Category: #21daysOfLockdown

Day 11 of 21daysOfLockdown

Day 11 of the lockdown.

Day 16 otherwise.

So today, I finally decided to stop cooking at home. Even though it is super risky to order in, I still want to go ahead and do it. My theory is that these restaurants have been operational for a while now and that means they are taking care of the safety requirements in terms of food and all. Plus the amount of time and mental trauma it takes to cook, clean, cook, clean twice a day is not something that I can’t handle. I have learned enough to be able to do it if there is an absolute need. But for the time being, I am happy to order. The only trouble is that most restaurants that you can order from are cutting corners (at least the ones I have been ordering from) and sending in smaller portions. And I think it’s ok. I want to judge but lemme take a step towards stoicism. 
The food situation is thus sorted. I need to reduce the amounts I eat so that I can actually lose some weight without working out – who doesn’t want that? Apart from that, I also want to (and will work on) my sleep. For starters, I plan to sleep at 930 PM till the time lockdown is lifted. I mean if I cant do this at this time, when would I do? In terms of headspace, thanks to Naval’s 60-day meditation challenge, I have been thinking hard about things. Harder than I’ve ever thought. And on things that are important. And has made me realize things that I never knew about myself. For example, today I realized that I am no longer a details person. I like to think and execute the macro and want someone else to do the dirty work. Of course, no ships were built by people that did not do the dirty work themselves but if that’s a tradeoff I have to make, I will! At the age I am at, while I do want to learn new things and upskill myself, I do not want to undo what I have.
If I do these three (not waste time on chores, sleep well and think deeper), I think I should be ok. I will have enough time to be able to do things that I have planned to do in this break. This IS a break! I mean most of us are getting paid while we are at home. If you can read this, you for sure are. It may be less, it may have reduced a bit, it may be under a threat but as of today, you are getting paid. And all that you have is today! Not yesterday, not tomorrow. Yes, learn from the past and plan for the future. But live in today. 
Anyhow. So that’s that. Today was day 11. We are at more than the halfway mark. If we survived for this long, we can do whatever is left. As always, please take care, be good! 
See you guys soon! 

Previous posts in the series – 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7*, 8*, 9*, 10
* – the days I did not post

Day 10 of 21daysOfLockdown

Day 10 of the lockdown.Day 15.

15 days now since I have been indoors. Except for the two grocery runs I made. And except the occasional walk that I go for around my building. One time I ever walked up 12 stories – you know, was trying to get fitter. But then that shall remain a distant dream.

So, the 10th day. I think I am beginning to accept that lockdown is not a bad idea, after all. I mean I am fairly sorted in the head even though I am alone. I am enjoying this solitude. I do miss company once in a while but those times I am ok with video calls. Etc etc. 
But then, like everything good, there are a few bads that I am worried about. Lemme make a list of things that are concerning me.
Today, I ran out of groceries. But then I found a restaurant that is willing to deliver at this time. So that is sorted. 
My internet connection is getting slower by the day. Apparently, everyone is streaming shit on Netflix and Youporn and all that. I know tons of friends that bough subscription to multiple streaming services – I mean how many times can you watch the same shows over and over again? In fact, the other day I read a tweet where a gentleman predicted that in about 12-18 months, there would be a glut of content on Netflix cos nothing new is getting made. Coming back to the Internet, this is something that I can clearly not do anything about. So, fuck this! 
Work is surprisingly going good. I mean I don’t really have a lot to work on – thanks to a general lull in the business environment. But whatever little I have, I am getting a lot more done. At this stage, I can only hope that things will improve. And I hope things improve fast – before I am out of money (which I already am – just that I wish I don’t run out of my credit line).
Fitness is not being up to the mark. But then there is no place to showcase the fitness. Except for all the jhaadu and dishes that I do. And then I don’t really have anyone to show the great job that I am doing with jhaadu. 
In terms of life philosophy and other such things, I think I need a fresh start. You know, reset life. Start afresh. Like in the Fast Car. 
Anyhow. Glad to have finally written something after 3 days. Need to get other things back on track after I took that ill-timed sabbatical a few days ago. 
Over and out!

Previous posts in the series – 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7*, 8*, 9*
* – the days I did not post

Day 6 of 21daysOfLockdown

Day 6.
Day 11.

Today was day 6. And like most things human, life seems to have come to that point where I have accepted this as a new reality. It took me all of 11 days. To start getting comfortable with the idea of being alone, enjoying my own company and accepting that I will have to do the dishes, come what may. And while I was not sure about the idea, in the beginning, I am starting to see the benefit (the kitchen would not stink when I go to get myself that glass of water. 
Apart from that, today as well, like the last 2, 3 days, I could start work only after it was 1 PM. And then before I could list out the things that I was supposed to work on, it was lunchtime. And before I knew it, it was time for the siesta. And before I knew it, I had seen 5 episodes of Blacklist. And before I knew it, it was the time to go to bed! Where I am, writing this. 
If I were to talk about good things, I did the second day of Naval’s 60 minutes a day for 60 days meditation challenge. It was tough today. Hopefully, it will get easier with time. Oh, I also started OMAD today (I ate some 1500 calories today, in one go) and I hope to continue to do so tomorrow. I did resist the temptation to have coke multiple times during the day. And I did not have coffee or peanut butter. Guess who’s being a good boy! 
Of course, I did not work. Not on the website, not on the guitar, not on reading, not on my second book. And this has to change. Will try to do it from tomorrow. 
Wish me luck! 

Previous posts in the series – 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Day 5 of 21daysOfLockdown

Day 5.

Day 10. 

Not the best of the days, even though I started it off brilliantly. And I did catch up with a few friends from the past that clearly I’ve grown over, now that I met them on a video call, forced by the Covid-19 crisis.

All was ok, in fact, I took a break yesterday only when I did nothing but watch TV and fed myself crap – figuratively and in reality. Today was supposed to be the day I got back to work. And I did. To be honest. Right in the morning. I started with work and I don’t know where I lost it.

As I write this, I am plonked in front of the TV, binging on some stupid content that I would not remember tomorrow and I don’t know how to not do it. At this hour I was supposed to be out walking, or climbing the steps or something.

I think the inability to meet people at a Starbucks is eating away at my heart and head and all that.

I guess once I sleep it off, I will be ok.

This is it for the day. While you’re here, see this 10-minute video.

See you tomorrow!

Previous posts in the series – 1, 2, 3, 4

Day 4 of 21daysOfLockdown

Day 4. Day 9. Whatever. Point is, I am indoors for a few days now (except grocery runs) and today I just did not want to do anything at all. I mean no work, no tracking, no timesheets, no Asana, no worry of the new normal in a post-Covid world, no stress about what I am eating and definitely no thinking about how I could be doing more in this time that all of us have at hands. 

So I did not. 
It’s 7:59 PM in the evening as I write this trust me I have not done a single thing that I would do on a normal day. For starters, I haven’t showered. I haven’t cooked today (phew! what a relief). I had two Diet Cokes (and the supply is getting exhausted now). And I have parked myself in front of the TV and been on a marathon. I’ve seen two already, on to the third one as we speak. 
The only thing I’ll do is upload a pic on Insta. I don’t want to break that streak. 
Oh, and this post. Of course. 
So here’s a thread that I wrote on twitter the other day when I was on my way back from Delhi. This was just 2 days before the Junta Curfew drama happened and about a week before the Lemme reproduce it here (and edit a bit to give it more context).

[START]On my way to Mumbai, settled on 11A. A zillion thoughts are clouding my head. Merit a blogpost but because there’s nothing else to do as I wait for the takeoff, here’s a thread. Primarily, me talking to myself. You know, like writing to the dear diary?

1. First things first. What is home? I was born in Haryana. Grew up in Delhi. I lived across India for a few months in tiny spurts. Now settled in Mumbai. Since 2014. Always maintained that Mumbai is home. But Delhi is where I belong. 

Or vice versa. Maybe. 
You know, confused millennial.
To add context, parents are back in Delhi. Significant relations (friends, co-conspirators, business partners, colleagues, loose connections, flings, etc) are mostly in Mumbai. Relatives are spread across the world. Not too attached to them.

Work is primarily Mumbai. All passion projects (except writing that can happen from anywhere) are Mumbai. 

Most importantly, I find Mumbai conducive to my lifestyle – professionals, creative kinds, hustlers, convenient, etc.
So, Mumbai looks like home. No? Maybe. Maybe not. 
You see, confused millennial.
2. Why am I going back to Mumbai? 
Isn’t Mumbai my home? But then home is where your people are. Or where the work is.

Most of the people that I want to see often (even though they are a mere handful) are indeed in Mumbai but are self-isolating. So physical proximity doesn’t really help. Plus I am not the video calls kinds. I love my handshakes and hugs and pats on the backs.

Work has come to a grinding halt. You see events and films. Marketing consulting is getting fucked as well. Slowly. Thing is, what I do is a discretionary expense at best. After all, everyone “knows” marketing. Yes, I do add value and yes it’s important. But a lot of it requires F2F interactions to deliver. But in times of Covid-19, these would get few and far between. As they say, winter is coming.


So there’s no real reason to go to Mumbai. Or stay back in Delhi for that matter. Thing is, life as we know it, will change. This IS the black swan event that @nntaleb has talked about often.

3. What about my people? 

I don’t know. While am a very benevolent, empathetic person, I have less than 5 people that I really really care for. The kinds I’d considered dying for. These 4-5 will be ok. And they anyway don’t rely on me for anything apart from emotional support that I am not too good at giving.

The larger community, world that I want to change, make better, I don’t know what would happen to them! And come to think of it, they don’t really know me. And I don’t do zilch for them right now. I just have a vague idea that I want to make this world a better place. Too much wishful thinking. 

You see, ambitious millennial. 

What about work? 

Well, post-Covid, people like me that rely on conversations and meetings to earn our bread would be forced to re-look at how we work. This is already happening in less than 10 days since I wrote this. 

My strength is opening doors with strangers and connecting them with others (people, ideas, etc) that add value to everyone. You know, scout. Or a connector, if you will. In the post-Covid world, this skill will move online. 

And I suck at that! 
My work will change. 
The way I work will change. As a result, my lifestyle will change. In fact, am already thinking about the next steps with life. I haven’t trusted a lot on savings and it’s a hard and long few months ahead of me.

Of course, things may come under control soon and all this may turn out to be the musings of a restless mind that is bordering on paranoia. But this incident has made me look at the very assumptions that I’ve made to build my life. Need to think about things that will make life comfortable and better in times to come.

[END]
I hope that made sense. How are you coping up with the lockdown? What’s your defense mechanism? 
And with that, that’s it for today! See you tomorrow 🙂 

Previous posts in the series – 1, 2, 3

Day 3 of 21daysOfLockdown

Today, after ages, the things I’ve been cooking for myself started to taste like food. And more importantly, look like food. You know, to me, the taste is a state of mind. I can happily eat the blandest and the spiciest foods ever. I think I became like that when I went to MDI for college. The food at the mess was great for a couple of times and after that, the taste buds just died. Like died. To a point that even a trip back home will not when my mom would make some amazing food would not give me any joy. 

But that’s that. The thing is, I never imagined that a time would come when I would have to cook and clean for myself. To me, the availability of a domestic help was as much a guarantee as access to air and water is. Was. Of course, it is not true anymore. As we have seen. 
The thing is, I don’t mind these chores at all. I am ok to work in the kitchen and all that. The challenge is that I want to use this downtime for others to create something lasting and sustainable for myself. And I want to believe that if not for all the chores, I would’ve! 
In fact, my life has been thrown upside down. I suddenly have a lot less time on my hands. And while I do practice the guitar and tinker around with WordPress, I am simply unable to do anything else. And there are just far too many chores. I hope I lived with full-time help or something that would take care of things. I now know how all the rich ones can do so much when all the poor ones can not! 
Anyhow. Enough of rant. I shall do what I have to. 
So, I started SoG today. Been meaning to start for a while. Let’s see how long this iteration lasts. Taking lessons and cue from last time around, I am not putting any pressure on myself about content, frequency and all that. I will send as and when I feel like sharing something. I just to make my mind about what goes on this blog, what goes on SoG and what goes on LinkedIn. And to be honest, I am glad that I have an audience – even if its small and a smaller number reads what I send.
Apart from that, I did talk to Suresh for a bit about #book2 and I don’t think it is going well. The poor guy puts in a lot of effort and I am disappointing him with all my inaction 🙁 
Thing is, in terms of how the day went, not really happy. I cant be. It was almost 12 before I could start anything productive. And it’s scary and sad at the same time. If at this time when everyone has all the free time on their hands, I can’t find the time to do things that I’ve always wanted to, when would I? I think I need to be more disciplined. 
While it’s day 3, for me, technically, its the 8th day. By now I should’ve been accustomed to the din of life where I live by myself. But of course, I am not ok. I can’t wait to get back to normal life where I would not waste time on chores. And will have more time to work on things that I like. Or will I? Time shall tell! 
Previous posts in the series – 1, 2

Day 2 of 21daysOfLockdown

Today is Day 2 of the lockdown. And like yesterday, I cooked for myself (once, made a large pot, to be eaten multiple times during the day), did the bartans, did some safai and then after all that tried to get some work done. And no, I did not get a lot of work done. This is probably the first time I am doing all these chores by myself and no, these are not fun. These are not for me. Of course all the respect to people that manage all these AND other things alongside. I cant. Not even to save my life.

Here’s a salute to the ones that do!

Moving on.

So because there is nothing important happening, I have a lot of time to think about things. And the mindless chores are making me get into that diffused thinking state where you let your mind wander about. And I have realized that this is the kind of idyllic life that I’ve always wanted.

In that ideal life, I would wake up without an alarm, in an empty bedroom. I would not have pressing engagements that expect me to reach a certain destination. I would start my day with some thinking, some warm water, some stretches, you know, coming to life. And then get to work. And then spend the day learning (today I did some), creating (today I did some) and connecting with people I care for (today I did some) towards the evening. And then wind down and sleep for like 8 hours or so. Of course all the bills, chores would be taken care of.

And this lockdown is making me do EXACTLY that. Just that the dream of becoming a rich and powerful man will have to be kept aside. Or may be when I am bored with the idleness, I could whip out my Ferrari and drive to the nearest city, pull off a caper, holiday at an exotic destination and then come back to the easy life. No?


But, SG, what about all those dreams and ambitions that you have?
Oh, those… do they really matter in the grand scheme of things? I mean look at us now. We are stuck in our homes with no hopes for the next 3 weeks!

But, SG, if you were indeed as rich as you want to be, you wouldn’t be stuck here! No?
You are right. I wouldn’t be. I would probably be at a secluded, landlocked island, chilling on the beach – eating, sleeping, creating and making merry.

There. I said it.

Sigh! 

So moving on. 2. 

The other thing that is remarkable and happened today is that I broke my phone. There is this large green patch on half the screen that won’t go away. And I can’t type on it. And I cant tap on it. Basically, it is useless. I will have to get a new one. Which I can only after the lockdown is lifted. Which is the cheapest iPhone right now, by the way? 

The bad part is that I will have to spend a mini-fortune. Unless I am ready to move to the Android universe (which I don’t want to). The good part? I will probably spend far less time on the phone.

Moving on. 3
The best part of the day was when I saw this TED talk about how to learn in 20 hours. The speaker, Josh, postulates that you can be above average in any skill in just about 20 hours of deliberate, regular practice. Keywords – deliberate, regular. Inspired by him, I have picked up the guitar. Let’s see where I reach. Today was day 1. So yeah, 20 days to go.

That’s about it, I guess. Day 2 (which is technically day 7 for me) was a mixed bag but exactly the kinds that I want for myself – just need to find some banks to break-in to and super superstars to date and some countries to own 🙂

Stay safe, stay sane, stay healthy.

Previous posts in the series – 1,

Day 1 of 21daysOfLockdown

Hola!

We are in a lockdown for the next 21 days. And that means that I am away from all the people that I care for and talk to and want to talk to and like to talk to. And that means that I am by myself for the next few days. And that means that this is the closest I will ever come to being a Forrest – you know live by yourself? Of course, I have a comfortable house and a laptop and a refrigerator full of Diet Coke and an Internet connection that allows me to talk to people across the world and a smart TV that has Netflix on it and all that. But still, I will not have any human connection at all. For the next 21 days. I mean, except the occasional grocery runs that I would make. But then those humans are not humans you know. I mean they are not friends. I don’t crave for their touch on my skin. I don’t want to sing them a song. They don’t see my shenanigans. They are the Amy, Lenord, Raj, Howard, Penny, Bernie and whoever to the Sheldon in me! You know what am saying?

Anyhow.

Now that I am in the lockdown, I have no clue what to do. I anyway had little to do when I was able to be out and about but this forced seclusion is not really cool. I crave independence and being the master of my ship and all that. I know that I need to stay away from the world. I know that we need to stay far from each other. But then I don’t like the idea of getting forced to stay indoors. Of course, this is for the others that do not understand this but I don’t like getting slotted like that, among others.

The thing is, there’s no other option. I can either crib about it and write fanciful pieces of texts about it. Or I can use this time to do things that I’ve always wanted to. In fact, in VG, in one of the conversations, last night said,

“This lockdown will separate boys from men. People who dint do things on their list like working out, reading books, Learning a new thing due to lack of time..if they don’t it even know..they should stop bullshitting themselves” 

May be this is my opportunity to test if I really want that book that bad!

So, I will take his advice and see if I can do what I have always thought I’d do if I had the time. While it’s a long list, the top of it would be #book2. Let’s see if I can push it out of my system as we stare at at least 21 days of disruption.

Plus, apart from the book, there are quite a few things that I’ve wanted to do all my life. this is the perfect opportunity. What I need to learn is accessible on the internet and I have a lot of time and there’s no one to disturb!

Plus I think I will try to adapt to the non-digital life. In the sense that I will try to move all my timekeeping, thought and all that to a notepad. I already have one where I’ve been logging in my thoughts since 20th March (the day I went into self-isolation. And no, grocery runs do not count). It is incredibly tough to not rely on the convenience that technology offers but I will try.

Let’s see if I am a boy. Or a man.

With that, it’s over and out. Oh, and one more thing. I will try to write every day for the next 21 days. Today was day 1. See you guys tomorrow.