First World Problems

The Sleeping On Streets Story (in Title Case)

Of course you know that I am homeless. Will be till the 20th. And while it’s an amazing feeling to have and I loved the idea of it when I was staring at the homelessness, now that I am living through it, it sucks.

Like S. U. C. K. S.

Really.

I know this is not how I imagined homelessness to be. I had high hopes from the experience. Heck, I even romanticized it a few days ago (on this blogpost). And the romance was gorgeous af (need to up my vocabulary. To do that, need to read more. To do that, need to make more time. To do that… wait. Get back to writing).

But now that I am actually homeless, like I said, it sucks.

No I cant do anything that could change and get me a roof. I will have to slog it out for three more days.

But what I can do, is reflect on how and why this happened. And talk about the mistakes that I’ve made! And list all those other thoughts that are clouding my head. So, here’s a list.

A. I fucked up.
At so many levels that I am questioning all those things (books, blogs, podcasts) that I consumed around decision making. I shouldve been wiser and shouldve taken a better decision. I mean I could have avoided this situation so easy that if someone else took the decision that I took, I would’ve castrated them!

I had a thousand options to choose from and I took the worst of them all.
The future landlord did offer me an alternate accommodation.
Dipanker suggested that I move to Delhi (and thus get some work done while am homeless).
Vivek gave me unrestricted access to his house, his car.
Ankit stuck with while I was on the road.

I had a thousand options. What did I choose? The American Dream!

B. Faith got reiterated in the fact that I am destiny’s child.
When this entire house-hunting was happening, I needed some working capital to pay for the move. I could’ve taken it out from work but I did not want to touch the money that is meant for the business. And this is when Universe stepped in.

I got some unexpected work from a client that I hadnt spoken to in a while (that I think is Universe’s way of paying me when I am in need) and while it was a small ticket project, I made enough money to pay for the move, the fuel (since I lived in the car for a few days), the hotel (because I cant live at shady places) and all the coffee that I have consumed (because I am working from the likes of Starbucks et al).

C. Empathy for the ones that dont have a place
This entire concept of not having a roof on my head was alien to me.

Since I can remember I had a decent enough place to live at. As I grew up and grew in life, my wants have grown and thankfully ~~I have been able to grow my resources~~ resources available to me have grown to be able to afford the wants (well, almost. I have always been short by about 50%). So I dont know how it feels to not have a bed to go back to.

But what about the ones that don’t have a house, a roof?

I routinely see people sleeping on the streets. So many of those, at almost all cities in India that I have grown a blind spot to cover the homeless. I’ve dismissed their existence and justifying their misery by telling myself that if anyone is poor in this day and age, it is because of their respective shortcomings. The world is rife with opportunities and while you may not be able to make a billions dollars, you can make enough to have a decent place!

I think this needs to change. My thinking I mean. I need to have a little more empathy for people who are on the streets. No one wants to be on the streets.

I need to find ways to get them to rise. Get them gainful, meaningful and respectable employment. That gives them enough to have a bed to sleep on and a roof to give them shelter.

And how would I do it?
I dont know.
But I do know I have to work on this. Maybe if I can sort the education piece, I would have found a solution to a lot of other issues. Including homelessness. Lets see.

In the end,
Finally, as I edit this, I realise that while I may not feel too good about who I am living right now, I have a lot going on for me.

I know that what keeps me occupied and busy and all that (house hunting, operational shite and all that) is far far apart from what my ambition, #lifeGoal is (make the world a better place by inspiring others and give them the shoulder that they need), I do have a lot. For example, I have enough (friends, money, capability et al – in that order) that despite not having a home, a house, I have slept well.

So yeah, thank you, Universe. I hope that the sunshine stay on me. Just that I need to make better decisions.

Till then, over and out.

Rant on Digital India

This is a long rant on my inability to get a half-decent Internet connection. Read at peril and with caution. Lots of cuss words.

Context
So, ladies and gents, as you may know, I am a computer-science graduate. I run an events agency and a digital marketing business. All my life’s content is on a cloud storage. I use a iPhone as comfortably as a fashion model handles those stilettos on a ramp. I live at a pretty affluent neighbourhood in Mumbai in an even more affluent apartment complex (rented, shared and “semi-furnished”). I use Vodafone as a mobile-service provider, which is probably amongst the top 3 telcos in the world and is generally priced at a premium. My sis worked for Vodafone for 5 years. My ex-roommate continues to head one of the most important divisions there. A really good friend from MDI heads a product division there. So, I am pretty connected at Vodafone. I get access to a level of service that most others dont. And yet! I will come back to this.

The rant!
The place where I live, that locality is “owned” by this politician that controls everything happening around here. Might sound like bullshit in this day and age but he does. From the maids to shops around the building to servicemen to nariyal paani wala to brokers to the fucking Internet Service Provider, all are controlled by him. And since he controls the shit, he can actually choose who delivers what service to the complex. Including the ISP.

But I did not know this when I moved here. In fact when I moved, I had to choose between his ISP and MTNL (the state-owned-operated telco). The commonsensical man in me told me that MTNL is of no use and I must get the alternative. And I promptly did that. Little did I know that his ISP is probably the most fucked up I’ve ever experienced. Bad speed, unreliable service, unresponsive support staff that doesn’t know an IP address from a MAC address (wait, do I know? I dont. But am I a service provider?).

So after a month or so, I moved to MTNL, which is another story in itself. I will not digress. When MTNL started giving me trouble, I started looking for alternatives. And this is when I realised his clout. Apparently if you want to operate in the complex as an ISP, you have to use said politicians’ ISP as support network and of course they can hold you ransom. And no, I am not making this up. They did that to me. I was not allowed to get a new connection (from a different company) because I refused to pay for shoddy service.

Oh, the most established ones, the Airtels of the world do not provide internet because they dont have enough subscribers. Why? Because everyone else in the complex is using either the politicians’ broadband or MTNL and no one seems to be bothered about it.

This is where I could have relied on Vodafone. I am happy paying for a service that I use. And I am super happy paying for Internet, well its the lifeline. But Vodafone is another story. I do not get coverage at my place. Apparently the floor I live at is very high for them to ensure connectivity. No, they do not know that these days planes that fly at 33000 feet or something have fast mobile connections and Internet. They just cant ensure connectivity on the 24th floor. So when am home, I am living in a cage – no Internet (because of what I said above), no mobile (because Vodafone cant put a booster for just one house, even though my ARPU is like 5000 bucks and on top my sis knows EXACTLY the guy who can make it happen).

And when I am out, couple of days ago, Vodafone decided that I have exhausted all mobile data (even though their official app shows that I have data left) and I am downgraded to 2G. And no, I cant buy more packs as the packs are already active on my connection. So, all in all, I am pretty handicapped right now. My work is suffering – no I am not giving bahanas – I am just lamenting.

As a result, here I am. On a day when we are celebrating our constitution. Forced to workout from a business that is American and yet has found a way to operate in India. Irony much?

Anyhow. So, while we usher in the cashless economy and digital India (which I totally support), I remain in the dark ages. And I realise that I will continue to do so till the time I become someone who can influence things around him. For starters, grow the balls to tell the politician to fix things. I cant even do that. I choose to remain a faceless blog on the Internet and do a fucking candle-light march of the blogosphere.

And if you are living in an illusion, no, we are not yet free. We are not yet republic. We are and we shall remain in the dark ages till we sort us the people who cede the power and control and respect to a handful few.

Because of all this, my work suffer — I refuse to budge down and get a connection from the said person (and Vodafone can’t help). I refuse to give him my business. I know that my 1500 bucks a month is not significant to the billionaire politician (who apparently owns 2 benami flats in the said complex). I in my head is making a change. I dont know if this change will impact anyone in the long run. The point is, I am without an Internet connection. And there is no solution. Even if I throw money at it. So yeah. Damn!!

Over n out.

Posted from a Starbucks outlet – because they have a ISP that actually works. And no, its not owned by a politician. And no, the ISP is not Vodafone India.

Filed under: Urban Poor, First World Problems, Internet, Vodafone, ISP, Rant

The Paycheck Puzzle

Rat Race. Source: Unknown. Found here.

In my entire life, since I started working, I have never had to wait for a paycheck. I have been lucky like that. Not that I had things in abundance but I did have enough to not worry about that one tranche of payment at the end of the month. May be because I got a head start (I do not contribute anything to my home) and I’ve largely been prudent.

In fact, I want to claim that everytime I have needed money, I’ve somehow got it from some unexpected source. No, I don’t win lotteries or get estates from old uncles but I do get some unexpected work (freelance). Or some deferred payments comes through or some refunds happen. Somehow, something has happened and I’ve got money.

But lately I am having issues. First a freelance job that gave me a regular trickle of money every month, I was fired from it. Second I made some unnecessary expenses at the behest of some friends; the expense was totally unjustified and sad part is that I can’t get a refund on it and I will have to live with it. Finally, I did not plan things well. I kept delaying things, hoping that they’d fall in place by themselves. They did not and I am thus reeling under the pressure.

All these, things, have made me a slave to paycheck that is supposed to come at the end of every month. I started a new naukri and it’s been a month. Well almost. The paycheck is due and I am waiting for it desperately. It’s actually the 5th day of the month already and money is nowhere in sight. However, the overdraft on my credit card is staring in my face. Oh, I am behind on the rent. And I could do with some new clothes. The phone needs to be replaced and the computer that I loaned from sis is almost broken. The list just goes on. I will not bore with details but the matter of fact is, I need money. Side note. I think I also need a year off.

I have no clue how the rest of the world lives their life waiting for a paycheck. Total respect AND pity towards the ones who do. My folks did the same and most people around me do it. And no one seems bothered about it. I have no clue how they do it. The damn rat race is so evident and I am now a part of it. Existential crisis is so not happening. That too, first thing in the morning!

On an average, during the day, I think that I can change the world. I really mean it. I really think that I can add a lot of “value” to whatever I do. I believe I am gifted like that. I have no shame in saying so. Neither am I proud about it. I just know that I’ve been given a gift and I am not using it. And I am stuck in this mindless chase to nowhere. If I were any less, I would’ve accepted things and would have done haalat se samjhauta. But I can’t. I know I can do lot more. I don’t know when or how though. Any help anyone?

While I finished posting this, I am still refreshing my bank account page every thirty seconds. Hoping for a miracle that somehow some money would land in the account and I would ward off the creditors for a bit, before they are back, next month. And the month after that. While I am still waiting for my paycheck to happen!

Oh, and just yesterday I met someone who told me that great men like Anurag Kashyap and others had to sleep on the kitchen floor for years. And for every great man who’s made it big, there are a million others that die an anonymous death. Can I take hope from their lives? I don’t even know what I am rambling.

More later!

P.S.: These days I think a lot about money and life and other things. Don’t know what’s up!

P.P.S.: Things aren’t that bad to be honest. Most of my issues are first world problems really. Some other such problems are here.