Fitness – 922

Time flies…

Hello! Been a while since I last wrote. Last I wrote was on the last day of the last month.

Time is flying so fast it’s not funny. Last I remember I was sitting down for a session with Anjum Sir to learn about screenwriting (this was on last Sunday) and when I looked at the calendar, I realized its Friday morning! 5 days flew as it if were riding on a HummingBird or whatever is the fastest bird that you know of! I did not move an inch on things that I was supposed to work on. I did not read a damn thing. I did not listen to a single podcast. I did not write the logline for #book2. I did not try to eat less or workout more. I was fucking vegetating.

I know time goes by faster if you are old but I did not know it would be this fast. No wonder old age sucks! You have less time left to live and that too goes past by fast! As double a whammy as you can imagine.

I think its also a function of the state of mind you are in. And the last few days have been anything but good. There’s just way too much happening and there’s way too much inaction at the same time. The two ought to be in this harmonious tension if you have to spiral up in life. But in my case, there is no harmony and a lot of tension! And I don’t know what to do to get out of this whirlwind. And you know that pride that I hold dear to me? That is letting me not seek help. The thing is, I dont know what help I need!

Anyhow. Sob story.

Let’s talk of more urgent matters. Health. So, if you are a reader here, you would know of my ambitions to do things like climb the Mt. Everest, run Marathons and all that. I want to add a few things to the list. To start with, I want to be able to do a few push-ups or chin-ups. Right now, I am unable to do even one. Like other things, it’s a function of time, practice, and persistence. The three things that I don’t have. Plus health is a function of a lot of other things – sleep, diet, discipline et al. Again, I am not the best case study when it comes to these. I have started a million times in the past and failed at each attempt. To a point that I’ve even ended up unwell as a result of these trials.

The point? Starting today I am going to try all over again. The fitness bit I mean. The easy things are diet and sleep. I will get back to low-carb, IF today on. And try for a 7-hour sleep routine. Lemme report back in a week and see if I see any change in myself.

Till then, over and out 🙂

Previous posts that I wrote during the lockdown are – 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 10, 11, 19, 30, 32, 34, 35, 37, 39, 45, 47, 57, 63, 64, 69

Thank you, Ashima

Post 3 of #sg100peopleToThank. More about this series is here.

Thank you, Ashima!

I went to MDI with Ashima. Among all the 150 odd people that were in the batch, Ashima was one of those that ignored my ignorance and tolerated me. And continues to tolerate me after all these years. And even though it’s been almost 14 years, she remains my shrink, my doctor, my advisor, my bounding board and my fitness consultant. Every time I have a thing that requires me to goto a doc, I just call Ashi (that’s what I call her) and get help. And it works every time. I think, in one line, I can say that she’s an integral part of my support system!

What makes Ashi amazing is that she is one of those few people that had the guts to take the tougher path (I wish I could write more about this – this is a public platform) and choose her fitness, her life over everything else.

I don’t really have too many words (I wish I could write more) but I do have mad respect for what she stands for and what she does for me. Ashima has taught me what amounts to being friends. She has been like a rock that has stood by me through thick and thin. And for that, and for more that I cant write about here, Thank you, Ashi.

Others posts in this series: 1, 2

The Fitness Inspiration

Everyone I know around me is on the fitness bandwagon.

And why not. As societies and humans evolve and you rise up the Maslow’s pyramid, you look at things that you could do to make life better and simpler and more fulfilling. And to be able to able to do that, you ought to be in the prime of your health. Health is an enabler if nothing else.

I have been unwell past few days and the impact and the effect that it has had on how I work and on my productivity has been visible. Not just to me. But to the ones around me. My team, my employers and all that. And it’s not a great feeling. And I feel so helpless, so constrained that I don’t know what to do.

And the funny thing is that every day I meet someone that has sort of transformed their lives using fitness as a tool.

Exhibit A. The marketing God.
Yesterday I met this guy who is like a marketing genius. He loved his alcohol, still loves his smokes and had this super unhealthy lifestyle that most advertising professionals have. Last I saw him, he was a fit dude. You would call him anything but fat. Yesterday? He was a transformed man. There were cheekbones, veins popping out of his arms and legs, thin frame that could not hold even a medium sized tee. At first, I thought he was unwell. But then he told me that he’s off cigarettes, alcohol and any sort of oil for more than 6 months. And that has made all the difference.

He also said something interesting. He said that food used to be an ingredient required to keep us alive (like water and air). Just that over time marketers and the vain ones have made food into an experience. And of course, if YNH is to be believed, its food that domesticated us. Not us who tamed agriculture. It’s a powerful idea if you think about it. Thank God that I am not that sold into this entire experience thing.

Exhibit B. Shatrujeet Nath – the popular author!
I haven’t met him in a while but his Facebook post told me that he can now do a plank for like 5 minutes. In the world of planking 5 minutes is like an eternity. Last time I tried a plank, I herniated my intestines. And Shatru is someone who loved his cigarettes and old monks. Oh, he’s off the smokes as well. It’s been a year now. Fuck! Mad! Respect!

Exhibit C. Someone who’s not fit.
There is this friend who just started on this super amazing, life-changing opportunity. And when I met him yesterday, instead of being ecstatic about things, he was unwell and miserable. Physically. Not in the head. And the reason was that he’s unhealthy. And not because he smokes or whatever. But he loves his food. And eats whatever moves. As long as it is vegetarian. And all the food that he eats gets accumulated and fucks with his systems.

Exhibit D. Saurabh Garg. Hello 🙂
If I am to get close to my life mission, I HAVE to live long. And not just live long, but be healthy. And I have so much inspiration around me. There are these Silicon Valley icons that I respect and want to emulate (Kevin, Larry, Sergey, Peter, Tim and others) and yet I can’t seem to get going with a fitness routine.

I have so many friends that I am surrounded by, that believe in fitness more than anything else. So much so that it is central to their existence. Abhinav, Amol, Ashima, Bhaargav, Harshit and others. You talk to them and all they can talk about is how it’s imperative to work on the health and nothing else. They get up early, do their workout, eat well, take supplements, sleep on time and all that.

I even have a few strangers that have been egging me to run with them. And yet I can’t do it.

I have so much motivation around me that I should just start running and never stop. You know, like Forrest. And yet, for some reason, I can’t seem to get a regular workout done. I have tried and failed to continue. I fucking need that zabardast toofan to get me out of my slumber!

Come on, Universe!

#SoG42 – Personal Fitness

This is one of the emails that I send to some friends and strangers. The emails are based on one thing that I learnt in the day and how that could be applied to becoming better versions of self. If you want to get these emails, please lemme know (on twitter).

#SoG 42 – Personal Fitness This one comes at the request of one of the readers. She says she’s saturated with all the “heavy” things and needs something lighthearted. And thus, this one is aimed to be that.
Lemme start with a question.
When was the last time you threw up? And what did you do that made you throw up?
Most common answer would be, after a party. Some months ago. After all most recipients on this letter are sane!

When did I last threw up? Today morning! I dont know if I have mentioned this earlier but one of my #lifeGoals is to climb the Mt. Everest.
And then if that goes well, probably goto other peaks.
But Everest to start with. And I WILL do it before Jan 1, 2026.

This means that when I take the shot at it, I need to have about 60K USD + inflation + whatever else is required, 3 months of free time where I can make the attempt and most importantly, be in the prime of my health! Health means fitness, stamina, will power etc.

And that is what I have started to work on from this December.
I am on Keto Diet (to help get back in shape).
I ensure that I walk 8 KMs everyday.
And finally, today I started with Cardio. HIIT.
Went to a class and all that.
At 6 AM. In the morning.
Like a hipster – in Decathlon shorts (black), black Nike training shoes and a black Nike dry-fit tee.
It was so black that my bald head was reflecting the mood of the moon.
Blacker than the blackest black you’ve ever seen.
Thats not the point.

Point is, we started at 6.
Did some warm up and while doing do, I was sure that I will kick ass of everyone else around.
It seemed so easy.

Till we reached a point where the trainer asked us to do burpees. Now burpees is nothing too difficult. We’ve seen enough and more people do it on them youTube videos. No? All you do is jump, kneel down on all four and extend your legs backward. Then up get up again, jump, kneel, leg extension. In that order. Over and over again. Its that simple. Try it. Its like a cake walk. I knew I could do a 100 of those if I had to.

I was like, bring it on.

First one was great. I jumped so high I touched the clouds. Kneeling was easy-peazy. I suck at push-ups (throwing my legs back to stretch seemed like a push-up to me, so will use push-up to talk about it) but I did that one fairly easy. I was feeling good. The best day of my life! I could see the Mt. Everest.

Second was even better. I jumped and I felt like Icarus. And I think I did the push-up faster than you can say push-up. I could see myself as Farhan Akhtar doing those 100 reps. I was on my second. 98 more to go.

And on the third, I was going to launch myself out of the space with the jump. Which I think I did. And I went down to prep for the push-up. And… and, I passed out.

Well, not really. But I knew I’ve had enough.
I couldnt continue.
And I took the permission from the trainer and sat.
And I promise you, the gut was in my mouth and I was this —> <—- close to throwing up.
And may be I did. I dont know if I did.
I was in that delusion-ary phase where you just want to lie on your back and gasp for air and nothing else matters.

Ladies and gents, in less than three burpees, I was dead.
People around me may have done 5. Or 50. We’d never know.

But I have not lost hope. I will prevail. It was Day 1. And I hate stasis.

Wish me luck! See you tomorrow.

Thanks,
@saurabh

Letter 8 / 3 Nov 2018. On Cricket.

This is an edited version of a letter than I sent to a closed mailing list. I try to write one everyday to a select set of people. Should you want to get one in your mailbox, please do let me know. The first letter is here. A complete archive is here.
So, I played cricket today. Properly. Bowled, batted and all that. Must have played after a year. And back then, about a year ago, when I played, I would’ve played after decades. With a S. More than one. Serious.

Here are the things that I take away from the experience. Lol. Experience 🙂

A. I enjoy physical activity. I love to move around.
And contrary to what people close to me believe, I am not inherently lazy – its the heat that has made me lazy. And I hate wearing shoes or too many clothes. If I could live in a cold country, I promise I would dress up well and even wear shoes. And I would love to move around.

B. My game sucks.
Of course there are no surprises. If it dint suck, I wouldnt be here. Writing about the experience. But today, it sucked so bad that I am embarrassed. Well, I have never been a batsman but I used to be a pretty handy bowler. And I was a brilliant fielder if nothing else. While I bowled ok today, and batted as expected, I was probably the worst fielder that I have ever been. There was no hand-eye coordination, something that I have been proud of all my life. I MUST improve. And no, I cant really “practise” but I need to get better. May be if I get regular things will improve?

C. My fitness sucks more than I suck at the game.
If I dont get regular and dont improve, I guess it will be ok. I am anyway way past my prime and I cant even imagine playing at the highest levels. But the game today made me realise how unfit I am. And at all levels. Thankfully I wasnt really panting (maybe I dint run too much?) but I couldve run faster, been more agile, fielded better! And after the game, each part of the body was hurting. And hurting as in HURTing. If I had a “functional” home, I would have sprayed myself all over with some painkiller or something. I even wished I had a masseuse to ease the pain. And although its past 11 (and thus about 12 hours since the game ended), my ankles, tendons, calves, knees and the back still hurt like crazy. Well, the Achilles tendon and the knee’s been giving me problems for some time but the calf and the back is new. Side note. When I wear the Nike sneakers, the pain is little bearable. I need to wear them more often, once the weather becomes bearable.

In fact, here’s a lesson. Things that connect you to the ground (Earth), you MUST not compromise and invest into getting the best possible alternative.

A few things that “connect” you to the ground are mattress (and the bed), shoes, chairs, footwear etc.

I dont recall where I read this first but more I think about this, more sense it makes. Its cool if you want to buy a cheap phone, shabbily made dress etc. But your feet take the most of the grunt in the day. You better have great shoes. And no, not fancy or goodlooking ones. But functional ones. And the only two brands that I recommend are Nike and Crocs. Ditto for mattress. And chair. Think about it. Use logic.

D. I love my mornings! I may claim to love nights but I love my mornings even more. To the point that the day my mornings dont go as per plan, the entire day is wasted. Take today for example. In my scheme of things, mornings are not meant for exercise et al. But then a game like Cricket requires a team and for most others, morning is where fitness takes priority!

Coming back. The days I cant get up early and step out of the house and get some things done, I feel terrible and the entire day gets “wasted”. I mean today, all I have done is write for a bit, worked on SoG for a bit and agonised in the pain inflicted by the minuscule amount of cricket that I played!

If I were to club A, B and D, I need to probably find a sport that makes me move around and can be played at afternoons. Or late evenings.

And you could try and understand if you are a morning person or a night person. How do you find out? Not through what you love. But as Charlie says, invert! Question to ask yourself is, “fucking what part of the day affects you the most?” For me, its the morning! You?

E. Sports bonds people like nothing else.
The people I played with, they were probably aged between 20 and 45. And from different backgrounds, interest areas, personalities, varying degree of proficiency and all that. But while playing, most of them had the single-minded focus of the game. And they could do whatever for their team to win. They dint think about their differences and they came together to focus on the game!

Can I take lessons and use sports as as tool to make my team at C4E and all other initiatives more tight-knit?

I have seen team-building games in action at most of the events that I have worked on as an event manager but most clients do it as mere lip-service. They do it once a year and hope for miracles. Can I use create an ongoing intervention that makes my team come closer? Need to think.

And, having said that, I know that sports can also create great divides. I saw it happen today. And we all know about “enmity” between fans of competing teams! So, need to put some thought!

So yeah, thats about it for the day.

Over and out.

The unbearable difficulty of being me!

The title is inspired by this book by Kundera. Do read in case you get an opportunity – its a fascinating read. The kinds that I would love to write some day. May be book 5 or 6. Dont know which one. Anyhow, coming back to the task at hand, it is NOT easy being me. There are multiple dimensions to it. But let me talk about one in particular – The way I dress up.

There are two kinds of people in the world. The ones who love the way I dress. And the ones who hate the way I dress. The former is an exclusive club where I think the sum total of all members is about 1. The later, well, it unites everyone like no other religion has ever united men and women – they come together in their hatred for how I dress.

But of course I dont understand the malice. I mean, what’s wrong in wearing a pair of red shorts and bright green tee? I dont know why a pair of shoes is such an important part of your attire that you cant enter an “exclusive” club without it. I still refuse to believe that I cant spend my entire life in a pair of shorts and a white cotton tee-shirt. I mean whats wrong about it? And what is this entire thing about judging people on the basis of clothes you wear? The other day the guard at my building told me that if he dint know me by face, he wont let me enter the housing complex. I mean, really? Am I my clothes? The way I dress up?

The other piece about my dressing up is that I do not spend a lot of money on clothes – I dont feel the need. I have exactly one pair of denims, 6-7 shirts and 6-7 tees. I wear the same pair of denims to work, to parties, to meetings, to market and to all such places where you expect a man to “dress us.” I do not have jackets. I do have a formal pair of trousers, reserved for super special occasions like weddings of close friends etc. Last I wore it was a year back when Gandhi got married. And next time I am going to wear it is when another super close friend / relative gets married – even if its in 2020.

So, this past weak, the only pair of denims I have, it got torn. And since I cant wear a tattered pair of clothing to work (why not?), I had to buy one. And this is where the other part of difficulty of being me came up. I can NOT shop. I am ok dying, ok with public speaking, ok with a bungee jump, I am not frightened by the prospect of asking a girl out, but I cant shop. I cant goto store, try multiple options and then choose one and come back. Its a chore. Its an unnecessary evil.

The other hard part is that I cant outsource it to someone as because my body type is unique. I have short legs, big thighs and a heavy paunch. The fit thus is like piecing together a jigsaw. And there are like handful options, that many brands, that much patience. Yesterday, I did venture out to a mall and I did try 4-5 pairs. But none fit in and I could not buy. And I feel sad about it. I feel dejected. I feel so stupid that I want to take the pledge to lose weight and fit into every available skinny fit pair of denims. Or still better, ask someone to pick a pair of denims per my waist size. Yeah! That’s gonna be better. Aim for a waist size and fit into every available pair of denim for that size.

Game on, Mr. Garg.

P.S.: The other difficulties of being me, lemme talk about them as and when I get time.
P.P.S.: Good to be back to writing! This is the second day on the trot and I must continue the momentum.

I. Yoga.

Image Credits: Anonymous. Found here.

Ladies, gentlemen, friends, fellow countrymen and other minions of the world,

With one simple stroke, a sheer brilliant one at that, I have done the impossible. I have dislodged Nidhi Kapoors, Arvind Kejriwals, Sections 377, Tarun Tejpals and other such news hogs of the world from their usual position on the top of my mind. And replaced all those with one word. Fitness. And replaced all the thoughts with one thought only. I need to get fit. And replaced all my frivolous actions with one. Chase of personal excellence. Ok scratch that personal excellence bit.

In short, I have now joined a fancy Yoga training regime. And I have been doing it for a week. And I am loving it.

The regime includes alternate day visits to a yoga studio about 25 KMs from where I live, at 7 in the morning. At the studio, I have a personal instructor that spends anywhere between 20 minutes and one hour with me and works on my breathing, poses and peace. All of this, in attempt to make me healthy, peaceful, effective and better.

And if I could make an confession, even though its just been a week, it has been amongst the best experiences that I have had in a long long time. Its been so good that I am wondering why din’t I do this sooner. Actually, for the sooner bit, I have no one but myself to blame. I thought yoga was yet another Indian thing that the new media and collective conscious of the modern, evolved, educated world has made popular (other things include naturopathy, homeopathy, social media, Arvind Kejriwal etc). But like they say, if something has to happen, it will happen. I was ~~nudged~~ pushed into this amazing world of yoga and I have been enjoying it immensely.

It did not come easy to be honest. My sis had to pester me forever to go join the classes. sgMS had to consistently ignore my existence and my attempts to woo her back. A cute stranger with beautiful hair and smile had to remind me that I am fat and ugly, when I made a pass at her. My folks had to get angry and inform me of my limited and fast-dwindling supply of money. Nidhi Kapoor had to remind me that I have made no progress, no breakthrough in the story, even though I am so close to the deadline. My body had to remind me that I am not young anymore. In short, everything that I care for, except that stranger with long hair, was gaping at me and questioning my choices in life.

I did not see a way out and initially joined these classes to shut all these people up. You know how it is when you think you know better than anyone else and you do something just to stop all the noises in your head?

In terms of doing it, I do it with all seriousness that you expect from a 31 year, balding, single, almost poor man. The one that starts with pumping a mini fortune, buying ALL the equipment that you may potentially need in the next ten years that you’d do it seriously. And the one that ends next day, at all that equipment getting stowed in crevices and shelves in your house that you never knew existed. You know, I have all the paraphernalia. An expensive yoga mat, a set of clothes made by a brand that only makes and sells yoga merchandise, expensive music bought from iTunes that helps me in meditating, an acupressure chappal that is more expensive that a Nike and a routine that has made me start questioning my erstwhile choices in life.

But now that I am doing it, I dont see myself not doing it ever. Ever. I just need to figure out if yoga can help me fix my bald head!

Warm Regards,
Saurabh “Nouveau Riche” Garg

Oh, one more thing. You may want to give it a shot. Trust me its awesome! And watch out for more posts on yoga in the next few days.

I am alive!

I am alive.

Not alive as in experiencing the Icelandic colds or doing the African safari or living the American dream etc but alive as in breathing and standing on my feet. If the past few days are any indication, I would’ve been dead by now.

What started as a bout of fatigue from a long drive in the hinterlands on a car clearly not suited for the purpose, turned into a case of acute diarrhea and I suddenly found myself shitting all the time for almost 5 days. So much that it hurts to even sit again on a pot.

And since I dont trust doctors in general and dont go to them for minor ailments, I suffered the attack of the bowels.

Thankfully I was forced to take medications and I am on what seems like the road to recovery. I am finally able to work on my computer again. This means I would resume work on Nidhi Kapoor’s story and the new idea that I have had. And this does not mean that I have started to trust the medical profession again.

This post, is to let everyone (whoever cares) to know that I am back. Thank you for asking.

84.3

The other day I was at my cousin’s place. Since he just got that home, hes got tons of shiny objects that I love to play with. One of them was a weighing scale, the kinds you see at expensive hotels. And now when I have been running intermittently and controlling my food intake, I decided to measure the impact. I ought to have lost a lot of weight in last 6 months! All the hard work has to pay off. I had kept a serious tab on my fetish for junk food and cola. I was bound to have lost weight.

With butterflies in my stomach and a heart that was jumping so hard that it could pop out of my throat, I tapped on the scale to activate it and then I stepped on it. To measure myself.

They say when you face death, time flows slower and the entire life somehow flashes past your eyes. And that is what happened when I saw the number on the weighing scale. I was struck by a lightening. As ferocious as it would have been when the day of reckoning would have tormented mother Earth. When all Dinosaurs perished and when we were engulfed in a white storm. The time stood still.

And like all victims of calamities that us humans cant control, I went through the following five stages of emotions – anger, denial, question, acceptance and depression.

It started with my pent up anger coming to surface. I was angry at myself for letting the athletic me of the late nineties to have become the fatso of now. Like most things in life, I did not plan for my inflated belly but I know that I could have controlled it. And to be honest it does not take much to do so. And yet I let is grow like crazy. To a point where I cant breathe after even little exertion.

Next up was denial. When I tried to tell myself that its not me and may be the weighing scale has made some mistake. May be the scale was rigged and its a conspiracy against me and my weight loss mission. May be its an attempt to derail me from writing the Nidhi Kapoor story.

And then the question. I questioned Mother Nature. I asked about her decision to punish me. Me of all her 7 billion children. There are times when you want her to select you and shower you with goodies but at times like these when she singles you out and slaps you hard in the face, you wonder, why me.

I realized that like lot of other things this has been forced upon me. Yes, I am responsible for a large part of it. And I accepted the way I am. I told myself that I’d be happy and try to live with my chin held high. I would close my eyes everytime I see someone who is fitter and leaner. That in reality means that I walk like a blind man, for everyone else around me is fitter and leaner than I. But since I have accepted to live with this, I shall do so.

But the hard part is to actually do it everyday. Day after day. Hour after hour. Minute after minute and second after second. There is no way I can keep depression away from my head. Not about my poverty or about my thinning bank balance. But about my uncontrollable weight. Whatever I have tried, may not be much. But it definitely is not working. The only options left for me, as I see, are either to go into the sharan of Nirmal Baba, or renounce from this material life and goto the mountains. But I think going to mountains requires serious commitment and effort. But then, I wish I was the kinds to put in effort 🙁

Fancy my fancy life?

So, when I took this fancy place on rent in Mumbai, along with it, I got a fancy club and a fancy swimming pool. Ofcourse at a fancy price. And since I work out of my home for the time being, I spend a lot of time in my fancy apartment, which it not too fancy once you step inside (that’s another problem I have with these fancy apartment complexes in Mumbai). Club the two together and all my close friends think that I have a facny life where all I do is sit at home, watch tv and go swimming. Little do they know that all these are really really tough things to pull off, when done at the same time.

Lets start with swimming. Of course all those who read this blog (yes, both of you) may remember my earlier attempts at it (documented here). I am sorry to report that its been three years now and I am still a struggling swimmer. At this rate, I would still be learning how to hold my breadth in water when my great great grand kids would be crossing the English channel. The thing is, it looks easy. All you need to do, is to lie flat on your belly, move your legs too and fro and shake your arms and you are on your way. The trouble is when you are trying to move all four limbs at the same time and breathe. I dont think I can ever master that. Its been almost a week since I have been going and there is not an iota of difference in my weight (which should ideally have come down by now) or in my swimming skills. And the cherry on cake, everything that I touch starts smelling of Chlorine (despite using a soap as strong as Medimix to clean after a dip).

Now, coming to more important matters of work, I am in Mumbai to create a company from ground up. That in layman’s language means that I am expected to hire people, manage them and find enough work to pay for their salaries. I would reckon its slightly too much for someone like me who hates getting into operational details. And add my compulsive introvert nature on top of it. Makes for a heady mix of dreams (that have no way of turning into reality) and harsh reality (of the pressure of making ends meet and justifying the move to Mumbai). I, being the frivlous and easy going me, dont really bother with details too much but its really tough to resist the temptation to think. And then sulk. And when you are trapped in a pseudo fancy place for home and a fancy hobby that you cant seem to master, it becomes even tougher.

So much for my fancy life. Fancy taking part in it?

Substance Abuse!

My addiction to (and experiments with) things like Coke and Red Bull have been documented time and again, on this blog and elsewhere on the Internet. And no wonder I am told that I am an addict. In my defense. To be honest, there is no problem in being an addict, its just that its a drain on money (both coke and Red Bull are expensive indulgences) and apparently they are hazardous to health. But I am the kinds that goes by empirical evidence and since there is no documented evidence as such, I refuse to hear the conspiracy theorists and regularly give in to the temptation and consume as much sugar water and caffeine as I can afford.

But then I realized that I am on the wrong side of the bell curve now and I need to try and do things that would make me an outlier (read live a 100 years). Like the current fads in India, the health and fitness fad is in vogue and is attracting attention by the buckets. And being a marketer’s delight, I cant stay away from it. So I thought may be, 2013 could be the year when I make myself a better individual. And to start with, I could focus on tangibles like health. Common sense tells me that I need to stop the rampant substance abuse that I am so used to. In fact one of the resolutions of 2013 is to get fit and ~~run~~ finish a marathon by end of this year. Ofcourse running requires lot of stamina and running a marathon requires training, determination and a huge willpower. I, to be honest, have none of these things but I hope to work on these during this year.

Thus, since 2013 started, I have not touched coke or red bull. Part of the reason is health, part if money (Mumbai is an expensive place) and a huge part is test of determination and willpower. Imagine me ignoring that water droplet trickling down the shiny metal case, that little pop when you pull the flip tab back, that rush of fizz when the can just opens and that anticipation of ice cold coca cola going down my throat. I’d say impossible. But I’d make the impossible possible. Its been 4 days and I havent felt any real need. Except that I am low on energy the entire day. Let me talk about that!

When I was consuming it, all the sugar and caffeine gave me abundant energy to engage in million things that I am working on all the time. So much so that I could go three days without sleep. Avoiding these two things has had a stupid side effect on me. The entire day, I am low on energy and sleepy. A feeling that I hate like no other. I have tried alternatives like no-sugar coffee, green tea, lime water etc but nothing seems to be working so far. I am as sleepy as I was in those financial management classes, back in college, which I dont even know why I took!

Funny is that while I was in Delhi, I dont think I had these issues as I slept very little and yet I was so full of energy the entire day. And yes there was a time when I was off these two substances an yet I had all the energy. Guess something is wrong with Mumbai. Apart from this bout of lethargy, there are funny rashes all over the skin. I only consume bottled water and prefer eating simple food. And yet my body is not accepting this place. Dunno how. Dunno why.

Maybe I need to get back to substance abuse soon. Dunno. Any tips?

Introducing #rstlf

Yesterday, while aimlessly driving around town with Prateek, I realized that I need to do something about the way I am killing time these days. Most days are drab and the net output of those days is not even zero. Better were the days when I was idle and yet reading and dreaming. Now, I dont even dream!

And since its been happening for quite some time. Need to take charge and do something about. #rstlf is one such way. Simple idea. Over the next 90 days, I would change things that have been bothering me and hopefully come out as a better person after these 90 days.

To start with, here is a list of things that I need to fix. Along with each, I’ve put tangible goals that I would achieve in the next 90 days. I would brainstorm and detail each over the next few days, and hopefully get a better understanding. But for the time being, here is the todo list and goals for the next 90 days.

Life. Realize/discover/understand what would my epitaph say. And then start working towards that.
sgMS. classified!
Fitness. Reduce my waist size to 30″. I am 36 point something as we speak.
Business. Own a business. The one that I own is stagnant. May be move it, if nothing else. Maybe think more about what Regis did way back in 70s and 80s and maybe create something similar?
Writing. Finish one of the things that I have been writing. Could be Serai or GhantaGhar. Could even by the Mumbai Diaries that I have been thinking on.
Poker. Keep track of games I play and start winning more often than losing.

Will close these by end of this week and will stick to em for the next 90 days. Ofcourse I would have irregular timing and I may have to travel for work. Or that long impending move to Mumbai may happen. The world may come to an end, few months sooner than the December deadline… whatever may happen, I would ensure that I stick to #rstlf. I would even use a few friends to help me stay on course. So, if you are reading this and you want to help, you know where to send that email!

I have often wished to reset life. Here is an opportunity to do so.

Thats it. Today being the 90th day, I had a very good start. Got up at 5ish, went for a brief walk. So far havent had any trace of oil or sugar. Been eating small potions after small intervals. Plan to skip dinner altogether. And then repeat this tomorrow.

Oh, why is it day 90? Because while talking with Prateek, I realized that I start these things often but never seem to reach a conclusion. He offered a brilliant advice. Start the thing at 90 and go backwards!