Category: #inLife

Masters of Scale

Few things.

A.
Each month, I send an email to all contacts at C4E. This month I wanted to send out work from award winners at Cannes (here’s the newsletter that I finally sent, featured 3). And rather than sending anything at random, I wanted to curate a list of 5 (or 10) pieces that I have loved from all those that are on showcase. While I was going through the list of winners and seeing their work, I realised that the quality of work, the scale at which things happen and where we I stand in comparison.

B.
I was unwell yesterday the day I started to write this and since I dont take medicines, I was uneasy. And I was irritable. To the point that I was alone. And when I was at my wits ends, I succumbed to the temptation and subscribed to Netflix to kill time. 
And once I got it, I put on House of Cards. I started with S3E1 and in there, Doug succumbs to alcohol. Thats not the point (the similarity between Doug and I). The point is that in that episode I realised that work could be so important for people that they’d lay their lives for it. I mean Doug gets a sliver of window to meet the President and even though he cant walk and he breaks his arm while showering, he goes through excruciating pain and makes it to the meeting. People and their work means so much to them. And here I am. Rather than doing things that scale, I am blogging about it.

Then I saw an episode of Elementary. I was reminded of my love for the series because of the way Sherlock and Watson go under the skin of people and decode them. I wish I was as brilliant. I wish I could read things. I wish I could solve individual problems that were unsolvable. What I currently do can be done by anyone in the world. Where is my individuality? What makes me unique? Am I making sense? 


. . .

What defines me? What boils my blood? Why am I alive? What is my raison d’etre? This one I know – to entertain and enable others. But thats not the point. Point is, what am I doing about it? Why am I content with being a paper-pusher? I mean my work is great and I know why I do what I do. But where is scale? Or Impact? How many people have I entertained? Impacted? Enabled?

I feel I am stuck at where most other people are. I have an ok career. Ok life. Ok things. Everything is ok about what I do and where I am. Mediocre. Nothing is great. Nothing is extraordinary. I dont make any difference to anyone’s life. Maybe I do, once in a while. But where is the perpetual excitement of having moved a ball?

I think, the other thing is lack of impact at scale. Most of what I do remains at the individual level (when I spend time with some great people with whom I work). Or at a few hundreds at best (when I put together an event and that too for the duration of the event). There is no perpetual change. I dont tilt the Earth. I dont make a ding in the universe. Worse, I dont create. The largest thing that I’ve ever created is the book. And that too has sold less than 2500 copies. That means I have not entertained even 2500 people! 


And you know what sucks the most? I dont have anything in my hand that allows me to do that even in the future. And I dont know how to go about it. And I dont know who to talk to about this. 

P.S.: So, I agree that House of Cards and Elementary are fictional pieces. I agree that no one starts working at scale from day zero. I know that you have to work towards it. I know there is a time and place and all that. The question is, where is mine? When would I do things that would make me exhausted with happiness? 

P.P.S.: Title inspired by RH’s podcast – Masters of Scale. You HAVE to listen to this if you want a better life for yourself.

The Reputation Research

Last few days, a few things have happened that has made me re-think my love for visual anonymity. Lemme quickly talk about the incidents.

1. Last Saturday (or was it Sunday?) I accompanied a friend to an open mic night. The idea of open mics is pretty simple. You are an aspiring stand up comic. But because you are aspiring, you cant gather an audience. Along with other standups, you get in a room, invite your friends and use them as Guinea Pigs to practise your jokes. I was one such Guinea pig. Plus, often, places that give you access to a quite room and a mic and AC tend to be expensive. So you get friends to pay and the friends, because they are friends, bear the bad jokes and help you cover the cost!

So, I went with a friend. There were some 30 odd people, about 10 performers. Each person gets 4 minutes to perform a set. And audience gets all the time to react!

Most of the performers were very average. May be they are average performers. Or may be they were trying new material that required practise. Irrespective. It took balls to be able to stand in front of the crowd and deliver a piece that you know is going to bomb!

2. I met Komal the other day. I told her about my dislike for dressing up for the occasion. She said that I ought to think like an actor and each interaction as a role. Like there are different roles, each dictated by a different situation, life encounters are different and they demand a different approach. And each role demands a different piece of content to be delivered. And if you are going to act and make people believe, you better know how to pull various roles off! After all, in life, newer roles come along all the time on an ongoing basis!

In my case, I am an actor and when I work, I ought to play the work role. Which I suck at. All this while I have been playing my personal role at scenes that demand me to play a certain role – work, social, gathering etc. So may be, I need to re-think and change. Or may be I want to be a Steve Jobs where I wear the same thing over and over and over again till that becomes as irreplaceable as my name? Or may be I need to identify certain archetypes, practise them like crazy and then put those archetypes in various roles. Or may be something else. Lets see.

3. I presented my company creds on a stage where I had some 30-40 people in audience. I had a great deck to present and I have used that deck at multiple places in the past and have got great reception. But all those times have been in the boardroom. This time, it was on stage. And it sort of bombed! Not bombed per se. People did recall seeing it. But they were not blown away with what I had presented.

Thing is, I want to be able to create a reality distortion field when I talk to people! Of course I dont have a product like Steve Jobs. Neither did he for that matter. But he had something that I definitely dont have! I need to identify and work on that!

4. Mihir talked me into doing a video podcast. That means I now have a video (43 minutes long) where I am talking about life and philosophy and raison d’etre and other such things. Now, to be able to do justice to the effort that is going in, we need to push it out and market it like a bitch. And that will mean that my notions of closely guarding my pics / video on the very permanent Internet is under heavy questioning.

…

So, now that I have captured these four things, the real reason for the outburst is hence.

As I get along in life (read, I am supposed to take on larger responsibilities), I am realising more and more that to be able to get things done, I need to have a reputation.

Reputation is a complex “thing” and its often a combination of things like association (with people, things, brands etc), popularity (read personal brand where you are known by people outside of your third degree), experience (in terms of years you’ve worked, things you’ve done etc), expert status (in chosen field of expertise), contacts (how many famous / rich / powerful people you know? Who has saved your number? Who will pick your call in less than 4 rings etc), performance (when you go up on stage to perform a stand up act or you are expected to perform in a certain way depending on the societal context or when you are making a presentation or when you are peddling gyaan) etc. You get the drift? You now know where I am coming from?

The funny thing is while all my life I have been aware of this, I have shied away from it. To date I have issues in talking to people where I dont have a context. I cant seem to hold a conversation with a client if there is no work. Compare this to a lot of people who are by default agony aunts for every Tom, Dick and Harry. In fact in my previous organization, there’s this lady, lets call her A, who has this knack of befriending everyone in the very first conversation that she holds with them. And from there on, by the time A meets someone for the second time she is thicker with these people than their respective best friends for 100 years! And who do you call if you have to commission a new event? Of course your new best friend!

I am not saying that I ought to be as slimy as A but the point is that your reputation is super important and having great people skills is the starting point! Which I lack.

So may be, the reason I am unsuccessful is because I dont have the social skills to succeed? I cant work on the way I look but I can change the way I dress up and all that. And then top if off with some level of polishing.

Any help anyone?

PS: unless, you are someone who is happy being yet another employee is a large organization, making a great fat paypacket, this post may not be a good idea to read. This is counter-intuitive and is meant for hustlers. Are you one? Lets connect and help each other!

Untitled – 2016/01

While I was walking back from a station today, I realised something really cool. That now that I am doing ok work-wise and money-wise and I may claim to be a little more stable now, rather than craving for more work, more money, more this or more that, I’ve been missing #sgMS a lot lately.

Ordinarily when you have work and you are busy, you tend to not have time for things like love. Compared to last year. I did not have too many things on my plate and yet I was ok without her.

Also, I’ve always been told that once you make your first lakh, you want to make 10 lakhs. And then you want to make 1-crore and then 10 crores and so on and so forth. I have been lucky to have made my first lakh (in savings), and yet I dont have the carrot of 10 hanging in front of me. Of course my ambition is to reach 1 crore in this year and I am committed to it, the first lakh did not make me stare at the 10-lakh number.

Coming back, so why do I crave for her?

May be because, because of all the work, I dont have time to engage in any useless fluff that takes up a lot of time (things like checking FB updates like a maniac, engaging the trolls, stalking the intelligent ones, pimping my book etc.). And thus I am focused on stuff that matter. Work. Her.

May be because, because of all the work, I am spending a lot of time in transit – so there are more rickshaws rides, trains (yes Mumbai local), taxis (not Ubers) and all that. And since I cant work in transit, or read, or do anything productive, I am drifted to her.

May be because I am older and wiser and I know what I want and what I dont? Like Steve says, the dots connect when you look back?

May be deep down, I somehow know that I can provide for her and I thus want to be with her? After all the biggest crib I have had with life all these years is that I was poor and she was not so poor. Not that I am now an equal, just that I am little more comfortable.

May be I am old and know that I have to settle down? (PS this is a change in stand. From a time when I was not willing to listen to even an argument about wedding, now I want her around. For good.

Anyhow, the point of the post is not her. Really. The point is, I realized today that while I am ambitious, I am not greedy. When I become big, I will not become an asshole. When I’ve made my first crore, I will chase more but I will not be motivated by the next milestone of 10 crores. I will chase more work and grow more and I will give back more (I have two interesting things lined up for this – will talk about them soon).

So, yeah. Thats about it. Of course this is a first-world problem and I am very lucky to have it. Hope the problem continues!

P.S.: Too much information?

The Balloon Guy

Today, about an hour back (about 10:30), I was walking around Bandra with a friend. We passed a dark alley and in the corner, behind the shadows was lurking a guy who was apparently selling Balloons. He was on a bicycle and there were some balloons hanging from the front of his bike. We looked at him and like every grown up who ignores things as playful and amateur as balloons, we moved on.

However, the man starting pleading to us, in low tones. He said something to the effect that he hadnt sold a single balloon in the day and he wont be able to buy himself dinner. Being a dilliwallah, I ignored his plea and was concerned for my friends’ safety. I herded her away from that dark alley, into the bright light cast by the huge Starbucks signboard up ahead.

We found a rick for her and once I put her in a rick and was walking back, it struck me that the balloon guy must be working real hard to earn his living and it must have taken a lot of balls to be able to ask for alms. And he’s probably worked hard all his life (selling balloons cant be easy), it must be even more tough for him to beg.

Left me wondering that we crave for things like houses and cars and we fight for things like God and idols of stone but we cant find a way to help people like that balloon wala make enough to feed his family. What’s the point of it?

Of course I wont have answers to these issues that perplex the intelligentsia. But I know for sure that that it could be a great purpose in life. To be able to help others upgrade the lives they lead. And how would I do that? I dont know. But I shall find out. I have at least 33 more years to go. And I will work on increasing that as we go along.

Help me on it? Please?

ABCD

Looks like acronyms are in vogue. After the last post on MIA, here is another one. This time, I will talk about ABCD. No, not the movie. But 4 things that I want to do in life. Why do I call these ABCD? Because I suck at naming things.

And since this is my personal blog, the post may appear as a rant on life. And no, dont expect me to come up with nuggets like the days are long and decades short or the seven intelligent fanatics. And dont expect any enlightening talks about how to work and all that. That’s something that I leave for people on Quora and for younger and more established people – which pretty much includes everyone. At my age, you see, most people are younger, richer, healthier, smarter and all that. I am a mere mortal who’s trying to live happily. Ever after. If only sgMS agreed to be a part of the ever after story.

So I am going to talk about things I do. After all that’s the point of a personal blog. These are simple silly things that non-achievers like me do and engage in.

So I primarily spend my time on doing 4 things. These are…

Thing A gives me money.
Thing B makes me happy.
Thing C is future earnings.
Thing D is all the hobbies (poker, guitar, #sleep, #book2 etc).

— Saurabh / SG (@saurabh) July 11, 2015

Let me talk about these for a bit.

A, is my freelancing gigs. 
Where I work on event planning, event management, brand strategy, brand planning, marketing strategy, social media strategy and other such things for brands. I do this via my engagement with few agencies. Out of three “live” contracts (irregular work), I have worked with two as an employee and have hired the third as a vendor at some point in time. Lesson learnt? Relationship. Not talent, not hustle. Relationship.

In terms of talent, what I do is questionable. In term of hustle, the effort in put in is questionable. But end of the day, if I am pretty average with what I do and I am happy living in the closed confines of a 1RK shanty in an obscure corner of Mumbai and a third-hand Tata Nano, I can continue to do this!

But is that what I want from life? Isn’t being an illegal immigrant in US and working at car washes at minimum wage better? I think so!

You know, wolf and sheep?

Source: GapingVoid

B, is writing. 
It could be a simple act of putting pen to paper. Or keystrokes on a laptop. And even though I may not be any great shakes with what I write. I may think of cliches all the time, I may use simple words to express simple thoughts, I may not able to write flowery language but I definitely am happy when I see words appearing on screen when I let my fingers do their trance-like dance.

In a few years I may realize that I do not have what it takes to be a writer that a large set of people may love to read. But I do know that if nothing else, I shall continue to write this blog. Of course time shall tell.

From my book, The Nidhi Kapoor Story. Did you buy?

Or may be I will continue to write my books with simple plots and simpler descriptions and non-evocative journeys etc.

C, is future earning. 
This is where I open opportunities by talking to people, companies, friends, family and strangers. Hoping that they’d hire me some day. Assuming they can afford me.

This is probably the toughest part. In fact last two, three days I have been stuck with this and this is what has been eating me from inside out. I’ve written about this in detail in the past. As I go along, I will talk more about this as I spend a large chunk of my time on this.
 Anyhow, when days like this happen one after the another, I tend to go back to pop-culture motivation-porn of Mr. Will Smith. Do see the following video. I hope it is not but even if it is scripted and Will has a team of people working for him, the video is insane.

I can watch it over and over and over.

And Oh, one more thing. Once I am done with this post, I am going to go start my hustle. What about you?

And D, ladies and gents, is hobbies. 
This is where I go to recreate (of the recreation fame). Where I unwind. Where I chill. Where I am in the moment. Where I know I want to take a break from A, B and C. Things that include hobbies are poker, guitar, writing (combination of B). For each hobby, I have a tangible goal. For example, for poker, I want to win the WSOP ME some day (which incidentally is happening as we speak and there are two Indian-origin players in the final 101. For guitar, I want to perform on a stage. For travel, I want to do a RTW. For photography, I want to be able to sell my photographs to people for a million dollars and more.

Lofty? May be. Achievable? Yes!

I mean who thought Stu Unger could win WSOP ME three time? And back to back two times?

Stu Unger. The Idol.

So yeah!

These are the 4 things that keep my busy. And, as I leave, here’s a chart that I keep looking at all the time. IF there was a way to clue A, B, C and D, I would be achieve bliss.

No?

Source: Unkonwn. The point? Do things that you love and the world will pay for!

Over and out!

P.S.: Post # 3 in as many days!

Source: The sandcastle baby.

Notes from Home Run

Its a lazy tuesday and since I finished my meetings early, I am home, watching a random movie – Home Run. And while watching, I realized a few things as I saw a “former” sports star struggle with his alcohol addiction.

Here is a list…

A. 
I love sports. Though I would love to complete professionally, age is not on my side. May be pool. Or poker. I know, I know, they are not really sports. But I don’t have an option.

May be I could become a coach, a manager, an agent or something. I would love to be someone like Jerry McGuire​ some day. Or Mark Mascarenhas (if you guys don’t remember him, here’s a primer). I just need to figure out how to.

Side note, I would love to have someone at Hello. #sgMS had me at Hello. It was not hello but it was close.

B. 
I have a severe addiction problem. Of multiple things.

I am addicted to Diet Coke. Though I haven’t had it since Dec now, I still carve for it. Every time I see it, I want it. And with each passing day, it’s getting harder to control.

Apart from that I am addicted to food. Yes. Food. I just want to eat. And eat. And eat. And I know that food addiction means more than just perpetual hunger is more to do with psychology (the part time shrink in my tells me that I am scared about some sort of impending famine. Need to see a shrink about it. Any recommendations?

Then there is this terrible addiction to daydreaming. Nothing wrong with it I guess. But I’d rather get things done!

Thankfully, I don’t have issues with alcohol or cigarettes. So that helps.

C. 
With every passing day, I am getting sure that I want to move out of India. From a die-hard Indian fanatic to someone who wants to move on to other places, the damn change I think has finally happened.

Even though I am all for development and intelligent living, I so love small towns and community. I love to know everyone around me and yet I want to travel. And I want to be left alone when I want to. I want a simple life and a flamboyant lifestyle. What the fuck am I talking about? Damn it.

D.
I want to make movies. The damn medium is so effective that you just can’t forget a well made movie. Although writing gives me supreme happiness. I believe that the visual medium has to be the most effective means of communication ever. I need to somehow make the transition from writing to visual. Again, age is probably not on my side. But what great thing has happened without trying?

E. 
There is no E. Just 4 things.

P.S.: It’s a very ok movie btw. You don’t have to see it. See Whiplash instead. But it did make me realize so many things. Now to write a better version of that film ;P