7 Things – 922

#in2017, I will

#in2017, I will do the following. In no order,

[Work]

Make C4E amongst the best live entertainment businesses in the country. And subsequently, in the world. More about C4E is at https://medium.com/c4-entertainment.
Evolve AWSL into a brand consulting business. The website is not up yet but will be.
Create a third revenue stream. When I say third, the first two are C4E and AWSL. In that order.

[Health]

Be 32″ in girth. I am 36″ as we speak.
Finish a half marathon.

[Personal]

~~Get back to drinking Diet Coke. Last I had a coke was in 2015. I wrote about it here.~~ Update. I had 3 today itself.
Compete in an amateur pool tournament. Right now, I don’t even know if we have Am tourneys in India. Know of some? Point me to them.
Final table a poker tourney that has more than 50 entrants.
Create a piece of public art. As of now, it looks like a coffee table book with Jayati. May or may not happen.
~~Get a third passport booklet. There are 7 pages left in the second booklet. And there is one trip planned so far. Need to do 6 more.~~ Got it in Sep.
Buy a car.

[Writing]

Complete #book2 and get it ready for publishing.
Make onWriting.in a key player in the Indian publishing business.

[Misc]
Dont know what categories to put this in. These are good to have, not MUST have. And this implies, others are MUST have.

Attend a 10-day Vipassana session (I did one way back in 2009)
Teach
Fall in love

[Moon Shots]

Work towards The Everest.
Find out ways to impact a billion lives.
Get to Rs. 1 crore in bank. Its still not a million but its almost 1/6th of that. A start. As of today, I have Rs. 11,942.73. Thats like 100x.
Read 50 books. The list of books I want to read is here. Tell me the ones I must read. Preferably non-fiction.
Make tunnels ;P

Thats all. Look a lot but it aint not too much if I remain focused. ‘If’ is the key operative here.

You know a funny thing? The list looks ALMOST similar to the one I had made in 2015. So, in two years, I havent changed. Or grown up. Damn, Mr. Garg! Just that this time, with age, I seemed to have mellowed down. Most of these goals look realistic now. Except the moonshots. But thats what moonshots are for. No?

And for the record, here are similar posts from 2014, 2013 and 2012.

What are your goals? Do you have a list? Share it with me? Lets work together and make this the best years of our lives?

Saurabh Garg

1 Jan 2017

Mumbai

P.S. Apart from this tangible goals, I sent this letter to a few friends, colleagues and mentors. May be you will find this useful. In the letter I talk about 7 things that could help life get better. They are making the most of time we have left, finding the muse, reading, paying it forward, living a mindful life, getting a goal and start saying thank you. Most of my goals echo these 7 themes and I will keep reiterating these as I go along!

P.P.S.: #note2self, I must do a hits and misses post. Like I did in 2016.

7 things that an event manager cant live without

This is the third post in series. Read the first two here (post 1, post 2). This series started as a rant on my previous profession. And then someone asked me to leave the rant and try and talk about other things true about the event management profession. Post 2 and this one are a result of that. This is also cross posted on Medium as a collection.

1. Cigarettes. With or without hash. No no. Its illegal but I think I have seen some people using loaded cigarettes while they are running a show. Nothing like a cigarette to beat all the stress that piles up on your head while you are at it.

Actually, cigarettes are lot more than mere stress busters.

Cigarettes help you kill time. No one questions when you want to take a break for smoking. On the other hand, you say you want to go pee and you’d get frowns. You say you want to go eat, people would laugh at you. But no sir, when you have to go smoke, its like a national emergency and you’d be excused. And may be given a warm farewell for your smoke break.

Cigarettes are social. The entire concept of smoking and drifting towards an inevitable death is communal. You are bound by death when you smoke together. And thus more friendships are forged by sharing a 84 mm stick than by vows or promises or other such old school things. It brings strangers together. Its an ice-breaker where you dont have to struggle for a question to approach the stranger. All you need is a simple, “You’ve got a light?”

Cigarettes remove social barriers. I have seen richer than the richest and poorer than the poorest coming together to smoke. I have even seen them begging for a stick. If not for a stick, then for a matchbox. Like Bachchan said, religion divides people whereas alcohol brings them together, I reckon cigarettes bring people closer.

You may be the ugliest of frogs and you may want to date the most charming princess and you may not know how to approach the princess. No worries. Just hold a stick in your hands and ask for a light.

I know there is a beautiful love story waiting to be written that is started by innocuous sharing of a stick Someone just needs to write it. May be I would someday.

2. Red Bull. No this post is not sponsored by Red Bull. It would be nice, if it were. But unless there is a crate of Red Bull in sight, no event qualifies to be called an event. We need wings to be able to run an event. Even if you are used to the taste of Red Bull and rush that it gives you.

Thing with Red Bull is that its more psychological than anything else, in my opinion. I may not be tired, I may not need it. But like Pavlov’s dogs, moment I know that I am going to run an event, my mind, my body starts craving for a Red Bull.

Red Bull I think is more than that. Its a symbol of respect. You see there are hierarchies in the event agency. And these hierarchies are reinforced in subtle ways. Red Bull is one such method. Since its expensive, not everyone can afford one. Not everyone can claim the bill for a Red Bull. If cigarettes unite, Red Bull divides.

And, to re-iterate, no, this post is not sponsored by Red Bull. But it would be a good idea if they would.

3. Profanities. There is nothing that brings out emotions better than liberal use of profanities. “Dude, can you raise the hall lights” is not as effective as “Mother fucker! Why is the hall so dark? Is your wife fucking a monkey in there? Raise it up”. But then, this may be limited to just me.

Not just emotions. Profanities is also about urgency. If I need something done tomorrow, I would say, “please”. If I want something done now, I’d be officious and say, “Do it”. But if I want something done yesterday, I’d say, “Mofo!”. And everyone, every Tom, Dick and Harry (or Ramesh, Suresh and Pappu in Indian context) knows this.

You know, next time you are doing something stressful, try it. Create a control group. Use milder things like “please”, “can you” etc to talk to the control group. And to the subject group, use profanities. the cruder the better. As crude as a pirate may get. And then compare the results.

Btw, if you are a parent of my prospective bride or you are thinking about me in a romantic manner, I no longer work with an events company and thus I dont engage in use of these sick words.

But, if you are a prospective employer, hire me. I am dying to work again. Hopefully at an event company.

4. Alcohol. In any form, shape, size, colour, glass. Take your pick. The guy I reported into, he loved Whiskey and Red Bull. My DJ friend loves Vodka and Red Bull. My God (of events) wants cheapest whiskey made in India and just some water.

I on the other hand was content with Breezers, that too once in a while.

I have known people to consume anything and everything starting from Beer to Wine to Whiskey to Vodka.

I have seen all sorts of people, celebrities, actors, models, cricketers, dancers, singers, carpenters resorting to alcohol just before a show. Apparently it soothes their nerves.That is before the event. And when the show goes off well, they need something to celebrate. Something that simulates their calmed nerves. What do they do? Drink! And add cigarette to the concoction, we have a winner on our hands.

Trust me, the bitching sessions that happen after an event, after everyone of importance is drunk, after all the idle banter has happened, is like a gold mine. Secrets, skeletons, dead bodies come out tumbling in such sessions. Thanks to these sessions, I know which actress is sleeping her way to success, which producer is hands in glove with unions, which VP is screwing which trainee, which company is bribing which minister and how much, which dude is going to resign, which client would become more important in the next few years, why am I bald, why is the Earth round, why do people do what people do. If only I had the sense to carry a tape recorder while I was working, I would have been richer than Scrooge McDuck by now. Hell I could’ve even defected to US of A and become their informant and lived a lavish life in their witness protection program. Its actually my dream to be able to do that some day (to be able to inducted into WITSEC). Its on the top of my bucket list.

And like I said earlier as well, if you are a prospective bride, no I dont booze. And if you are a prospective employer, a Cranberry Breezer please.

5. Run Order. This is a sheet of paper that has the order of events printed on it. If you see this sheet, you’d know what you are supposed to do. If you follow this sheet, your job is reduced to that of a puppet master, with every action for every puppet written on it. Its that important!

And yet more often than not, this is what everyone ignores and this is what separates a good event manager from bad.

Apart from being able to run a smooth and flawless event, if you have the sheet of paper in your hand, you can be officious and yell on people. I mean you can anyway yell on people if you are an event manager but then the run order makes it official. Like a 2RsPeople referee can yell on a million dollar footballer, you can yell on a client, on a movie star, on an item dancer, on the hotel manager, on the audience, on everyone in that room.

But if you dont have this sheet of paper in your hand, you lose it. The right to yell on people. After all, the written word is like a thing cast in stone. Everyone can see it. And even if you disagree with it, you can NOT change it.

And once the event is over, the sheet is still useful. For starters, you can flag this sheet of paper in a client’s eye if something goes wrong and he wont get offended. You can use this to roll a joint. You can use this sheet to take clandestine notes while you are gossiping with the client. You can even use it to break ice with that unsuspecting cute woman who you may spot at a club and you know that she is the one that you have been waiting all your life for.

And so on and so forth.

Bottomline, a run order is a sacrosanct document that you better keep handy at all times. Before, during and after the event. I in fact carry an old event run order in my bag even now. You never know when I get to meet the one I have been wanting to be with.

6. Mobile Phone. Not just to make frantic phone calls while you are panicking but to play brick breaker (if its a Blackberry) or WhatsApp with that item dancer that is performing at your event (if its an iPhone). No, a real event managers do not use an Android phone. If you are an event manager and you are reading this and you use an Android phone, your will hit a glass ceiling very soon. Even if its a top-end phone by Samsung or Google. Two words. Glass. Ceiling.

This means you’d spend the rest of your life packing and unpacking boxes and fighting with customs all over the world. This means that you’d not be able to party after an event because you are supposed to work on the dismantle. This also means that the date with that item dancer that you have been dreaming of since the first time you invited her to perform, that will not happen. Unless you switch to an iPhone.

I use an iPhone and yes, I have had the pleasure of having coffee with couple of these women. On different occasions.

Like all previous things, if you are a prospective bride or a prospective employer, you know the disclaimer already.

7. Facebook! This is a surprisingly recent phenomena. I am not hoked on FB, as it is lovingly called. Yet.

But I do see people posting their pictures when at airports or with celebrities. I see people checking in at those fancy hotels where we get to work. I see people tagging each other when they are partying. I see attempts, often failed ones, to add those items dancers and celebrities as “friends”. I see people posting pictures from the events that they are working on. I see them posting pictures of impressive setups and other things. I see them trying to solicit work.

So far I have failed to understand the reasons and benefits of all these things. Of course its a marketing tool. But if I am marketing myself, do I also want to show that picture that I clicked at PatPong where I am mobbed by ten ~~strippers~~ entertainers? Do I want to feel miserable about all the cars that a young singer is buying. And when I compare those cars to my ten year old Santro, at least I get severe bouts of depression. And this is just the car. There is so much more to get depressed about on Facebook. Better stay away. No?

But then, thats me. A bald, old, ex-event manager. The younger flock, they flock the Facebook as if their lives depend on it. I have seen people using it while they are running a show, while they are partying, white they are on the potty, while they are eating, while they are walking, while they are sleeping, while they are working and while they are spending time on Facebook. Inception anyone? Facebook inside facebook! Wow that’s an app idea!

Anyway, while we are talking about FB, here is a small advert. Begin Advert. I do use facebook and I made a page for the book that I am writing – The Nidhi Kapoor Story. I have close to 100 likes on that page and I would love it if I could get some more. Please help. Please like. I promise that I’d do something special for the first 500 people that like the page. The numbers are going up real fast. And you still have a chance. Go there and like! End Advert.

Guess this is it for the time being. What about you? Are you an event manager? Do you agree to these seven? What can you not live without?

And while you are at it, you may want to read the entire collection on Medium!

Things to do after an event

Backstage, at an event in Amsterdam, Netherlands

After an event is over, irrespective of how it goes, almost all event managers end up depressed after all the adrenaline that an event pumps into their system. I wrote about this last week. Here read it. Quite a few friends from the industry read it. And a handful of those who read it in entirety (it was a long piece at some 2000 words) called to say that they could relate to it, word by word. Of course everyone had a different perspective. This is what makes life awesome – multiple perspectives, multiple personalities, each as different as chalk and cheese.

But then, everyone who called, invariably agreed on one thing. The thing about post-event depression.

And then I thought may be it would be a good idea to explore this depression in little more detail. Actually not depression but things that people do, after an event, to get over their depression. I mean I reckon that most men in jobs that need them to be on their toes all the time (air traffic controllers, stock brokers, doctors in emergency room, event managers et al) must have their respective (may I say quirky?) ways of beating the blues. And since I have an insider’s perspective on events, I can bring to surface things that us event managers do to get back to our feet after a hard hitting blow.

Like the last post, I would stick to just 7 things that event managers do, after a hard and a long day at work comes to an end.

1. Get drunk. Simple. Really. Nothing is as potent as alcohol to loosen you up. I think those taking acting classes must get drunk before they face the camera. Whoever said that alcohol helps lose inhibitions was spot on. Spotter on than the dart hitting the bull’s eye.

So we get drunk after an event. And no sir, since we are the flag bearers of style AND adrenaline, we do not do it at some shady bar. We end up at either the most happening club that that city has to offer, most of the time teeming with teens and other older people who believe that they are still in their teens.

Or we shut ourselves in the confined misery of the expensive hotel room that is not accessible to anyone but the closely knit event team. After all, nothing breeds camaraderie and brotherhood better than a calamity. The decision between that exclusive club or the hotel room is pretty simple. Actually the decision happens by itself, depending on how the event went. No points for guessing where do you go when.

If you go to a club, you will always grind the section that plays electronic music, for you are an event manager and you ought to like EDM. Everything else is either too boring or too slow for someone who needs a regular dose of excitement. If you voice your dislike for EDM you may be thrown out of the company. You dare not.

Oh, you “check-in” on Facebook places AND on Foursquare. And tag everyone else present at the club with you. More importantly, Like and Comment on the check-ins of your colleague who borrowed your phone a while back, to register his check-in at the location. You see, we love spreading love. And this love-spreading is like a ritual that we hate to break. An event company without rituals is like a human without a soul. Yes sir. There. I said it.

And coincidence, love also brings me to the next thing that event managers do after an event. When I say next, these things are NOT in any order fyi.

2. Try and find love. Like drinking, we have two distinct places where we hunt for love. Either we KNOW, for sure, that that performer (read dancer, manager of a celebrity that we hired, singer, crew member, DJ’s friend etc) is the end of our long and torturous search for true and eternal love. If not that (all such potential ~~targets~~ loves are “taken” by your seniors or they are too cute for you to have any chance with them), you simply scourge the red light districts. Especially if you are from India.

You see, despite coming from the holy land of KamaSutra, true unconditional love (read sex) is something of a taboo in India. Yes, even if you are married or going steady or into a secret live in relationship.

So, if you are from India and you are managing an event at the likes of Thailand, Russia, Netherlands and other such liberal countries, you do not miss any opportunity to scoot to a “legal” club. I am using the word club for the lack of a better word. Is there one? I can call my mom and tell her that I am at a club and she would be as care free as if I am at a temple. Its a temple after all. Temple of love.

Love, you thought was that item dancer that you accosted for three days, that you got coffee for (from local Starbucks), that you took for long walks along the beach and that you paid for a meal consisting largely of raw fish eaten with thin sticks, at the most expensive Japanese restaurant in the town (and you are a vegetarian come to think of it). And you knew you loved her, till you see her cooing blissfully with your boss.

And then what do you do to get over the depression (of the event and the love betrayed by the dancer)? You goto the temple of love. To find your true love, that can not last longer than two hours, because you would be tired of all the action. And what do you do when you are tired? Sleep!

Sleep in next in my list, list of things that we do after an event.

3. Sleep. Yep. We are boring people. Really we are. And since our job requires us to be on our toes all the time, we hardly manage any sleeping running up to the event. So when you get over the event, get into you room, to take a shower before you head out, do NOT look at the bed. The thing with these beds at expensive hotels is that, more often than not, they have these white sheets that are as inviting as true unconditional love is.

You know that if you get between those sheets, you could disappear from the face of this world. You would then be by yourself, along with your depression. Its a sure shot way to get over it – by drowning so deep in your sorrows that every other problem (negative feedback from client, betrayal from that item dancer, lost opportunity to scalp a couple of Euros from the production money etc) seems trivial.

Sleep is like a superpower. You’ve always had it but it takes a jolt, a shock, for you to realize that you posses it. And then once you become aware, you use it to your advantage and use it to save the world (by not firing your light engineer because light was too harsh and was right into the eyes of the client, by not giving a piece of your mind to that item dancer for her betrayal, by not putting in your papers because your boss is being an asshole for no reason etc).

Of course there are days when sleep in far. Even though you have tried hiding in the sea of tender white foam sheets. You dont want to the step out either (because you couldn’t scalp some money of the production budget). So what do you do?

Use the bathtub! Next on my list.

4. Use the bathtub. That bathtub in the fancy hotel room that you were booked by the client, has been inviting you ever since you came in. Its been four days and you’ve hardly had any time to sleep, leave alone a shower. And now that event is over and there is nothing to do and everyone else is either getting drunk or hunting for their love or sleeping, you fill the tub up, make some lather, get a beer and just lie down in the tub.

Ideally you would have your true love in the tub with you but since today you are out of luck you just make use of your fantasies. No, no, not those fantasies. But fantasies of owning your own event company some day. Yes ladies and gentlemen, every event manager worth his salt wants to own an event company at some point in life. Sooner the better. And since he has been managing events for so long, he knows that he can trust a couple of his clients to give him work to get started.

So you drown in your fantasies, in your bath tub. And since fantasies don’t really last long, it gets boring to just soak into water, you login to Facebook and start Like-ing and Comment-ing on check-ins that your colleagues posted a while back, from the most happening club of the town. And you curse them for not even mention-ing you in their posts. If you do get bored of that as well, of course you could read this series of posts (shameless plug) but you may find these too hard hitting and you may want to ignore these.

And you put your favorite music in background to help you relax. Music and beer. Mmmm.

5. Dance. Ever heard a drunk man dancing naked next to the bath tub? Well, I have had the pleasure of stumbling into bathrooms with such men least thrice in last three years. Averaging one per year, I would say its not a rare occurrence. Diwali happens once a year and its certain that it will come around each year. And I am sure I would stumble on more drunken revelries of the “free” kinds near the bathtub sometime soon, for its been some 8 months since the last incident.

And even if we dont dance in the bathtubs, we do shake a leg at that expensive club. Just that at those clubs, chances of finding better dancers are slightly higher and we detest competition of any kind.

We would rather not do it, than compromise on quality and output. Wait, is that line even valid here? It may not be. But its the safest line that we can rattle out in even our dreams when anyone talks about competition or money. Money? We would rather not do it, than compromise on quality and output.

Get the point?

No? You think its a gamble that you are taking by paying us so much?

So much?

We would rather not do it, than compromise on quality and output.

Ok ok! Fine I’d gamble.

Gamble? You too? Its next on the list of things that we do after an event to get over the depression!

6. Gamble. We are men of vice. We are vice-er than the vice-est of them all. And they say, there is no vice like gambling. Thing with gambling is that it gives you an opportunity to get over your sorrows by fast wins. And along with the opportunity to get even more adrenaline in your system. And these wins are tangible. You can hold them in your hand. Or put them in the bank. Or spend those wins to get you more love, more alcohol and more sleep at an even more expensive hotel.

Wins also make you the celebrity that you have always craved to be. All your life you have seen film stars, businessmen, politicians, cricketers, speakers from very close quarters and you secretly wish to be like them. You want to get phone calls at 3 in the night from random people. You want to be stalked. You want ~~police protection~~ bodyguards. You want it all. And since you cant sing or dance or speak or hit the ball as cleanly as Sachin can, you cant really get famous. You can only hope that you win so much money at the casino that the casino is forced to give you a security cover that make your celebrities envious of your stature.

And most importantly when you win, you can then go to the item dancer, ask her to perform exclusively for you and you can ask her boyfriend to manage THAT event. Figure it out. Exclusive event for an event manager, managed by the manager that event manager reported into, where the only performer is someone that the manager managed till a while back.

But then thats not how life operates. Does it?

In real life, rather than winning truck load of money, you end up losing your one year’s savings. Because you knew last year that the client you manage will host their next event at Amsterdam, you saved for one full year to get that one shot at freedom, richdom and celebritydom. And there you are, all your money, now in pocket of, who else, the item dancer, who also likes to dabble into casinos when she is not having coffee or Sushi. You swear to never buy any other dancer any coffee. Life is after all about lessons learnt hard. And you also promise to yourself that when you own your event company, you would not give any work to that dancer.

And when you have lost all your money and hope, there is nothing left but to go back to your hotel room and write about your day.

Did I say write? Do event managers and writing coincide?

7. Write. Yep. We are not merely about yelling out loud in the walkie-talkies or reading from run-orders or saying yes to every demand from the client. We are lot deeper. We are better than your average Joes. We have emotions. We have perspective. And better still, we love to put them forth on paper. In black and white. Mostly on hotel stationary (and sometimes on the Internet as well).

And you must thank heavens that everything we write does not come out in open, especially what we wrote after we were drunk and we were betrayed and we lost money at casinos. If any of it was in open, the world would be a far worse place than what it is. After all we are privy to everything that goes behind the scenes in the entertainment industry, travel industry, hospitality industry, across international borders, offices of local administration and most potent of them all, our client’s organizations.

We have more dirt than Paparazzi, NSA, Wikileaks and Baba Ramdev put together. And we have more means to spread it than India TV, Rajeev Masand, Arnab Goswami and Narendra Modi put together.

Just that we use discretion while making our thoughts public. Of course there is a little matter of saving our jobs but thats trifle considering a good event manager is always in demand. Dont believe me? I have been offered thousands of jobs and I have made millions since I quit my job a month back.

No, serious!

In the end
Thats it. Thats all we do after an event is over. No one talks about it. Because we wants things here and we want them now. After an event is over, the event manager is left to fend for himself. Someone had to talk about it.

And a disclaimer to end it all, if you are a prospective employer or girlfriend or bride (or a dancer, only if you are vegetarian). Even though I know colleagues who do all of the above, in one night, I am slightly boring. After an event, all I do is item N3. And at times 7. And nothing else.

Believe me.

And thanks to DJ Killa for the post idea. And, you, drum roll, hope this is not apologetic?

Originally posted here.

Occupational hazards of being an event manager

Last three years, apart from dabbling into other small time things, I spent most of my time as an event manager. And as an event manager I planned, executed and managed events of all sizes. From audiences as small as 5 guests to crowd as big as 20,00,000 over a period of five days, I managed it all.

So first things first. Unlike other “office” jobs where you are supposed to just play the role of an email jockey, you need to be out there on the ground and be a live witness to all the “action”. In most cases, rather than being a mere witness, you end up being part of the “crime scene”. I did not mind any of this action; on the other hand, I loved being at the middle of all these crime scenes. And more time I spent in the middle, more time I wanted to spend. It was like an addiction. The way you get addicted to dope, I was getting addicted to spending time running shows and getting things in place.

Panorama, from an iPhone,of an event that I managed last year

Now that I am not actively working on events and I have time to zoom out and look at my time as an event manager. And I realized a few truths about myself. And most of them can easily be classified as occupational hazards!

Here’s is a quick list.

1. You learn to live with a perpetual depression. I dont know about others but after every major event where the event ends on a high with dinner, I get majorly depressed. I get sad. So sad that I want to bury myself neck deep in sand somewhere and not do anything. Not even sleep, sleep anyways wont come because you are so high on adrenaline after an event well done. You just lie on your bed, staring at the ceiling and waiting for a kick in the butt.

And I can clearly see a pattern. Every time, without fail, after an event, I get into a major depression. Most of my colleagues get drunk after an event and by the time they wake up next morning, the previous evening is all foggy and I suspect that leaves no room for depression. But for a teetotaler like me, events can be hazardous. The very thought of writing this post came to me after a large event that I did a few weeks back. Never got around to writing this that time.

Funny, while I write this, I can sense a tiny amount of depression creeping up on me, for, I haven’t really been at the center of action for some time now. Its one of those things, you cant live with or live without.

2. You get addicted to a state of constant excitement. Ever read about junkies, alcoholics and gamblers? Why do they keep going back to their poison? Not that someone forces them to. They crave for the rush that they get from that next injection or that next vodka shot or that next bet of a thousand bucks. The outcome is not important. What is important is living in the moment. The moment when that drug hits your blood stream, or when all the attention of other gambler is on you and you are supposed to bet a lot of money. That rush. You get addicted to it. You know its taking you on a downward spiral but we are humans. We give more importance to immediacy. We want things now. There is no time for later. We can deal with consequences later. Time is unlimited. We would fix. But right now, let me order just one more peg, play one more hand, do another event.

You get the drift? Ok, compare it to driving an open top car at high speed on a long road without any bends. You can see mountains in the distance and there is no trace of humanity on your right or your left. Its you, the road, the open roof car and that wind in your hair (even if you are bald). Or compare it to writing. Like when words magically appear on your screen without you planning for those words. When a small note expands into a long narrative. When you forget that you had to meet the love of your life for breakfast and you cant not go to meet her. You dont want to stop the dance your fingers are doing on the keyboard? You cant decide. That!

And if you dont get the drift, try stopping an alcoholic friend from his next outing and ask him to explain. He may do a better job.

3. You become superstitious. I am the kinds who thinks that the concept of God is created and popularized by weaker people. Yeah, judge me. And yet, before every event, I do my bits of stupid rituals to ensure that event goes well. I know that I have done my homework well and I have planned for contingencies. I know that I have backup of the backup of the backup and I have my entire team on standby. I know that there are way too many variables than I can not control and yet I am prepared for every eventuality. But then I want that extra element of help. Like the weaker people that I spoke about. I want the event to go well. So what do I do? I create my rituals. And I participate in them religiously, despite no apparent evidence of those rituals of being any help.

What rituals you may ask? There are plenty. The evident ones are bowing and saluting to the stage where the speaker would talk from, apologizing to my crew in advance for eventual outburst of profanities and emotions while the event is running, holding onto my breath when an AV is beaming on screen.

Thankfully this superstition did not transition from an event day to my daily life. Actually I dont know if it has transitioned. Did I bowed reverently to a car before I starting driving. Or did I pray to water god before my dip in the pool? I dont remember. I’d take note next time.

4. Blatant disregard for hotels and their opulence, grandeur and snobbery. And of other such fancy places (office complexes, expensive malls etc). Since my work often required me to walk into these places at all hours and in all states of dress (and undress, shabbily dressed etc), I got used to hostile glares from hotel staff. At first it is intimidating but then you get used to it to a point that you enter in the Dont Give a Fuck Mode and you start operating on auto pilot. This disregard has stayed with me even after I stopped working on events and that is why I am perfectly comfortable walking into a five star lobby with broken bathroom chappals and tattered clothes.

Of course your very presence makes other patrons uncomfortable, but then like Col. Jessep’s “…sleep under the blanket of very freedom that I provided...”, I provide these patrons with an opportunity to enjoy an active social life by planning and executing an impeccable event.

So, I believe that I am justified in the disregard. Of course there are causalities but then which battlefield does not have em?

5. Sleep deprivation becomes your secret superpower. Most people, when sleep deprived, cant think straight. I, on the other hand, thanks to my stint as an event manager, am totally comfortable with less than four hours of sleep every day. In fact ability to operate efficiently even with few hours of sleep is like my superpower that most people dont have. You see, I did not work for a big company and we did not have events everyday but there is so much happening all the time that you ought to be on your feet all the time. And since its a small company, you are expected to do everything at the same time and don multiple hats. Some may argue that its about managing time well but trust me its not. You have to be physically alert. All the time. And that means, no sleep.

In fact, a confession. I miss this secret superpower more than anything else now that I am not working on events. I need my ten hours of sleep now and the day I dont get my ten hours, I am drowsy and I am irate. I just need to get the sleep mojo back. How?

6. Family becomes a set of acquaintances and friends become strangers. Being an Indian, two most important sets of people in life are my family and my friends. But then thanks to my role as an event manager, there were months when I just did not see my family. I would leave home at wee hours and return at an ungodly hour. I would see them in various states of drowsiness, to unlock doors for me, to pack lunches, breakfasts for me, to ask me about medicines that I may need because I have been tired and working constantly.

Friends and notion of friendship is probably hit harder. You live in the same house with your parents (even at 30, we are Indians) but friends live at some distance. And they have their respective jobs. So when you meet your friends after a few fortnights you dont even know what to talk about. That silent camaraderie that you felt when with friends, its suddenly missing. You can no longer relate to them. Things that made you laugh with them, they dont seem funny no more.

I dont have a girlfriend so I dont know how being an events manager affects your love life. Any opinions on that? I do have sgMS (ok, not her but just her thoughts) but I think my job just got me lot more closer to her – I would constantly think about her and try and guess how would she react to a certain thing, what part of my job would make her happy, so on and so forth.

7. You become an overpaid coolie. You need to work on events at different cities and countries. That means you get to travel to all these places. For someone like me who loves to travel, its a great thing to happen. But then like most travel for work, you are restricted to certain places.

There are times when I have been to really exciting destinations in different counties and all I have done is checked-in at the airport (on the foursquare app) and the hotel where I am supposed to get the event done. I dont even step outside the hotel. Most people would be ok and content with just the foursquare checkin at the airport and hotels but I am slightly old fashioned. I believe that there is so much more to a place than the airport or the hotel.

And when you are in a new city for a few days, its all easily accessible. You just need to step out. I mean you travel all the way to Sydney from Delhi and all you do there is spend four nights in a hotel. You dont even step out of the periphery of the hotel. And stuck in your room on the 34th floor, you think of all the great things that Sydney is famous for. And then you start cursing your luck. And you forget that you are luckier than most other people you know of in life and yet you are complaining and whining.

You know, its like a lot of foreplay but no action. And then the craving
for action, in terms of exploring the city you are in, is no less than
craving for action after a prolonged foreplay. If you know what I mean.

Oh, did I use the word coolie? Because while I am traveling for events, I am expected to manage and carry all the equipment and other things that an event may need. Often translates into 300 KGs of material. And all airlines hate you for that. So much so that now that I am not an event manager, they still shoo me to a distant counter that is reserved for lowly people, like event managers!

Ok, this is about it. Though, when I started writing this, I thought that the list would be longer. I was so wrong. Do you have any more things to add here? What do you think are occupational hazards of being an event manager?

And before I end this, standard disclaimer. I have worked for some seven years now and have worked for a global MNC, a start up, an advertising agency apart from an events company. And trust me, there is no job like running a show. The kind of faith your clients exhibit in you, the kind of things you do that you thought you couldn’t, the amount of quick thinking that you get attuned to, the rush, the excitement, its something that no other job in the world can give you.

I think if the book I am working on does not happen by the end of this year, I would be back at running around running shows.

Just hope, I get the damn naukri. Wish me luck.

First posted on Medium here.