Category: SideNotes

The Daily Grind – 2715 – 250718

So here’s the post for the day. I am ODing on coffee and hope.

Coffee.
Since I am no longer on Keto, I am eating, drinking and binging on everything that comes my way. Oh and while I am it, I had some variant of chicken the other day. Thanks to AR. And surprisingly I was ok with it. I need to ramp this up.

Hope.
I was in Delhi and I was here to pitch to a prospective client and kick off things for the next phase of C4E. And what is that next phase? A phase where I go really fast for the next 9 months and try to make it into a fine events agency.

Anyhow. The post for the day. Since I have a million things clouding my head (as I edited this, I realised that all things are related), I will use a slightly different format to talk about things.

Unlike other times, here is a list of things that I will talk about. A table of contents if you will.

  • A. The day. 
  • B. The fear of flying.
  • C. The Promise to Sleep well. 
  • D. The lure of a good life. 
  • E.  Health.

A. The Day. 
It was a weird day.
In a lot of ways.

First, I missed the flight I was supposed to goto Delhi on. And no, I dont do this often. This is the second time in my life that I have missed a flight. And no, unlike people that get worked up about missing flights, for some reason I was calm. Good job, Mr. Garg. I can attribute this to a lot of things – I dont care much about money; I am not serious about the flight and all that; I have attained nirvana!

Then, I booked myself on the next available flight (which was of course expensive). And again, I dint have an iota of remorse. Am I becoming truly invulnerable? Bulletproof? Lol! Read yesterday’s post, Mr. Garg! 

B. The fear of flying.
I never thought I’ll say this but I am.

Lemme give context. Since I took my first flight, I’ve been fascinated with the idea of flying. In fact airports are among my favorite places (no, not all transit places are favorite. Airports are). As I write this, I am at an airport. In fact some of the best ideas come to me when I am at the airports. Or in the planes. Or on the pot.

So, I obviously love the idea of flying.

Also, to the middle-class Indian like me, flying is a symbol of achievement (other symbols are cars, houses, phones etc). And since I am a little underachiever, to me, these things that validate my status are important. To the extent that I keep a count of all flights I take. For example, this flight that I am going to get on in a couple of hours is the 33rd flight of year. Last year I took 53. So on and so forth.

And while I have been on these flights, I have seen all sorts of things – turbulence, calmness, air pockets, babies screaming in my ears, couples making out, comp upgrades, people using air sickness bags, false landing, air traffic congestion, excess baggage issues, lost baggage and dont know what all.

What I havent seen? The oxygen masks falling from the top (from a couple of friends who’ve experienced it tell me of horror stories of the time when that happens). And of course a life-threatening experience.

Of the times when I have been in flights with serious turbulence, I have remained calm. As calm as I was in the morning when I missed the flight and paid a fortune to book the next flight.

But… there’s always a but… for a change, in the morning today, I was scared. At the slightest turbulence that the otherwise comfortable flight had to go through. And this is the first time I recognised the emotion of fear while in a plane. And I dont know why am I scared. I know that flying commercial is statistically amongst the safest ways to travel. I also “know” that it cant happen to me – you know what I am saying?

So, why am I scared? Am I afraid to die?
Probably yes.
Probably no.

But I know that there is way too much happening in my life to just die like that. You know what I am saying? I have to make a dent in the universe and it cant be that unfair (to me) that I die in a plane crash! There are plans and ideas that need implementing. There are people dependent on me. There are a handful that love me. And most importantly, there are people that I want to help.

What if I am in an “incident”? What happens to all those people and ideas and things?

Ok, cant be thinking of these things before I take a flight. The point is, I get scared when I am in the planes. Need to think more on this on the other side. No. Not the 7th heaven side. But the other side once I have landed and safely tucked in the bed in a cold dark room.

C. Sleep
That brings me to the next thing that I want to talk about. Sleep.

I missed the flight because I could not wake up on time despite putting three alarms. And I could not wake up despite the alarms because I am tired. In my body, head, soul and everywhere. And I am exhausted because I have been working REALLY hard last 2-3 weeks. And I hardly get time to sleep.

Things are taxing (and I know that none of the things I am working on will pan out to give me either the money or the reputation or the future – these things are paying me just about enough to pay my bills. Yes I am struggling). And there is a lot of incompetency around me and thus I am jacked even more.

Ok enough of rant.

Point is that I am not getting enough sleep. And that means I am killing myself fast. And if I need to make a dent, I need to live long. Till at least 120. Side note. As I grow older, I am more aware of my mortality and the fact that life is so useless and meaningless. Dont know what prompted who to create this thing called life. Makes me sick as I think about it.

Ok enough of rant.

So while life is meaningless and all that, while you are here, you ought to do whatever it takes to make sure that you enable others and spread happiness. I dont know what else is the purpose of life. Agreed that I want to make money and all that but I want to make money and all that to be able to inspire and enable others. If I can, anyone can. That. If I can climb the Mt. Everest, any one can. If I can make a billion dollars, anyone can. That.

And to be able to do all this, I need to be effective. And to be effective, I need to be “fresh” and rested and calm and in peak state. There are two ways to do it. Take performance enhancing substances. Or you take enough rest. You sleep well. In fact DS told me today that he wants me to sleep well before I attend a meeting with him. That’s a sign enough.

So, I hereby promise that I will NOT compromise on my sleep.
I will sleep for 6 hours (not 8 – I am ok with 6).
And post that I will assume that my day has just 18 hours.
And I will wake up at 430.
Even if I have to sleep at 10 PM.
No more late night calls, dinners etc.
No more coffee (except when I am on Keto and that too limited to one or two).
No more things that interrupt my sleep.
Here’s a joke… if Akshay Kumar can, I can ;P

Of course there will be exceptions – when I am travelling, when I am on a break (#sidenote: must write about breaks – how I [plan to] take one weekend off every month, one week every quarter and 3 weeks every 6 months) etc.

But I will NOT compromise on my sleep.

Oh, if you know me, you would know that I encourage that 24×7 on-the-job, work, hustle-hard, chase-purpose, push-yourself lifestyle. I just want to put on record that I do NOT encourage not sleeping. All I mean is that all the frivolous things we do – partying, gossip, killing time on SM – those things have to stop!

D. The good life. 
Today, I realised yet again that I love a good life more than anything else. I define a good life as

  • a life of abundance where you have enough to feed you and your loved ones. AND have enough to live in comfort and not worry about material things. You know, Maslow? 
  • a life where you are making impact in the community that you live in. Where you inspire others. Enable others. Give them a shoulder.
  • a life where you affect change (rather than a mere victim of things controlled by others).
  • a life where where n the sense that when I have the money and I can afford things without worrying about it, life looks great. 
  • and much more. 
Side note. Must write about what a good life is. And then write a note to self about reaching there. And get all my people to write about a life that they ought to live. And more. 

Am I there today? No.
Do I want to be there? Hell yeah!
How do I plan to do it? I have no clue!
What happens now? If you are reading this, HELP me!

E. Health.
I wanted to write about health as well. But I am not sure if I have the time (or the inclination) to do so. This post must be a 1500 words if not more. I know words flow when I rant on the blog, but I too have a limit! I will thus park health for some other day.

Just one note. I bought a pair of shorts today. 34″. And the pair is loose. I am legit 32″ now. Next goal? 30. Will talk about how I do this in the next post.

Till then, over and out.

PS: I will send this post to people I want to help me succeed in life. If you get this and do read this, please support me. And not diss me or troll me. And in case I dont send this, it doesnt mean that I dont care for you. It merely means that you are already by my side 🙂 


Thanks! 

The Daily Grind – 2732 – 100718

So, I am going to do that thing again (at least try to). Thing where I write everyday. Even if I dont have anything interesting or special to say, I will publish. I. WILL. PUBLISH. The aim is to do a 1000 words each day. On an average. Today. And for the next 2732 days.

Why 2732 days? Because of this.

And not just 2732 but for the rest of my life.

And no. This is not the first time I am trying to do this. I have made multiple attempts in past. And I have failed at all of them. And if this time I am to succeed, I will have to make a superhuman effort to ensure that I dont drop out. I mean last time I took this challenge, you know how many days I lasted?

Wait!

I dont remember myself how many days I lasted. 🙁


#note2self, #sideNote
Talk about memory and the point of this blog if I cant remember what I wrote about! 
Also talk about how self-loathing is the worst thing you can ever do to yourself. 

Whatever.

Thing is, this time, I am committed to make this one the longest.

How long?
Well, as long as I live.
And if I get to time and location independence with money and all, probably will write more shit for people to see and read after I am gone. But then, once you are dead, would it matter? Not to me. But to others, it may. If I can change a few lives while I am around (and even when am gone), I would have lived well. Chalo, not am rambling. Time to get on with it.

So, after this mile long pretext, here is the post for the day. And no, I dont have anything special to talk about. I will just dump the shit that’s crowding my head. And that’s where my happiness is!

Lemme divide things to talk about into “themes”

Health
I restarted Keto yesterday. This is the third or the fourth time I am attempting Keto. Apart from the first time (which was about 4 months ago), I havent been able to sustain for more than 3 weeks.

PS: When I did it the first time around, the results were fascinating and thus I am encouraged to go back. Thing is, I dropped a couple of inches if not more. And while I suspect that was because of the calorie deficit, I am sure Keto did play a part.

This time around, I hope to “mix” Keto with some moderate exercise. Lets see where it takes me. Today is day 2 and I know there is Keto Flu around the corner.

Plus I have been reading about no (or low) carb diet and the list of advantages runs into miles! So, I am ok to make the lifestyle change and move from a diet that traditionally has been full of carbs (potatoes, sugar and more) and fat (ghee and oil). To proteins. And better fat (ghee, butter not oil). No I am not the specifics guy (I do have an eye for detail but I dont get into specifics – there’s a subtle difference between the two. Maybe I will write a blogpost on this. #note2self).

Apart from this, I need to start taking those supplements. This again is a HUGE change from the stance that I have held all my life. I have hated the concept of nutritional supplements and now I am ok to experiment. Guess this is what mid-life crisis makes you do?

Oh, the next change? Start eating non-vegetarian. Lets see if I can do this. Like they say, change is good!

I also need to start the running regimen. I have to do that sub-4 Marathon and the Everest. I guess once I lose some fat, I can get to this?

Actually, come to think of it, this is probably the best time to start running? Weather is good and body will cool down faster. Ok, I will give it a shot today. TODAY being the keyword here. Come rain, hail or whatever!

Wealth
What I do at C4E is interesting and gives me a some freedom to play around and create projects, I am hard at work to identify an alternate source of income. The kinds Rich Dad Poor Dad talks about. Passive. That works for me, rather than me working for it.

To be honest, I shouldve done this about 10 years ago. But as they say, better late than never. The idea is to get to a point where I no longer have to trade my time for the money I need to live.

Live. Not survive.

#sideNote. While writing, I realised that this blogpost is my trying to reaffirm my views to myself. The blog is like a conversation that I am having with self. Which is not a bad thing to be honest!

Coming back. So I want to make enough from a passive source that I dont have to depend on a fixed pattern of life (wake up, goto office, come back home, watch a sitcom, sleep and repeat).

And the time and day and age that we live in, it allows me to do that. I just need to get it done.

Digression. 
I could talk about people that dint really need a passive income source – they got so good with their primary source of income that they made the money, made the impact, changed the world, made time for themselves and did not have to worry about compromising on their lifestyle. But then, I am definitely not that and I need to think of things that work for me. 

Writing 
When I started the year, one of the yearly goals was to write 202 posts. As of today, I am at 39 posts. That means I have 160 odd to go. And thats almost same as the number of days that are remaining in this year. So, a post a day should see me through. Hmmm.

#sideNote. More than half of the year is over. Must do an assessment. 

The other writing goal is to get the second book out. Started working with a friend but we lost track along the way. Need to action that in the next few days.

Wait. What about staying on focus on making the money? And all these things could remain at the backend! Nah. 

Misc updates
I restarted playing Poker. No I dont have the time but I want to give it a few hours each day. I love the game. And I really want to get good to it. If I were to draw a list of things that I want to do in life, Poker would be up there. I am ok to let go of guitar and pool and other things. But not poker.

Poker gives me an outside shot at creating a life that makes me travel the world and earn enough to live well. No, this is NOT plan A. This is a good backup plan for life.

note2self: Is this your new distraction? Think! 

Existential Questions
Lately I have been thinking hard on what I want to be doing. What do I mean lately? I have been in the thinking mode for well over a decade now (if not longer).

Other things that I am struggling to find answers to (if you are reading and wish to help, please do give me inputs):
A. Business. What I do at C4E is good and interesting but its a BIIIIIG pain in the ass to get new business. What do I do to get new business? Making phone calls? Sending emails? Creating content? If not for the patronage and largesse of a couple of giants, I would probably be back in Delhi, living with my parents. Or I would’ve found a full-time job (which would be the saddest thing ever). 
note2self: Mr. G, you can NOT get back to a full-time job ever. Unless its life and death situation. 
So, the question is, how do I find people to trust their brands with me? With C4E and with AWSL. 
B. Reputation. Thing is, wherever you go, your reputation precedes you. And I for reason haven’t been able to create a reputation AT ALL. I mean my best friends have a tough time connecting with me. One option is that I cut off my friends. May be I will. But I will probably remain alone (if I do that). The other is to work on it. Question is, how! Any clues? Oh, by the way, I wrote this long post on reputation (and other things). I seem to know the academic answer. How do I translate it in action? 
One easy answer is that I need to conduct myself better. I need to have gravitas when I speak. Vanita has been asking me to work on this. And while I think I have worked on this, I am not sure if I am reaching anywhere with this. Help me if you can. Please!

C. Recreation. A couple of weeks back I went to Goa with a friend. And unlike other trips, this time I did not touch my laptop. And by the end of the 3-day trip, I was sick of NOT working.

Now, for someone who enjoys taking a break, this is a great thing to do. But to me, I am not sure if I want to do this. Why? Because what point is a life that is spend chasing frivolities and not challenging self?

Wait. In the large scheme of things anything and everything do is meaningless (afterall, we are on this large rock that is moving at some super high speed around the Sun and at some point in time it will probably collapse into the damn Sun once it becomes a blackhole!). So why do I even work, create things, inspire others and all that?

And then I ask, why not? If I live my life chasing frivolities, I would have a simple, easy, comfortable life. I would have seen the world, enjoyed all the great things that the world has to offer. And end of things.

If I work hard, inspire others and all that, I would probably live a tad less happier but I would have made lives of others tad better. May be I inspire them to get new jobs, discover new joys that they never knew, live happier, live healthier and so on and so forth. In the large scheme of things I probably wouldnt make any dent but to those few people that I impact the lives of, I would’ve probably made a world of difference.

Any why do I want to do this? Have I been told? Am I responsible? Why do I bother? Is this my problem?

Well, I dont have an answer. I met this gentleman a few days ago and he postulated that I want to do these things because I probably want to play God! Interesting hypothesis. May be I do. But guess we’d never know!

Or maybe, I’d try and find out. Over the next few days!

Till then, over and out. This is about it for today. I dont know if this is 1000 words but I have nothing else to say. Writing after a month or so and thus, a tad rusty! 

Jan 2016 – Recap

Today’s 3rd Feb. I should’ve written this 4 days ago. But better late than never. 

So the first month of what will be the most amazing year of my life is already over. And it went by so fast, so fast that I have no clue where it went. Yes, I did some work and I traveled to a few places for work, meetings (Sidenote: Must write about the kind of travel I do – for work – which may not be too instagram friendly) and other such trivial pursuits in the larger scheme of things.

Over the last one month, I’ve had some hits and some loses. Let me list those.

Hits

  • I have finally come to accept that I can live survive in Bandra. Though I spend very less time there, I am ok with it. Its a mistake that I dont want to repeat once the lease comes up for renewal, in September. Also, next time I will be wiser with my house hunt. 
  • I wrote 14 posts in January. Which is amazing. Because each post took time to think, write, edit and publish. If not more than 14 hours atleast. I am back to serious writing and its now a matter of time when #book2 happens. I am so late on it that its not funny. 
  • I am now clear that in this year I will focus on three things – events business, brand / digital strategy business and startups. Well, ‘focus” on “three things” sounds stupid but if you know me, you will know that I’ve cut the list from 30000 things to 3. Which is an achievement. 

Loses

  • Did not make 10 lakhs in the month. Adds to the pressure of making 1 cr in 2016. But I did add a new client that hopefully will give me additional 20% income for at least the next 6 months. At this rate, need to add 20 more clients to be able to reach 10 lakhs a mo figure. And that wont happen without a team! So, I will probably try and get one.
  • Tried getting over sgMS but could not. This is probably the longest running struggle of my life, apart from trying to lose weight. I have tried multiple times but I cant seem to find a solution. The only two things left to try are, a, substance abuse and b, going far far away from here. The physical proximity (she’s in Mumbai and her place is like less than 10 KMs away) keeps the hope afloat I guess. 
  • Met Prof Dhruv Nath yesterday and he reinforced what Raj and others have been telling me – that I am a great employee but I will suck as an employer / founder. Funny thing is that apart from me, everyone can see it. And I can either try to ignore what the world is saying. Or leverage on things. I will think more on this.

Thats it. I cant think of anything else. Come to think of it, life is so insignificant. Oh, I have been wondering of that as well over the last few days. I have sort of deep-dived into the life of Elon Musk (this article is a great place to start) and he’s making me think on things like life, time, intelligent life, “forever” and so on and so forth. I dont know where I stand on Fermi Paradox or I dont know what impact I am going to have on the world but my belief is now reinforced that our time is limited and we often spend that stupid time on chasing frivolous things that may not really matter. Of course nothing really matters in the long run and everyone, everything has an expiry date. You may even ask what is the damn purpose of living if things dont matter. May be you live for people around you? May be you live for yourself? May be you dont know why you want to live. May be you want to help others. There are just too many may bes. But I do know that some things keep me going – this blog and the thoughts of #sgMS. And the pursuit of enough money that allows me to not be at the mercy of work that I may not want to do.

Also, I realised that I use “that’s it” and “so” a lot while writing. May be need to eliminate it?

Also, someone told me that I write as if I am thinking while typing. I dont go back and edit. I concur. I love to see my words spewed on

Going forward, I am planning to take 7-10 days off in February and not do anything and think and sleep and all that. If all goes well, I will be gone from 15th to the 28th (when I goto Goa to play a poker tournament). While I am there, I want to create a model to evaluate if I am doing any better. Some questions that I could ask are…

  • So what has changed over the last time I “evaluated” myself?
  • What has helped me? 
  • Where do I want to be at the end of the year? 
  • How am I doing compared to same time last year?

That’s it. Hope I write these every month.

Like always, if you read this and you have something to add, please do share!