Category: Covid-19

Time flies…

Hello! Been a while since I last wrote. Last I wrote was on the last day of the last month.

Time is flying so fast it’s not funny. Last I remember I was sitting down for a session with Anjum Sir to learn about screenwriting (this was on last Sunday) and when I looked at the calendar, I realized its Friday morning! 5 days flew as it if were riding on a HummingBird or whatever is the fastest bird that you know of! I did not move an inch on things that I was supposed to work on. I did not read a damn thing. I did not listen to a single podcast. I did not write the logline for #book2. I did not try to eat less or workout more. I was fucking vegetating.

I know time goes by faster if you are old but I did not know it would be this fast. No wonder old age sucks! You have less time left to live and that too goes past by fast! As double a whammy as you can imagine. 

I think its also a function of the state of mind you are in. And the last few days have been anything but good. There’s just way too much happening and there’s way too much inaction at the same time. The two ought to be in this harmonious tension if you have to spiral up in life. But in my case, there is no harmony and a lot of tension! And I don’t know what to do to get out of this whirlwind. And you know that pride that I hold dear to me? That is letting me not seek help. The thing is, I dont know what help I need! 
Anyhow. Sob story. 
Let’s talk of more urgent matters. Health. So, if you are a reader here, you would know of my ambitions to do things like climb the Mt. Everest, run Marathons and all that. I want to add a few things to the list. To start with, I want to be able to do a few push-ups or chin-ups. Right now, I am unable to do even one. Like other things, it’s a function of time, practice, and persistence. The three things that I don’t have. Plus health is a function of a lot of other things – sleep, diet, discipline et al. Again, I am not the best case study when it comes to these. I have started a million times in the past and failed at each attempt. To a point that I’ve even ended up unwell as a result of these trials. 
The point? Starting today I am going to try all over again. The fitness bit I mean. The easy things are diet and sleep. I will get back to low-carb, IF today on. And try for a 7-hour sleep routine. Lemme report back in a week and see if I see any change in myself. 
Till then, over and out 🙂 
Previous posts that I wrote during the lockdown are – 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 10, 11, 19, 30, 32, 34, 35, 37, 39, 45, 47, 57, 63, 64, 69

Growing Old Sucks!

Day 64 of lockdown

Day 70 something
Wow! Time flies! I remember talking to a friend way back in Jan if she thinks that COVID would hit India hard. She said that she thinks it’s like the flu and there are hardly any repercussions for India. And then she said that India would be left untouched as COVID seems to be spreading in a narrow band of weather. Of course, since I like to follow some smart people, I took her advice and decided that I don’t want to be an alarmist. And then I forgot about it. 
Fast forward to today. 
We are on the 70th day of lockdown and quarantine and there is no sight for an opening up, at least, in Mumbai. Other parts, if I hear my friends and connections right, have opened up. I mean the government has not allowed things to open but most people are out and about. Public memory is incredibly short unless you are a celebrity 😀
Anyhow. So, I want to rant about something that I don’t know who to talk to about. Growing old. And things that are changing in me as a result of this ‘coming of age’. 
Of course I am the biggest ageist I know of. All my life I have wanted to achieve things at a young age and of course I have failed at achieving any sort of success, irrespective of the metric you look at it with. The fears that I had when I was young have started to come true. Unlike my 25-year old self, I can no longer multitask. There was a time when I could juggle a million balls in the air and continue to add more balls. All the while balancing myself on a Yoga ball that is perched on a chair with one leg moving on a rollercoaster that is still functioning even when there’s this biggest earthquake ever happening. Oh, I’d be sipping on to a can of Coke while that was happening. You know what I am saying? 
Now, at 37, I can NOT multitask. If I am writing this piece and there is some music playing in the background, I am distracted! To a point that I lose the chain of thought and what would take me normally 15 minutes to write, I take like an hour and a half to get out of my system! 
I know humans are not programmed for multitasking but I think I was wired differently and I could! I took pride in it. I could see that all the madness that I had surrounded myself with, was fed by the aforementioned million balls! It served me well when I was younger. Now, it’s becoming an impediment! Even simple phone calls with people distract me so much that I can’t recall conversations unless I take notes. And hence, I have started to take an insane quantity of notes. So much so that I need a person to manage those! 
The other thing that I was renowned for was my attention to detail. I was aware and I was perceptive. When I was juggling all those balls, I would know the colors of those balls. I would know about the scale of the earthquake and the trend line. I could count the pars of udti chidiya. I was the kind that would know the number of the cab I was in, the color of undies of everyone in the room, number of slides remaining in a presentation, and even the ongoing count of typos in a piece. And other such insignificant details! Nothing would escape my keen gaze. I was the one that checked and rechecked all copy before things had to ship! 
Now, I cant. I don’t even know what I had for lunch the previous day. The memory is atrophying. Fast. More than that, attention is waning all the time. Like I am writing this, I am listening to a track and missing yet another track! Oh, any as I swapped the tab to change the track, I lost some 20 mins there. Sigh. 

The last thing that I want to talk about is that patience levels seem to be decreasing. I was the kind to be able to handle all sorts of muck thrown at me with a smile. But then age happened and the patience levels hit the rock bottom. To a point that in case a call that was planned for 8 AM does not start by 7:59 AM, I get jittery and sad and angry and scary and all that. I start screaming at people. And when I am reminded that the call was at 8 AM, I apologize so profusely that I spend the entire time on finding novel ways of apologizing to everyone who was cool enough to log in a minute before the call! 

And the last thing? You become abrupt with shit! Like this post. I am going to leave it here. See you guys on the other side. 

Chalo till next time. 

Over and out,

– The Old SG. 

Previous posts that I wrote during the lockdown are – 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 10, 11, 19, 30, 32, 34, 35, 37, 39, 45, 47, 57, 63

Hello, Boy!

I don’t know what day of the lockdown is it today. I am guessing 45. But it could very well be 44. Or 46. For all I care. You know, the days seem to be blurring into each other and things seem to be losing their meaning. Most people I know seem to be ok with it. You know, they’ve made peace with this idea of staying indoors. And why not? At least the circles I move in, these people have relatively comfortable homes (not houses), a steady paycheck, a family to bank on, and limited things that they’re worried about. And these are things like where would I get that next bottle of Black Label from. Or where do I get that Parmesan Cheese from, you know, Nature’s Basket is closed! 

Yeah yeah, I sound a tad jealous. And truth be told, I am. Jealous as fuck! To a point that I am questioning the choices that I’ve made in life.  The path I am on. The journey I’ve taken. Of course, I don’t know where I would end up (if there is any ending up… I mean it could all be over before I know it…). And all I would leave behind is this collection of rants that no one would be interested in. 
But then, today is not about this jealousy. But about something else. About being a man. And not a boy.
When this lockdown started, inspired by a quip from Neo, I decided that I will take this opportunity to get some large things done – write my book2, flatten my belly, get my website up and running, learn new things, think about the future, learn guitar, reskill, fix my posture and I dont know how many more such lofty goals that I am full off. 
And the entire premise was that without any distractions of travel, socializing, and busyness, a real man would be able to put his head down and actually get things done! After all, those are the things that you blame when you can’t do things. 
And I started like I always do. With so much excitement and spring in the step that it would put the fucking bunnies to shame. And then, as time passed, I started to become that person that loves to procrastinate, that allowed the monkey mind to rule my thoughts and got distracted by things like poker, films, and hyperbole. I mean I did EVERYTHING but work on those things that I had to work on. Of course, I did get the website to some semblance of design. I did try my hands at the guitar and I can now play the C chord really well (something that I learned while I was in class 10, around 1997). I did think about the book (I think I made some progress but with each increasing day I am realizing I don’t have the next book in me). In fact, if I can’t get 20K words on book2 in May, I will stop working on it for the foreseeable future. Plus, my work! The most important. The idea was the reskill myself in these 45 days and get employable and survive. But no. Not even the existential crisis is making me move my butt. You know, natural selection? No wonder people like me perish! 
On this 45th day, if I look back, I have little to show for. And I know there is no one out there looking out for things I do and all that, but then there is that wretched mirror. You know the one that shows you who you are? The one that is easiest to fool? And if not that mirror, this blog! 
Get the drift? 
Brings me back to the point with which we started. 
Men. Boys. 
Over and out. 
PS: When I rant like that, please do note that I am not being tough on myself. I am programmed in a way that I like the idea of shooting really really high and then land at a better spot than what I was when I started. So, this is not self-pity or something. But a gentle reminder that I need to do more! 

Previous posts that I wrote during the lockdown are – 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 10, 11, 19, 30, 32, 34, 35, 37, 39

How to spot a bachelor pad?

Day 39 of the lockdown.

Day 45 otherwise.
You know what this lockdown’s doing to me? Making me take note of tiny little things that I have chosen to live with. And yet never realized that I was living with them. You know those things that are all around you. Visible. In plain sight. And you’ve been ignoring those. 
Of course, most of these things are things that have no inherent meaning but once they get added to your life, they start becoming valuable. And with time the value starts to grow. Linearly at first. Exponentially from thereon. And then suddenly, the object that is inherently penniless becomes the most important possession that you have! Like there is this Ganesh figurine I have. KG gave it to me on one of my birthdays. Not that I am religious but I tend to keep it close. And while it was used a paper-weight initially, now it has become this object that I can NOT lose! 
I am sure you have many such things. At your home. And around you. 
And why am I talking about this? 
Well, while I was getting ready in the morning today, I took note of the curtains in the room. There are three curtains and all three are different. One is a plain yellow sheath. The other has a pinkish flowery pattern on it. The third one is a plastic kind of thing with dolphins on it. And while I was seeing that, I was wondering, for someone like me who likes the idea of symmetry and pattern and has an opinion on design, how is that these curtains are so badly mismatched. And then it dawned on me – these were collected over the years. The yellow one is from a time when my sis and I lived together. The pink one I bought for this house – though I don’t know how it ended next to the yellow on. And the dolphins – I don’t even know where it came from. 

When I got looking, I realized most things at my house are such a ragtag bunch of things. I don’t have furniture apart from a table and a bookshelf. Both were acquired at different times and different houses. Have stayed with me. I have two chairs, both different. Again, got at different times. All wardrobes are rented – each looks different from other. The bedsheets and pillow covers are the only upholstery that I have, apart from curtains, and no, these do not match either. 
Everywhere I look in the house, each thing is different from everything else. These don’t fit. Even the best art director in Bollywood could think that a man my age and my taste could have a collection like the one I have. Well, how everyone in the world wants to be unique. Lol! 

Oh, I made a checklist that you can run through mentally to see if a house is a bachelor pad. 

  1. Are the pieces of furniture mismatching? The ones that look as if they’ve been gathered over the years in various stages of life. 
  2. Is the upholstery an assorted collection of colors, patterns, heights et at? Again, they could’ve been acquired over time, at various places that you have lived at.
  3. Is the cutlery in the kitchen not from one set per se? But a collection of souvenirs from places that you’ve traveled to, gifts from friends, and from various events you’ve been to! At my place, out of 7 mugs I have, 5 are from Starbucks, one is from an event that I attended and the last one is I think an ex-girlfriend left behind. 
  4. The electronics (except the TV) would be hand-me-downs and would be in dilapidated condition. After all, these things are not really required. 
  5. The phone charging cable and the adapter would be a mismatch. 
  6. If you get access to wardrobes, the hangars, on which clothes rest would again be an assorted mix. 
  7. There would always be a key with the building security guard if the building has a guard. 
  8. The place may or may not be clean depending on the person occupying the place.
These are the ones that I can think of. What about you? What do you often see at bachelor pads? Pray, tell me, and help me make this sheet exhaustive.
That’s about it for the day! 

Previous posts in the lockdown series are – 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 10, 11, 19, 30, 32, 34, 35, 37

Day 37 of the lockdown

Day 37 of the lockdown.
Day 43 otherwise.


Day 43. Weird sa din. I don’t know if I want to call it a good one. Or a disastrous one. So much happened in the world that is important to me (of course there is this grandness in which I am not even a speck of dust on the infinite timeline that we don’t know about). So, lemme try and talk about those. You know, like dear diary. 
So, here we are…
Since the lockdown started, I have subjected myself to lo-carb food. That means I was eating a lot of pastels – eggs, paneer, tofu, dahi, and other things like that. The premise was that I don’t want to come out of the lockdown looking like a 50-year-old version of me. You know how big an ageist I am. No? 
So I tried to eat “well” and it was well till it lasted. I could’ve gone longer but I was losing motivation with each passing day – I mean I had stopped losing weight and I was actually feeling lazy and lethargic all the time. May be it because that damned AC would not work and I won’t get good sleep? 
Anyhow, so at a whim, last night I decided that I would do a 3-day water-only fast. And it went well for exactly 4 hours after I woke up. And I ended up ordering a Gobhi Parantha. And Rajma Chawal. And yes I ate all of that in like one go. Of course along with re-runs of Taarak Bhai. And I write this, around midnight, I have had this bread-omelet and there is a Maggi that is waiting for me to gobble it up. 
No, I can’t say I felt great about all the carbs that I stuffed myself with. No, I can’t say I feel shitty from the inside (now that my gut is lined up with gully ka tel and I don’t know what quality of rice / Rajma). It’s just a fact worth noting. 
The point of this longish rant? 
40 days of clean eating does NOT help you lose weight! 
At least, it did not help me. 
So that. 
The other that happened today was that the Podium went live on Apple Podcasts. Check it out here. AD and I have been at it since Dec last year. And it finally took so much effort and energy and money to finally get it up. Now the plan is to ramp it up. This is all the more special because after C4E this is the thing where I am attaching my name to. I mean I am as attached to TRS and PPP as Shiks and Prak are attached respectively (and like all the other entrepreneurs I partner with). But Podium is where my whims and my ideas about things will be pushed. The success or failure of the Podium will be my doing. And AD’s. But he is generally supportive of what I do. So that! Oh, thanks are in order for the young team at Podium that is making this happen. 
The other thing that I have been doing lately is that every day at around 6, I take this mini-break from whatever I am doing. Get myself a coffee and something to munch on and sit at this window and stare blankly at the calmness around. And think about things that I cant recall. Matlab meditative trance ;P
Of course, this would be shortlived. Once the lockdown is lifted, the quiet road would turn into this mini-highway where everyone (even the ones without cars) is honking and all that. 
But I like this idea of a quiet moment in the middle of the day. Years ago Guru would tell me that he takes a break every day to go see the sunset from the nearest beach (he lived in Goa back then and I would go all the way there to meet him). Inspired by him, I promise that will find a place where I could have a quiet moment away from humdrum. Around the sunset. And pause. I guess this is why people smoke? A friend says they don’t. I say, they do! What do you think? Do lemme know. I’d love to prove a point to her. 
The last thing that I want to write about is Irrfan. The actor. Though I was not a fan per se and I can’t say I have seen his work but I do remember bits and pieces of Namesake and a lot of things from Haasil. He passed away today and like any celebrity, he got the entire world grieving. And like someone said on twitter, his passing on seems very very personal to a large large number of people. It seems everyone I know has lost a close friend, a confidant at work, a role model that they looked up to, an epitome of talent, and a product of disciplined hard work. I don’t think a lot of people induce such deep reactions from as many people as Irrfan did. And not one has had any trace of negativity! Says a lot about the man!  
I don’t know what I could say that’s not been said already. I hope he rests in peace and the ones missing him find closure. 
Brings me to another point. The inevitability of it all. And the shortness of time. And the lesson that I take from each such incident. He was 54 and he apparently had a lot of time up ahead and he was doing great work. And yet he is gone. To never come back. Reinforces that in this random and unpredictable life, the time to do things is now. Patience and “in due time” is not for me. I can not slack! I know this is not the kindest thing to say but I sincerely hope I am reminded of this rude fact often. So that I stop slacking. And do some great work that inspires others to chase their greatness. What else is the meaning of life otherwise? 
Phew! And that’s it for the day! 

Previous posts in the lockdown series are – Day 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 10, 11, 19, 30, 32, 34, 35

PS: Here’s another short sentence for you 😉 

Day 35 of Lockdown

Day 35 of the lockdown.

Day 41 otherwise.
Hello, world!

The dark clouds that shrouded me yesterday? They seem to have dispelled! Yay to that! 
So, as I get about my day, I am listening to this concert by Shantanu Moitra where he is talking about his journey through the Himalayas and his lessons there. Each piece of music has been composed by his time there. I am thinking, it is SUCH a great idea. I mean as an individual, he took it upon himself to go discover himself. At places that are tough to live. Especially if you are not from there. And while he did that, he heard stories from people, got inspired by their simplicity, and then came back to create music. And then of course, he shared it with whoever he could. Via concerts etc. And I have to tell you, it IS BRILLIANT. Do listen to it. Thanks, JS for sharing it with me.

I think that is what keeps me sane. Inspiring stories from people that do things that are unexpected. As someone said, “koshish karne wale ki kabhi haar nahi hoti“

On the same note, I think this lockdown is a brilliant opportunity to think and discover and identify what inspires you. And what inspires me is the ability to help others figure what they want!

And here’s an offer. In case you would want to use me as a bouncing board to crack what is it that you want to chase, I am happy to volunteer. Drop me an email with answers to these three questions…

  • 1. If you had all the money what would you do? 
  • 2. What was your favorite thing to do as a kid? 
  • 3. Who do your friends compare you to?
So that’s about it! Let whoop some ass! 

Previous posts in the lockdown series are – Day 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 10, 11, 19, 30, 32, 34

Day 34 of the lockdown

Day 34 of the lockdown.
Day 40 otherwise.

I feel spaced out. Not overwhelmed. But spaced out. You know where I want to be alone and do nothing? Not even watch shit on Netflix. Mood swing? May be. May be not. I don’t know. It’s one of those phases, those days when I don’t want to do anything. Eat a lot and sleep. And wake up after hours.

Nah, not that bad. If I am able to write this stream of thoughts, things are not that bad. I’ve had worse phases where I don’t even want to put my hands to use – you know, figuratively and metaphorically. Right now, I am doing enough to belt this out! 
I don’t really know what’s wrong. I mean I am still the same, that I was a few hours ago (aka yesterday). I am still eating the same. I am still wasting time like I was – I have long given up on the idea of being the man and stop being a boy. I think the lack of action and lack of opportunities to do things at scale is what is affecting me. I am guessing. Can never be sure. 
Lemme think and figure how the day was.
9ish – Woke up, not the usual time (got late in sleeping yesterday). Puttered around the house, fixed a coffee, spoke to a friend, to my parents. 
945 – Logged into a session on screenwriting with Anjum Rajabali. WHAT A SESSION IT WAS! Took reams of notes. Was distracted for a large part of it – there were so many ideas, so many themes that he touched up that I don’t know where to start! I wish I could be like him someday. Had three Diet Cokes while listening to the sessions! Wait! Is that fucking my head? That I am not like him? We’d come back to this. 
Had three Diet Cokes while listening to the sessions! 
330ish – Class got over and a friend needed some help with tech. The MOST frustrating hour of the day. I, of course, could not figure out the tech. Ended up getting pissed at the inability. Note 2. I think I don’t like getting into the nitty-gritty of things. I am a big picture guy. And in words of a friend, the world does NOT need any big-picture kinds no more. I will have to think hard and get down to execution. 
6 – 7 – Saw a couple of my friends do live sessions with some interesting folks. Did some logistical things alongside. While seeing those sessions, realized that all this talk of events and talks moving online? I think it’s a fad and it will pass. The richness of seeing someone talk live is the same as watching a pre-recorded video on youtube or something. Worse, while it’s beaming live, I can’t really pause it or take breaks. I think this events and conferences and talks happening online and streaming live is a bibble and will burst soon! But of course, I have been wrong in the past – I famously said that why would people want touch phones to type when a BB Bold has the best keypad in the world? Let’s see how it pans out. 
8 – Here I am. Writing this. 
So, in all, it was a pretty ok day. 
I ate “healthy” – at least my version of that (almost no sugar, no potatoes, no maida, no dairy. And a lot of fat, some protein, and some carbs. Though I am most probably going to order in a pizza soon). I did have 2-3 coffees and 3 Diet Coke cans. But I ate ok.

The days are hot here and since the AC is not working, I have no other option but to bear it. Which is ok. I am ok to dress down and I am ok with the idea.

I learned a LOT of new things in the session. Which is great! Doesn’t happen quite often since the lockdown happened. 

I had a lot of idle time – which I don’t like.
I did a lot of time pass – which I like.
I did a lot of procrastination – which I don’t like.
I did a lot of planning – which I like.

Also, while I was writing this, I realized that I like working with people and getting them to do things that they don’t want to. I mean inspiring them, motivating them, agreeing to go beyond their comfort zone. May be there is something there? Need to move towards that soon.

That’s about it, I guess. I mean I am still the same in my head. But at least, I wrote.

Hope tomorrow is better.

And with this, over and out.

Previous posts in the lockdown series are – Day 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 10, 11, 19, 30, 32

Day 32 of the lockdown

Day 32 of the lockdown.
Day 38 otherwise.

It is after a few days that I feel human myself again.

And what is this myself? Well, someone who’s up and about early (as I write this, its 8 AM. Been up since 7 and puttering around the house, and right now I am sipping on to my coffee (with coconut oil and turmeric)). I feel that there is a lot to be done and no not in an overwhelming manner – in a good way. I am generally hopeful about life and work and all that. I know times are hard and things are tough and it will not be easy – especially for mercenaries like me. But I am hopeful. As hopeful as I have ever been in my life. Like acche din are just around the corner, even though its been almost 40 years now.

Thing is, I don’t know what’s helped me get up on the right side of the bed. This is one of those “khush hoon main aaj khamkha” days. You know when you are singing for no reason. Remember that ad from Cadburys? And while we are at it, see this post from Mar 2015. 

I am still sleeping as much. Or as less. Depends on how you look at it. I am still staying up late. I am still anxious. I am still having all the coffee that I must not have. I am not getting enough physical exercise. I am clearly not getting enough Vitamin D. Bank balance is now as negative as the amount of hair I have on my head. But I am generally being myself today.

I am sure there are things that are working below the surface – I don’t know what those are and I want to identify those. Just that I have not done anything different yesterday compared to other days. Maybe I slept really well? Yesterday, there was this breeze that cooled the room a bit (my AC has conked off and I can’t get it fixed till we open the lockdown). May be I will get used to a life where I don’t need to AC to sleep? Fuck that would be amazing. It’s always been a big big goal in my life! Let’s see.

Apart from a tad better sleep, I am not sure what has changed. And anyway I sleep well on most days. There has to be something else at play. Need to figure out what that is. Maybe it will come to me?

That’s about it I guess. 

Chalo kaam kare! Have loads to do 🙂


Previous posts in the lockdown series are – Day 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 10, 11, 19, 30

Day 30 of the Lockdown

Day 30 of the lockdown.

Or this may be 31ist for all you care. Let’s carry on with whatever number. Day 36 otherwise.

Hello, blog, or whoever is reading this.

As I start writing this, it is 4:42 AM and I have just done the dishes. What an ungodly hour to do dishes. But I don’t know what else to do at this time. I am tired – physically, mentally, and emotionally. For some reason, I can’t get sleep (one reason is that the AC has conked off and the people I’ve taken it on rent from can’t fix, cos lockdown). Of course, I am trying hard to eat less and in moderation. But I am failing gloriously at that. I mean in the last 24 hours, I have had three full meals, each at least 1500 calories. How do I know? Well, after each meal, all I can do is doze off in whatever state I am at in (sitting, lying down, doing dishes, etc).

Anyhow. Now that I am on the computer. Lemme dump the thoughts in my head here. 
So, the thing is, when this lockdown was announced, I had decided that I will use this break to work on the next book, get fitter and I don’t know what all. I even wrote about it in my blog here. It was supposed to be three weeks and I was supposed to follow a schedule like a mule. Which I did. For a couple of days, I think. And then it was back to how I was before the lockdown. In a Brownian Motion. Drifting. Where life takes me. 
I think that’s how I am probably. Start with something that has a super large ask from me. Find a comfortable part, that is higher than the normal and almost always lower than the ask that I have identified for myself. But in effect, I end up doing more than what I would if I were a realist. 
And this break was supposed to separate boys from men. And I think I am clearly in the boys’ category. Do I even need to put all those lofty goals for myself then? Something to think about!

Of course, a few good things have happened. 
Here’s a list.
A. Got the iPhone fixed. 
Got some number from the internet. Called the guy and even though he took almost double what it would’ve cost me on a regular day, the phone now works. And that means I can be a tad more functional.

But then, to be honest, I broke the phone on the 2nd day of the lockdown and I wasn’t really functional, or on the other end, hyper-productive when I did not have a good phone. 


It’s just a peace-of-mind thing that everything I want and need and wish for from a tech device is now back in my hands. You know, things like transferring money to others on Paytm? I’d have to call friends for that cos Paytm does not work from a desktop!
B. Met a couple of friends. 
They drove from Ghatkopar to here. Thing is, I was out of cash and there was no ATM in sight and I did not know how to operate. So, I asked them if they could. And voila. 
More than the cash, I think I am happy that I saw them.
Actually, no! I am not happy. Rather, I am pissed and angry that I saw them. Thing is, I wanted this lockdown to be pure. You know, sacrosanct. Where I don’t meet anyone and no one meets me. Except for the delivery guys and the building security. 

Plus I realized that I hate when my friends and family see the way I live. I have no guilt or shame about how I’ve designed by my life and how I live. I definitely do not give two hoots about whoever comes to my place. But then, there are friends that you want to show off to, when those people see you living in a shack, it breaks my heart. I guess I’ll never be comfortable going to (or calling people) houses, homes, pads, etc of other people. I know I am weird. 

C. Since I have been working for almost a month now, at home, on a chair and table. I don’t think I am ever going back to a coworking space. Unless, of course, I get it for free. Or if someone else is paying for it. 
Oh, I will have to get some office supplies (printer, paper, aircon that works, and other such things that makes it bearable to sit at a place for hours and dream). 
I’d save some money. Money that would become super paramount in the times to come. 
D. I finally put up this wall of post-its and paper where I would purportedly write shit about my next book. Purportedly. I am not sure. Let’s see. Also, see the point above about using the lockdown to do things. 
E. The best part is that because of COVID, I think the events business will take a large hit. I wrote about it here. And as a result my pivot to the next thing that I work on, to make ends meet, will get accelerated. 
No, I don’t have an idea what that next thing is. And I am chatting with people to understand what it could be. Let’s see what I close on. If you’ve read till here, you must know me well and have an interest in my success. Tell me what’s the next thing I could do? 
With that, over and out! Hope you are staying safe and sane! 

Previous posts in the lockdown series are – Day 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 10, 11, 19

Day 19 of 21daysOfLockdown

Day 19 of the lockdown.

Day 25 otherwise.

Been more than a week since I wrote. Even though I’ve had a lot to write about. And I did not have anything to write. Minutes have blurred into hours, hours into days and days into something that I can’t recall either the beginning of. Or the end of. Guess that’s how life essentially is. Time blurring into one continuous stream that we sort of stop noticing!

Anyhow. So when we got into the lockdown, I decided that I would come out of this healthier, happier and with a manuscript of my book. Ok, hyperbole. But I had decided that I would use the time to see if I am a boy or a man. And if the last 18 days are to be believed, am more of a boy than a man. And that’s a truth I need to live with, for the rest of my life. Unless I use the remainder of the time (another 18 days from here on) to get things done. In fact, I promised myself that in case lockdown extends in Mumbai, I would stop everything and focus on my book and shave my head off. So maybe, the book is what I’d work on for the next few days. 

Oh, I did shave my head today. A part of it at least. Whatever I could in sweltering heat of a stuffy, tiny room in my house. And if you are curious, I did a terrible job at it. To a point that I don’t think I’ll be able to show my face to anyone for a while. Thank God for the lockdown. I just need to say that I broke the camera of the computer to avoid the video calls!

So this is it. Nothing great or interesting to share. Just that I hadn’t written in a while and I had to.

What are you guys up to? Pray, do tell!

Previous posts in the series – 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7*, 8*, 9*, 10, 11, 12*, 13*, 14*, 15*, 16*, 17*, 18* 
*- the days I did not post

Day 11 of 21daysOfLockdown

Day 11 of the lockdown.

Day 16 otherwise.

So today, I finally decided to stop cooking at home. Even though it is super risky to order in, I still want to go ahead and do it. My theory is that these restaurants have been operational for a while now and that means they are taking care of the safety requirements in terms of food and all. Plus the amount of time and mental trauma it takes to cook, clean, cook, clean twice a day is not something that I can’t handle. I have learned enough to be able to do it if there is an absolute need. But for the time being, I am happy to order. The only trouble is that most restaurants that you can order from are cutting corners (at least the ones I have been ordering from) and sending in smaller portions. And I think it’s ok. I want to judge but lemme take a step towards stoicism. 
The food situation is thus sorted. I need to reduce the amounts I eat so that I can actually lose some weight without working out – who doesn’t want that? Apart from that, I also want to (and will work on) my sleep. For starters, I plan to sleep at 930 PM till the time lockdown is lifted. I mean if I cant do this at this time, when would I do? In terms of headspace, thanks to Naval’s 60-day meditation challenge, I have been thinking hard about things. Harder than I’ve ever thought. And on things that are important. And has made me realize things that I never knew about myself. For example, today I realized that I am no longer a details person. I like to think and execute the macro and want someone else to do the dirty work. Of course, no ships were built by people that did not do the dirty work themselves but if that’s a tradeoff I have to make, I will! At the age I am at, while I do want to learn new things and upskill myself, I do not want to undo what I have.
If I do these three (not waste time on chores, sleep well and think deeper), I think I should be ok. I will have enough time to be able to do things that I have planned to do in this break. This IS a break! I mean most of us are getting paid while we are at home. If you can read this, you for sure are. It may be less, it may have reduced a bit, it may be under a threat but as of today, you are getting paid. And all that you have is today! Not yesterday, not tomorrow. Yes, learn from the past and plan for the future. But live in today. 
Anyhow. So that’s that. Today was day 11. We are at more than the halfway mark. If we survived for this long, we can do whatever is left. As always, please take care, be good! 
See you guys soon! 

Previous posts in the series – 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7*, 8*, 9*, 10
* – the days I did not post

Day 10 of 21daysOfLockdown

Day 10 of the lockdown.Day 15.

15 days now since I have been indoors. Except for the two grocery runs I made. And except the occasional walk that I go for around my building. One time I ever walked up 12 stories – you know, was trying to get fitter. But then that shall remain a distant dream.

So, the 10th day. I think I am beginning to accept that lockdown is not a bad idea, after all. I mean I am fairly sorted in the head even though I am alone. I am enjoying this solitude. I do miss company once in a while but those times I am ok with video calls. Etc etc. 
But then, like everything good, there are a few bads that I am worried about. Lemme make a list of things that are concerning me.
Today, I ran out of groceries. But then I found a restaurant that is willing to deliver at this time. So that is sorted. 
My internet connection is getting slower by the day. Apparently, everyone is streaming shit on Netflix and Youporn and all that. I know tons of friends that bough subscription to multiple streaming services – I mean how many times can you watch the same shows over and over again? In fact, the other day I read a tweet where a gentleman predicted that in about 12-18 months, there would be a glut of content on Netflix cos nothing new is getting made. Coming back to the Internet, this is something that I can clearly not do anything about. So, fuck this! 
Work is surprisingly going good. I mean I don’t really have a lot to work on – thanks to a general lull in the business environment. But whatever little I have, I am getting a lot more done. At this stage, I can only hope that things will improve. And I hope things improve fast – before I am out of money (which I already am – just that I wish I don’t run out of my credit line).
Fitness is not being up to the mark. But then there is no place to showcase the fitness. Except for all the jhaadu and dishes that I do. And then I don’t really have anyone to show the great job that I am doing with jhaadu. 
In terms of life philosophy and other such things, I think I need a fresh start. You know, reset life. Start afresh. Like in the Fast Car. 
Anyhow. Glad to have finally written something after 3 days. Need to get other things back on track after I took that ill-timed sabbatical a few days ago. 
Over and out!

Previous posts in the series – 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7*, 8*, 9*
* – the days I did not post