ALWAYS insist on a semi-furnished house. Semi means wardrobes and appliances. Not furnishing. Never ever furnishings. They typically are worn and shitty. It’s ok to pay extra to avoid the heard-burn.

5. Reduce the number of things I own. I assumed that I have very few things but when I moved houses, I have some 20 boxes full of things. Books would be about 2 of those. But rest, I had no clue! With time, I will reduce things that I own. And now that my clothes are gone, I am gonna be very careful about buying new ones. I bought 4 shirts yesterday. I plan to buy 2 black shirts and that’s that for the next entire year.

6. Money is a tool that allows you to feel better and live better. If I could spend more money this time, I would’ve fixed all of the above. Honestly, I may not – I did not know these things myself. But next time, I will!

***

And that’s about it.

I hope next time I move, it is better.

I hope that now I know what had fucked my head, I would be a little more tolerable to people. And no the Mercury had nothing to do with this 😀