Category: life Goals

in2021, I will…

Hello hello! 

Time for the annual post. Where I look back at the year gone by and the year ahead. This has been an annual ritual for a few years. To be honest, I may or may not follow it (the excitement of the new year wanes off after a few weeks days) but I always come back to the yearly post when I am down in the dumps and I don’t know what to do with my life. In 2020, I had to do that a lot. So I have seen the utility. 

So, without further ado, let’s get to it. I will divide this into sections
  1. A recap of 2020
  2. Some lessons from the year gone by 
  3. Grand plans for 2021 
  4. Goals for 2021
Further, I will divide each into spheres of life – Personal (P), Social (S), and Work (W). Funny how Work is last. And thanks Vanita for this (and a lot of other things).  

Personal is further divided into Wealth, Health, Focus, Hobbies, #lifeGoal 
Social into Family, Friends, Strangers, Impact 
Professional into Work, Money

So, here we go…

1. Recap of 2020 

So, I have this running sheet where I track life as it happens to me. If I go by that, I should have got the following by the time 2020 ended…
  • At least 20 crores of free cash. Lol. 
  • A 4th passport booklet. If not for the pandemic, maybe I would have had this. 
  • 100K followers on Twitter. I have 4K odd as of the last count. 
  • 200 blogposts. I wrote 53. 
Plus, as per the plan that I made for 2020, I wanted to achieve these three tangible goals…

  • Book 2. I am VERY FAR from it. 
  • Complete a marathon in under 5 hours. Again, very very far. 
  • Make a business that has a topline of 50 crores. My network is actually negative as I write this. 

Even with the pandemic on us, I really think I could have done the first two easily. I had so much time, and at a place where I was fairly comfortable (204, Chitralekha). And yet I did not. I can blame it on the general fuckery happening in life and mindfuckness induced by the pandemic. I can blame it on how I was bereft of inspiration. I can blame it on a million other things but all these would be is blames. I think when I die, I would leave behind a trail of neverending blames. Sigh. 
Anyhow. 
Here is a month by month recap of 2020. Thanks to YearCompass for the template! 
  • Jan – Went on a trek after ages. Thanks to Shravan. Here’s a pic. 
  • Feb – Saw ARR perform live. Thanks, Kila! Here’s a pic.
  • Feb – Published a piece on The Ken. Was on my to-do since 2018 at least. 
  • Mar – Did my last event before we went into a lockdown.
  • Mar – Initiated thePodium.in. This is where we sort of sowed the seeds. 
  • Mar – Cooked for a few days for self. Realized I am inept with a kitchen
  • Apr – Had to take on debt to survive. The lowest point of my life ever. But then, grateful that I have people that are willing to lend to me. This allowed me to keep my tiny bunch of young warriors going. 
  • Apr – Attended sessions with Anjum Rajabali, thanks to Satyanshu Singh
  • Jul – Got to learn screenwriting from Boman Sir 
  • Jul – AKG 
  • Jul – Started NFG with AA and PK. This was big because I put myself on camera as a speaker for the first time ever for a public audience. Plus, I got to meet so many incredible people. Thanks, AA and PK.
  • Aug – Went on a tiny hike with the 5×5 bunch. Here’s a pic for you. 
  • Sep – Successfully evaded the world! 
  • Oct – Took a shot at doing a startup. Couldn’t even get it off the ground despite having a great partner and one of the most sought-after angel investors backing us up. 
  • Oct – Made my will. 
  • Oct – Tried to look for a Naukri and could not land even one interview. The second-lowest point of the year. Realized that the network and connections I take pride in may not be too helpful. 
  • Oct – Thanks to a couple of friends, got back to work. One project got over. The other is still happening. Not, not enough to keep going. But it’s a start.
  • Oct – Got an opportunity to work very closely with someone who’s made a REAL impact with his work. Can’t talk more about it. Got this opportunity via Parijat. Thanks, Parry. 
  • Nov – Moved houses yet again. More about it is here. 
  • Nov – Spent 3 odd weeks in Delhi. I was in Delhi for this long after ages. Realized the fragility of life all over again and decided that I need to at least become a good son if I am unable to become an entrepreneur. So, will act on it this year. 
  • Dec – Been in Goa for 4 weeks now and so far, I like it. Thanks to Rajesh Sir for the kindness. 
  • Dec – Podium started making money. Thank you, for the kick in the back, Rashi. 
  • Dec – Lost faith in my approach towards creating work (a mere handshake, no contracts, etc). Don’t want to write about it here but the very foundation of how I work has shaken. Here’s some context. 
So that. 
I am sure I am missing on capturing a lot of other things that are as important. I of course started multiple side projects – Marketing Connect, 1 X 1000, Hero’s Journey, Skinkredible, etc. I could not complete most of those. Plus there are more goods and bads that I am not publishing here. They are part of my YearCompass. Once I have started to fully embrace Living In Public (a large theme for #in2021), I would probably make the yearcompass public. For the time being, I shall let them remain hidden on paper. 
So, if I were to sum the year in one paragraph, I would say it was among the worst I had. I lost people I cared for, lost all my life’s savings, lost my reputation. Of course, I am alive (and I am grateful) but that’s about it. Thankfully, I am almost a stoic, and at the rare times when I tend to lean to extremes, I am the glass-half-empty kinds. So, yes I survived. Wish I did more than that. Wish I could affect more things. 
Moving on. 

2. So what are the lessons that am taking from the year gone by? 

Quite a few. Here they are. 
A. Need to build a reputation that allows me to walk into a room and tilt decisions in my favor. Right now, despite trying hard, it’s tough to get things to come to me. Most work from what I know is an outcome of great relationships that you create with people. I have traditionally sucked at creating these relationships. Need to work on these. 

B. I need to ship. I think I did ship more things in 2020 than I ever did. When you walk into a room, you may have all the charisma but shit will only move if there is some precedence of your work. Plus, a large part of this shipping happened because I had great partners. Need to scale this by taking more shots and shipping more. 

C. Need to chase money. Even though a lot of my actions have been guided by money, I’ve hardly chased money per se. Probably this is why it has illuded me all my life. May be it needs to change this year? 
D.  I am average. I have realized that I am fairly average at things that I do (writing, talking, working) but then, I can be very very persistent with things. I can look at the big picture like no one else. I can imagine possibilities to an extent that no one else can. 
So hereon, I can go in two different directions. One, I get better at things. Thing. Choose one thing and give it all that I have. And see where it goes. Two, I can become the most reliable, most consistent, most out there, most approachable, most nice, most human hustler around. This one quality of being reliable is probably what is valued more than anything else. 

3. Brings me to 2021, the themes, and the plans. 

So these are the broad guidelines and themes on how I will live life going forward in 2021. No, this is not a road map of the action points. But guiding lights. North-star metrics. 
  • Make myself a priority. The thing is, I have lived all my life trying to create opportunities for others. I have always assumed that once they grow, they would support me (you know reciprocation, fairness, etc) but 2020 has taught me that this is not always true. So, in 2021, I will make myself a priority. 
  • Location independence. This may be an outcome of the recent stints in Delhi and Goa but I think I like this idea of not having a base. What if I become homeless? I have been toying with it for a while now but been on the fence – I like my comfort! But this trip to Goa seems to be solidifying it! This also means I will have to reduce attachments to people and material things. 
  • Financial freedom. Need to get back to being debt-free. And then reach a point where I don’t have to make decisions based on economic criteria. 
  • Living in Public. Live an honest, open, transparent, public life. Where my personality, brand, thoughts, actions et al are all authentic, consistent, coherent, and in-sync. I will not have to make pretenses when I talk to people. I will be out there and the world can take a call based on what they see. This is big on my agenda. 
  • Build an audience. Of course, if you have an audience, you can do what you want to. The lesson I have learned from 2020 is that you don’t need to be a movie star to be able to attract an audience. You could be a blogger (no, not the influencer kinds) and yet have an audience. Clubbed with living in public, this could actually be a path to freedom – financial and emotional.
Of course, all those things that I have stood for in life (fairness, openness, giving things the best, being culturally sensitive, creating a positive impact, etc) remain. If during the year, something changes from that list, I will report. 
 

4. And here are the things that I will do, #in2021. AKA, Tangible Goals for 2021 

I know that this has to be a tangible list and not all goals for 2021 may have tangibility built-in. I will try to add that variable as much as I can. 
Here we go. 
A. Brand SG. Personal / Focus
I have been thinking way too hard on this the past few months. Especially during the pandemic. And I know that I need to get this going for me. The trouble is that I don’t know what I want to stand for. There are way too many things that I am way too excited about. I guess like Gaurav Kapil told me, I will have to go thru the pain of letting go of things if I want to be singularly good at something! 
Lemme give an example. 
As I write this, I am in Goa and I like it here. The trouble is I don’t make money and this is not sustainable. Maybe I will try and find gainful work here and if I do, I will move here. This means I will have to probably quit my dreams to make films? And if I were to make films, I would probably not leave a large impact on humanity! You get the drift? 
So, I want to be better known this year. I don’t know how to. And I don’t know what for. Let’s see. For the time being, I think the tangibles could be to become part of LinkedIn’s Top Voice of the year and/or get to 100K followers on Twitter.
B. Get to a debt-free state. Personal / Wealth
The thing is, it is weighing on my head like nothing else. This is the first time I had to take debt after I took an education loan at MDI. I have never taken money for vehicles, houses, holidays, etc. I have taken working capital loans for servicing work. But never a personal debt. 
I need to get debt-free. And if this requires me to quit everything and focus on just one, I will do it! 
And when I do manage to get debt free, try and create multiple income streams and eventually chase financial freedom. 
C. Book 2. Personal / Hobbies
This has been on my annual plans for like 10 years now. This year, I will do it. Come hell or high water. Lol. 
Here’s the thing. If I don’t have the book, I will stop calling myself a writer. 
D. Run a Marathon Personal / Fitness 
Again, something that’s been on my plans for years now. So much so that I have lost bets and bought Vivek a phone (which he did not accept). This year may be. Grinning while writing this cos am sipping onto a Diet Coke 😀 
E. A project a month. Personal / Hobbies
I have had this funny notion that apart from all that I do, I need to ship 12 projects this year. Each of these has to be public, shippable, and scalable. And these need to have a monetization opportunity for sure. So that. For example, I could scale NFG. I could build Shumbur.com. I can look at doing smaller things in Goa that allows me to build relationships. I also want to finish all the writing projects that I had started over the years (100 Rejections in a year, 100 Thank Yous, 1 X 1000, etc). And so on and so forth. So that. 
While we are the subject of 12 projects, I am extremely excited (and jealous) of Swanand‘s one-year sabbatical project. Do check it out. 
F. Learn to dance. Personal / Hobbies
Kidding you not. 
I really want to learn. 
If not bhangra, then bachata. 
And if not that, freestyle. But I have to. 
G. Work. Professional / Work
Lol, always at the end! 
In terms of work, I am not sure where I’d be in this year. I have been and want to stay a Jack of all trades. But I now see that being a Jack may not lead me to even one of the goals / themes that I have listed above. So I may need to drop everything and focus on one. 
But then thanks to the curse of curiosity and mediocrity, I am average at a lot of things and thus find it impossible to choose just one. As of today, I do all this. And more. 
I know that I need to probably pick one. But I don’t know what. Or how. 
I am leaning towards doing a media piece or get back to pushing the envelope on the events. Not sure. Will update this as and when I have some clarity. I am giving myself till the end of Jan for this. After that whatever catches my fancy the best, I will chase that. 
Come on, universe! 

4.1 This year on, I will also quit with a few things that I have stayed attached to all my life. 

Here is a list… 
 
– Guitar. 
No, I was never good at it. I never knew how to play one, except the C chord. I did have the romantic notion of being able to play music like rockstars but I understand that it will not happen in this lifetime. I even tried it during the lockdown but lost interest. 
So I am giving up on it. And on Uke. Sorry, Vivek and Krishna. This means I will give em away. If any of you wants it, tell me why should I give you these two things that two of the dearest friends got me. 
I may pick it up again if I live long enough. But quitting for the time being. 
– sgElectra. 
I am ready to move on from it. 
Will hand it over to M (of the M&m fame) and she can choose what to do with it. 
– Relationships. 
No more attachments No more drama. No more putting myself on the sidelines.

4.2 And here are a few things that I want to do for others

This is an incomplete list but I really want to do these things… 
  • Get PM a larger team so that the mission she is on is easier to achieve. 
  • Get SJ a Jag. Among other things.
  • Get a house to PY. 
  • Get SS to revenue. 
  • Get SG a sustainable revenue source. 
  • Move parents in with me. This means I will have to have enough to have two houses next to each other. And not in Delhi, please. This is the first time I am making this public. 
Each of these “get” is essentially me playing a tiny part in their efforts as they work to find their destiny. Plus, each of these people are very very important to me and I need to do whatever it takes to make them happy and all. Yeah, all these are part of Social / Family. 
I also want to mentor 100 kids this year (Social/Impact). I don’t know where to find these and what to do with these. Let’s see. 

4.3. Finally, here are some moonshots… 

Moonshots are those things that would most probably not happen, but I would still gun for those.
  • Become a venture capitalist (Social / Impact). At a time when every nukkad wala baniya is one. Every kid (that has a rich father) is a VC now. Every professional with more than 10 years of experience is one. But then, I sincerely believe that I can be good with capital allocation, especially in terms of impact. Let’s see.  
  • Adopt an old bungalow and convert it into a cultural hub of sorts that creative people can call home. Maybe replicate it across the world. Like Soho House but far more affordable and far more meaningful. Got inspired by this person. Part of Personal / Curiosity.
  • Travel to Japan. It’s been on my radar for a while. Now that AD has a place there, I can shack up! 
  • Get a car. May be something that allows me to pack all that I own into it and live on the road for good! Won’t be a bad idea. Personal / Hobby.
  • Script a film. Personal / #lifeGoal. Lol!

So, that’s about it. 

Hope 2021 is the greatest year for all of us. I plan to send quarterly updates on this. Let me know if you’d like to receive these. Till then, over and out. 
Oh, in case you need me to help you with any of your yearly plans, please please do let me know. 
Saurabh Garg
9 Jan 2021
Goa
PS: I use the following tools this time around: YearCompass (free), Vision Board (a simple document where I pin things that I want to come true. I used to have a physical board, now I have a Google Slides), Jan 1 Sheet (a Google Sheets where I capture all key things in life and it tells me that I have less than 1930 days to go for my top 3 #lifegoals), 2020 page on Roam. 

PPS: In case you are curious, here are yearly posts from previous years – 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, 2015, 2014, 2013, and 2012. I am sure there are documents from 2011 and earlier but I will have to dig hard. 
PPPS: No, please don’t tell me that everyone else had a bad year as well. My house does not run on how I fare compared to others. 
PPPPS: To be able to do these, I would lean on SJ2. I will have a tracker that lists the process and my adherence to it. 
PPPPPS: As always these are very very lofty goals and even if I get to a fraction of what I have documented, I will be sorted in life. So, let’s see. 
PPPPPPS: Thanks to Akshay, Vanita, Vivek for reading early drafts of this and helping me think better. 

in2020, I will…

This is an email that I sent to a select set of friends and family. Reproducing it here in full. In an attempt to live a more open and accountable life.

I know I know.
I am late.
Terribly late.
On both things – the monthly email that I send to you (so late that I did not even send it in Dec 19) and on the yearly plan for 2020. Will send both today in this one email. And I am publishing this on the internet (on my blog) so that others may use this, should they want to. And hold me accountable. As some of you have done so far! 

Recap of 2019
So, 2019. Not the best year of my life. Funnily, neither was 2018. 
In Jan of 2019, I wrote this post and made a list of things that I’d do in the year. For ease of reading, here is how it looked like…


I thought hard about each goal before I articulated it. Each goal had a specific reason for inclusion in the list – if I achieved the goal, I would change who I am as a person.

But I missed all of these.
By a large margin. To a point that when I was doing the review, I realized that I aimed way too high. As they say, I shot out of my league. 

Which is a good thing. 
And a bad thing. 
Good – aim for the moon and land among the stars. 
Bad – get depressed about the non-achievement.
I’ll come back to this.  
On the tangibles, the biggest #win would be that I survived a tough year. I don’t know if it was evident from my lifestream (on the blog, twitter, etc) but it was tough as hell! Multiple reasons – clients did not spend as much with me, some projects failed to take off (Jamoon, Hop197, saurabhgarg.com, Titan Consulting), as an individual I could not deliver on few projects where I was the DRI and so on and so forth. And yet, I survived. 
On the upside, I did make a film (and met some of the icons of the performing world), met some really really kind people that now take an active interest in my career (and keep me sane), opened doors to opportunities (that hopefully would get monetized eventually) and (like I said), survived. Oh, and I learned that when the times are tough you are often left to fend for yourself. Everyone is struggling with so much in their lives that they simply do not have the time to think about you!
The biggest #fail would be that I could not grow C4E. It’s stagnating. I could’ve grown the business but I clearly could not. The growth of this one is important because the core business (events and brand) is what gives fuel to all the exciting projects that I am a part of (and allows me to fund those experiments). I need to accelerate that #in2020. Staying on that, the thing that keeps me up is that C4E and all the allied things I do are merely taking things from 1 to 1.3 or something. I am not doing anything in the 0 to 1 space. Or even 1 to 100. I am not adding any tangible, real value to the world. I am not making any dents. All I am doing is doing a different take on what others have done before me. If I were to disappear tomorrow, not one person would miss what I do. Imagine if Apple were to disappear, would you miss what they do? That! I want to do what people at Apple, Google, Facebook, Amazon, and other such places are doing. They create new things. They create a 1 from 0. They make that ding in the universe. 

Moving on. 


Thanks to YearCompass, I did a structured recap of the year gone by. Which was good. I now know where I was fucking up. I did not have a process to achieve the large goals that I was chasing. I do know about systems vs goals thinking but I never implemented a system. 2020 on, I would. You’d see it… 

So, in terms of themes, if I were to list a set of reasons for my inability to reach those goals, I would say they would be…

  • I plan for things out of my league but I do not put in place the processes to deliver those.
  • I overestimate my ability to do things.
  • I overestimate my ability to get things done.
  • Once I solve the problems in my head, I do not want to actually do the hard work of solving those IRL. Thanks AS for helping me articulate this.
  • I am a great starter. And I like to finish things as well (my finish rate would be mid 20% – which is low and I want to work hard to finish 100% of things that I start). What I suck at is the messy middle. Again, thanks to AS for helping me identify this. 
  • I am more of a ‘react to situations’ person. Rather than being proactive.
  • I am easy on myself. If I miss a goal, I do not reprimand myself. I do not seek accountability from myself. And if I work with (or for) someone, I do not want to disappoint them and feel accountable for their money / time / inputs. And thus I work harder. Maybe I am not fit for being an entrepreneur?
So, I just need to fix these!

To end the 2019 piece, I’d say the same thing that I’ve been saying all this while – there were a few hits and a few misses but I could’ve done 2019 better!

#in2020
Now, the part that you’ve all been waiting for ;P 

The YearCompass that I used to do a recap? It also gave me a framework to think about 2020. Along with that, I used the TinyChange Planner. And between the two documents, I think I have a pretty decent hang of how I want to spend my 2020.

Before I come to specific goals, here are the large themes per se… 

  • I need to put systems in place for each goal. 
  • Like I said, I am more of ‘react to things and situations’ person. Need to fix this. I need to get over my inability to make things happen. 
  • Get more social. And become a magnet. While I do that, I need to become a super-connector (which is a large #sglifetheme) and become reliable (you know, the guy that gets things done, just like The Transporter). This means that I need to become that guy that knows a guy that can get things done. For sure. And while that happens, I need to become that guy that you like! 
  • I need to ACT on getting healthy. May be, start eating meat (this is a touchy topic and more I read about this, more I am indecisive). Start with a workout for sure. 
Further, I don’t know where I read but it said that you need to identify that one-word mantra that you could remind yourself time and again about (especially every time you slack). The mantra must make you jump out of the bed when you are in the mood to snooze. I have one for #2020. 
Here… 

That, ladies and gents is my mantra for 2020. Act.

Every time I am bored or uninspired or not motivated or lethargic or in the mood procrastinate, I would look at this and move to the task at hand. And act.

Armed with all these, coming to specifics, like the previous years, I will chase goals under certain categories – wealth, health, relationships, writing, and others. Of course, I do have a long list (and its almost similar to what I had in 2019), this year around thanks to Tiny Change, I will focus on three goals and three goals only (other things will become side projects). Caveat. The very core of these documents is the tenet that you would focus on a few things. Now, this is unlike me! You know, I am not just a petty thief?

So the three large goals for 2020 are… 
  • Book 2 
  • Complete a marathon in under 5 hours
  • Make a business that has a topline of 50 crores 

Each of these is daunting, exciting, tough, out of the league and so on and so forth. And each of these is definite, measurable, have a binary outcome and is of course timebound. And each of these is in line with what I want to do in life! If I get these, I would be close to the #lifeGoals.


Again, thanks to Tiny Change, I have further divided these three in key initiatives that I must take to achieve. For example, for the book, I need to… 
  1. Write 100K words before Jun 2020
  2. Build a community of 100 beta readers that are interested in reading my book 
  3. Build my understanding of the art and craft of writing by reading 10 books on the topic
And each of these has further bifurcation (systems!). For example, to build a community, I need to learn by doing multiple experiments. And I have done similar bifurcations for all three large things. And

So, three goals for 2020. Let’s see how they pan out.

And yes, I do have a few other things that I will work on, you know, side hustles. Things like Poker, 100 Rejections, SoG Volume 1, meditation, guitar, etc. And I do have a long list of those – see this. But they will remain what they are – side hustles!

Metrics
While I will track these closely, I also need to put some dashboards and metrics that I can use to understand how I am doing. For example, AS (from above) says that if things are working out, there has to be an uptick in the chart. Say, through the year, my weight must reduce, the money in the bank must go up and so on and so forth. I will chase. RB has been asking me to get access to communities that are closely guarded. This is a binary goal (just like the Marathon is) and it’s either happened. Or not happened.

So that’s that.

End Notes
In the end, like I was talking to a friend, I don’t regret the decisions or the path that I’ve taken in life. But I do regret the ability to act and make things happen. Going forward, I hope to change that. You know, act!

So yeah. That’s 2020. I hope 2020 is where things start to fall in place. Hope the same for you. May the year is full of love, luck, and happiness. May you live long and prosper.

Thank you for reading.

Over and out.
Saurabh Garg
04 02 2020

PS: In case you need help in planning your time and all, happy to help. Please do let me know.

PPS.: In case you are curious, here are similar posts from previous years: 2019, 2018, 2017, 2015, 2014, 2013 and 2012.

PPPS: Tools I used to arrive at these…

  • TinyChange Planner. Some 800 bucks on Amazon. 
  • YearCompass. Free.
  • A few homegrown excel sheets, Asana lists, notes, and notepads. I use free versions of all these apps. Except for GSuite. Happy to share templates. Please do let me know.
PPPPS: The yearly list that I wrote for 2018 was the best ever I think.

PPPPPS: In the words of a friend, I hope we all slay in 2020.

#in2019, I will…

Hello hello! Long time no see!

In case you dint hear, I was on this self-imposed digital detox. I know these things are often attempts at vanity but trust me I was not trying to be vain. A lot was (and is) happening with life and I needed a break from the routine. And routine from me was work, hustle, dream. Repeated in an unending cycle. In an ideal world, you want this cycle to be a growing spiral (you know the difference? Dont you? Scroll to the bottom of my version of difference). But since it was a circle, I needed to get away from it and look up. And thus the break.

Anyhow.

So, its 2019. We are one year away from that fabled 2020 that all of us looked up to when we were kids. Unrelated, the other fabled time horizon that everyone looked up to was Y2K. And thats like 20 years ago. 

Truth be told, 2018 hasnt been the best year of my life.
Far from it.
In fact if I could undo it, I would.
I am not sure what did I get out of the year, apart from some very expensive lessons. I will probably talk about them in a few days (once I am ready) but for the time being, allow me to see ahead.

Coming to 2019.
2019, ladies and gents, means a new year. A new beginning.
And like every year, I want to make a longish list of all the great things that I will achieve in this year!

Oh, I dont know if you know or not, I am big on this concept of new year. Each year I spend substantial time thinking about how I’d make the new year the best of my life.
I write long notes on what I want to do.
I think hard about the year gone by.
I think harder about where I want to be.
And I look at my abilities.
I marry all three and then I come up with a list of things that I think I can do in the year ahead.
And because I was in this digidetox towards the end of 2018, I could not access my tools to do the homework required. I even made plans to travel to the hills for 3 days to work on these yearly things but because of a last minute snafu I couldnt go. Lol, such a cry baby! 

Not important.

Important is that even though I could not spend the days leading to the new year in deep contemplation, I could still think of 4 large themes that I would chase in2019.

These are Writing, Health, Meditation, Relationships (how obvious 😉 and how similar are these to your previous year themes!)!

From these four keywords, I have culled out things, goals, resolutions, plans that I want to work towards and achieve in 2019. Each thing adds up to get me closer to these 4 things. And these 4 take me closer to my life goals (Everest, $1Bn, Impact a billion lives).

So, in2019, I will…

  1. attend a 10-day Vipassana retreat. I went for one in 2009 and its apt that I go after 10 years! 
  2. do 4 Keto cycles of 20 days each.
  3. launch 12 new projects. One each month. I am not sure what these projects would be but they have to be side hustles that allow me to make money. And more importantly, teach me!
  4. turn off technology for 3 consecutive days (weekends hopefully), once a month.
  5. read 24 books. I used to be a voracious reader at a point in time. I lost it somewhere. I will get back to reading this year. Biographies and supertexts only.
  6. work with 50 students and be the shoulder that they could stand on. Preferably MBA students. If you know someone who may need a mentor or sorts, please do point them to me. 
  7. do a water-fast one day each week.
  8. run / walk 10KMs every day.
  9. meditate 20+ minutes each day. Want to be able to do 45 minutes everyday. YNH does 2 hours EVERY day! 
  10. write 200,000 words this year that are available for public consumption. These would be spread across my blog, SoG, Book2, Podium etc.
I will track these goals and more importantly the progress here (a shared cloud document).
You are welcome to see and recommend changes.
Each thing has a reason for being in the list. 
Each is a number. So I can measure how I am doing with respect to the goal. 
Most have a frequency component (for example, to be able to write 200K words in the year, I will have to write about 700 words per day on an average). This will allow me to track my progress. 
I know I have conspicuously left out work here.
Not that it is not important to me – rather, I cant differentiate work from life (or home or play or whatever). Just that I am not prepared to think of tangible work goals yet. I will do so over the next few days. Before the first week is over. That will leave me with 51 weeks but its ok. One of the things that I learnt in last year was not to be harsh on myself.  
Thats about it! 
Oh, if you do wish to indulge me further, pray do tell me what is that one big thing that you’d do this year. And do tell me if you need help with that. If not with specifics, I can be a great tool that reminds you to stay on course. 
All the best for 2019. 
Hope the year is full of love, luck and happiness. 
May you live long and prosper. 
Love,
Saurabh

P.S.: In case you are curious, here are similar posts from previous years: 2018, 2017, 2015, 2014, 2013 and 2012.
P.P.S.: Oh, while I wrote this, I was tripping onto Faridkot’s Haal E Dil. Must support more indie work. Wish there were a way to show people beyond the ones that can buy media! Maybe I’ll add to my todo list.

P.P.P.S.: Cycle vs Spiral.
Cycle – a never-ending loop that does not have the beginning or the end.
But has distinct stages.
And you are merely moving between those stages without any growth.

Spiral – again, a never-ending structure with distinct stages.
But at each stage, you grow up and you are doing things at a larger scale.
You are growing.

I’ rather be in a growing spiral.

P.P.P.P.S.: This is probably one of those few years where I have not included wealth (or money) in my list. Of course I want to move towards that. There IS a financial goal that I have set for myself. But I want it to be the byproduct of how I live. Journey, as they say, has to be more rewarding.

#note2self. Must do a post on how 2018 went and the big lessons I took from the year. 

#SoG42 – Personal Fitness

This is one of the emails that I send to some friends and strangers. The emails are based on one thing that I learnt in the day and how that could be applied to becoming better versions of self. If you want to get these emails, please lemme know (on twitter). 

#SoG 42 – Personal Fitness This one comes at the request of one of the readers. She says she’s saturated with all the “heavy” things and needs something lighthearted. And thus, this one is aimed to be that.
Lemme start with a question.
When was the last time you threw up? And what did you do that made you throw up?
Most common answer would be, after a party. Some months ago. After all most recipients on this letter are sane!

When did I last threw up? Today morning! I dont know if I have mentioned this earlier but one of my #lifeGoals is to climb the Mt. Everest.
And then if that goes well, probably goto other peaks.
But Everest to start with. And I WILL do it before Jan 1, 2026.

This means that when I take the shot at it, I need to have about 60K USD + inflation + whatever else is required, 3 months of free time where I can make the attempt and most importantly, be in the prime of my health! Health means fitness, stamina, will power etc.

And that is what I have started to work on from this December.
I am on Keto Diet (to help get back in shape).
I ensure that I walk 8 KMs everyday.
And finally, today I started with Cardio. HIIT.
Went to a class and all that.
At 6 AM. In the morning.
Like a hipster – in Decathlon shorts (black), black Nike training shoes and a black Nike dry-fit tee.
It was so black that my bald head was reflecting the mood of the moon.
Blacker than the blackest black you’ve ever seen.
Thats not the point.

Point is, we started at 6.
Did some warm up and while doing do, I was sure that I will kick ass of everyone else around.
It seemed so easy.

Till we reached a point where the trainer asked us to do burpees. Now burpees is nothing too difficult. We’ve seen enough and more people do it on them youTube videos. No? All you do is jump, kneel down on all four and extend your legs backward. Then up get up again, jump, kneel, leg extension. In that order. Over and over again. Its that simple. Try it. Its like a cake walk. I knew I could do a 100 of those if I had to.

I was like, bring it on.


First one was great. I jumped so high I touched the clouds. Kneeling was easy-peazy. I suck at push-ups (throwing my legs back to stretch seemed like a push-up to me, so will use push-up to talk about it) but I did that one fairly easy. I was feeling good. The best day of my life! I could see the Mt. Everest.

Second was even better. I jumped and I felt like Icarus. And I think I did the push-up faster than you can say push-up. I could see myself as Farhan Akhtar doing those 100 reps. I was on my second. 98 more to go.

And on the third, I was going to launch myself out of the space with the jump. Which I think I did. And I went down to prep for the push-up. And… and, I passed out.

Well, not really. But I knew I’ve had enough.
I couldnt continue.
And I took the permission from the trainer and sat.
And I promise you, the gut was in my mouth and I was this —> <—- close to throwing up.
And may be I did. I dont know if I did.
I was in that delusion-ary phase where you just want to lie on your back and gasp for air and nothing else matters.

Ladies and gents, in less than three burpees, I was dead.
People around me may have done 5. Or 50. We’d never know.

But I have not lost hope. I will prevail. It was Day 1. And I hate stasis.

Wish me luck! See you tomorrow.

Thanks,
@saurabh

Back to being good. Dubai 2018, Day 06

Finally a silver-lining. A day where I got some work done, ate right, went for a walk (on the treadmill), wrote, thought, met some people and got some office work done as well.

Well, well. This is what life is supposed to be. Just need to make some money (ok, LOT) and find people to spend that money with (I do have those people but they are FAR away). Lemme elaborate.

So, I am now in a hotel where little things are taken care of. Like breakfast. I am ok skipping it most times but when I am travelling and things are limited, I like the breakfast because thats the only time when things are predictable. Other times, when on a holiday, could go haywire and that means that I often need to compromise on what to eat and all that.

Lesson A. Just realised that so much of my life revolves around breakfast. I need to fix this. I should be able to go hungry for a few hours – I am not sure if I am suffering from a diabetes or something that makes me want to eat all the shit I eat. Or if its any psychological disorder that makes me fill my belly with food. Whatever it is, I need to fix it. I have to find ways to be able to go without food. And it not without food, I need to be able to do a 18-6 IF for sure. Its tough but I can manage. I did when I went for Vipassana way back in 2009.

So, like I said, I am at a hotel. I woke up on a nice bed (way too nice for my standards), in a room that was set to 22 degree. Perfect. Then I took a shower where the water actually, well, showered on me (and not trickled). And then the hotel am staying has a co-working spacish feel to it in one of the common areas (it’s actually a letswork). Went there. And wrote and worked. Then towards the evening I met an acquaintance. Got some more work done at a Starbucks. And then back to hotel. Where I went on the treadmill and cranked about 20 mins at 6 kmph. Ended with a light dinner with my friend and his girl.

As I edit this, I realise that most things I did are pretty inane but you know, I was craving for exactly this inaneness. I wanted a comfortable place that as fast internet, high ceilings, a table and a chair and no one to bug me if I sit for long hours. This hotel is exactly that. And more. There is a gym (yes I went to the gym, on the treadmill). There is a store that sells coke (for the craving). And there is that comfort that allows me to think. And like all places outside of India, staff is courteous and unobtrusive. Actually, I must say that people in general in Dubai have been better and better behaved than they are in India. They are professional, respect time and are generally hard working. Most of them, if you ask me are working out of fear (and not out of motivation). The fear of losing their jobs in an expensive country is a great fear. If I were here, I would have worked harder. Ok, am ranting. Back to the post.

Got this on WA a few days ago. 

So, I like this feeling of niceness around me – the kinds that you get at informal hotels. Can I replicate this once I am back? I am anyway no hoarder (I dont have any bags) and I am happy living out os a suitcase. The thing to think on thus and Lesson B is, can I go and live at some serviced apartment once I am back in India?

I know it will be expensive and I dont have the money. But now that I’ve taken a resolve to improve my life, if I cant move into a serviced apartment complex, I am sure I can throw some money to make my house into a serviced apartment. May be a full-time help? May be a girlfriend? May be an EA. I am sure it can be done. One of the things that I am supposed to do is control my expenses (especially, the rent that I pay).

The other thing I want to talk about is the treadmill. I got onto a treadmill probably the second time in my life. The last time I used one, I think I was still in Delhi (so at least 4 years ago). And honestly, I dont recall what happened on that treadmill back then. So, on the treadmill, I did about 20 minutes yesterday. Compared to about 45 minutes that I was doing most days when the year started. Probably treadmills ARE boring (something that I’ve always suspected). I even put a Feynman video. It was super and yet it could not hold my attention. But then from the look of things, I probably will have to rely on a treadmill, more than on the road. And thus I need to train myself to live in a gym. Like those gym rats ;). Lesson C? For things like exercise and food, get flexible. To a point where you dont have to cheat. 

So yeah, the thinking, the work has started to happen. Food is ok. Keto is not happening but I am on a lo-carb diet. Can pick up Keto once am back home. Things look ok. A big yay for that. Pat on the back.

The other thing that I’d want to add is that I need to read more. And start work on #book2. And meditate. These three were big on the agenda for this break. And I havent done anything about these.

Oh, one more thing. I found a one dirham coin under a sofa while I was talking to my sis on the phone. Why is this importnat? Because, I think its a sign! Thing is, when I was travelling for work when I was at Gravity, on each international trip, I’d always find some money on the road. Like the entire world was giving me a sign that you are gonna be rich. Literally every road was paved with gold! It became such a routine and I knew that I will find money lying around if I am travelling out of the country.

Last few trips (especially towards the time when I was quitting Gravity, I stopped finding these coins and notes). In fact I cant recall when was the last time I found one. Except yesterday. so, is that a sign? May be it is. May be it is not. Whatever. I just hope it was. And good things and rainbows and unicorns are all around the corner 🙂

That’s it for Day 06.

Saurabh Garg
April 18, 2018
Dubai

P.S.: No I am not going to any touristy spots. Two reasons. A, I’ve been to enough and I dont get fascinated anymore, unless there is a story attached to it. #note2Self: Why do I travel then? B, this trip is not leisure per se. I want to get some shit done and I cant afford to not do things. I am supposed to buy stuff for friends and family – I am yet to do that. When I goto do it, I will probably see whatever places I encounter. And oh, I will buy some postcards. You guys want some? 

Untitled, Dubai 2018, Day 05

So I finally started work. 5 days after I came here (out of the 15 days I had for myself). But then, better late than never. I think checking into a hotel has helped matters. There is this definiteness about a hotel that you don’t get at a home – things are managed automatically (food, cleaning, laundry, maintenance etc) and they are generally impersonal. So all there is, is you and the work.

And you know what? I value these material things. I am not the ones to subscribe that doing dishes or buying grocery brings you closer. I think any shared experience can do that. I’d rather outsource these chores. When I work, I dont want to fret with the small stuff.

The day was pretty ok. I walked a lot, I said no a couple of times (even though I feel obligated to say yes), I ate healthy (except the dinner), I met a couple of people from MDI, picked their brains on what could be done with C4E, took out time to think and then checked into a hotel. And you know what, got access to a decent bed.

So, a few lessons am taking away from this day, and the experience are:

a. I like comfort. This is not new. Just that its getting reinforced with each experience. The takeaway is that I must seek comfort. Even if I have to pay for it, I must.

b. Saying no is not easy. It makes me sad. Social proof and need to belong and all that. Again, I’ve known this and its getting reinforced. The good part is that the benefits outweigh the agony (of disappointing people).

The other sad thing about this is that there is evident disappointment when you say no. And I think that with each disappointment, you push people away. At least I am pushing them far from me. I have seen that I’ve actually pushed people away so much that they dont even care about me anymore. Which, I think is ok. After all I am on a mission and everything and everyone that stops me from taking the shot at it can leave. The ones who really care will stay. They will be around. The ones who get offended, all the best!

c. I met VS and we had this longish chat about things. I asked him about what I should be doing in life. I laid out options as I see in front of me, so that I may reach my #lifeGoal (lists here and here)! To my mind, my approach was very simple. I looked at where I am. I looked at all the options in front of me. I listed the alternatives. I then put in place odds of success (and failure) for each. And, finally I wanted someone to listen to things and give me an opinion.

And instead of opinions, he had an interesting take. He said identify the right question to ask. The question I’d rather be asking is, what do I want to do in life. Well, its a tough one. I know what I want to do in life. I want to entertain and inspire. And how do I want to do this? I dont know. Whats the tangible? I dont know. If I knew, I’d be doing it already! 

The next thing that he asked me to think on was, who do I want to be? The answer was simple. While I’ve wanted to be a Steve Jobs, a Bill Gates and an Elon Musk lately or a Jeff Bezoes, I am beginning to realise that I am not the kinds to be able to create things myself. I am willing to put skin in the game (read this thread) but I am not sure I am the kinds to run one thing meticulously. I am more of a big picture and vision guy. I am the kinds that likes to acquires a lot of ideas, know about things (and not know things), interact a lot and then let connections happen. Basically you are a socialite. I am not the kinds to go deep. But I am for sure a connector. And I am happy connecting people. And I love to give gyaan that is rooted deep into my experience and understanding of the world. Someone like Paul Graham or may be Ron!

Fuck! epiphany. I make connections and often leave at that. I need to be able to somehow make money from this! Of course without bastardizing the entire thing.

Now that I know what I want to be, he said, whats stopping you from becoming that? He said, what stops you from moving to SFO where all the action is and chase the pie? The rationalising mind kicked in and I thought of answers like family, friends etc. And while I was at, being the bastard VS is (in a good way), he asked me to book the ticket on the spot!

To further his perspective, before I could ponder on more rational things and get worried about money, he said money follows if you are on the right track. He gave me examples from his life and his work. It sounded inspiring – exactly how I want to be! 

I was so tempted to take the advice and I almost did it! But then the pragmatic me won the race (or may be I got scared of it?) and I decided against it. May be I will take his advice once I have the conviction. I will atleast start working on it. Write to a few interesting companies and offer assistance.  
Thats it from VS. I am so lucky to have him around! 

d. Water. I love water. So much that I can drink it all the time. And here in Dubai, the concept of tap water is absent. There is bottled water and its expensive as fuck. So I am not drinking as much water as I would want to drink.

And because I am not drinking enough water, I think I am not being able to think well. I will tweak this tomorrow and figure out. Lets see.

***

So yeah, thats about it for the day. Over to tomorrow.

Saurabh Garg
April 17, 2018
Dubai

M. Money.

Post 2 in series of 30 posts in April. Each about a thing that I am grateful / happy about. Today I will talk about Money! Others in the series are W. 

M. Money.

If you are a regular reader of what I write, you would have noticed that I talk crib a lot about money, poverty, unfairness of life, purpose, reason etc.

Truth be told, I am doing fairly ok for myself. In the sense that I have enough and more to live a upper-middle class lifestyle. I live in a decent house (rented of course). I have the latest iPhone available in the market. I buy the best brands. I eat good quality food. I travel to international destinations often. And so on and so forth. I have enough money in the bank to last me another 6 months if I stop working today.

And I am so thankful and grateful for that. Really am.

Of course a lot of things had to come together to make this happen. I had to get a good hand at the Ovarian Lottery to end up with my parents. They had to have the insight to send my sis and I to good schools. And pay for expensive education. I had to be lucky to get an admit at MDI. I had to have the keeda for learning. And I had to have a certain mention proficiency to be able to absorb things. You see a chain of things that had to work well?

What am I, if not lucky?

So, like I said, I am doing ok. A thing like money has no end to it. I do have enough if my aspirations were limited. If I were a simpleton, I could’ve retired on what I have!

But. The damn but.

But that’s the problem as well. I do not have simple aspirations. They are tall. About 8848m tall. And more. I want to do large things. And to do large things, you need large ideas. Or access to large capital.

I don’t have any big ideas to be honest. I am a mere aggregation of other giants that I have had the opportunity to stand on the shoulders of. So if I have to make those inroads and make this world a better place, I need to have access to large amounts of capital. Now I was not born a Baron. So I need to do things that can make me that kind of wealth.

And that can NOT happen with the ideas I have. Or my talent. Or the amount of money I have. And neither it can happen with the potential I have. So I need to work hard, slog and get access to more. And that’s what keeps me up at night. The question is not “if”. But “when”. More on my dreams and ideas and aspirations some other day. Today its about being thankful for what I have.

Over n out.

Dear Steve,

A friend asked me, “if you were to write to Elon Musk about your aspirations and ambitions and what you want to do in life, how would you?”


This blogpost is in response to that. But before that, few caveats.
  • I will NOT write to Elon. Rather, I would email Steve. Thing is, the outcome and vision and purpose-driven approach of Elon is fascinating and exciting. But Steve, the legend, is what is inspiring. I love the fact that he was a hustler (compared to an Elon that is a tinkerer). 
  • I’d assume that ambition is personal, more tangible. And aspiration is little more altruist. Read more here. 
So, here’s the letter. 

Dear Steve,
Thank you.

For being who you were are. And being an inspiration that makes me want to do more and make that dent. Or ding. Or whatever.

It is you who taught me that our actions must create consequences. Consequences that are larger than self. Larger than our imagination.

It’s by following you (and your actions and your words) over the years that I have understood my limitations. And I have found ways and means to overcome those limitations. I still suck at getting things done but I am getting there. All thanks to you.

Thanks to you, I know that the only thing that limits us, is our imagination. You taught me how to think big. You taught me to take tiny steps and keep at it till you reach there. You showed me the power of setting lofty goals and challenging what we thought was possible. Thank you, Steve.

Steve, I write to you to seek a favour. Will you please indulge me? I want to talk about what my aspirations are. And I want to talk about my ambitions and what I want to do in life.

Steve, when I look at the world around me, I see so much potential getting wasted in frivolous things. Things that dont add up. Things that dont add value. Things that dont create. Lemme give you an example. Today, I was coming back from work in a train and I saw a young couple arguing about a mobile game. And they were stuck on the game for the 20 minutes it took the train to reach my destination. And they werent happy. What if they could use that time to learn a new thing (by seeing a TED talk, or by reading a book or by watching a tutorial or something). Or at least debate about how they’s plan their finances!

The world would be such a better place if that happened.

You know that’s what I want to work on. Make people more aware about our limited time here. You talked about in your Stanford address. I was lucky to have seen it. Someone needs to talk to them as well. And inspire them to do more with their time. Of course someone may argue that its all pointless (we die, our kids die, our kids’s kids and the world will eventually come to an end and all that we stand for, all that we create will amount to nothing) but I know that while we are alive, when people are creating, they are lost in the work. They get in the flow and the flow is the closest that it comes to Nirvana. The little things that make life miserable cease to exist when you are creating. Reminds you to Carl’s Pale Blue Dot.

Life suddenly starts looking so much better. No?

This, Steve, is my aspiration. This is what I really want to do. Its fuzzy AF. The fuzziest thing that I’ve ever thought about. But I believe that there’s merit. 

And what is my ambition?

I want to push limits.

Physical, mental, emotional. And at other levels that us humans can experience.

I know that I am not sorted in the head. There are times when I am elated that I am jumping with joy for no reason and there are times when I so sad that I just want to sleep. But Steve, most days when I wake up, the world does look like a great, inspiring place. Life looks like a “journey” that is worth taking. There are so many people doing so many things that you thought humans were incapable of. Look at Elon. Wait. Look at Wright Brothers or whoever made the first aircraft. They allowed us to fly. Look at Elon. He will not rest till he has colonised Mars!

While I want to push limits, Steve, I know that I am a drifter. I’ve never had the clarity in terms of where I want to end up. I also know that I dont have one specific talent that I can dig at till I make that dent. I am a proverbial Jack of all trades and I am happy being one. Thing is, I love this drifting. I love that I can walk the surface of a lot of disciplines. I know this is best suited for someone with a lot of money. But its ok. I will make my money. Ok, I am drifting while writing the letter. Coming back. Steve I want to push limits and in the process, inspire others.

In fact, lately, I have started to realise that I get immense happiness and satisfaction and I sleep well at night when I am able to inspire others. And help others. And enable others. Enabling. Thats where the Gold is. Thats what I want to do. Enable.

Now enabling is too broad. If I were to put enabling in a box, I’d say I want to enable a billion people to live better lives.

Billion people. 

Better Lives. 
And how do I define better? Well, better means that if they are poor, I enable them to live in relative comfort and happiness. If they are unhappy, I put on the red ball on my nose and dance for them. If they need access to opportunities, I want to give them that. If they need  inspiration to do more, I want to inspire them.

I want to be the thing, the jester, the platform that enables people to be better. I hope you get the drift. 

One of the ways in which I can do this, is by doing amazing things and by doing em so well that I inspire people. To do more. To #bebetter. And to #livebetter, and #workbetter.
So, my second aspiration, if I may have more than one, is to make the world a better place. And do it by enabling people to be better versions of themselves. And while I become the enabler, my life (where I achieve a set of seemingly super-tough goals — each goal must push human limits, such as, make a billion dollars, run a marathon in less than 4 hours, live till 120 and more) and my actions and my conduct become a source of inspiration. Just like your life was, Steve.

Thats about it I guess. Phew.

Thanks for reading.

Your’s Faithfully,
Saurabh Garg

The Urban Nomads

So, yesterday day before few days ago at a cruise ship in HCMC, we were doing an event for the Indian offices for a UK based company. And one of the acts was a Filipino band that had two singers, one of them a Cuban.

Picture this. Retro English pop. In Vietnam. Arranged by a French woman who works for a company owned by an American. Artists from Cuba and Philippines. For guests from India and UK.

I dont even know how many countries is that. But I do know one thing. The mobility and opportunities that you have if you are an artist and are talented!

Thing is, I think that talent allows you to live wherever you wish to. And that is such a fascinating life to have!!

You know what am saying? You can choose a country you wish to live in. If you are talented enough, you can make enough to pay for your bills, and then some more. You can make friends that are not just accidental. You can chase your craft. You can hone it while you earn your bread by performing. You can see sex and cash in action. You know, you happen to things, rather than things happening to you!

Lemme park the talent bit for a while and drift.

***

There is this thing called the Urban Nomad. Its essentially refers to people that live in urban locales and yet are not tethered to a particular location. These people dont own anything that ties them down to one place (immovable assets, large families, a job that requires you to goto office everyday etc etc). You are free to move across borders and all that. And these people are skilled in one particular discipline that is in demand across borders (painters, photographers etc) and thus they can fend for themselves. Oh, and modern world is introducing lot more professions that allow you to become an urban nomad. Think of those bloggers, language tutors, Yoga instructors, chefs, entertainers and more.

And why am I talking about this? Because I have had this fascination with being an urban nomad and at various times in life I have thought of multiple ways in which I could become one. At different points in time, I have considered becoming a designer, a coder, a photographer, a writer, a yoga instructor, an English language teacher and / or more (assuming I can be all of these).

But then I’ve, sort of, held back myself for three reasons.

A, I know I am way too good to be cast in just one mould (and at the same time, not that good that I am in top 1%ile of any). This means that its in my karma to be never satisfied. I will run from one thing to another and my life will be defined by “chase” rather than “destination.”

B. I’ve wanted / still want a luxurious life for myself. Ok, not luxurious but abundant life. Where I dont have to think for 5 months (or wait for a stupid cashback scheme) to buy an iPhone X (PS: RG gifted me one and I couldn’t say no. Thank you, sir). Where I know I can travel business class without any fear (of poverty) or guilt (of splurging when my parents dont even travel in the plane). Where I know I have provided for enough to discharge my duties as a son and a brother and a friend. Where I know that if I were to take off, people would be happy and will not miss me. There is more. But I am sure you get the drift.

C. I dont want to live as someone who came, saw, enjoyed and left. My epitaph has to mean something. I want to give back. I want to pay it forward. I want to make an impact. And that can not happen if I an urban nomad, drifting from one place to another and one opportunity to another.

So yeah. I have wanted to travel the world and see the sights and soak in the experiences and meet new people and taste the different flavours that the world has to offer and talk to new people and learn all I could and all that. But then I’ve held back.

***

Coming back. This That evening at the boat where I saw that Cuban lady, the painful memories of the time when I wanted to move out of the country came back rushing to me. To the extent that my heart actually started aching. And ache as in ache. Like I had to sit down and sip on a glass of water.

But then, I realised that am not talented enough to chase nomadic life. Neither am I someone who has what it takes to hold onto a stable job that can pay me well enough to provide for my family. And I am miles away from the impact. So, I cant. And I need to accept it and put this on the list of things that I could not do (other things include play Cricket for India).

Also, I am reminded of this wonderful post by one of the giants that I stand on the shoulders of, Jan Chipchase. He recently wrote about moving to a new place, a new country. He says if you stop learning, you become obsolete and the best way to continue to learn is to move to a place that challenges you and makes you learn. And he says that the hardest part is making the decision.

For me, I think thats where it is. The #lifeGoal.

I want to be a nomad. I want to explore the world. Learn new things and make the fucking dent. But then, how do I…  leave my family behind? run away from my “responsibilities”? do this at this ripe old age of 35? Etc.

Any ideas?

Oh, I believe that I am one of those birds that hates to be caged!

From Shawhank. 

P.S.: One of the ways in which I can do this is by becoming a famous author. That allows me to make an impact (I will have an audience), travel (to talk about my book, on book tours etc) and provide for my responsibilities (royalty etc). But then odds of getting successful as an author as tiny as me hitting a royal flush on my first hand at the WSOP ME (whenever I get to it). 

#in2018, I will

This is my yearly post on things that I hope to achieve in the impending year. Most times I miss most goals but I still like the rigor of making lists. Plus once I have a list, it keeps me on track.


Here is the list of things that I will do #in2018.

Oh when I make this list, I consider the following.

  • Each bit on the list has to take me closer to my lifeGoals – a billion dollars (M), Mt. Everest (H), a billion lives (I). 
  • The list includes things that are tough enough that I have to work hard. And must be within reach. For example, while I may want to play cricket for India, I can not. I could on the other hand play Poker. Or Pool. Its not same as cricket but it is still a sport. 
  • Themes for the year. This year, the themes are health (stop doing anything that stops you from living to 120 – eating, travel, air, stress etc) and action (which should be a theme every year IMHO). And other smaller themes are positivity (get away from people / things / incidents etc that drag you down), challenges (need to get out of the comfort zone – need to do things that I’ve never done so far) and plant seeds for the long-term. 

So, #in2018, I will do the following. 

In no order,


[Work / M]

  • Make C4E amongst the best live entertainment businesses in the country. And subsequently, in the world. More about C4E is at https://medium.com/c4-entertainment. This has been on my radar since 2017. We made a few strides #in2017 but we suck at getting new business. Thats something that I need to fix this year. And I will.
  • Evolve AWSL into a brand consulting business. In 2017 I lost the plot with AWSL but I will get it back on track. 
  • Create a third revenue stream. When I say third, the first two are C4E and AWSL. In that order. Been trying to get a third stream for a few years now. Haven’t been able to do a thing about it. This year. 

[Health / H]

  • Be 30″ in girth. I am 36″ as we speak. #in2017 I hoped to be 32. But I am still 36ish. In fact I’ve been wanting to be fit for a long long time. And even though I’ve wanted, I am unable to do anything about it. I need to figure out how. 
  • Finish a half-marathon in 2 hours. I cant even run jog for 3 minutes on the trot as we speak. One of the things I am doing is to ensure that I intake less calories and walk for 45 minutes at least each day. One goalpost will be 5K in 30 mins.
  • Be able to do an unaided Shirshasana for 3 minutes. This essentially means that I need to get back to doing yoga. And doing a headstand would require enough rigor and practise to ensure that I am attending classes everyday. Plus, now that my nose is fixed, I should be able to start with yoga.

[Personal]

  • Final table a poker tourney that has more than 50 entrants. Again, this is a thing that I’ve had since 2017. And I played very less poker in 2017. I need to work on this. In fact, between poker, pool and may be guitar, I could find all recreation I need after a long day at work. 
  • Compete in an amateur pool tournament. I know I cant hit a ball straight but I enjoy the game. I love the challenge and more often than not, you can control the element of luck. So may be its something that I can work on.
  • Buy a car. I have to. Been wanting to buy for ever since I can remember. This year I have to. 
  • Travel to 5 new countries. I got a third passport booklet (as planned #in2017) and I now need to get 5 new stamps on it. If all goes well, I may get to travel to Cambodia this year. Need 4 more countries. May be I’ll drive through Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos route? 
  • Make more friends that inspire me. Work on relationships that make me better. Thing is, most “friendships” happen because you and friends share a common interest and are at the same place at the same time. Most times, apart from the common interest, you dont get to evaluate the personality of people. And over time you learn to live with the goods and bads in the personality of your friends. As a result you end up with people who stand by you when you need them but they do nothing to improve you as an individual. While that’s not a bad place to be at, its not the optimal use of the opportunity we have. I believe we are better off surrounding ourselves with people who may not back us up when we need them but push us when we need pushing. Makes sense? For example, you are a woman in India and you like writing and your parents instead want you to get married because “log kya kahenge?. Fuck them! Rather run away with a bastard that pushes you to write. Fuck the societal norms imposed on you. If your family drags you down, move on. If your spouse does not support you, move out. Ok, I am getting judgmental and preachy. Coming back. This year, I want to create more meaningful relationships where I get to grow. I want to be make friends with people who help me and push me to do better (and be a friend like that – if you are with me, I WILL push you to do more, do better). I will cut off ties with (have cut a lot already) people and relationships where I am dragged down. I need friends that support me in my pursuit of grand plans. When I say I dont want to do dinners because I want to sleep early to be able to wake up and write, I want my friends to understand. Get the drift? Or you need a blogpost for this?  

[Writing / I]

  • Complete #book2 and get it ready for publishing. Book 2 is late by 4 years. And I have had so many people ask me about it and I am sick of giving vague answers. I will do it this year. Also, I need to remind myself that books are tangible thing that you’ve “create”ed. You dont want to die a consumer. You know what I am saying? 
  • Make onWriting.in a key player in the Indian publishing business. I haven’t been able to give time to it. Need to pull up socks. 
  • [20 Jan 2018] Write 202 blogposts on this blog. 

[Moon Shots]
These are the things that are way too tough and big for me to achieve in one year. Plus each will require superhuman effort. Enough to take you to moon!

  • Empty my Asana dashboard each month. This will require super-human effort. I will have to get things done. Which to me is tougher than climbing the Everest! 
  • Ship one “project” each month. A project is an idea, a thing, a piece of output that is part of my interest area but is something that I know will not make commercial sense. May be it does eventually. But not at the stage of initiation. For example, onwriting.in. 
  • [H] Work towards The Everest. 
  • [I] Find out ways to impact a billion lives. Make a list. I am not sure if I can do this in this year but nothing prevents me from trying. Or at least making a list. Oh, I love lists. 
  • [M] Get to Rs. 5 crore in bank. Last year I wanted to end the year with a crore. I ended with about Rs. 3 lakhs. Sucks that 35 years of your life amounts to all of Rs. 3 lakhs. I mean if I were to die tomorrow, all my family would get is Rs. 3 lakhs. Funny no? So, rather than trying to get 1 crore again, up the ante. Get 5 crores. Shoot for the fucking moon, baby. How? I dont know. Will find a way. Or as they say, beg, borrow, steal. But then I am not someone who can beg or borrow or steal… 
  • [I] Make TUAP a must-listen podcast for entrepreneurs. More about it is at www.tuap.in. P.S.: This is a project. 
  • Meet one of my heroes (Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Chris Sacca, Tim Ferriss, Jason Calacanis, SRK, Lucky Ali, Prof. Sanjay Bakshi, Priyanka Chopra, Will Smith, Rabbi Shergill, Jeff Bezos, Warren Buffett, Charlie Munger and so many others). Lets see who all do I get to meet. May be the pi.co clone (that I’ve been planning for a few months) helps me reach there? P.S.: Another project.

[Daily Habits]
#in2017, I did this interesting thing. I picked a few “actions” and I performed those everyday. At least I tried to. These are essentially tiny tasks that do not take a lot of time. And over time, these add up.

For example, like this guys explains in his TEDx talk, he would do two pushups everytime he peed (and he increased the number to, I think, 8 pushups everytime he peed). It did not amount to much when he did those but the collective benefit of doing 20 odd pushups a day helped him get in shape. Its such a powerful idea – that small things can bring about tsunami of change. I was first introduced to this by Hemant but then along the way he and I lost the plot. Anyhow.

So, here’s a list of things I started to do everyday #in2017 and I hope to continue #in2018. And a list of things that I hope to start to do everyday #in2018.

  • Post a pic a day on Instagram everyday. I started this 35 days ago and I am so proud to say that in the last 35 days I’ve missed it just twice. This happened when I met Anusha on one of my trips to Bangalore and she challenged me to post a pic each day. 
  • Play Peak and Elevate each day. As we speak I am on 3 weeks unbroken streak with both. I am this close to buying em. Lets see. This happened when I realized that I can no longer remember a lot of things that I could. I, well, Googled and I realized that either I am not focused, or under stress, or am in premature stages of those brain diseases that affect us humans. I hate old age and the reason I hate it is the it leaves people incapable. I never want to be that. And hence these games. Honestly, I am not sure these games help but I like to know that I am doing something about my memory loss.
  • Use The Brain. Been using it for over a month now. Related to point above, I want to retain all that I have in my head. I want to use a tool. Nothing like The Brain. I dont see the advantages as yet but once I do, I will probably buy it. 
  • Maintain a daily journal of sorts. Been writing one since May 23. It started with this. My journal is on Google Drive (on the sheet that I use to track my life – goals, ambitions, hits and misses and other things). I want to jack this up by writing using a pen and paper. Helps me catalog my thoughts. 
  • Write every day. Last few months, I’ve been terribly busy and haven’t been able to write much. This year I plan to write everyday. Even if its like 500 words. #in2017, I tried multiple times but I failed. This time I will not.  
  • Walk for 45 minutes. Or do a session of Yoga. Again, I made multiple attempts to walk / run everyday but I failed. This time I will not. One of the things I did was to try and walk home from work (about 10 KM) and it was fun. The only fuck up was the road. Mumbai is not the place where you can walk. I need to find an alternative to walking. Lets see.
  • Rather than reading, listen to a podcast everyday. I realized this after I heard this podcast where Naval talks to Shane about his life. And among other things it changed the way I think about books. While there is a merit in learning by reading, to me, at the stage of life I am in, I am not sure reading books is anymore as efficient a tool (reading blogposts is!). More on this some other day. And I did listen to a lot of podcasts. I can club this with walk everyday. 45 minutes is enough to feed your brain with new things. Need to do more of this in the year. 
  • Ensure that I get in at least 2 maker days every week. Read more on maker day and manager day here. I promised myself that #in2017 I will have 3 maker days per week but I dont think I had 3 maker days in the entire year! I need HAVE to do this in2018. Thing is, the day we realise that we are better off as creators (makers) and not consumers, the world becomes a better place. We are no longer worried about opinions of people but we are about putting our head down and getting back to our work. You know what I am saying? May be more on this in one of the blogposts this year. 
  • Everything I say must carry weight and must have gravitas. That means I cant talk frivolous. That also means that I need to improve the way I talk (self-deprecating humor, exaggeration and other innuendos). In fact thats the word of the year 2017 for me. Vanita talked to me about this #in2017. I need to ensure that I live the word. Or as Rajesh Sir says, zubaan ki keemat honi chahiye. 
  • Keep a tab of all my expenses. I was doing it till I moved to Android. I will start it again. Today on. Also, while editing this, I realised that I no longer consider saving or spending less as important enough to include in this list. Which is a good thing. I’ve either internalised being thrifty. Or I have come to peace with myself that I am happy with misery? Dont know. 
Phew. This is a long list. To do everyday. 
Even if I remove the walking for 45 minutes and yoga bit, other things will require about 2 hours (at the least). And the best time to do these things, if you ask me is the morning. Because its impossible during the day. And if you try to do this at the end of the day, you never know how exhausted you are. And I know I am not a superhuman that I will keep emotions at bay and get things done after a day at work. So, may be I need to start earlier. Good thing is that I am anyway a morning person. In fact as we speak, I am at a Starbucks. Since 725 (and its 1040 right now) – I can get 2-3 hours of good work done in the morning, before the world wakes up. That, could be my unfair advantage.  
So all I need to do is get up at 4 AM. And get to work. Just that no Starbucks is open then 😉
[Misc]
Dont know what categories to put these in. These are good to have, not MUST have. And this implies, others are MUST have.

  • [H] Attend a 10-day Vipassana session. Wanted to do this #in2017 but could not. 2018 looks like a perfect time. May be as soon as Feb. 
  • Teach at a business school. #in2017, I did teach at an events diploma college. But I need to up the game and teach kids that already know lot more than I. It would get me out of my comfort zone. Read on themes for the year above. 
  • [H] Stand while working on a computer. That means I need to invest in a standing desk and a great pair of footwear. Oh that reminds me that may be in2018, I will finally get around to wearing shoes and getting dressed well. After all if I have to make money, I need to be presentable. No? Plus dressing up is so out of my comfort zone that I am willing to jump off an airplane!
*** 

That’s all. Look a lot but it ain’t not too much if I remain focused and act on things. ‘If’ and ‘Act’ are the key operatives here.

What are your goals? Do you have a list? Lets work together and make this the best year of our lives?

Thanks for reading. Feedback? Inputs? Help?

Saurabh Garg
1 Jan 2018
Mumbai

P.S.: For the record, here are similar posts from 2017, 2015, 2014, 2013 and 2012.

P.P.S.: #in2017 I wrote 41 posts. This year I will write more than 202 posts (number of posts I wrote in2008). This is #1.

The coaching conundrum

There is this Lucky Ali movie – Sur (wiki). I havent seen it but I know of the plot (thanks to this song). Then there is THE Whiplash.

While the two movies appear different, I think there is a common theme. That of this maverick who is on the lookout of someone that could take the legacy of the maverick ahead. Of course this is not exactly that either movie stands for but let me take that as the initiating thread. Maverick. Searching for someone to lead the legacy. Someone who’s inherently talented but needs some bit of polishing. Lemme pause here for a second. Will come back.

So, the thing is, I am no maverick and I am not sure if I can help shave off the edges but I think I am pretty ok in terms of brains and capability (though I have nothing to show for it). Lemme call this Thread A.

Thread B is that out of three things that I want to do in life (by Jan 1, 2026), one is impacting a billion lives. And while impacts could be tough to quantify,  I’d love if impact is so big, so huge that they are 10x better as a result of my intervention. And no, I dont mean to play no God. No, I am not chasing immortality. And no, I dont know how to go about it. But I do realise that thats what I want! And I want it bad. Bad like B-A-D.

Now I understand that I may not improve things at the 10X level for everyone. But if I could do a 10000X for some, I’d be happy. Think of Mickey Goldmill. Who worked with a nobody and made a Rocky outta him. What if I could be the Mickey Goldmill to a few? Work with them, enable them to be so good that the entire world recognizes their talent.

Of course all this assumes that I have what it takes to be the coach, a mentor, a guide, a someone that nudges you to be a better version of who you are. Or, like conventional wisdom says, you must have done better yourself and you must know what it takes to carve a raw stone into a diamond. Like Lucky Ali in Sur, like I-dont-know-his-name in Whiplash. Which I am not. So thats a problem as well. Lets call this C.

So, if I club A, B and C, one of the things that I MUST do in life is to be a mentor. A coach. And even though I may not be the best, I need to still learn and be one.

So, I try hard to be one. Everyone I meet, irrespective of their age or the place where they are at, I try and see possibilities (what makes me think that I can spot talent better than the people themselves or others in their respective lives? Nothing. Blind faith in self. Or overconfidence ;)). Some days I get lucky when I nudge some people. Those days are among the happiest days of my life. All the Serotonin that I’ve ever had in my life comes rushing into my head!

And all was hunky dory.

Till… Lol! Took me so many words, thoughts to come to the point. Sigh. Mr. Garg needs to work on brevity. 

Till… some days back, someone brought something to my notice. And while I want to dismiss it, it has stayed with me and I want to vomit the feelings out and not think about them again.

She said that while I love to “interrupt” regular lives of people and nudge them to do things that I think they ought to be doing, the person on the other end may not appreciate my interruptions. And since I come across as a pushy man, they often do not have the balls to voice their rejection. And as a result, rather than helping people, I end up hurting them. Rather than shaving off the rough edges, I break the damn rock.

And that, to me, is NOT cool at all.

Agreed that I want to make people better but I dont want them to suffer. Agreed that they may not know what is best for them. Agreed that even though they have the gift, they may not want to acknowledge it and not work on it. Agreed that 80% of what you need to be world-class at something requires just 20% of time and rest is deliberate practise. And as the beholder of the talent you may not want to chase it to perfection.

But… but… I believe that the road to greatness is paved with sacrifices and practise and it is definitely starts beyond your comfort zone. And as someone who’s been gifted with talent and brains and other things, its your moral responsibility to go chase greatness. Its a debt that you owe to the Universe. You HAVE to push hard and go achieve that greatness.

Why? Because with each shot at greatness, you would create something new. You will push limits. And in the process inspire others. If my mere nudge breaks you, may be you dont have the gift that I thought you had? It is unfair that I break someone who I thought had the gift. But if in the process of discovering the next big thing, I have had to do some collateral damage, I think I am ok with it!

And no, when I say these things, I dont think of people as objects. I think of them as conduits of doing the impossible. It is people that proved that Earth wasnt flat. We discovered the fire, invented the Internet and sent a man on Moon. We will go on to do amazing things and each of these things will get initiated by us humans. And the ones that were gifted and polished their gifts.

Yeah! I think this is what defines how I look at things. I think the Whiplash guy got it right. Ignore the ego, ignore the rude behaviour and all that. Its people like him, who I think bring the best out of the ones who deserve to be the best. I wish I had someone like that to egg me on. Someone to throw a Cymbal at me!

Phew! Now that I’ve put this out there for whoever to read, I AM lighter. Thank you, Universe. And for all those who need someone to push them, nudge them, polish them, I am on septemberthe22nd AT gmail.com. Lets do this.

P.S.: Do see this. And then, read this.

The Lost Story

Last time I wrote about The Lost Story (book, open letter), I was talking about Suds’ book. In case you haven’t read it, you must! This time, I will talk about myself. In multiple bullet points. And please be warned that’s this is yet another in series of long ranty posts that I’ve been making in recent past where I try to motivate myself. Guess am reading too much Deepak Chopra! 

So, here is a list of things that I think are broken with me (no, not another rant about my career and underachievement but about other more worldly things). As always, in no order.

A. Age
I am growing old. And that means I am not as lithe, as fast moving, as strong as I was. And is evident in the way I work. Most days these days, at around 4, my battery dies. I have to sleep to recharge. No amount of sugar or caffeine or taurine (or whatever they put in RedBull) seems to give me no wings. And since I leave work at 5ish, I sleep in the rickshaws, neck rested on the sidewall and my mouth open, trying to get in some air. (Uber is way too expensive with upfront pricing). I reach home after battling all the traffic and I just crash. I cant control my senses. I have to sleep. And when I do sleep, I snore like a motorcycle. And most days, I just cant get up till the next morning. So, the productivity, which has been low lately, has hit the rockbottom!

B. Snoring brings me to the next thing. The blockage in my nasal cavities do not allow me to breathe at all. That means I am often left gasping for breath. And that’s not cool. I cant talk or eat or just be without making those weird sounds. Like someone is choking me to the death. All the time. 24 x 7. And no, its not funny after a while.

I am ok with all the choking to be honest. But the thing is, I cant sleep properly. And since I anyway sleep very little, I really want my sleep to be peaceful and all that.

Also, since I breathe through my mouth, I am sure I am inadvertently taking in lot of foreign objects in my system that I should not. I have tried all sort of inhalers and ointments and nothing seems to be helping. May be an operation is the only way to go.

Thing is, I like to be active. I love being able to jump and walk and play. Except when its too hot (which is the case 11 months our of 12 in India). The inability to breathe fucks up the ability to do all of that in the one month that I get.

There is so much that this inability to breathe does to me that its the single biggest problem that I have. Apart from general ennui.

C. In the last week, I have lost a pair of sunglasses, 2 pens, 2 mouse devices and I don’t know what else. Knowing how I think about people who are careless, its such a shame and personal defeat that I am losing things like that. I am supposed to be brainy and all that and its not cool that I am careless. Of course there is financial loss. There is also this irritant factor. For everything you lose, you need to put in time and effort to get a replacement. And that, is not cool.

Finally there is this thing where this carelessness becomes a pattern. And then the pattern is often tough to break. And the pattern extends to things that you absolutely can not fuck up. Its like the butterfly effect. Small things give rise to huge issues.

Plus I abhor people who are not careful with things, people who are sloppy, people who lose control. I am no Saint Jean Paul V but I am sure about a few things that I don’t like. And I can NOT become one of those. At all. And thus!

D. Last few days, there isn’t a lot happening on the work front. There is work but there is no action per se. There is no excitement. There is no world changing happening. May be it will happen with time?

But for the time being, work is easy and no I am not liking it. I am used to be being busy all the time. I have so much time on work front that I don’t know what to do with all the time. There are a 100 projects that I can take up but again, I am the kinds that works on triggers and feels. And there ain’t no trigger, no feel, nothing exciting happening!

…

So, now that there are issues, there are two things that I can do from here. I can sit on my ass and whine about it. Or I can take control and take some action. Let me do the later!

What would I do about it?

1. Say no to AC. I know its the baarish season and this is THE best time of the year and when its not raining, it would be humid like a bitch. And I will try and live with it.

2. Start stepping out. I often prefer comfort over activity. Today on, I’d make it reverse. Let me choose action over comfort. That means I will do things that I inherently hate (dressing up, humidity, small talk).

3. Do the daily tiny workouts that make me healthy and better. These include (not limited to) steaming the fuck out of my nose, walking for 45 minutes, meditating etc. I will probably get that Neti pot and flush the muck outta my nose.

A lot to do but I have one life and I am yet to make it big. And I have to do these if I am serious about leaving that damned impact. You know this list? I have to be on it! I

4. Start planning life and day better. I am already super serious about how I spend my time. I need to step up the game and become even more strict. If there is no work, I will not go to office. I will not create work to merely showoff. I will do what makes meaning.

5. Fitness will become number 1 priority. If something comes in the way of fitness, I will abstain from that. If I have to brisk 45 minutes each day, I will do so – irrespective of the looming deadlines that I impose on myself.

That’s about it. Lets see how it goes. I will probably revisit this post in a couple of months and see where I’ve reached!

P.S.: Now I put a reminder on my calendar about these posts. Like I’ve put for this one. The next update on this post shall happen on Aug 25, 2017.