Coffee Shop

Dear Gloria Jeans Coffee

Dear Gloria Jeans Coffee,

Thank you. Thank you for being rude to my friends and me. Thank you for telling us to leave your store unless we ordered “once every hour”. Thank you for breaking all faith, all trust that you had earned over the years.

I know that you are in the business of selling (often overpriced) beverages and (often bad quality) food to (often) unsuspecting patrons like myself. No, I dont blame you. You are not alone. There are multiple businesses offering exact same thing. In fact one of them is headed towards an IPO! After all the incomes are rising, people have money to spend and we Indians love to go out. I also know that the business requires people to spend long hours and order these beverages and keep the cash register ringing. I also know that there are people like me who sit at your air-conditioned cafes for long hours and keep other ~~patrons~~ customers away.

But then, if the entire cafe was empty and were not preventing any other customers from occupying those empty places. We were not loud. We were not rude. We were not out of place. We merely wanted to sit for sometime to make a presentation that we could take to an investor and raise money for our business. If we could sit, finish the deck and got the money, you could have been part of our story. Just like Starbucks is a part of my first book. Dear Gloria Jeans, you lost the opportunity. In fact, if I dont get the required money from the prospective investor, like a sore loser, I could blame you. No?

You know, I am not really out of place. Between the three of my friends we had ordered food and beverages worth 1200 bucks. Despite that, is it right for you to ask us to “order something once every hour?” May be it is. The place where I come from, we often say, “atithi devo bhava,” the guest is like a God. May be you guys are different.

To be honest, your barista was really courteous during the entire episode. When we asked him why, he told us that “he is questioned” if we sat “idle” and “without a drink” in front of us. Company policy. Sigh! You know Gloria Jeans dear, more businesses have had to shut shop because of these company policies than any other reason.

Of course its your premises and you have the right to refuse admission. But did you refuse admission? No. Did you refuse to serve me? No. Did you throw me out once I gave you money? Yes! At least thats how I felt. And no, I am not exaggerating. And I am not the kinds to crib and rant about businesses unless something really ticks me off. You have ticked me off.

You know, I may not be a celebrity and I definitely don’t have access to television and other such large mediums. And one irate customer cant really do much. Too small and too insignificant. But I can ensure that I never spend any money at any of your outlets anymore. And I can urge all my friends to not visit a Gloria Jeans. Not in Mumbai. Not in India. Not anywhere in the world.

I know, I am too small, too insignificant in the large scheme of things. But then, like Pink Floyd says, we’re all just another brick in the ball.

No?

Anyhow, all the best for your future endeavors. To me it looks bleak. But I have been wrong in the past. I sincerely hope this time I am not.

Regards,
A regular patron who will not spend any money at any of your stores anytime soon.

C. Coffee Shop.

This is the third post in the A to Z Challenge. My theme is my Bucket List. Read more about the project here. The other things on my bucket list are Ancient Ruins and Book.

C is for Coffee Shop. Not a chain. A few outlets maybe.

Let me hazard an opinion. A coffee shop is one of the most important inventions of the current era. Why? Not because they sell overpriced beverages. But because the coffee shops give us those proverbial third places where we all can chill. First place is home, second is office. Third place is an in-between where we could choose to remain anonymous and seek asylum whenever we want. Atleast this is my definition of a third place. Of a coffee shop. This to me like a modern reincarnation of those salons that thrived in the last century.

So, one of the things that I want to do in life before I die, is to be able to create, own, manage and run a coffee shop that is loosely modeled on these salons.

I dont intend to make money off these salons but I want to sort of curate culture and change at these place. And if it could become a self-sustained venture, nothing like it.

Imagine a place where you could go without any inhibitions or any obligations as such. Where you have other great minds to chit chat with, where you could exchange ideas and where you create things. Think of a mashup of a co-working space, a coffee shop, a library, a school, a movie theatre, a laboratory and a barcamp. I would call it Acme Labs (inspired by Pinky and Brain).

Imagine is a place where you could come up with ideas, you could find co-conspirators to work on ideas, you could get an audience to showcase your ideas and then another audience to talk about your journey from ideas to execution to customers.

In fact, the modern coffee stores are very close to my ideas of Acme Labs but then they are for-profit operations and thus they cant allow a lot of freewheeling. I wish they could. I would not move out of such places. I could even live at such places. The other thing with these coffee shops is that they are more of watering holes without alcohol and most banter is social, rather than cerebral.

Anyhow, someday when I have figured out shit in life, I would really want to put money towards creating atleast one such edition of Acme Labs. Its not a question of if. But a question of when. There is no question about that. However, I have a question for you dear reader. Would you want to come to Acme Labs? To have a coffee and get into conversations about ideas? To translate these ideas into great pieces of art or business?

What to order at Starbucks?

The thing is that I love sitting at Starbucks and working on my book.

Even though I am alone when I am there, in my head, I am on a date with Nidhi Kapoor. Or may be with Renu on some days. There are days when I there with Tarana. Like today, I was with Renu and I had a wonderful time.

Coming back, irrespective, there is someone or the other to talk to when I am at Starbucks. I mean someone from my book. A character or two that I have cooked up. And when I am with someone, I love having conversations with them. In fact, conversations with these imaginary characters have helped me write.

Rather than thinking about the next line, I ask Nidhi about it. Or Tarana. Like today I asked Renu about her past and what made her the way she is. She had a lot to say. So much that I had to type fast. Really fast. So these answers from imaginary friends help me write. A friend told me that I am not an inherently creative individual. She may be right but then I think that this superpower that I have to converse with these imaginary characters help me craft what I am working on.

To be honest, the entire Nidhi Kapoor story is a result of these conversations.

The book is coming to an end. About three more days before I finish the first draft. I am hating that the book is coming to an end. I dont know how to keep it alive. Soon, I’d be the saddest and loneliest man that I know of. Why? Because all this while I had company of these three amazing women and in some days, I would be alone.

Guess such is life. But then, there is something that I am looking forward to. The next plot. I am hoping to write this one with a friend. We are still discussing it but if it goes as per plans, it would require me to sit at Starbucks even longer. But, but the challenge is, I do not like coffee. Or the iced-tea. Or anything that has any milk in it. Except ice-cream. I also don’t want to eat any snacky things that they offer at Starbucks; after all I am on a ~~weight~~ inch loss spree and I want to avoid anything that is fattening.

And I don’t want to sit at Starbucks and not buy anything. You see, reciprocity is a brilliant mental model and of all the people I know, I am the most severe case. If I am going to spend three hours everyday at Starbucks, I ought to buy something from them. No?

What do I do? What do I order? Someone help!

Originally posted here.

The best kept secret of Gurgaon: Roots!

Readers of this blog (all two of you) must be aware of my travails with Gurgaon. But then like every cloud that has a silver lining, even Gurgaon has some things that make up for all the hassles and a trip to Gurgaon worth the ordeal. No I am not talking about malls or hotels or that kingdom of watevers. I am talking about places that go under the radar because they are either too small or too simple to get eyeballs. In next few days, I would try and list those.

To start with, lets me talk about the best kept secret of Gurgaon – Roots, the cafe in the park. Roots is located in the premiss of the Rajiv Gandhi renewable energy park, close to the Iffco Chowk Metro Station and is bang opposite the famous Kingdom of dreams. So its very accessible and there is no reason why you shouldn’t spend an evening there.

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Roots is a far cry from those commercial Baristas and Cafe Coffee Days sprinkled all over the country. For starters, the place is ecofriendly and everything is cooked by solar cookers. Then the menu is organic with natural ingredients. It has things like Sarson di roti and makke da saag and Nepali platter, things that you dont really get at most “coffee shops” in India. The staff is very unobtrusive and very courteous and they let you be

And the best part, when you are at Roots, all you can see is a lush green garden, trees, kids on slides and swings and such things. You can not see a single high rise and you can not hear any traffic. The air is clean and fresh. A visit to Roots always, without fail, invigorates the damn soul, if not the mind and heart.

And since its almost a weekend, you must visit this best kept secret of Gurgaon and experience the magic by yourself. And if you do, please share your opinion on it.