Category: Book 2

Introducing #1000WADv3

Today on, I am starting #1000WADv3. 1000 words a day, version 3.

In simple words, I will write 1000 words EVERY day for the next 100 days (at least) without fail. In case you want me to email you when I publish the post, let me know and I will add you to the list. There are 4 people on the list already. The day I dont write, I’d donate 1000 bucks to my poker kitty. Sidenote: I did something similar about #book2 and I never got around to keeping my word. Let me take this up in a bit. 

So, lately I have been super busy with work and travel and shifting the house. And as a result, I havent been reading, havent been writing, havent been exploring ideas, talking, meeting new people, growing or anything that has made me who I am. So, there is this void in life. I am not happy – I mean I am happy most days, most times. If I look back at this phase of life ten years from now, I will consider myself happy. But that thing, that magic that we seek from life is missing. I cant put a finger to it but hope you guys get the drift.

Anyhow, so, I need to reclaim life and what better way to do so than getting back to writing? For as long as I can remember, writing has given me pleasure and I’ve never had any issues with churning words — I am very fast writer — but I have had issues with sitting down to write.

I have had phases where I’ve written for days non-stop and then there have been phases where I havent written a single word (this one for example – the last time I wrote, it was septemberthe23rd. Almost 15 days, if not more. If I were Suketu Mehta, it makes sense to not write for this long. But I am not. Thing is, it takes serious effort for me to write something that is half-decent. And unless I write copious amount of words, I wont be able to leave behind a body of work that keeps me alive after I am gone.

Wait! Do I want to leave something behind? Something to be around when I am gone? I dont know. As I grow older, I feel that the impending end of time is closer than ever and the reality has started to hit home. No, I am not scared. No, I am not suicidal. No, I am not depressed. Its just that with every passing day the frivolity of life is getting more evident (may be its all the reading around death that I am onto lately – When Breath Becomes Air, Chasing Daylight, what else can I read?). Its disappointing that you live through all these years, hoping to make a dent in the universe and in the end it amounts to nothing. There is no grand plan. There are no white lights at the end of the tunnel. All is useless.

Except…

Except things that keep you going, before you die.

For example, something that you are attached to. People in most cases. Family, friends etc. I live away from my folks and I hardly have any friends per se. Or for example routines, things, disciplines, beliefs that you get attached to. You get so attached that you want to live forever on one end of extreme. And you want to kill (or even get killed) on the other. Religion is a case in point. Or may be the blinding chase of a passion project that wakes people up in the morning and like Warren says, makes people tap dance to work. There is no passion project for me except writing. There are few other things that I want to take up but I am not consumed by those yet. For example, there is this thing in my head where I want to impact a large subset of humanity but I have no clue how to go about it.

Even with writing, because of all the useless action around me, I have been postponing writing. Actually come to think of it, since I can remember I have postponed things, procrastinated to the next minute. Next hour. Next day. Next month. Next year. All the time keeping things pending for the tomorrow that would be brighter and better and see me more richer, more famous, more comfortable and God knows what all. Funny thing is that, none of it is true. Tomorrow is as useless as yesterday is. The worst thing you could do, ever, is to put things off to tomorrow. Of course, there is a “right time” and there are things that require deliberate practise before you master them – say, learning guitar, or running a marathon. Its ok to invest time to learn things. But the lessons can NOT wait. You have to do them while you are awake. There is jack shit on the other side of the sleep.

The point is, the “better” world is not coming anytime soon. Ever. All you have is today. The now. You cant fuck the tomorrow for whatever may be trying to fuck it for you. You’ve got to be that unstoppable force that is willing to collide with an immovable object. I’ve learnt that friends often arent around when you need them most, families tend to engage in petty politics more than they care for you, bosses and colleagues tend to be assholes. The day you are getting late, you will get red light on each intersection. Shit goes wrong. Whatever can go wrong will go wrong. Of course there are exceptions but you cant let anything affect the steady rock in your head. Funny that the person with mood swings larger than the Foucault’s is talking about being stable. Being sane. Being immovable. Gyaan is easy. No?

But, as I go along, I will make sure I become stable. I dont know what could help. But there has to be something.

I think it all starts with one small thing – the resolve to do things now. Keyword is Now. Its ok to make mistakes. Its ok to pay for action. Action trumps everything else. And things = writing, getting out of the bed, putting on those running shoes, saying no to that last piece of jalebi and so on and so forth. Action. Things. Now.

And to kickstart one of the things, I promise that I will write 1000 words a day. For the next 100 days atleast. Follow me as I do this. Help me do this. Reprimand me if I falter. And may be, just may be, take up the challenge? 1000 words a day for you too? Or may be 10000 steps a day? Or something else that you thought you wanted to do but havent had the time to?

Oh, one more thing. This one, on promises.
So, through my life I have made promises and more often than not, I tend to deliver on those promises. But lately, since I’ve got busy with things, I havent kept my word. I have promised things and I havent delivered. With clients, friends, colleagues, people etc. I even made a similar promise about #book2 and I did not keep it. And it sucks! I want to avoid this suckiness in my head as I go along. I want to sleep in peace at night.

I know I cant fix what is broken but going forth, I will not make promises that I cant deliver on. My word has to become Gold standard. People have to put enough faith in me. All that will happen if I start delivering. Most times I do. But then I need to aim for perfection and ensure that I deliver on EVERY promise. My zubaan has to be respected. After all zubaan is what makes the world go around. I am nothing if I cant keep my word.

As I start afresh, the first promise going ahead, is to write 1000 words a day. Starting today. Godspeed Mr. Garg.

Untitled – Aug, 2016

So, I haven’t written on my blog in a while. Its been more than a month! Actually I’ve been super busy lately and to be honest I am liking this busy-ness. Am making (some) money, am (almost) independent, (I think) am taking calls that I’ve never taken before, I control the output, I am travelling (within India) and so on and so forth. This is the closest to Kwan (Love, respect, community and the dollars) that I’ve ever been. After about 33 years of living, I feel alive. Well, excuse the hyperbole but you get the drift. 

Coming back, even though I have been busy, I had to take out time to write this post. Its been some time that I’ve written and I don’t like the feeling. There is this emptiness in me that I dont know how to tide over. The same emptiness that shrouds me when I havent spoken to her for a while. If not for this emptiness, in the current life, if I could make more money, have a little more impact, get time to write, pick a hobby (guitar), get fitter (yoga, running, hiking) and make meaning, I’d be a happy man. 
Actually I dont have much to complain about. I am sorted for the time being and I just need to keep doing this well and hope I get all that I want someday. 
The other thing that has happened in the last few days is that I got myself an Air. And its such a brilliant machine that my productivity has gone up by at least 10 times. I wonder why did I not buy this sooner. Have to have to learn the importance of investing in self. I need to revisit Rich Dad Poor Dad. 
While am talking of investing on self, I want to talk about the place I live at – Bandra. In a dilapidated building full of old people. In a house that need maintenance. And not just a coat of paint kinds. But the kinds where you tear down the walls and erect it foundation up. 

Taking up this house has been the worst decision of my life (except may be moving away from Mumbai the first time around). And not a day goes by when I dont regret the decision. The good bit is that the lock-in period for the lease is getting over in another month or so. That means I can change the house. And when I do, I will ensure that I get a fancy place – even if I have to pay extra.

Of course I can crib about the fact that I have to hop from house to house and all that, while all my friends and their friends and their pets and everyone else in the world have houses worth crores. But thats not the point. The point is that I need to change this place. In an ideal world, I would move into a place of my own, do it up the way I want (minimal) and then keep it spic and span and airy and all that. In one line, make the place has to be inspiring.

In fact I am going to blame the delay on #book2 to lack of inspiration caused by the fuckall place I live at. Of course it’s a lame excuse but I sincerely couldn’t write. I go back and I am fighting the pests, spiders, crows, leaking faucets, the AC that doesn’t work, noise from the street and all that. Of course the ones who really write can write anywhere, under any duress and all that. But not me. I need the perfect setting, the table, the temperature etc etc. I have these amazing walls built about me! Thing is, it is depressing to even go back to the house.

Now you know why I spend so much time in office (yes, I have an office – actually it’s a seat that I’ve borrowed from a friend who’s made my life infinitely times better in the past few months) and you know why I dont invite you home. I am embarrassed about it. Had it been a shack, I wont mind showing it off, hell I pimp my poverty all the time. But this place, its like pseudo – everyone thinks Bandra is a cool place but no one gets to the underbelly. You know what am saying?

Ok, need to change the rant about the house. Lemme rant about something else. The other day I was thinking that most pieces on my blog are longish pieces of depressing content. I mean the last few posts are about how I am alone, an attempt to make friends, cribs about work. Essentially, I am discussing people. They say, bad people discuss people, good people discuss things and great people discuss ideas. I think I read this when I was very young but the lesson has stayed with me. To the extent that all my life I have tried to discuss ideas and not things or people. One of the reasons I have no clue about politics, relationships, gossip etc. My EQ, I think is zero, if not negative. May be going forward I will try and post ideas and their implication. But then, am human and I want to be able to vent out and in absence of friends, I don’t know how else do. See the paradox?

Where does all this lead to? I don’t know. But I do know that its awesome to have written after so so many days. Thats the point of a blog. You write for yourself. And to end this, some days back, I came across “ना सम्मान का मोह , ना अपमान का भय” on FB wall of Udita, one of the early readers of #tnks. And I’ve been blown apart since. Its such a simple statement and yet it says so so much. Exactly the kind of writing that I hope I can pull off some day. I sincerely wish she makes me her शाग़िर्द some day. Till then, over n out.

Untitled – May 14, 2016

Yet another in string of long-time-no-post zones (last post was 20+ days back). Need to write more and do more. More on the more bit in a bit. Wah wordplay ;P

So there are quite a few things I want to talk about in this post – after all been sometime since I posted. And beware, this will be a longish one. In case you want to read. Get a coffee maybe?

P.S.: If you do read these posts, please please do tell me. I need to know if you do. I am actually thinking of writing a monthly newsletter to people who care (and to people who I want to care for me). Let’s see what I do about it. But do let me know if you want to receive it. Here is a form that you may use.

Without further ado, rants for the day…

A. Work
So work is going ok. In 3 short months since I started (and 15 long months since I quit my last full-time job), I’ve seen ups and downs already. I have won clients, lost clients, clients have disappeared, someone has taken money and not delivered and everything in between has happened. I’ve been lucky and I’ve been unlucky and nowhere else has “this too shall pass” been so accurate!

I am actually making decent money (though I need to make a lot more and I define decent as being able to pay for expenses at home and yet having something in the bank) and doing some ok work. Need to upgrade what I do and make more more than decent. Of course its tough.

Decent is happening because am juggling two things and it’s not easy. No, I am not saying this because I want this to be glamourous about what I do. But because I love both things. I can’t choose one over another. Call it lack of focus but I can’t. One is live experiences (events, travel, adrenaline rush) and Two is communication (brands, behavioural science, communities, platforms, social, networks, people and such). I wish there was a way to marry the two.

To do more than decent, I will have to put more than decent effort.

Anyhow. The point is not work. The point is that I am now seeing my limitations as an individual and as a professional. I’ve always taken pride in being the supercool and super-great guy who can do everything but now I am realising that I am not as cool as I think I am. Lemme give an example.

I have realised that I am super good (may be even great) with getting things done. I am a great manager and I can deliver. But I suck at ideas. And I suck so bad that I can’t crack new clients if I dont take external help. Funny because I believe that no one wants brilliance with ideas – they rather want predictability in delivery. But then to be able to get the client on your side, you need to show your prowess with ideas. And I suck at it. It’s almost like a vicious circle. Almost. But it is.

I spoke of this problem to friends and mentors. I was told to hire talent. But who would want to work for a nameless, directionless dude like me? I haven’t won any awards, I have no portfolio to show (which clients are also surprised about – after all I’ve been a pony all my life and haven’t done any award winning work), I have no contacts in the industry, I dont inspire people. I can’t mentor. I can’t teach. I dont offer any reason to anyone to work with me. Unless they are desperate. Or delusional. And no, I cant pay. No I am not whining – just putting facts on paper.

So what is the way out? I dont know! Do you? Help me!

The other example of my limitation is the constant struggle to grow. Thing is, all my life, I’ve worked with agencies with deep pockets (CLA had a rich client when they started, Gravity had years of experience and SWL was profit making). I’ve always had a structure to support me. I was not responsible for paying salaries. This time, there is nothing except the thin air beneath my feet. So that sucks.

There are more things I can talk about that talk about my limitations but guess you get the point. I am not as cool as I think I am. And I need to accept it.

I shall at some point write a longer post about about and my operational issues (BD, Hiring, Delivery etc) and strategic issues (Why am I doing this? What is my objective? What is the big picture? The purpose etc). Some day!

B. Yoga
I restarted Yoga with Shameem. And like last time, shes ensuring that I dont aggravate my hernia. It’s been 5 classes and I know that my body has deteriorated so much in the last year. And more importantly, just like work, Yoga is making me aware of my limitations (the physical / mental / emotional ones).

And it’s humbling to see an old man do asanas with ease and grace while you struggle to even get into the formation. Simple thing like touching the toes without bending the knees seems like a task (and there was a time when I could do it as if I did not have a spine). But I shall get back to shape. I like being active and I need to get back.

So I hope I continue going to her. I know that these are tiny steps towards reaching my #lifeGoals of running a marathon and climbing the Everest. And may be other goals as well!

C. Kindness of strangers
The most recent fan mail for #tnks came from a 70-year old man, a retired banker, from Telangana. He used the kindest words ever and I was so touched, so thrilled that I wanted to get the second book out that day itself. Of course the book is long way from completion but I do aim for a end-year release. Thank you Sir for writing in. Hope I dont disappoint you with Book2.

Then, Rana Sir gave me another advance yesterday. I will use his advance to work on the next book and get the Hindi edition of #tnks out.

Then, last week two people (unrelated to each other) sent me two separate “feelers” about trying to put some sense into me.

First, this lady read the blog and without knowing me personally took pains to write to me to tell me about specific things that she has inferred from the blog. She thinks I whine a lot and I am concerned about my fitness. She may be right about fitness but I sincerely think that I dont whine as much. I could be wrong – lets see. What do you think?

And if I do come across as a cry baby, I need to send out better vibes. I can’t change my situations but I can change the way I look at them (glass half-full). So, thank you N. Hope you see a measurable change in how I write and the vibes I send out. Hope you continue to read. And I will summit the Everest.

The other person sent a longish whatsapp message. Again telling me of things that I need to improve on. I am on it. Thank you A.

D. Travel Book
A new project. I have decided that I will start work on the travel book. With Vivek. He is my travel partner (apart from R & gang and sgMS) and in one of the random WhatsApp conversations it popped up that we ought to do a travel blog together. And here I am. I’ve added it to the list of things to be done in this year. Lets see when we get around to doing it. I suck at travel writing and I know I need to improve on it. It can only happen with practise. I did write one (on Udvada) and I will write more as I start going out to travel. If… if only he finds time to meet me.

So that’s all I have for the day. But before I disappear again, here is a pic that I took at a Starbucks. *drops hint at Vivek*

Over n out!

P.S.: I will try to make the next post soon! Do fill in the form at the top of this page.

Why the fuck…

So it’s been some time since I’ve written. Last post was on Feb 23 – that time I thought I was going to die. But as I’ve found out, I am not! And if I am not dead, why the fuck have I NOT made a post on my blog? Or written anything else? Why am I even alive?

Two weeks. I have no excuse to be honest for not writing. I know I was busy. I know I was travelling. I was unwell. I know I was fucked in the head. But then, that’s no excuse for not writing.

In an alternate universe, in two weeks I could have written 15000 words. And in 6 such two-week pockets, I would have written the next book! Like Charles says…

Source: Unknnow. Found via Google Image Search

Now that we are talking about book 2, ladies and gents, I know its long overdue! It was to hit the stands last december (2015) but I am nowhere close to even completion. I am sure my publisher has given up on me. However from what I hear the first book is no longer hardly available on any of the online bookstores (the wait time to get delivery is 10 days). So the first print run of 2500 is almost over – I guess. So may be there is a reprint sometime in future. Depends on the publisher. Let him take a call. I’ve done my bit by writing it.

Coming to the next book, lately, a lot of people have started to ask me about the status of my next book. May be they genuinely enjoyed the first one. Or they are genuinely concerned about my writing career. Or they dont have anything else to talk to me about. Irrespective, I need to uphold their trust and faith in me. I ought to write. If not for them, then for myself.

So there. I will ensure that the book comes out before end of this year. With or without a publisher. Wish me luck!

Book 2 – Update – Apologies

After the phenomenal success of #tnks, I get a million emails everyday – each asking me about the status of my next book.




When I published #tnks, I promised myself that I will publish one book every year. 2015 was to see my second book. But 6 months in the year, I am not sure if the book is coming out. So, if you are disappointed, I am sorry.

And I promise I will continue to write. I will continue to work on my craft. I will continue to improve my storytelling. And in 2016, I will deliver something that will make you happy. And proud. For sure. I promise.

So the delay is for multiple reasons. Like other things, if you follow this blog, here is a list.


A. My laziness. Writing a book is about discipline. Its about writing 1000 words everyday. At least. And more if you want the book to be interesting. For #tnks I wrote that many words. Every day. For few months. And then there was time I spent on editing. This time around, thanks to my laziness I haven’t written anything per se.

B. Roti, Kapda aur Makaan. You’d know that I refuse to hold a steady job. And I depleted all my savings while I worked on #tnks. So this time around, I have had to put in a lot of time to make enough money to afford the fancy lifestyle I was used to. I know I know. There are people who work three jobs and yet get time to write. Salute to them. I dont have what it takes to do that. I cant live below a certain standard and still write. I am not crazy enough. Yet. May be when I am older.

C. Lack of focus. I have made a gazillion starts and I am not happy with any of those. I even wrote some 20K words for one of the plots but I am not sure I want to tell that story (the one based in Goa). However I now think I have something that I want to write about. Of course I will write crime but not that pop-culture kinds. I want to write serious, western crime. The kinds that gets converted into movies. Lets see if I have it in me. Lets see how it unfolds. Lets see if the story intrigues me enough to make me finish it by end of this year. If you really want to read the next thing, please pray that story keeps me hooked enough. 

D. Lack of motivation. While the response to #tnks to has generally been very encouraging, it hasnt made me a literary star. And I am the kinds who needs external motivation to get things done. I know I like writing and all that but I really needed people to praise me for what I had cooked with tnks. And it hasnt happened. I mean I get fanmail and all that. But the numbers are dismal. The number is far from 1000 true fans that KK talks about. May be it takes time to get to that number of fans. May be not. I will never know. Unless I write the next book. No?

I am sure there are more reasons but I can come up with just these for the time being.

I think what I really need is someone to give me a big fat wad of money so that I may just sit there and write. May be once I get that money, I will become lazier and fatter and not write at all. May be its not about money at all. May be its about that zabardat toofan that I think Faiz talked about? May be. May be not.

Any how, hope you guys dont abandon me after reading this. Like I said before, it’s people like you who support people like me to go forth and chase hard-to-get dreams like writing a book.

Thank you for supporting me.

Regards,
Saurabh Garg
July 2015

Oh, one more thing. The page for Book 2 is up already on FB. To be honest it doesn’t really help but its something that everyone does. And I am not cool enough to not do things that the world does. So, in case you want to “like” it already without seeing the book, please, be my guest!

Thanks!