Category: Driving

On drives!

Wrote this yesterday on my newsletter. Subscribe here. 

Hello!
I continue to fail. Sigh!
But I continue to not give up either. Yay!

That’s’ how the life of an artist typically is. At least mine is.
Lot of action. Lot of lulls.
Lot of work. Lot of waiting.
Lot of inspiration. Lot of dark periods.

So anyway. Coming back. A Saturday. How’s it going for you guys? Yesterday, I slept at 8 PM and I thought I would wake up at 4 AM and get all the pending things done. But then I woke at 1:55. Then I woke up at 4:01 and finally at 7 ish. No, no remorse for sleeping in for 11 hours. I have this drive today (if it happens) where I would be up for some time.

Drives.

One of those things that I am a BIG BIG fan of. If I had all the money in the world, apart from playing poker and teaching, I would own a few good cars (and some bad ones as well) and spend a lot of time on the road. And no, I would not get attached to these cars (I am perfectly ok to drive the car to a far off destination, flying back to my place and then letting a driver bring the car back).

I have no clue what is it about the road and driving that I like. I think it is that feeling of escape from the routine that is so enticing. Maybe it is the chase of the unknown – you know, how us humans have always wanted to push boundaries and unravel the mysteries? Or maybe it is that feeling of control that you get when you are behind a steering wheel. You know, that fake sense of being in control that motivates all those dictators and egomaniacal people?

I think I will never know what it is about these drives. But I do know that these are getting increasingly rare. And because they are getting tougher and tougher to make, I am craving for them a lot more. To a point that I do not leave a single opportunity to go on these. Just that I hope it never reaches a point that because of all the craving, I just give up on em. You know what I am saying?

See, that’s the thing with most cravings. They follow a graph.
You experience a new thing.
You get excited about it.
Then you want it more.
You get a lot of it.
You get used to it.
And then when you stop getting it, you get withdrawal symptoms.
And then you do whatever it takes to get that kick.
And then after a point, you can no longer afford to do whatever.
And then either you kill yourself. Or you give up.

In my case, I give up on things. And on people. And on situations. And wants. Probably explains why I am the way I am. Ok enough of revealing my dark sides.

So, the drive is what I am looking forward to this weekend. What about you? What is it that you are working on that is not letting you sleep?

First posted on my newsletter. I try to send one email every day. Subscribe here. 

The Transporter

I stumbled onto a new career opportunity today. It’s a mix of everything I love – people, roads, driving, travel, storytelling and more. It solves a very evident pain point – albeit for a small number of people. Here it is!


The service proposition
If you are moving cities / states and you have a car to ship, rather than sending it via train/truck/transport, allow me to drive it from Mumbai to your new home!

In other words, say you are moving from Mumbai to Delhi and you have a car in Mumbai that you want to take with you to Delhi, how about letting me drive the 1600 odd KMs?

Why am I doing this?
I love the roads. And I love to drive. My ideal holiday is a great clean car with great music that I can sing along with and a road that takes me away. Takes me away. Not take me to. Takes me away from where I am become I dont know where I want to be. And I wish the road never ends.

However, Earth is flat and the roads are limited after all. So what do you do? You keep on driving on the same routes. Till the dhabas become familiar, the various handymen that you find at pit-stops become friends, the monotony of the road sets in and you start the journey within. And so much more!

Lemme not ramble. The point is, if you have a car that needs transporting, I want to drive it to your new destination.

Who am I?
I am Saurabh. 33, M, Mumbai. Been driving since 2010 I think. In all these years I have had one accident (I know it doesnt inspire trust but I ought to be honest). Have driven, if not more, at least a lakh KMs (did the East-Delhi to Gurgaon and back routine for close to 3 years. That’s 100 KMs a day for 1000 days).

Apart from that I have driven in India and abroad. I’ve driven by myself and with others. I’ve made roadtrips as inane as Mumbai to Goa and back and as exciting as SF to Vegas. I’ve driven for 24 hours straight and I’ve been pissed off with just a 10-min commute. In all, I believe I am pretty ok driver and I want to make my passion my second third profession. My first is running AWSL and C4. Second is writing.

References available on request.

What do you get should you choose to hire me?

  • A guarantee that I will take care of your car as if it were my own. I will keep it clean, not stress the engine too much by overspeeding or using wrong gears. I will check the tyres at all stops and strive to keep the car in the same condition that I get in. 
  • Commitment on time. If I say that I will take, say 3 days to reach Delhi (ex-Mum), I will reach in three days! 



What do you pay?
You pay for the fuel and on-road incidentals (tolls etc).

And in some cases, a flight ticket from the city of drop to Mumbai. Of course this is negotiable. I am not doing this for money. In fact, in an ideal world, I ought to be paying for this!

Pros

  • Your car gets to feature on my Roadtrips thru India blog (which is non-existent right now).
  • The peace of mind that your car is being taken care of well.
  • An autographed copy of my book! Lol! 
  • Probably some saving on the transport costs.

Cons

  • Probably more time consuming than sending it via transport. Not sure though. 
  • May not be safe. Should there be an incident, you will have to bear the cost of repairs. Of course I will take every care while driving. 
  • I am not too much into cars. So I can’t really rattle names of the parts and do quick-fixes should there be a problem. But then Indian highways are full of mechanics that know a car better than even Henry Elon himself! 
That’s it. I can’t wait to get started. I am on saurabh.garg@gmail.com and / or @saurabh should you want to hire me! 
Thank you! 

The Noida Agra Expressway



This weekend A few weekends ago, I was in Agra for work. While going and coming back, I used the new Yamuna Expressway – the latest in the additions of expressways in India. Here are few quick comments.

  1. Boring scenery – compared to Mumbai Pune expressway, this one is really boring. For 150 odd kilometers, all you see is flat lands with an occasional green patch. Most of these flatlands are so similar to each other that you may think that you are going around in circles, in an infinite loop! And since the scenery is boring and there is nothing to do on the road, except hold the steering straight and stare at the road ahead. There is no pleasure in driving. If I was given an option, I would not go on this road for the drive atleast. But yes, if I need to goto Agra, this has to be the preferred route! 
  2. Lack of amenities along the way. There are three places where you stop to pay the toll. And when I went, late August, none of the three were operational. This means that there is no fuel along the way, nothing to eat, no place to pee and no place to throw garbage. Hopefully this would have changed by now by its definitely scary to not have anything, if you get stuck. Yes I did spot escort vehicles, patrol cars and ambulances but I am not sure if they would come when I called for them. 
  3. Bumpy roads. For an expressway, the roads are very bumpy. There are no potholes per se but the road is not flat. Imagine a roller coaster and flatten the crests. Its like that. Like a wave. I dunno why did they do it but I am sure there must have been some pressing need to do so!
  4. Too many stray dogs and other stray animals. Though they have fenced the entire stretch with barbed wires on either side but there are just too many stray animals on the expressway for comfort. I have no clue how they got in because they barbed wire seems taut and high enough for a dog to jump over but there are so many of them that you are forced to drive on the right lane, lest some animal comes in front of your vehicle suddenly.
Having mentioned all these things, it does take exactly two hours from Greater Noida to reach Agra and if someone asked me if I would recommend it, I would say Hell Yeah!

Dear lady in the white car

Dear lady in the white Wagon R behind my car on the Gurgoan Toll plaza,

First of all thank you! Today you made the otherwise boring and monotonous trip to office fun. You had been trailing my car, knowingly, since the Radisson flyover. Every time I went fast, you would speed up, every time I would slow down, you’d slow down as well, every time I cut a lane, you were prompt to follow. And yet at no point you looked threatening. In fact the sly smile on your face, when I looked back from the rear view mirror, was charming to say the least. If you weren’t wearing shades, nice ones by the way, I would have tried to read the intent in your eyes. But anyways, thank you.

Second, I was wondering if you do this to every random guy? Because from what I know, I have nothing remarkable about me. Not even my car. It’s a plain Jane Santro with a stupid “True Earth” color (somewhere between a brown and a dirty white). I am bald, dark and everything that a woman’s nightmare is made out of. And yet you chose to follow me. I cant for my life think of a reason why you’d do that. May be you shower such excitement on the least harmful guy every morning? But what ever the reason, you did it and I enjoyed it. At least I just cribbed once about the toll plaza today.

Third, you drive well. Really well. I consider myself a good driver, a lot of friends would vouch for this and its not easy to keep up with me. Not that I am fast or anything but I have this knack with driving. I know when the driver ahead of me would break, when that opening becomes available from where I could zip my car through, when to hit the break, when to slow and so on and so forth. Doing this when you are alone, is really easy. But tailing someone like a shadow, the way you tailed me for good 4 kilometers, is no easy task. You did it to perfection. So much so that, you may remember, that I was looking at you from the rear view mirror and I nodded in appreciation. You seemed to nod as well but then I don’t really remember as I was busy cutting a lane that time.

Fourth, next time you do this, don’t leave your car windows open. Nothing wrong with it. Even I enjoy the wind in my hair and all that but you know you have long hair. Ofcourse when they cover your face and that sly smile, you look all the more gorgeous but then I think in the long run, all the dust and sun could be bad for your hair. No? I mean you are a woman and you must know about this more than me for sure, who’s got like 20 hair strands left on his head. But anyways, it’s a matter of personal choice. I liked the whole effect of hair falling on your face, head, shoulders etc. Just that, i believe that the ones who are blessed with nice hair, must take care of em. Ask the ones like me!

And lastly and most importantly, same place, same time tomorrow?

Sincerely,
The guy in the Santro

A real-life coward

A couple of days back, I was going to meet my agony aunt. I was in Gurgoan and I was driving at may be 40 and was singing out loud to my music. There are a few big decisions I needed to take and I wanted her opinion. I was thinking of all the things that I wanted to talk to her about. And I heard a loud noise. I was in an accident!

The other vehicle was a taxi, plying for Spicejet (I would come to Spicejet bit in a minute). The taxi was being driven the way taxis are driven – fast, furious, reckless and brash. I was driving the way I drive. And there was a blind turn. The crash was inevitable.Thankfully no one got hurt in the accident. The two cars got damaged like crazy. Especially mine is beyond recognition.

What had to happen, happened. But right after the crash, at least twenty other taxi drivers ganged up against me. They surrounded me from all sides, hurling abuses at me. Since everyone in an armchair activist, everyone had their version of the story and everyone seemed angry. At least two of them even held my shirt collar. They pushed me around and put my back against a wall. No one hit me but if I had opened my mouth and had uttered a single word, it would have been ugly and I would have been bashed up like crazy. I was held hostage by all these people, most of them dint really have a business being there, and I could not do a thing!

It was broad daylight and there were atleast 100 other spectators. The worst part, the damn voyeurs were actually laughing and enjoying the show. Not a single soul bothered to even try and help me. All the empty noises that I make about being a hero, standing up for what you think is right, being strong, being confident and all that, came flashing in front of my eyes. I was destroyed. I dint know if I was to voice my thoughts and get killed for real or if I was to become a coward and stand there with my head hanging like a guilty man.

At that instant, I realized that I am only good when the person in front of me is logical and understands the situation. There is no way I can handle a mob. Especially a gang of thugs, that is constantly looking for some problem to meddle into. These people are out there to kill or get killed. And for no apparent reason.

Thankfully  this was close to office. I called up a few colleagues, they came immediately. And once they arrived, I took a breather. I finally had someone who I could trust. Even the police turned up after a while. They merely stood there and told us to “reach a compromise” and not bother them with complaints and formalities of FIR etc. I was aghast at their behavior and I was surprised. Aren’t they supposed to serve and protect? Aren’t they supposed to maintain law and order? Arent they supposed to talk to those goons who had ganged up on me and put some sense in them?

Finally three hour after the arguments and counter-arguments, we reached a “compromise” and everyone left for their respective homes/offices etc. For me, the only outcome is the realization that I am by myself in this wild world. It’s like back to those prehistoric days where every animal was for itself and had to fend itself from everything else in the jungle.

In 2012, it’s a modern day jungle out there. I am a tiny creature and I need to look for myself.

And Spicejet, I sincerely wish I had a way of reaching your transport department and telling them the kind of people they’ve hired. But then one things for sure, I am not going to fly Spicejet anytime soon. And all the stock that I own, I would sell. Today.

Incoherent thoughts on my car

En route to Patiala with Neo, Feb 2011

When I moved back to Delhi in 2009, I dint know how to drive a car. While I was away, my
sis/folks had bought this car and since I loath using public transport, I
got the rights to use this car. I learned (learnt?) how to drive on this car and
now more than two years and 75,000 KMs later, I can confidently say that I am a good driver. More importantly, I enjoy love driving. So much so that at times I take longer routes while going home. I love the control I have over the car. I love the fact that I can judge the distances and gaps with clock-like precision. I love the response that the car gives me. In fact at times, like I was telling #sgMS during one of those rides, the car feels like an extension of my body. The way I can control my limbs effortlessly and subconsciously, the same way, I control the movements of my car. I dont have to divert any  attention when I am supposed to change the gears or step on the paddles or maneuver on the road. Its all ingrained in my head and it now comes naturally to me.

Lucky that despite more than 75000 KMs on it, so far I havent had no major
accidents. Apart from that one incident near Haridwar when a truck banged my car from the back. And for the record, no fault of mine. And the other time I scratched againt a truck and it blew away my left rear view
mirror (this was lapse in my judgement). And then there were tons of small scratches that you cant really avoid when the most part of drives happen in Delhi.

Just in case, I drive a Hyundai Santro. This is one of those entry level cars where they promise you comfort and yet leave a lot to be desrired for. Its not really powerful but can zip around for sure. India, the speeds are typically 60KMph and my Santro can easily handle it. It runs on petrol and I know it is an expensive proposition but then I think this is the only luxury I indulge in (dont like buying clothes or watches or fancy things). I dont make a lot of money and I could hypothetically travel in the awesome Delhi Metro or the other modes of public transprt, but I refuse to do so. I want my space and my car gives me that. Hopefully, things would take a turn for the good soon and I would be able to upgrade to a new car this year or the next year. Till then sgSantro would have to be around.

P.S. Dint know what to write about but had to update the blog today.

P.P.S. For all the bots and other social media aficionados, this post is NOT about a Santro, but is about my love for driving. And this could have been any other brand. Santro is incidental. And on the other hand, my posts about sgElectra, are VERY MUCH about the brand. You cant replace a Royal Enfield with any other bike. 

Curious case of bluetooth headsets

If you read this blog regularly or follow me on twitter (I am @saurabh and @sgSandbox on twitter), you would know that I drive for more than 4 hours and 100 KMs almost everyday. Blame it on the distance between my home and office. And since the drive is such a mundane and boring part of the day, I hate to waste it. Ever since I got onto the productivity drive, I thought if I gathered all the calls that I am supposed make (and return) and made them while driving, I could utilize my time.

But then Delhi Police is super efficient. They have a vision better than the stump vision and the hawk’s eye and they are experts at spotting people who are driving and talking on the phone. And to save on those unnecessary  traffic challans and further waste of time arguing with the cops, I decided to buy a bluetooth headset.

A bluetooth headset is a wonderful device if you ask me. It allows you to speak on the phone and yet let your hands remain free. I could do the same thing if I put my phone on a loudspeaker but then the voice quality is really bad. And then the headset comes for like a thousand bucks.

So using headsets is a no-brainer if you ask me. I bought one and could actually drive and talk and get a lot of thing done. Totally loved it. Till, I realize that these tiny devices need to be charged often. And for the same you need to bring them out of the car. And once they are out of the car, they have the tendency to get lost. As of writing this, I have lost about 5 such devices. The last one, about two hours back when I was out meeting a friend. And it has been bothering me since then. I am the kinds who likes to keep things at their place and I try to be organized. Losing things is something that is just cant tolerate.

And you know the worst part? I would have to buy it once again. I consider it that important a gadget. And I think this time, rather than the bluetooth headset, I would buy a wired headset with a mic. Atleast the wire will stay attached to the phone and hopefully I would not lose it. And since the wired ones are cheaper, I would not lose a lot of money, even if I lost it!

Aug 07: So Gaya Ye Jahan

Another day on the road. Another post from the phone. Since am on road, I shall write a piece about romanticizing roads. Will try for fiction. Let’s see what comes out.

Jack loved driving. And he loved nights. And the only thing he loved more than the two, was driving at nights. He had this theory. That while you are on the road, you not only burn rubber and add kilometers to the odometer, you travel within and you get closer to yourself. Ofcourse no one understood a thing back then.

Fast forward to today, while Jack is away, everyone misses him. They know somethings missing from their lives but they can’t pin point what it is. May be that intensity, or that earnest expression, or that attitude that challenged all norms. Or may be it was his armchair philosophies and theories on everything under the sun! Most of these are unspoken but they do talk about his exploits on the race track.

Back then, it was really tough for a boy of his means to get active with underground racing. Wtf, even now, its tough for any boy/man with any sort of means to get an entry into motorsports and we are talking about a 15 year old rubbing shoulders with men twice his age and grinding them to dust.

Some attributed it to his luck. Some said it was his foolhardy attitude. Some even went to the extent of saying that since he was what he was, he had nothing to loose. And the glory, the aura, that came with the podium finishes released more testosterone than a boy his age could handle. And it showed. Though he kept to himself, he was very intense. Even at that tender age, most people found it hard to meet his gaze.

Life was all good before that fateful night. They were to collect toll road slips of all the 4 toll points around the city. They could choose to do them in any order, take any road, do watever. But they had to reach the starting point fastest. To make things exciting there were no finish lines and no audience. These guys were gonna be following the racers they could catch upto.

What happened that day, is the stuff legends are made of. And yet there has been some sort of silence reigning over the sequence of events that night. That night changed Jack. He was back to being a normal 15 year old and soon faded away into the oblivion. And one fine night, when people had grown indifferent to Jacks absence (or presence), he packed his bags and slipped out of the city.

I wish I could write about that night. The race. The victory. The defeat. The brightest flicker of a nebula, before Jack and his story turned into a blackhole!

This is day 07 in a series of 31 daily blogposts. Other posts are here.

The near near death experience

Note: This was originally written on 27th May. Never got around to finishing it. Forced finished it today.

Last night (on the night of 26th May), while driving home, I had a near near death experience.

A near death experience is when you are almost dead and you come back from the verge of that long white tunnel. Survivors (of the near death experience) often indicate that they saw a long white tunnel and a magnetic force pulling them towards the eye of the tunnel. They also describe in vivid details that their entire life flashes past by. Some people talk about how time slows down when you are so close to extinction.

I have got one word for all those people. Bullshit. Will go in the details later but right now, lemme describe briefly what actually happened. So I was on the elevated Barapulla road and I was doing about 80 kmph I think. Side note to Delhi Traffic Police. Please do not send me a ticket. So I was doing 80 on the road and was yelling out a song into the air. And was high – on music, freedom and the wind in my head. (Note: I dont booze). I took a turn and I see these two cars parked side by side on the road, leaving just one lane for other traffic. And they were not even 50 meters ahead of me. I had two options. Bang into one of them. Drive off the railing, about 30 feet down, in a drain. And since I hate getting my hands dirty, I decided that I would rather bang in them. But then, like all miracles, the ones that happened at the right time, one happened for me as well.

Somehow, to this date (almost a month since the incident), I dont know how my hands moved the steering about 900 degrees and my car wedged between the railing and the other car. I can bet my hair (or watever is left of it) that there was no space between the railing and the car and if I was in the situation again, I would not come out alive.

And no, this is not fiction. And please do NOT try this at home. Or School. Or roads.

Close races of the strangers kind

When was the last time you raced your car through traffic on Delhi roads? Against another vehicle? Being driven by a stranger? And with a tacit understanding between the two of you that you were racing each other? And trying to better each other?

I did it on Friday. I won. No kidding. And it was as exciting as the bungee!

The best part of the race was the inherent unpredictability of the encounter. You know for sure that you would not meet that driver ever again in your life. You would not have notes to share or stories to tell. And you know for a fact that there wouldn’t be any spectators around to cheer your victory or console your loss. And you dont even know when the two of you would part ways and race would end as abruptly as it had begun!

But, one of those things that make live worth living!

So this is what being drunk means

So this is what being drunk means. The heads spinning and yet you feel good about it. You have that heady feeling and yet you are elated. You yell out songs at top of your voice and not care a shade about anyone or anything. You lose your inhibitions and only thing stopping you from being yourself is you.

So this is what being drunk actually means. When you are carefree. When you cant think of anything. When the mind is actually blank – devoid of all thought. Even when you are on the phone, with your best friend, all you talk, is nothing. Where there are no words. There’s not even silence. Just the noise of wind. On either ends.
So this is what being drunk really means. When you get that mental high just because you are on the road, driving a vehicle. Controlling it. Maneuvering it at will. Like a free bird. Imagine Delhi at night. The wind. Cold enough to send that shiver down your spine. And not so cold that you need layers of cloths. Awesome roads devoid of any traffic. Where you can zip around in your car. A pit stop at India Gate. And spreading your arms wide. The way birds often do, before they fly away. Imagine the flight. Wish you could take off.
Confession. I am drunk. Not on alcohol. But on caffeine and chocolate. And on the amazing winds that you get only in Delhi. And on the wonderful drive that you just completed.

How to loose 20000 in an hour

I think I have mastered the art of losing money. The latest gaffe is how to loose 20K in a hour. Its a two step process. Here it is …

  1. Bang someone’s car and pay 5000 for the repair. Even when the other person hadnt asked for it.
  2. Order a gaming console for a friend. Assuming that its 8000. And you actually end up paying 15000.

P.S.: Love the fact that I can pay this money without thinking too much.