Fitness – Page 2

Size Does Matter

The entire city of Delhi is on sale. And I wait for this time for long months. So that I may actually go and shop. So last week, lured by the crazy discounts, I made my way to the shopping malls. I was hoping to buy brands that I could have never bought on a non-sale day. The first store I stepped into, I realized that I was at the wrong place.

I have the most weird size that a man could have. I am not young, not old. I am not thin and I am not fit. I am not L and I am not XL. As a result, most things that I buy are either too tight or too lose. No wonder people look down at me, even when I am dressed in my best. In fact there have been times when I have been denied entry to places (clubs, restaurants etc), not because I could not spend money that these guys would have charged, but because I look scary.

All this while, while I was growing up, things dint matter at all. But now, when I am old (and alone), these things do. Time to take charge and get into some size. Any size.

Untitled – 30 Jan 2012

Yet another untitled post (the last one was on 28th). To be honest, the entire concept of untitled is inspired from Hugh’s blog. Anyways here are things that I learnt/saw/observed/etc today (and yesterday).

Anyways is NOT a word. Apparently. That’s what someone (@mooodles) on twitter told me. If this is true, about 90% of my posts now are grammatically incorrect. Anyways, I use anyways more often that I use I.
I am now hooked onto Foursquare. Its been just a couple of days that I have started using and I absolutely love the experience. More than that, their BB application is awesome. It just adds on to the experience. This is my handle at foursquare.
Meeting real people is more fun that chit chatting with them on twitter or on blog. Real people have real comments. They are more candid and open. They are lot more fun. The conversations are more meaningful. Since time is the most precious commodity, I’d rather spend it with real people than crating virtual linkages to people. I like talking about marketing, technology, starting up, ideas, poker, people, India and a host of other things. If you think you would want to meet over coffee, I am @saurabh on twitter.
I will have to restart using Facebook. Because it has the audience that I want to reach. Both as an individual and as a marketer. Especially when I am serious about seeding a couple of ideas. I am hoping that my last login on FB is still active. I will decide in a few days about it.
Finally, I am a big fan of Jason Statham. He is the epitome of how I want to look, if I ever get fit. I’ve already achieved the bald part, just need to work on the fitness bits.

And I guess that’s it for the time being!

Aug 15: Two months of coke detox!

This day, in June 2011, I had Coke for the last time. Or was it Diet Coke? Whatever variant it was, since then I havent had any coke. I have been to many trips post that and yet I did not have it. I mean when I travel, the only other companion, apart from my bag and my notepad, is Coke. Coke is as ubiquitous as probably air is. Coke has to be the most recognizable logo of the world.

Coming to the question, why did I stop coke? There are few reasons. One, to save on all the money I spent on Coke and Diet Coke. Two, get fitter. Everyone I know tells me that carbonated drinks arent healthy and all these drinks are but sugar and water. Three, I was bored and I needed something that I could shower my attention on! I know its a lame reason. So now that it has been two months, lemme see how I fared on each of the three.

Save on money. I keep track of each paisa that I spend. Been doing it since Feb this year. Note to self, I need to post summary of that excel sheet and uplaod a template for everyone else. So the spending on food has reduced considerably but I cant really attribute those to non-consumption of coke.

Next was getting fit. I think quitting coke aint no help. I have stopped eating outside and yet I am as fat as I was when I was having coke (assuming that there were just two things making me fat – outside food and/or coke). I dont drink any milk, tea. I do drink that occasional coffee but thats about it. And I am not losing any damn weight. I need to hire one of those Rujuta Diwakers for myself.

And attention. I did fairly well here. Everytime I see coke logo, I think about those wonderful days when I used to dote on coke and then I tell myself that I need to stay away. And as they say that staying away from your object of attention is more difficult when you can see it!

But then all in all, a very interesting experiment. Been two months. Lets see how many more can I clock.

This is day 15 in a series of 31 daily blogposts. Other posts are here.

P.S.: I dont like the way this post is written. This is way too bland, basic for my taste. I plan to rewrite this eventually. The content and the takeaway shall remain the same. Keep watching this!

The 5 Cs of Swimming

Swimming is a wonderful thing to do. I have been going for last three weeks and thoroughly enjoy the outing. Worst come worst, I get up every day at 6:30. I am trying level hard to get some discipline in life. Anyways, I dint start writing this to rave about it. Being an eternal cribber that I am, I had to talk about all the things that are bad about it.

For beginners, you start hating water. You need to take a shower before you get in the pool. You are surrounded by water when you are, well, in the water. You need to take a shower after you are out of water. And then when you reach home, you need to take yet another shower before leave for work. And if you are my kinds, who has had showers in the evening all his life, post work, then that’s yet another shower before you end the day. So there is water, water and still more water. I must be consuming enough water, on showers, to solve Yamuna’s maladies.

Then there are all the other swimmers. Most of them were struggling till about two days back and today they seem to be doing great. You, on the other hand, are still tottering and trying to stay afloat. You can’t hold your breadth for seven seconds under water and everyone else spend so much time under water that would put Houdini to shame. And not to mention all the generous exposure of cracks (butt cracks), cleavages, crotches, curves and curls (the 5 Cs). Not that these things make you uncomfortable, but they do make you jealous.

And then there is the agonizing length of the pool. You think you are a rockstar and you learn things fast and you tell yourself that you would swim the length by the fifth day. But when you actually get in water, the length seems small and yet unconquerable. You try hard, harder and hardest and yet you don’t get past the first ten feet.

I guess these three things top the list for me. Apart from these, I have other things to talk about as well. But then, they are stories that I shall share later.

Guess that’s it for now.

P.S.: I have not yet learnt the art of ending stories. Need to work on it.

P.P.S.: Sennheiser headphones. iTunes. Brilliance of Amit Trivedi on Sham from Aisha. Fingers flying on Acer keypad. Millions of thoughts running amok.

Look Ma, Am Jogging!

Finally after 27 years of existence and denying that I need it, I was forced to start jogging.

People define jogging as the art of slow running, on a track, in the community park where members of the opposite gender are in abundance, done supposedly to stay fit, in reality, to ogle at all the eye candy around, hoping to strike a conversation and ending the jog with your latest “friend” at the juice shop. I have seen umpteen conversations starting with words as obtuse as, “hey your shoelaces are open” and as daring as “nice shorts”.

Jogging is also the sport that was made famous by Forrest (of the Forrest Gump fame). Everyone remembers that “Run Forrest Run” incident. I am not as blessed or as talented as Forrest is but I do share some similarities. The love for Vanilla ice-cream. He was forced to. I do it by myself. Anyways, I dont know what I was thinking when I got into this argument about fitness with Neo. And since he is quick on his feet, he challenged me if I could lose 4 inches by his wedding. I, being myself, had to accept it without any thought.

So, one fine day, I was blissfully hogging onto french fries and sipping onto a diet coke at a McDonalds when I suddenly realized I couldn’t breathe. I am 27. Been the sporty kinds. Have actually won medals in races and all that. I somehow fatafat stuffed all the remaining fries in my mouth and gulped the rest of the coke in one quick motion. And then I called for help. The call was more of a tribal dance and war-cries. And unlike the movies, no heroines were in sight. Not even the cleaner came forward. I somehow managed to stay alive. I eventually had to sit at a coffee shop and wash down all the food with a vanilla ice cream before I could start breathing normally again. And that was the day when I decided that I need to get fit. And win the bet. Wait, after I finish that ice-cream.

I started exploring options. I collected pamphlets, phone numbers and reviews for dance schools, swimming pools, tennis/badminton courts, gyms, yoga instructors, even Shilpa Shetty’s DVDs, cricket clubs and organic juice shops. And then I started the process of elimination.

Dance classes – too far and too expensive. And average age of a participant was 13. Imagine being called an uncle at 27. Last time I danced, I was in college and I was thrown out in exactly seven minutes of warm-up sessions.

Swimming pools refuse to accept me as a member. I dont know why.

All tennis and badminton courts are shut because they are preparing for commonwealth games to happen. I mean why are they shut? Cant they come up with better excuses?

Local gyms are interesting but its difficult to be semi-naked around fat aunties who are more interested in checking out themselves in mirror than working out. When they are not checking out themselves, they are comparing their vital stats with other fat aunties and are looking for affirmation. And worse is that they insist that they are the only ones who have the rightful ownership of the treadmill, stepper and the bicycle. Dare you touch em.

Yoga is another interesting story. I dont mean to offend anyone but the instructor was getting too “touchy” for my comfort. I know who I am and my preferences are straight. As a rod.

The DVDs are interesting but I couldn’t bring myself to spend that kind of money on watching a no good page 3” celebrity” do awkward poses in red tights. And imagine the horror of my parents if they see me seeing that DVD. Jayadaad sey bedakhal kar dete mere gharwale.

Of all the options, am left with Yoga or Jogging. Yoga is fun and all that but it requires you to get up at 4:30 (in the morning) and reach the place by 5. Do it for an hour with people who are on an average double my age. Am thinking, wont it be fun to get yoga guys and dance guys in one room and experience the generation gap live?

So I finally du out my running shoes and started jogging. Its been a week since I have started jogging. I havent noticed an iota of difference to my fitness/health/girth/stamina but I remain hopeful. Please keep me in your prayers. After all I have to win the bloody bet. Just over a month to go.

Written while munching onto an McAloo Tikki Burger at a McDonlads. And no, Ronald is not paying me for this post. It would be nice if he did.