Category: Personal

1000 words a day!

Today, after a lot of days, I was feeling good about being myself. Yes, call me a depressed fucker but thats how things have been in the past few days months.

But then somehow, as I woke up in the morning, I was feeling super good about myself. It felt awesome to be alive. And it sucked to know that I am whiling away my time life like that. While I was on my way to work (paradox?), I made a promise to myself to change things. And change them for good.

To start with, taking inspiration from Chris, I hereby promise myself to write 1000 words each day. Most of it would be noise but then its ok, at least with all the noise that I make, some of it would sound like an intricate symphony to someone. Just like the infinite monkey theorem 🙂 There would be days when the creatives juices would flow freely and there would be times when I would face the writer’s block. I would have time and I would be busy. I would be mind fucked and I would be elated. Whatever it may be, I would ensure that I write a 1000 words everyday. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Project 1000.

This also reflects the larger goal that I want to chase in life. I want to write and talk. Not talk in a vacuum but talk and help people. Inspire them. May be make a difference to other people’s lives. I have been lucky to have the opportunity to speak to a few people and give them some advice (call it gyaan) and it has apparently helped them. I want to grow into someone who helps individuals and businesses with things. And if I want to do that, I need to know how to express myself well. Writing is a very small and yet important part of the same. And with the advantage of time on my side, I need to improve on the art. Project 1000 is one such step in the direction.

So coming back, I would ensure that each day I write something or the other. From critiques to reviews to opinions, reports, fiction, I would write it all. I know I am not intelligent or something and as a result, most days the output would be substandard and I would end up losing all the three readers that read my blog. But then, as they say, you win some, you lose some! The three of you, I know you guys are ardent supporters, you wont go anywhere. And the other one who stumble on here from random places, if you stick, nothing like it, if you dont, I’d try harder.

And oh, by the way, most of the things that I would write, I would post them on the sandbox. At least the ones that make sense.

I hope I can do this. Calls for a lot of discipline and a lot of focus. Two things that I lack. Lemme try and see how things go. Just wish me luck and help me along the way!

Dear Diary,


Last night, I had a dream. In the dream, I was reading van Gogh‘s letters (primarily to his brother and some to other assorted people) and when I woke up, I realized that though a maintain this blog, use notepads to scribble thoughts and keep notes as text files on my computers, I have never had a diary per se. And the thought of keeping a dairy sounded interesting. Like it would be so cool to know what was I thinking on, say, 9th Dec 2007.

It goes without saying that I enjoy writing and I am big fan of recording things, may be I can put the blame on applications like Evernote, but can I (or should I) turn this obsession of writing into maintaining a diary?
Of course the answer is not easy. Here is a list of questions that I need to answer before I decide on the 
diary.
  • Would I actually go back to the diary at a later date and read what was I thinking on a given day in distant past? Do I do that with the blog? After all I have been writing for well over 7 years now!
  • Will the process of writing, give me some clarity about things that are cluttering my head? Both in the long run and the short run? For example, blogging helps me put things in perspective and allows me to meet new and interesting people. Would a secret diary give me some clarity in my head?
  • Would I have time to record my thoughts on a regular basis? Is the investment of time worth the returns that one gets from maintaining a diary? I dont know at this stage. A blog is a no obligation method where I am not reporting into anyone and I have keep motivating myself to write every once in a while. And more so when I dont have any regular readers! With a diary, there is no possibility of a reader ever.
  • And last but not the least, there have been tons of notes that I have saved over the years. I need to figure a way to quickly get them at one place? Preferably on Evernote? How is this important to the 
    diary? They are not but then if I am going to have a diary, I would want all notes, past, present and future, at one place.
And then there are trivial things like the medium, the frequency, privacy etc.
When faced with these sort of decisions, I need to be able to put some filters in place to help me find answers. Right now, I have a very vague idea about those filters.

Anyways, coming back to the diary, I am not sure if I really really want one. The idea is tempting though. Or may be I would try recording some thoughts on some days and see how it goes.

The final answer, as of now, is No. I may reevaluate it at some other day in future but in the meanwhile I would try and get all my scribbles on Evernote. 


Do you guys maintain a daily diary? If you do, what are the best practices (if I may)?

EDIT
I wrote this post as “dairy” and I realized that I have used this word like ten times and each place, it was incorrect! Thanks to N for correcting me!

Anatomy of a productive day at work

Today, unlike all other days, at almost 8 PM, I am slightly content about how this day has gone by. I reached work at 11ish. Did most of the things on my todo list (that I made at around 9 before I left home for work), killed lot of time (on random tweets, reading and writing), listened to my favorite music, ate a good lunch, spoke to Neo and my sis and finished the bplan for WML that I had been meaning to write for three months. Like they say, I was totally in the zone and I was loving it. Of course I got bored of all the work and took long and generous breaks. But I always came back to do more things and get more things done.

Anyways, so what happened today that does not happen on all the other days that I am in office? The answer is surprisingly simple! There was no one in office, on my floor. Not even my bosses. Everyone was travelling and I had the entire 800 sq ft of floor to myself. I had no one to get engaged in gossip with. There were no distractions. I could sing, swear, shout, play music, sit anywhere, put my legs up on the chair, roam around, have my tea and do everything with complete disregard to anyone and anything. And most importantly, I realized, there was no one who I wanted to prove to that I was working and adding value to the company. I was on my own! And this I think, did all the magic. I need to be on my own to be able to do things. Merely putting the headphones and listening to loud music does not help!

Now, as I am having dimsums and Maggi (ya, together), reading Uncrunched and playing Poker, I am content about the way I spent this day. If I could chose, I would want to spend most of my working days like this. Remember Kwan? I just need to create more such opportunities where I am trapped in a secluded corner with no one watching me work. And get things done.

Once I crack the right formula, nothings gonna stop me baby. The work on the magic formula has started. Hopefully before 2012, I would get it out of the way. Talking about 2012, as we enter 2012, its time for all those resolutions that we make and conveniently forget by the 15th of January! I certainly have mine and this time, its not a list, but is a whole damn mindmap. So as we step into 2012, I plan to take a large printout of the mindmap and paste it at a place where I can see it everyday. I am even going to give a copy of the mindmap to VK (my agony aunt, mentor, friend, philosopher, bouncing board etc) and ask her to ensure that I do those things. And then, I would freaking go ahead and do those things. Of course I cant really control the outcomes but I can try and maximize my chances of success. And that is what I am going to do.

Like she says, its a sign, I can see the writing on the wall. Just need to get into the zone more often!

P.S.: I just lost 80% of my stack with pocket Aces! Arrrghh!

RIP 2011

Though I dont really believe in pandits and/or astrological predictions, SS02Sep once told me that some world famous pundit has told her that I’d be filthy rich in 2011. This was sometime during the MDI days. Since then, I continuously cribbed that 2011 was really far and I couldn’t wait for it to begin and all that.

But when 2011 started, I was elated. My life long quest to get rich was coming to an end. I had some plans, a few vague ideas, a lot of hope and large amounts of desperation when I started the year. And I knew that the combination of all these four would ensure that I do well for myself.

And like all other years that have come and gone, 2011 came and its almost over. About 10 days to go. And I am far away from being rich. VERY far. So far that I’d have to postpone it to 2012. So, during the year, I did get a few opportunities and I did spot them. But then just when I thought, that was it, things would drift away from me. Not once, not twice, but thrice! And apart from work, 2011 made a dent in my personal life as well.

No point getting into details here but 2011 sucked. The entire year. Lost more than I achieve to be honest. Both personally and professionally. Am glad that its almost over. This is one of those proverbial bottoms and from here on things can only become better. Hope 2012 is better. It better be.

And to be honest, if it 2012 doesn’t make me, I would have to accept defeat and sink deep in the bowels of regular naukri and thus, mediocrity.

The Houdini Show

Houdini. Image Credits: Wikimedia

I have been unwell for almost a month now. I mean not-on-the-bed-sick for that long but been in and out of bad shape for a while. Its mostly been fever and cold but its starting to bother me now. And so much so that I cant concentrate on things and little thing piss me off easily. Been really irritable for last few days. Still am. Please watch out what you say on those comments.

Last week I was travelling and was in Mumbai, Chennai and Bangalore. And I got so unwell and so sick of things around me, I had to rush back home. I have done my Houdini‘s vanishing act in the past but this time it was in a different league. No one but the travel guy from my office knew where and when would I escape from Chennai. The phone and all the intruding alerts were switched off and clients and their whims could take a hike for all I cared. Thankfully I escaped.

Anyways, few rules for at least next 15 days.

  1. No flights. I can not get up at 3, reach airport at 5, catch a flight at 6 and then do it again. And again. And with work across Delhi, Mumbai and Chennai, I am sure I am flying more often than some pilots. Definitely more often than those Kingfisher pilots!
  2. No over time. Work is so far from home that I end up leaving at early hours to avoid traffic. And meetings require me to be in office till late. This leaves me with very little time for recreation, family, side businesses, writing, health, sleep, reading and million other things that I want need to do in life. Starting this Monday, strictly 9 hours of work. Though my employment contract has no mention of hours but I will assume that these working hour norms must be followed by my employer as well. 
  3. More of what I like and less of what I dont like. P.S. Got this from Sagmeister (you should read his website, which IMHO is super cool). With in my work, there are quite a few things that I love doing. And there are more things that I abhor. Starting December, I shall try reducing focus and time on things that I hate doing. I know it would affect the way I work and my career and all that but then who cares. I still cant plan for the long term and I am happy to stay like that.
  4. Health. I know I have told this myself a zillion times but unless I keep doing it, I will have to keep reminding myself about it. I did start the gym and some cardio but then I had to take a break this month. I know these are mere reasons. Not lame but reasons. I could have taken time out and done small routines, but I did not do!
Thats it for the time being I guess. More soon. 
P.S.: I am typing this on sgAcer. Please excuse typos. 

One in a million!

We are 7 billion strong. And funny bit is that countries from Brazil to Indonesia to Philippines to India are all trying to claim the fame! I mean dude! Are we guys serious? Are we proud that we are 7 billion?

And I heard on the radio that apparently doctors in India were told to hold births (or may be merely birth registrations) to ensure that the 7 billionth child is a woman. How stupid can we get?

This reminds me of the times when I was a kid. When I was growing up, my mom showered blessings on me and told me that I was one in millions. That time I just gushed at it and was embarrassed. I could not appreciate the true meaning behind her comments. Now when I travel in the Delhi metro (or Mumbai locals), get stuck in endless traffic jams, stand in long queues to even pee, I realize what she really meant. I am indeed one in millions. Wait. One in Seven Billion!

Pursuit of Fitness

So, as part of a bet, I need to lose 7 inches by first week of December. And for that I joined a gym. For the first time in my life, ladies and gentlemen, I stepped inside a gym. The scene inside made me sick the moment I got in. Men, women and others of all shapes, sizes, ages, odors, colors were at work. More than work they were staring at themselves in the huge mirrors that lined up the walls of the gym. After every nano second of workout, they would find the nearest mirror, twitch their muscle, smile at themselves and then look around, just in case that cute member from the opposite sex was appreciating the apparent display of hormones.I mean I have met tons of self-obsessed people but this was beyond me. This was self-obsession 2.0 and not one, not two but the entire human race in that small area was engaged in it.

Anyways a man’s gotta go what a man’s gotta do. So despite alle the testosterone around me, I tied up a handkerchief around my nose, tied my shoe laces, bought a fancy blue gym short and, as they say, hit the gym. The first few days were pain. And disgrace. I could barely jog. Now if you dont know me, you may want to visualize a sack of potatoes. If not that, than a walrus. If not even that, I think you need to move on to some other link. So I am as large and lazy as these two and its an effort to move an inch. Here I was expected to run for miles and miles if I had any hopes of losing flab around my waist.

I have been at it for about two weeks now. Of course the results havent started showing. I compensate for all the ahrd work but religiously eating daal makhani and butter naans for dinner. Though I am still off coke. Been more than three months. Who would have believed! Anyways so its been two weeks now and today for the first time ever, I managed to job for 2 KMs at a speed for 8 kmph. That means I was faster than what an average human being walks at and I covered more distance in one shot than I have ever covered. For me, this is nothing short of winning an Olympic medal, in bob-sledging . I was very very happy. I clapped for myself. Adn thankfully for a minute all the appreciating-thyself stopped for a minute and it was converted into is-this-bald-guy mad look. And then as if I had never clapped, people were back to their mirrors and mutual admiration societies. I loved myself at that instant for being able to pull off the the task. Reminded me of Pursuit of Happyness. And the scene where Chris (Will Smith) claps for himself.

And just in case you havent seen this movie, you need to see it for sure. The guy in the scene is offered a job and he needs it more than anyone else in the world and it has come to him after a very long wait and a lot of toil. This is how he chooses to celebrate the moment. Watch from 1:43 if you are short of time!

And in the end, if not anything, please do pray that I win the bet. On stake is something that can potentially change my life!

The Birthday Blues

If you havent guessed already, my birthday is was on Septemberthe22nd. I am not really a big fan of birthdays and I dont really celebrate it. I know this sounds stupid considering that my blog and my primary email addresses are titled septemberthe22nd. May be when I created these about 10 years ago, it must have been important to me. But not anymore. Times change. People change. Thoughts change. Changes change. I changed!

Anyways, so having said that birthdays are not important, here are few obsevations. In no particular order.

  • I have no clue how to handle birthday wishes. Ideally a simple thank you should suffice in most cases but I honestly get embarrassed when people shower extra attention towards me for no apparent reason. If I do something awesome at work and I am praised for that, I totally enjoy it and bask in its glory for days, if not weeks. But birthdays? I am sorry. I dont enjoy all the extra niceness.
  • Last two years, I was away on my birthdays. 2009, I went for Vipassana and 2010, I was traveling. And both years, no one bugged me with inane wishes and I was happy. I had thought that I would make it an annual affair. Travel to an interesting place without any communication device. This year, because of some work stuff, I could not. May be next year. But would make it a recurring theme.
  • Been thinking of a lot of things lately. And on a lot of different things. Most of these are reoccurring questions that I havent been able to find answers to. Like, why do I blog? I tend to follow the golden adage that says that if you arent adding any value, you should shut up. The blog is not meant to add value to anyone’s life but mine. And to add value to my life, why do I have to make my thoughts public? I dont know. It just sounds like the thing to do! Would someone even read it? I dont know. I ought to know!
  • Coming to the value, yes, there are things that I know I know better than an average Joe. And I know I can add value. Just like the New New Thing, Sandbox is meant to do just that. I havent started working on it as yet. But someday in near future, before end of October, I shall do it. 
  • I was reading my last post on New New Thing and I said I would become a doer. The post was in Feb 2009. Its been almost two and a half years. Two and a fucking half years. And I am still a lazy ass. Wow I should be ashamed of myself. I can talk of things. I left my job of that time. I started something and failed at it. I joined a different job after that. And yet, I havent been able to become a doer. Can I change that in next few months? Before we enter 2012? I promise to myself that I would. And yes, this is a yet another promise
And in the end, if you think you forgotten my birthday yet again and you want to send me gifts, lemme know. I shall send you the postal address. And I just accept cash. No gift coupons please. 

RIP Steve Jobs

I woke to the news about Steve Jobs. My sis had left a message on my phone. With blurry eyes and hazy head, that only sleeplessness could do to you, I checked my iPad for news about Steve Jobs. Before anything else I wanted to verify and somewhere deep down I wanted to dismiss this as yet another hoax. And the first report that caught my eye was Bill Gates’ note about Steve. And this is when I realized that hes actually no more. Then I read more eulogies by Zukerberg, Obama, Larry, Sergey and everyone else.

Initially, my brain processed this as yet another news article. In my mind I automatically thought of all the things, both good and bad, that would be triggered by his death. And then all of a sudden, it struck like a bolt of lightening. Steve Jobs, the nearest thing to God, has died. With him died an extraordinary brain, probably one of its kind. With him died a visionary who could predict see the future and make it happen. With him died a willpower that could move the mountains. With him, died my hero.

No other man, single handedly, has inspired me as much as Steve Jobs has. I have enjoyed watching him present perform on the stage, have been inspired by lore about him, awed by his fervent attention to detail, humored by his candor in his interviews and speeches and most of all, inspired by his thoughts and opinion about computers, technology and impact these things could have on humankind.

I would sincerely miss him. I wish the company he created keeps his legacy alive and stays at the forefront of technology and continues impact lives of millions. I really really wanted him to live. Not just for me, but for all the other hopeless souls who found comfort in his mere existence.

For me, he epitomizes greatness and there is no one else that I want to be. I dont want to be the greatest, the richest, the best, the happiest or anything else-ist. I dont even want to be Saurabh Garg. I just want to be Steve Jobs.

But then, as he said in an address at Stanford, the new must replace the old, now that Steve has passed on the baton to us, we need to do things that would make him proud and smile on us from heavens above.

And in the end, thank you Steve. Thanks a lot for everything that you gave/taught the world.

Dear Myself!

Credits: Hugh

Dear Myself,

Hope you are having a good day.

Normally I don’t write into you. More often than not, a polite conversation with you helps and we sort our disagreements. In extreme cases, I take you out for a drive or an icecream and we are cool after that. But this time, unlike all the other times, things have gone to such an extent that I don’t think a mere conversation would help. I think I need to put on record my opinion. At least it will help me put everything in one place.

I am writing to you, to officially (no I am serious) point out that I absolutely hate the fact that you make me drive all the way to Gurgaon every day. Agreed that Gurgaon is the millennium city and the land of opportunities etc but are you sure you want me to go through this grind day after day?

If there were just one or two bad things, I would have relented and not felt so fucked. I tried making a small list. Here are the findings. The traffic is bad. Traffic management is worse. Roads are probably the worst. Rampant urbanization and unplanned growth have created such a mess that I don’t think we’d be able to fix it ever. Public transport is non-existent. And whatever alternatives we have, the hand rickshaws and auto-rickshaws, they fleece as if we live in the banana republic. People, both on and off the road are rude and believe in public display of useless aggression and fake power. Electricity is a problem. Things are expensive. No one feels safe anywhere post the sunset. There is not a place where you can feel at peace. And many more. Why would then you goto a place like that everyday?

If you were doing some brilliant work, I may have let you go there everyday. But what you do, are you sure that’s the best utilization of your time and effort. I mean I understand that you are not the most brilliant sample of the homosapien spieces. I also understand that you are mediocre at best. I know that you want to defy authority for some stupid reason that only you can comprehend. I am ok with it. You know that I would support you through thick and thin and despite you have your quirks and whims, I have always been on your side. But this is something I fail to understand. Why would you even bother with all the hassle of the drive till Gurgaon everyday? Why do you put yourself and me through the torture everyday? How does your conscious allow you to kill yourself every day? And you have been doing it for almost two years now! Havent you?

Please know that I am not asking you to quit. Not for a single instant. I hate quitters. I really do. All I am asking for is an alternative. Or may be an option. Or something that allows you to stay sane! Like Hugh says, Life is short. Make it amazing!

You know, its your life. And mine as well. If not for me, please take time and think about things for yourself. You are a bloody gift to this world and it sucks to see you getting wasted like this. I think after 29 years of coexistence, my comments merit atleast one thought (if not a detailed inquiry into reasons)! Please do it. And if there is anything I can do to help you get out of the mess, I am just a nudge away. Actually closer!

Love you.
Your’s Yourself.

Pursuit of Simple Pleasures

Last few weeks have really been maddening. So much so that I haven’t had time to even get a haircut, clip my nails, read things that I like reading and enjoy all those small things that make life, worth living. I am a romantic at heart. No, not your famous romantic, but this one. And as a result, I like doing different things and taking time off from regular humdrum of life.

I like sitting at coffee shops, staring at space, skimming through books, writing occasional blog posts, thinking about things that I ought to be doing but never end up doing, competing with brain, and doing nothing at all.

All these sound really stupid when you look them through the lens of a 30 year old, especially when that 30 year old is still to figure out what he wants from life and is supposed to support his family. Its sad that world does not allow for such foolhardiness.One of those things that I want to ponder on!


P.S.: Just finished writing this piece of post and when I am reviewing it, I think its an utter waste of time! But then, what else would I be doing with all the free time that I try and steal from life?