Category: Fiction

Phase 1, 2 and 3

NOTE: After my last post, Couple of people asked me to repost this. Here is the post. Verbatim. Havent changed anything.

When you are on a trip, there are three phases that you go through. More mental than physical, these phases are what it makes riding so special.

So Phase 1 is when you have just started the trip and you are dreaming of all the good things that you would go through during the course of the ride. You already start dreaming of time when your thoughts are racing ahead of your bike that fast that your mind becomes numb, the road blurs and the roar of the bike is no longer there. The bike becomes a part of your body and its sound, your heartbeat. You can feel it. You can feel it coming. You are anticipating for the happy times.

Phase 2 is the actual state of bliss. The state that you dream of when you just set out to ride. This phase lasts just about few minutes before you are interrupted but these minutes are something that make the entire ordeal worth it. Some might want to compare this pleasure with orgasm. This is the time when your thoughts actually start to flow. This is that mental state that all the sages try to achieve. The state when they say they have attained nirvana. When everything else ceases to matter. Everything is put on hold. You ignore everything. All things big and all things small. You live in the now. You become part of it. You are now. You don’t make any grandiose plans. Things become clear. Clouds start parting.

And then the Phase 3. It’s like coming back from heaven. Or from hell for that matter. This is the time when you start thinking what to do next. About the next destination and the next journey. This is when you start reflecting on things. And most of your introspection happens. This is where you think about things that you are running away from and things that you are running towards. This is where you decide you want to change jobs, marry her, create a company, get rich, quit, restart, change world. This is where you actually plan it. First. Thoughts just pop up. You never thought you would think about those things. You never imagined you could think about those things. They suddenly appear out of nowhere.

That’s a different story that most of them are gone by the time the dust settles down. Some people do get lucky. They remember what they have been thinking about. What they need to do once they are back.

About me, I am about 2 rides old. Both of them less than 100 Kms. And I cant even imagine the joy and pain of an overnight ride. What would motivate someone to ride an entire day, sleep with a stiff back and get up next morning to go through the ordeal all over again. And with no one around to boast about this ride. No certificates to show. No titles to chase or defend. The entire idea looks anti-civilization to me. Weren’t we suppose to settle down? Weren’t we supposed to be a part of a never-ending rat race? Weren’t we supposed to slog and slog till one day when we realize we are 80 and we did everything but know ourselves better? And come to think of it, why exactly would one want to know himself better?

Most riders, including myself don’t think all this when they plan a ride. They just do it. They just want to get away. They want to run. They want to see places. They want to explore. Each trip brings with itself its own set of discoveries. And each trip creates its own set of memories.

Like this Rabbi Shergill song … “jaddon na kujh agge disse tahiyon bandaa vekhe picche”. Literally translated, “When you can’t see ahead, that is when you think about your past”.

I read somewhere that us humans work towards only one thing – that we would be missed when we are not around. I think everyone is trying to be immortal. We are trying not to die. We are trying to stay here forever. The rides are probably a step closer to that ever-elusive immortality. Some get it, when they are riding. And some unlucky ones don’t. The lucky ones get their bragging rights. And unlucky ones, get to ride another ride. Not much to chose between the two if you ask me.

We live our lives trying to be someone we are not. We look at all the wonderful things around us and suddenly we think we are supermen. We can do everything that everyone else is doing. And excel at it. And compete with people who have spent their lives working towards getting just a slight edge over you. We are not born with biking in our DNA. We grow up and along the way see someone or experience something that tilts our needles towards biking. I think, like all the trips, this post needs to be left hanging in air. In anticipation.

Of what?
I don’t know. Yet.

I lied.

I lied.

I lied to her. I just did not know any other way to tell her that I am going. Away. Forever.

Apart from being a mere financial support to her, I was at times her emotional support, her agony aunt uncle, her baby-sitter, her friend, her doctor, her son and everything else.

I cant say I was being good at any of it but I made sure I did whatever I could. And now that I am going away, I realize that it is so easy for people to just move on. And very unlike what movies proclaim. Anyways, this is a rant for some other day. For the time being, I am sad that I had to lie and find an easy way out of the soup I was in.

I was told/taught/preached that truth never hurts nobody. I am no sage, no legend and I am not honest for sure. But truth, hurt me.

Phase 1, 2 and 3

When you are on a trip, there are three phases that you go through. More mental than physical, these phases are what it makes riding so special.

So Phase 1 is when you have just started the trip and you are dreaming of all the good things that you would go through during the course of the ride. You already start dreaming of time when your thoughts are racing ahead of your bike that fast that your mind becomes numb, the road blurs and the roar of the bike is no longer there. The bike becomes a part of your body and its sound, your heartbeat. You can feel it. You can feel it coming. You are anticipating for the happy times.

Phase 2 is the actual state of bliss. The state that you dream of when you just set out to ride. This phase lasts just about few minutes before you are interrupted but these minutes are something that make the entire ordeal worth it. Some might want to compare this pleasure with orgasm. This is the time when your thoughts actually start to flow. This is that mental state that all the sages try to achieve. The state when they say they have attained nirvana. When everything else ceases to matter. Everything is put on hold. You ignore everything. All things big and all things small. You live in the now. You become part of it. You are now. You don’t make any grandiose plans. Things become clear. Clouds start parting.

And then the Phase 3. It’s like coming back from heaven. Or from hell for that matter. This is the time when you start thinking what to do next. About the next destination and the next journey. This is when you start reflecting on things. And most of your introspection happens. This is where you think about things that you are running away from and things that you are running towards. This is where you decide you want to change jobs, marry her, create a company, get rich, quit, restart, change world. This is where you actually plan it. First. Thoughts just pop up. You never thought you would think about those things. You never imagined you could think about those things. They suddenly appear out of nowhere.

That’s a different story that most of them are gone by the time the dust settles down. Some people do get lucky. They remember what they have been thinking about. What they need to do once they are back.

About me, I am about 2 rides old. Both of them less than 100 Kms. And I cant even imagine the joy and pain of an overnight ride. What would motivate someone to ride an entire day, sleep with a stiff back and get up next morning to go through the ordeal all over again. And with no one around to boast about this ride. No certificates to show. No titles to chase or defend. The entire idea looks anti-civilization to me. Weren’t we suppose to settle down? Weren’t we supposed to be a part of a never-ending rat race? Weren’t we supposed to slog and slog till one day when we realize we are 80 and we did everything but know ourselves better? And come to think of it, why exactly would one want to know himself better?

Most riders, including myself don’t think all this when they plan a ride. They just do it. They just want to get away. They want to run. They want to see places. They want to explore. Each trip brings with itself its own set of discoveries. And each trip creates its own set of memories.

Like this Rabbi Shergill song … “jaddon na kujh agge disse tahiyon bandaa vekhe picche”. Literally translated, “When you can’t see ahead, that is when you think about your past”.

I read somewhere that us humans work towards only one thing – that we would be missed when we are not around. I think everyone is trying to be immortal. We are trying not to die. We are trying to stay here forever. The rides are probably a step closer to that ever-elusive immortality. Some get it, when they are riding. And some unlucky ones don’t. The lucky ones get their bragging rights. And unlucky ones, get to ride another ride. Not much to chose between the two if you ask me.

We live our lives trying to be someone we are not. We look at all the wonderful things around us and suddenly we think we are supermen. We can do everything that everyone else is doing. And excel at it. And compete with people who have spent their lives working towards getting just a slight edge over you. We are not born with biking in our DNA. We grow up and along the way see someone or experience something that tilts our needles towards biking. I think, like all the trips, this post needs to be left hanging in air. In anticipation.

Of what?
I don’t know. Yet.

On The Move

I wrote this last night while coming back from Hawk’s place. I was with Neo, when we had to stop and wait for a railway crossing to open.

Waiting for the railway crossing to open. Midnight. Love this feeling. Life has come to a stand still here because thousands of other lives are on the move. Some moving towards their home. Some moving away. And some going nowhere. And yet everyone has something in common. Pursuit of dreams. Pursuit of reason. Pursuit of happiness.

My previous biking posts

A, B and C

One of the latest pieces of work that has really caught the fancy of the world has been Anurag Kashyap and Abhay Deol’s Dev D. It is a story of this young lad, Dev, a rich dad’s poor little boy, an obsessive lover, an escapist, disillusioned by the world and in search for something that he calls love.

So much for Dev and his psychedelic life. Let me talk about me and a couple of my friends. Let me call these three people A, B and C. All three have a fairly enviable education background. All are beyond their prime now (28 types).

A works for India’s most visionary entrepreneur’s prodigal elder son’s one of million companies. This company is one of few organized players in India’s burgeoning retail market. A is one of the most extraordinary people that I have ever met. Although he doesnt put a lot of time and effort in coming up with insights and ideas but whenever he does so, he comes up with gem. His words are worth their weight in gold and diamonds and platinum. His thoughts are very clear and he knows what exactly he wants out of life and work. He is also one of the laziest people you would ever meet.

B works for a “conglomerate” with businesses ranging from chemicals to locks to rocket engines to foods to retail to real estate to medicine and to what not. If we legalized gambling and prostitution, they would have launched that too. Of course they would have put myriads of hierarchy and long designations for doing seemingly innocuous work. Anyways, B is an engineer by education, manager by designation and Shikari Shambhu by character. His sole aim in life is to make more money than anyone he knows, own the biggest house amongst his reference group and retire with enough in the pension fund. Nothing wrong about it. Just that its a different story that he is not doing anything about it.

C thinks that he hard to understand for most of the people that he knows. Including C himself. Actually that’s what C thinks. He is often branded random, frivolous and fickle minded. He is trying to ride some 19 boats at the same time and needless to say, failing at staying on course. He work a 8:30 to 5:30 job and leaves his office strictly at 5:30, goes to his place and stares at the wall and TV for about 5 hours before he sleeps.

So, three of us, our life stream can put any number of Devs‘ to shame. A typical day for each of us is VERY predictable. We probably are the cheapest targets for detective agencies. Sitting here, in my office, I can tell, with 100% certainty what the other two are upto. For example B is trying to scroll through his gtalk chat list thinking who he can chat up with. A would be out of his office smoking umpteenth cigarette of the day. I can also say for sure if you asked the other two about all three, everyone but A would know what others are upto. A’s secretary might have some answers.

Not that we dont try to break out of this monotony, its just that we are constrained by things that seem out of control and we dont even try to move out of the rat race. For A, its lethargy, for B, its security and for C, its, well he doesnt know.

Dev was better. He at least had an outlet in blur of alcohol. We dont.

P.S.: Title changed from “Putting Dev D to shame” to “A, B and C”

Futility of the Blip on Radar.

One fine day, when Mother Earth is going about its revolutions and rotations, the birds are trying to hunt for birdseed, millions of men and women would be running around doing meaningless work, trying to justify their jobs and existence, someone on the radar, a blip would flash brilliantly. And then it will fade away. To oblivion.

All the meaningless things (read cribbing, working, blogging, traveling, sleeping, walking, talking, writing, reading, justifying, even thinking) that we humans engage in, trying to follow the crowd, in hopes of leading the pack someday are futile. We are just trying to while away time. And mind, the machine needs constant motion. It needs some cranks, something or the other keep itself occupied. We oil it by indulging in mental masturbation. It takes different shapes for different people. Some people play cricket, some create companies, some donate their money, some are left in oblivion, some think they think what they are thinking and the things that they think and not really worth thinking, some travel, some sleep and many dream. Most work. Without realizing the futility. Of being just a blip on radar.