Food – 922

The Itch. Dubai 2018, Day 12 and 13

The unthinkable has happened. I did not write yesterday.

That means that 10ish day streak I was on has been broken. Ok, let me not be harsh on myself and get on with the post. I’ll just combine the two days. Big deal.

The theme for the day is reflection on the trip. I came here on the 12th (I think). Today is 26th. So I should be on 15th post. Ok, I did not post for the 12th. And this post technically is a reflection on the day gone by. So, 12 is ok. So its been 14 days and I have 2 more days to go.

More than anything else, I have a confession to make. I want to go back (home?). Enough of this sitting around. And thinking. And mental masturbation.

I am NOT made for thinking. I am a doer. The kinds that shoots from the hip. The one that acts first and then thinks.

So, while the trip has been worth it and interesting and I will do this again and again (at least twice every year, if not once a quarter), I think I am done. I am rearing for action. The kinds that makes me so busy that it does not allow me to think. I ~~need~~ have to go back. May be this is what recharging the batteries is all about? Maybe. Maybe not. Right now, I just want to go back and get moving with things.

The point is, BRING IT ON, Universe!

Saurabh Garg
26 April 2018
Dubai

P.S.: This does not really classify as a post per se. Too small for that. But then thats all I had to say. And I havent done anything substantial in the last couple of days. I’ve just been meeting people and they’ve been talking about various opportunities that are available in this region. And they’ve been talking about issues with the region.

The list of things that I was supposed to do while in Dubai remains unfinished. Not because I did not have time or place. But because I did not work. Simple. I will work on them once am back. I at least know how to work better. I did learn the act of focus (for 2-3 days) when I switched off mobile data (its that simple). By nature I am fickle and have the attention of a Gold Fish and thus need to shut all the external stimuli. #note2self!

P.P.S.: Next time I go for a ~~holiday~~ break like this, I will live (and work) at a Roam. I dont know if they are expensive but I know that I would love to have things managed for me.

P.P.P.S.: Oh the one thing that I’ve loved about this place is all the cosmopolitan exposure that this place gives you. I need to write on this. May be tomorrow. Till then, over and out.

P.P.P.P.S.: Now that I’ve been jobless for a bit, I do not understand the ones that do nothing and just sit around. It must be such a terrible way to live life? Any first hand experiences?

Untitled. Dubai 2018, Day 11

Back again. For a change, I dont have much to write about. You see, for a change I was busy working. And means I did not have time to observe things Or think of things. The kind of life that I love. If you take away work from my life, I dont know what I’d do 🙁

Anyhow, the day was pretty ok. I got one HUGE thing ticked off my to-think list. I mean its still WIP but I have made considerable progress on it. If that clicks, the trip would’ve paid for itself. Wish me luck!

The other thing I need to capture is that I ate a large lunch! That meant I was feeling bloated for a few hours. Need to listen to my body lot more. I did compensate by not eating a big dinner. And because I was this irregular, I ended up eating some toast and jam late night. I sinned. Twice over. A, I ate carbs. And B, I ate em at night. Not cool at all.

I think I am beginning to get into a rhythm with eating less and abstaining from eating things that dont add up. I just need to augment this with more water and some exercise. As a next step, I need to read more on longevity and make changes in my environment that help me reach my fitness and health goals (and what are those? Live healthy till I am atleast 120. And why would you want to live that ~~long~~ short? Well, I can write a book on it! Lets drop it for the time being).

Continuing with the food thread, among other things that I discovered on this trip, two things will probably top the list. A, roasted almonds. And B, peanut butter. Since I am trying Keto and IF at the same time (failing at Keto, blame it on Dubai), I am trying to cut all carbs from my system. This means that I am left with proteins and fats and peanut butter is a great option. And I am loving the taste. And the convenience. Remember I kept saying I’d pop a pill if it gave me my nutrition? Well this is it! Pill. In the shape of almonds and peanut butter. Damn this is making me hungry as I write this.

And what do I love about them? Among other things, the crunch! See, I’ve always loved crunch. Look at my addiction to Papad (I refuse to call it Papadum – the fuck is that? Its Papad!).

So yeah. This is about it for Day 11. Onward to 12.

Saurabh Garg
23 April 2018
Dubai

Don’t try this at home!

There are a few things that I take REALLY serious. Really as in Caps-Locked real. Things that I can’t compromise on; ever. Things that shouldn’t change irrespective of what market research suggests, consumers demand or the world craves for. You must not touch them or change them. Things that are not just things but are lifestyle, a way of life. Like Master Shifu, like Miyagi San, like Micky (Goldmill). Like a drive down a coastal road, like going all-in pre-flop, like a bungee jump. Like writing, like talking, like music.

Get the drift?

So, one such thing is a outing at the McDonald’s in India. It’s something that has to be as sacrosanct as hole-in-one, Sachin’s straight drive and Lucky Ali’s music. Something that must not change ever. Something that should be around even 50 years from now. Something that you can count on. Something that you could pass on to your kids. Something that you could reminisce about on a balmy winter afternoon on a hill station.

Food at McDonald’s is as comfort as a food could be. Where else would you find the perfect mix of dough and potato, deep-fried till it’s golden brown, so crisp that you can hear the crunch a million miles away, available at throwaway prices, at outlets that are more often than not a stone’s throw away from where you are?

I have downed innumerable sorrows along with those crispy fries. I have slithered away my darkest and deepest blues with those McAloo burgers. I have told myself that Protein is good for me and ate Egg Wraps three at a time. And the days when I had coke, Diet coke and other variants, I think I would have contributed more than a million liters to the bottom-line. No kidding.

It’s so sacrosanct that the day they change the menu and remove McAloo Tikki Burger or the Pizza McPuff from their menu, I will personally burn down every outlet. And at the speed at which they are mushrooming, I know it would be a Herculean task but I am up for it.

In the meanwhile, talking of all this has made me crave for more McDonald’s. Lemme go find some.

Oh, if someone from McDonald’s is reading this, please know that your service standards in Bangalore suck. You may want to replace your training and QC staff. If I were you, I would.

P.S.: In case you did not notice, I maintained complete ~~radio~~ internet silence for almost a week. And it was therapeutic. There was no deluge of tweets, Facebook notifications, emails, updates from I don’t know how many websites to overwhelm me with. And you know what? I thought I would miss my digital addiction. I did for a couple of days. But after that it was ok. I am back online and I don’t have any more craving for digital connectivity. I like this new life where I spend time in the moment.

Do try it (at home).

I concede

There is this friend of mine who is probably a bigger sport fanatic than I. His wife is famous for feeding me her world famous Rajma Chawal. During one such feed-saurabh-rajmachawal session, I got entangled in this conversation about professionalism in sports and the future of Indian sports. The argument got out of hands and I staked a dinner at a restaurant of choice. I had said that India would win at least 10 medals in the London Olympics 2012. And as of today, the medal tally is a poor 1. I concede Parry. Next time I am in Mumbai, dinner is on me.

More than anything else, I am dismayed at the performance of our athletes. To be honest, none of these athletes that went to the Olympics can crib about non-availability of money, infrastructure, training etc. Anyways, what has happened has happened. Time to look towards the next one in Rio.

This is one of those things that I sincerely wish I could do something about!

Coming back to the bet, I think that
Mr and Mrs Sarkar knew about our athletes all along and the bet was just a sinister plot by to get an expensive dinner out of a kanjoos baniya like me.

An Opportunity for Snack/Food/Beverage brands!

At some point in time, a few years back, I was an account planner with a then emerging advertising agency. I was there for almost two years and dint really do lot of work that I could speak about out loud but I did learn a lot in the process and it helped shape my thinking quite a bit. ~~It has programmed my mind to question every premise~~ My mind was already wired to question everything and a stint with the agency made me learn to try and find reasons for all the actions. Today something interesting happened. During one of those long taxi rides, I started questioning a basic premise and it led me to come up with some amazing insights that a food/beverage/snack company may want to look at.

So, while I was on my way from Bangalore airport to Indiranagar (about 90 minutes cab ride through open highways and crowded city), I had this desperate urge to take a break, rest for a bit, seep in the scenery, tame my mind/thoughts, relax my head/body, eat/munch onto something and generally stop. And there were tons of places where I could have done that. It was an open highway with shops that sold stuff ranging from cheap country made liquor to tea to coconut water to aerated drinks to snacks to chips, cigarettes etc. And this is when I realized that for a non-smoker like me, there is no alternative to smoking a cigarette when I want to take an unscheduled break.

Let me take a break from the back story a bit and talk about a cigarette. A typical planner, would define the cigarette and the use as…

A social object. When I am smoking, there is an instant connect with anyone else who is smoking close by. Both the smoker and the other unknown smoker, suddenly belong to the same tribe. They could start by sharing a light, a stick, a tea, a conversation and eventually a relationship. I can safely say that people bond over a cigarette and its as social an object as they come.
Cheap at 5. It costs anywhere between a rupee and 10. This is the right price point that customers in India are oblivious to. They can spend this kinda money without thinking too much about it. Ofcourse this is a gross generalization (more on this in the next planning posts).
Kill time. A typical tick takes about 5 minutes to consume. This is the right amount of time that someone may want to kill when they are taking a break. Anything short is too short. Anything longer is too long. This is the right amount when you could disappear from that long/boring meeting and yet go unnoticed. This is the right amount of time that you need to recharge your batteries.
Un-awkward. If I am standing on a corner idle, I become an eye sore for everyone else. I dont have a business there. But, if I am holding on to a lit cigarette, I suddenly become a part of the scenery. No one questions my presence. My role is defined. I can pass off as yet another cigarette smoker that is just having his regular fix of nicotine. No one would give me a second look. And no, a cig is not alone here. You could have tea, hold a newspaper or may be merely fiddle with your phone.
Savor the after taste. After I have had it, there is that after taste that I can savor for long. Of course there are people who have issues with the after smoke but thats a different story. Then the kick that nicotine gives, also helps and for the ease of convinience, I would add to the after taste category.
Available. Its as ubiquitous as condoms, potatoes, water and air are. There are small kiosks after every two feets (at least in India, even at remote locations). I can buy a pack, I can buy one stick, I can buy alternatives, I can experiment. Nothing is as easy as buying a cig in India.
Does not affect appetite. Unlike a juice, or a tea or fruits, I can have as many cigs and as often and it would not affect my apetite. I would not skip a cig because having too much of it will make my stomach full and make my skip my dinner/lunch. So it serves the purpose of giving me a break, recharging my batteries and yet not affect my subconscious mind (assuming the ones smoking are aware and yet ignore the results of excessive smoking).

So after this rather large description of a cigerrete as a commodity that we humans consume, here is the million dollar question. Can brands/businesses in the foods, beverages or snacks industries, take these lessons from cigerrettes and create a product? Or may be create an experience? Or may be create a social object? Or something that

To make it simpler, can someone come up with a fmcg product that is cheap (<INR 10), available everywhere, allows me to kill those 5 minutes, makes me bond with other patrons of the product and does not give me anything but a break from the rigmarole?

More I think about it, more lucrative this seems. Ofcourse everyone would have tried taking this space. From things like coconut water to road side tea to street snacks to big established brands like Snickers (break at 4 PM), Kit Kat (have a break, have a kit kat), all the snacks (Hippo, Lays etc), lot of biscuits and million other assorted things have tried but they lack one thing or other. No one has been able to crack this bit as yet and when someone does, it would be a huge huge market waiting for them.

Wonder what do people in the business have to say about this? I can think of a response that one of clients for my ex-agency would have some up with. What else could be a valid response? And this is more of gut feel research right now and I would love to spend more time and effort on this. Primarily to validate the assertations and to unearth more such ideas. Anyone wants to commission a research?

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