Thanks to Vijesh, I saw this talk where Anurag Kashyap talks about his journey in Bollywood. There are tons of lessons in there. I think you must check it out. This blog post is a list of lessons that I am taking away from it.
Here’s a list.
Once you know what you want to do in life (that’s where I think half the battle is), identify places where people who can help you find work on what you want to work on hang out. Spend time there. Offer them your services for free. Till a point, you become so important that you start getting the work you wanted. Aka, hustle. He says that he worked at Prithvi Cafe because that is where all the film-wallahs would hang out. And once he was there, he started to work for free, as a writer. Because he could write fast and did not ask for credit or money, he started getting work. And with time, he became important.
Always be available. Continuation from the first point.
No one owes you anything. If you want it, you better go work for it. Just because you want it, the world will NOT serve it to you on a platter. He gives an example of how people goto him and tell him that they want to make movies and he asks them, “who’s stopping you?”
He says that each choice has a consequence. And you have to know that you will have to live with and deal with those consequences.
Every time he would see resentment from people around him, he would move out from that clique.
Do things. And not just crib. Do not blame others. Do not abuse others. Don’t just cry that things are wrong.
Jugaad. How do you understand people and appeal to their desires deep down and get things done. He gives an example of how he got a digital camera for free by offering a role to the person who controlled the camera.
When you believe in something, you HAVE to stand up for it and fight for it. You HAVE to take responsibilities. This is my biggest takeaway.
Persistence is probably one of the most undervalued traits! Of course, you have to know what you really really stand for in life. And once you know what you believe in, you HAVE to persist with things!
When you fail, you don’t crib or moan. You go back to the drawing board and restart. As he said, the world does not owe you anything!
That’s about it. Do tell me what you take away from his talk. Over and out!
PS: This was first written for subscribers of my letters, SoGv2. More about em is here.
I did it.
The unthinkable.
The worst thing that I could ever do as a moviegoer.
I saw Veere Di Wedding (IMDB)!
Yeah, the same movie that has driven a wedge between the otherwise stable relationships of all the men and women that were living in peace and harmony. There are men dismissing the movie as a chick-flick. There are women defending the content. Then there are men siding with the film and there are women who are saying that modern girls around their 30s are not like how they’ve been portrayed.
Its a fascinating battle brewing and I would love to take a side but then I am not as educated or informed as the twitterati. Oh, my universe is limited to twitter only.
Why would I commit an atrocity of this magnitude on myself?
Well. Lesser said about it, the better. Now that its been done, it’s time to write a review. After I got some 300 odd hits on my review for Bhavesh Joshi, I have this career as a film-reviewer and I ought to stay with it.
So, the logline is, a group of four girl friends, each with a dysfunctional family, tries to come to terms with their respective issues as they come together for the wedding of one of the girls from the group. Neat. Sounds like fun. Similar to Dil Chahata Hai – a story of three friends trying to grow up as they make a trip to Goa.
Still from Veere Di Wedding
Like in DCH, there are these friends, there is banter and leg pulling and pranks. There is travel, there is music, there is emotions and there is a lot more jazz. No, not music but things that make movies, movies. But you know, this is where similarities end!
I’ll come back to it.
PS: If Farhan Sir is reading this, please excuse me. For I have sinned by comparing your masterpiece with this!
So, the friend I saw the film with, she said the film is inspired by the famous sitcom, Sex And The City. No, I haven’t seen the sitcom. But I am told that the even though it has a million episodes or something, sitcom stays true to the theme (of 4 middle-aged women trying to cope with relationships in a big, fast-paced city). Each has a set of relationship issues that needs sorting and the friends are the support system, the coping mechanism, the bouncing board and all that.
In VDW, while the inspiration is striking, the “episode” is just about 2 hours long, it veers all over the place. The characters are flat, the friendship bland and there is no support or coping or bouncing happening. Flat as in wine that’s been left in the open for too long. Bland as in cheese that’s been given too much air.
Coming back to DCH, the relationships (both between the set of friends and with others) were really deep. You could experience their elation, anguish, anger, happiness and all those things. In each scene. In each dialogue. In VDW, you cant remember if they were laughing in the previous scene or if they were crying. May be a gang of girls is like that? On a perpetual rollercoaster ride. I am not sure. At least the ones I hung out with were, are not like that.
In DCH, when the guys argue and fight and all that, you feel their anger and the pain. You can understand their actions. You know the dude has fucked up and you take sides. In VDW, the conflict, whatever little of it has been portrayed, is so weak that you don’t realize that it was the peak and the characters need to resolve it to take the story to the ending! Mr. Campbell must’ve turned in his grave. Of course not every story has to conform to his monomyth structure.
You know of those movies? Coming of age? Bildungsroman? May be VDW is an attempt in that direction? If it is, they ought to have spoken to Abhishek Kapoor. The guy, I think, has got coming of age right in India. You know of his repertoire?
Anyhow. The movie, ladies and gentleman is so ordinary that you can easily skip it!
If I were working on the project, what would I improve?
A lot!
A. The story to start with. Actually come to think of it, the story was ok, you could tweak it a bit. But screenplay needed a lot of work. It just couldn’t keep me interested. Despite all the gorgeous places that films has been shot at, all the color that is splashed around by the sets, all the banter between friends, all the mockery that they’ve made of the loud South Delhi culture, the film couldn’t keep my interest.
B. I’d definitely improve the on-screen camaraderie between these friends. I mean I’ve never been part of these pajama parties, as they call em, but I am sure they are lot more fun. The banter is forced. The dialogues are predictable. The lines are cliched. Apart from a bracelet with their initials and a painting by mothers of one of the friends, they don’t seem to have anything that identifies them as part of a clique. The screenplay should’ve established their friendship better and stronger.
C. The conflict, when it all was supposed to fall apart, when the friends fight, when they call names and all that, is so weak and so short-lived that you don’t even realize that it had happened. Compare it with DCH. There is a big-ass argument and a fight and it takes Herculean effort to fix! Here, in VDW, all it took was a holiday? A phone call? Come on!
D. There are some really bad product placements. When If you see the film, you will notice that there are scenes that have blatant and liberal placement for brands like Uber, Bikaji, Air India and others. And these are done so bad that you think you are in a 2-hour long advertisement. Someone needs to bring back the love and passion in the business of making films.
Lemme talk of each of the Veeres, as they call themselves.
The one with the cigarette.
I don’t know why one of the characters always had a cigarette around. In the loo, in the car, on the beach, on the bed, in the wedding. Ok, I know you want to establish her as a free-spirited woman (did you?), could you not find a better instrument than a cigarette? Or those Calvin Klein sports bras?
The bride.
Ok, you are scared of this whole thing called marriage. I understand. I actually think that her character was written well! I don’t have any complaints. But then, I also don’t really have any vivid memories of her after I’ve seen the movie. She is ordinary. You know how you have this salt-shaker on the dining table that no-one notices unless they need em? That!
The lawyer.
Sigh. Lesser said the better.
If you can’t seem to endure this blogpost, please skip to the bottom and do read the open letter that I’ve written to her.
The married one.
She is actually the best of the lot. Played her part well. Had better one-liners to deliver compared to others. I wish she had a meatier role. She could’ve held the story together. But then shes not a Kapoor you know. Or may be I am wrong. The point however remains that her character had hope and they fucked it up.
The good parts?
There are a few two. No, seriously. There are. Here’ a list.
A. There is this character called Bhandari.
He comes in rather late but when he does, he is probably what makes the film tolerable. He may sound crass, down-market, a letch or whatever but he is what he is. He’s done a great job – the kinds that would’ve taken a lot of effort to pull off. I want to see more of him. I actually miss him. He doesn’t have a lot of dialogues or scenes but every-time he comes up, you do take notice. He’s like that subtle flavour, seasoning in a complex dish that you cant put your finger on. But you know that the dish has the distinctive taste because of that one flavour. You know? The magic sauce? That!
B. I loved the cinematography!
The locations are breathtaking. The movie looks gorgeous. Of course the 4 ladies are pretty and all that but even if I removed them from the shots, the empty frames would look great! Its, as more established critics will say, is
So, the verdict?
Don’t go to a movie hall to see it.
Once its on Netflix, you may want to spend an evening fast-forwarding your way through it.
I’d give Veere Di Wedding a 1 star.
Also, I must say that I saw the film on a Tuesday night and the hall was almost half-full. Which is a lot considering its been a few days since the film came out. So maybe, there’s something there.
And while you are at it, you may want to see this review by this lady.
Oh, if despite the warning, you do decide to watch this, all the best!
Do let me know what you think.
I am @saurabh on twitter.
Thanks for reading!
SG
PS.: As I end this, there are two things that I want to talk about.
A, Please know that as a critic and a reviewer, I do not want to merely diss the creators. My intent of being a critic is not to discourage the ones that do the new. But to learn from them. And when its my turn to create, not repeat the mistakes. I subscribe to Anton Ego says about critics.
And B. As someone who’s had a crush on Sonam Kapoor K Ahuja since I was a child (when I first saw her in Pyar Ki Ganga Bahe), may I please write an open letter to her? Here goes…
Dear Sonam,
I really really love your sense of style. Plus I am a big fan of your smile. It is second only to Julia Roberts’ . The way you carry and conduct yourself? It is so unique that you’re one of your kind. Anyone would want to give their arm and leg to see you smile. I will.
But…
But could you PLEASE stop acting?
I mean take inspiration from your sister – Rhea. She is a producer. And she has chosen to remain that. What if you remain a mere socialite? and actually up the ante at those parties and charities and fashion events? Really! As a marketer, I really think that’s a greater opportunity for you. For every crappy film that you do, you reduce the brand value and you takeaway reasons from brands like Loreal et al to pull the plug. There is a limit to which that these brands can support you. No?
Oh, btw, even if you decide to continue working in films as an actor, of course as someone who loves you, I will continue to support you. All the best!
So yesterday, I saw Bhavesh Joshi. And this is the review.
I first heard about the movie was when I saw the trailer at one of the other movies that I saw a few weeks ago. Yeah, am watching a lot more movies.
Anyhow. So I saw the trailer and I knew I had to go see Bhavesh. And then I forgot about it. Till I met a friend who writes films (one feature under his belt, second underway) and he told me how Phantom is struggling with Bhavesh Joshi and its been stuck for 4 years and so on and so forth. No, I don’t know any more gossip and all that but they were struggling for sure.
So when yesterday a friend and I were deciding to go see VDW, somehow we realized that Bhavesh is also releasing the same day. And I tricked her into booking Bhavesh. Yay!
Yay for having avoided VSW VDW (the movie is apparently so bad that I even got the name wrong) which going by this review is a super decision (the review has since been deleted – I suspect the SM team from the VDW reached out to the lady ;P). But a big yay and a #selfPatOnBack.
But then, the yay was short-lived.
It lasted till the interval during Bhavesh – that’s when the movie starts going downhill. Like Jokersays, everyone is on the edge and all they need is a push. Bhavesh was teetering on the edge and dint even need the push. It just needed a whiff of air. And there was a fucking hailstorm blowing in Bhavesh’s face. A hailstorm made of poor story, lacklustre plot, ordinary acting and other pieces of mediocrity that you don’t typically expect from Phantom. I guess everyone has their ups and downs!
What the F! Its an Anurag Kashyap Vikramaditya Motwane film for fuck sake!
Wait. Stay with me. I’ll come back to it.
For the time being, here’s a one-line summary of the film, or the logline, as they call it in the industry. Bhavesh Joshi is a common-man turned vigilante that takes on the might of the politician-businessmen nexus hellbent on fucking with the city to make money.
I were a film producer and this logline was narrated to me, the first reaction would have been, “what a awe-fuckin-some idea!“. And then I would be shrouded in a heady mix of fear, awe and excitement.
Fear – has something like this ever been attempted in India?
No, not Krissh. It’s lame at another level that doesn’t even merit another word on this blog. Or on the whole of Internet. Not even in the history books that are often written at the behest of celebrities. Wait Mr. Garg. This is not about Krissh.
Can I make a film that is so simple and yet so complex? Am I evolved enough to handle? I would be afraid. Really.
Awe – what all can I do with it?
To the film maker in me, the logline makes me gasp at the tremendous opportunities that I can explore with the plot. I’d be awed by the shades of characters that I can create. It inspires awe by allowing me to explore dark themes that most other movies don’t allow me to.
Excitement – can I bring it alive?
Fear and bravado often gives way to daring. And that is where excitement is. Remember that excitement that Red talks about? In case you’ve lived under a rock, he says, “I find I’m so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain.”
I feel a similar excitement when I think about this logline, this plot! Can’t you feel it? The fear, the awe, the excitement?
Oh, and once these emotions have gone past me, I would let go of the opportunity to make this film. Really. Why? Because I wont have the balls to produce it!
No really. I wont. Its a very risky idea. Unless I have a lot of money that I can throw around, lose and not lose my sleep over it. Its not even a venture where I see a potential of a 10x return!
But if all producers were like me, no ambitious projects will ever get made! I love people like Phantom for exactly the same reason. Truth be told, the only reason I saw this was because only a Phantom could’ve dared to make a movie like this. Or may be Drishyam. These are the only two sets of people that try new things. Or like Apple said in one of their ads, “push the human race forward!”
Where I said no, they decided to back this up. They found the money. And the balls. And they jumped in.
And I thank them for that. For unless I had seen what Bhavesh is, I wouldn’t know what Bhavesh could be. As a writer, there are a million lessons in what not to do while working on a film (more on this later).
So, after all that ado for nothing, the movie, in one word is disappointing!
There is so so so (repetition on purpose) much potential in the movie that it could’ve been a legit competition to the likes of Batman. Just that it fails to go anywhere. Lemme make a list.
A. For starters, the movies lacks a credible and powerful villain.
Thing with Superheroes is that while they are awesome and do great things and all that, they need a villain (or an anti-hero) to be able to showcase their might, their strength and even their vulnerability.
I mean can you imagine a Batman without a Joker? Or a Sherlock for that matter without a Moriarty? There is no one that makes Bhavesh Joshi what he eventually becomes. Agree that he fights against a system, a set of people and all that. But is he up against a league A villain? No!
There is no challenge. There is just systematic pressure. There is no personality, no individual, no anti-hero that makes Bhavesh get out from the bed. I mean why does Bhavesh exist? He wants to do good. Ok. Who doesn’t? Ramu Kaka, the security guard from my building wants to do good and is willing to risk whatever when he feels that he’s been wronged!
B.Characters are not memorable.
There are times that you feel for the characters and their respective losses but the characters are not memorable at all. I saw the movie last night and even though its not been 24 hours since, I cant seem to remember one great thing that any of the characters said. Or did. Or stood for.
Ok I agree that Bhavesh stood for something but then is that what I want to take away from a Superhero movie? No way man! Remember my Ramu Kaka? Bhavesh. That!
C. Too long.
The movie has at least 3 long scenes that do not add one bit to the story. I mean they were shot in typical Tarantino-meets-Slumdog cinematic style and had one or two fine moments. But…
But did they add to the story? No.
But did they establish Bhavesh? No.
But did they help make the villain more villainous? No.
No.
No and no.
And more no.
Why did they put those shots? To make it dark? To give me that adrenaline rush? To ensure that the movie is 2 and half hours long? Come on!
D. The post-interval snafu.
The movie was a great watch till the time interval happened.
From the very beginning, the story progresses at a snail’s pace but since they were still building the narrative, it was ok. I could understand. But once the conflict had reached the high point and I was hoping for a masterful resolution, the nudge from that edge, those winds start blowing. The movie, like I said already, goes downhill. So downhill that I am beginning to question the genius of Anurag Kashyap Motwane.
That’s about it from me.
Oh, the music by Amit Trivedi – Amitabh Bhattacharya duo is great as always. The background score could’ve been far better. The acting is ok – like I said, no character stands out. There aren’t any moments that you retain after you’ve watched the movie. You don’t even feel sorry for their loss. And neither do you feel any elation for their victory.
Bhavesh Joshi may be a Superhero that we need (in the Indian cinema) but we definitely deserve someone better than Bhavesh. Oh, I’d like to create one. Anyone wants to collaborate? I am @saurabh on twitter.
To end this longish review, I’d give Bhavesh Joshi 2 stars out of 5.
But please do see the film. Its brave. Its an interesting story that you often don’t get to see coming out of India. And the movie makes me hopeful that cinema in India will continue to do well. Oh, and Thank You Anurag, Vikramaditya and others for Bhavesh Joshi. I will want to see more from you. And hopefully, soon.
On more thing. Of course I remain a mere critic and like I do in most reviews that I do, lemme quote Anton here. He says, “In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face is that, in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new. The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations. The new needs friends…”
Over and out.
Saurabh Garg
2 Jun 2018
PS: If I were to work on the plot, I would make following changes to the script.
1. Add more shades of dark to the villains. I’d actually create an anti-hero that the audience roots for. Something that divides the audience on their opinion. You know Joker? Whatever he says, speaks or does is rational and logical. Remember Thanos from the recent Avengers? You actually want the villain to win. You fight with your friends and you are not sure what is good and what is bad. You want to get aligned to their “cause.” Bhavesh needs a cause. A thing that an aam-aadmi wants to get attached to.
2. I wont Indianise the script or the plot. I will not put a love angle when its not required. There is that mandatory girlfriend. Why? Why do we need her? Why does Bhavesh need her?
3. I will make the script credible. You are telling me that the person could sit in the airport and hack the immigration system? You tell me that you could be on a run for a few weeks and you could still eat a vada-pao without looking over your shoulders? You don’t leave fingerprints all over the world and while the the cop knows when to call the immigration system, he doesn’t know when to summon the forensics experts?
Oh and the alternate ending? I have it written. Just that I don’t want to publish is here and spoil the film. Write to me (@saurabh on twitter) and I will mail you back.
P.P.S.: I made this mindmap while I was writing the review. In case you want to see, its available for free for you to download. You’d need www.xmind.net (free) to see / edit it. Do tell me if you find this useful.
