Untitled – May 14, 2016

Yet another in string of long-time-no-post zones (last post was 20+ days back). Need to write more and do more. More on the more bit in a bit. Wah wordplay ;P

So there are quite a few things I want to talk about in this post – after all been sometime since I posted. And beware, this will be a longish one. In case you want to read. Get a coffee maybe?

P.S.: If you do read these posts, please please do tell me. I need to know if you do. I am actually thinking of writing a monthly newsletter to people who care (and to people who I want to care for me). Let’s see what I do about it. But do let me know if you want to receive it. Here is a form that you may use.

Without further ado, rants for the day…

A. Work
So work is going ok. In 3 short months since I started (and 15 long months since I quit my last full-time job), I’ve seen ups and downs already. I have won clients, lost clients, clients have disappeared, someone has taken money and not delivered and everything in between has happened. I’ve been lucky and I’ve been unlucky and nowhere else has “this too shall pass” been so accurate!

I am actually making decent money (though I need to make a lot more and I define decent as being able to pay for expenses at home and yet having something in the bank) and doing some ok work. Need to upgrade what I do and make more more than decent. Of course its tough.

Decent is happening because am juggling two things and it’s not easy. No, I am not saying this because I want this to be glamourous about what I do. But because I love both things. I can’t choose one over another. Call it lack of focus but I can’t. One is live experiences (events, travel, adrenaline rush) and Two is communication (brands, behavioural science, communities, platforms, social, networks, people and such). I wish there was a way to marry the two.

To do more than decent, I will have to put more than decent effort.

Anyhow. The point is not work. The point is that I am now seeing my limitations as an individual and as a professional. I’ve always taken pride in being the supercool and super-great guy who can do everything but now I am realising that I am not as cool as I think I am. Lemme give an example.

I have realised that I am super good (may be even great) with getting things done. I am a great manager and I can deliver. But I suck at ideas. And I suck so bad that I can’t crack new clients if I dont take external help. Funny because I believe that no one wants brilliance with ideas – they rather want predictability in delivery. But then to be able to get the client on your side, you need to show your prowess with ideas. And I suck at it. It’s almost like a vicious circle. Almost. But it is.

I spoke of this problem to friends and mentors. I was told to hire talent. But who would want to work for a nameless, directionless dude like me? I haven’t won any awards, I have no portfolio to show (which clients are also surprised about – after all I’ve been a pony all my life and haven’t done any award winning work), I have no contacts in the industry, I dont inspire people. I can’t mentor. I can’t teach. I dont offer any reason to anyone to work with me. Unless they are desperate. Or delusional. And no, I cant pay. No I am not whining – just putting facts on paper.

So what is the way out? I dont know! Do you? Help me!

The other example of my limitation is the constant struggle to grow. Thing is, all my life, I’ve worked with agencies with deep pockets (CLA had a rich client when they started, Gravity had years of experience and SWL was profit making). I’ve always had a structure to support me. I was not responsible for paying salaries. This time, there is nothing except the thin air beneath my feet. So that sucks.

There are more things I can talk about that talk about my limitations but guess you get the point. I am not as cool as I think I am. And I need to accept it.

I shall at some point write a longer post about about and my operational issues (BD, Hiring, Delivery etc) and strategic issues (Why am I doing this? What is my objective? What is the big picture? The purpose etc). Some day!

B. Yoga
I restarted Yoga with Shameem. And like last time, shes ensuring that I dont aggravate my hernia. It’s been 5 classes and I know that my body has deteriorated so much in the last year. And more importantly, just like work, Yoga is making me aware of my limitations (the physical / mental / emotional ones).

And it’s humbling to see an old man do asanas with ease and grace while you struggle to even get into the formation. Simple thing like touching the toes without bending the knees seems like a task (and there was a time when I could do it as if I did not have a spine). But I shall get back to shape. I like being active and I need to get back.

So I hope I continue going to her. I know that these are tiny steps towards reaching my #lifeGoals of running a marathon and climbing the Everest. And may be other goals as well!

C. Kindness of strangers
The most recent fan mail for #tnks came from a 70-year old man, a retired banker, from Telangana. He used the kindest words ever and I was so touched, so thrilled that I wanted to get the second book out that day itself. Of course the book is long way from completion but I do aim for a end-year release. Thank you Sir for writing in. Hope I dont disappoint you with Book2.

Then, Rana Sir gave me another advance yesterday. I will use his advance to work on the next book and get the Hindi edition of #tnks out.

Then, last week two people (unrelated to each other) sent me two separate “feelers” about trying to put some sense into me.

First, this lady read the blog and without knowing me personally took pains to write to me to tell me about specific things that she has inferred from the blog. She thinks I whine a lot and I am concerned about my fitness. She may be right about fitness but I sincerely think that I dont whine as much. I could be wrong – lets see. What do you think?

And if I do come across as a cry baby, I need to send out better vibes. I can’t change my situations but I can change the way I look at them (glass half-full). So, thank you N. Hope you see a measurable change in how I write and the vibes I send out. Hope you continue to read. And I will summit the Everest.

The other person sent a longish whatsapp message. Again telling me of things that I need to improve on. I am on it. Thank you A.

D. Travel Book
A new project. I have decided that I will start work on the travel book. With Vivek. He is my travel partner (apart from R & gang and sgMS) and in one of the random WhatsApp conversations it popped up that we ought to do a travel blog together. And here I am. I’ve added it to the list of things to be done in this year. Lets see when we get around to doing it. I suck at travel writing and I know I need to improve on it. It can only happen with practise. I did write one (on Udvada) and I will write more as I start going out to travel. If… if only he finds time to meet me.

So that’s all I have for the day. But before I disappear again, here is a pic that I took at a Starbucks. *drops hint at Vivek*

Over n out!

P.S.: I will try to make the next post soon! Do fill in the form at the top of this page.

Lean Mean Fighting Machine

27 May 2014

When I am old and I look back on 2014, I want to see two things. And two things only.

A. The Nidhi Kapoor Story (website, 200+ likes on fb)
B. 30″

That’s all. Nothing else is important. I dont want anything else from 2014.

Money, fame, love, #sgMS, cars, travel, comfort, chase of the new new thing, plans to take over the world, bucket list, ride to Leh, long-distance cross-country rides, serial murders, financial wizardry, Priyanka Chopra, awards, conversations, coffee with Karan, 100 likes on a FB post, 10,000 twitter followers, houses, writing for magazines etc could wait. The two things, A and B, cant.

So, A, the book, is done. The goal was to get a book published this year. And I think I am comfortable on that front right now. Its now on a publisher’s desk. The ball is not in my court. I am waiting for the publisher to look at it and tell me if its good enough to be out in the market. Lets see how that goes. There’s this calm on that front. There’s nothing that I can do about it. I mean I can send it to more publishers but someone has shown faith in me and I need to stick with them. Its all about faith and its about people. Right?

On the other, B, 30″, I am actually worse off than I was when I started. The goal for the year was to reduce my girth to 30″ (from the current 36″). I even waged an iPhone with a friend. So thanks to this bet, I did make a good start. I joined yoga classes and actually enjoyed the time I spent there. I was even regular with it. As side-effect, I started to notice what I ate and I lost more inches. I walked 10 000 steps most days and it showed. I almost became a lean mean fighting machine. No no, kidding. Not the machine but I did lose weight and I did enjoy while it lasted.

But in last month or so, I have lost all the progress I made over the last few months. I am as fat as I was at the end of the last year. I am as lethargic. I am as lazy. I am unhealthy and I know it. And worse, I dont know how to fix it. I mean I can. All it needs is 10 000 steps everyday. No? I plan to start all of it again soon. May be once I get a naukri. Wait a minute. What soon? Why not today? And now?

So right after I hit the publish button, I’d go for my 10 000 steps. And once I am back, I will update this post with the screenshot of my 10 000 steps for the day. And I’d do it tomorrow. And day after. And the day after that. Till I am back to being the lean mean fighting machine!

P.S.: I just hope that the battery in the phone lasts that long!

Update. I did about 4.5K steps. I just couldnt go any more. A start none the less.

Yoga. As a challenge.

Before I get into the rant for the day, here are a couple of things that you ought to know.

A. I have been going to a yoga instructor for almost two months. I have signed up for a 1 to 1 session and that typically means there are no other practitioners when I am there. If there are others, they are like me, injured, damaged, nursing injuries and are in the class not to lose weight or to sound fancy but to heal themselves with yoga.

B. I was probably sleeping when God was distributing that knack of being social. On top of it, He made me an introvert. You remember that kid in your class that you can’t remember at all? That. No wonder! So, as a result I have been awkward in social situations all my life. And now that I am almost bald, my anxiety levels are at an all-time high. Everytime there is a social situation that puts the spotlight on me, I can literally feel the butterflies hitting the inside of my stomach. Enough.
Now, armed with A and B, lets come to the rant.
So, today yesterday when I went to the class, apart from another regular, there was this really pretty woman. Pretty as in Bollywood pretty. In fact while conversing I learnt that she’s won some sort of beauty pageant recently and is the next big thing in Bollywood. There. Anyhow, since my work has given me many trysts with the bold and beautiful, I am not really star struck. I merely took a note of her presence and I went on with my routine. 
But since the woman was new in class and I have this super-competitive streak, I noticed that she was very good with even complex routines. The simple ones that make me sweat like a pig out in the sun, those routines were like a breeze for her. The complex ones that I can only dream about, she was fretting over those but could do those well. And she had poise, strength, focus, determination and other things that you need to succeed at Yoga. 
I am not getting personal but if someone like her, with a busy schedule and erratic timings, could be so good at yoga, I wondered why was I bad? I want to believe that I am a fast learner and I am fairly athletic. I mean I am as athletic as a fat, old man can get.

I know I am a beginner and its been just two months but I believe that I can perform well. Remember? I keep saying that God gave me social anxiety but He’s also blessed me with an innate ability to perform fairly well at any new task. In other words, I have a very steep learning curve on almost any skill.

It’s time that I use it with yoga. And perform. Lemme make a promise to myself (damn this tendency of making promises to myself).

I would take yoga and complex poses as a challenge. I would get good better awesome at it. I would not step off the treadmill unless I die. I know it would take time, patience, effort and all such things that are in short supply but I will do it. Like I said, I will not step off the treadmill.

And no, I promise I would not leave this as a dead end. I would revisit this post in a month.

Keep watching fellas.

I. Yoga.

Image Credits: Anonymous. Found here.

Ladies, gentlemen, friends, fellow countrymen and other minions of the world,

With one simple stroke, a sheer brilliant one at that, I have done the impossible. I have dislodged Nidhi Kapoors, Arvind Kejriwals, Sections 377, Tarun Tejpals and other such news hogs of the world from their usual position on the top of my mind. And replaced all those with one word. Fitness. And replaced all the thoughts with one thought only. I need to get fit. And replaced all my frivolous actions with one. Chase of personal excellence. Ok scratch that personal excellence bit.

In short, I have now joined a fancy Yoga training regime. And I have been doing it for a week. And I am loving it.

The regime includes alternate day visits to a yoga studio about 25 KMs from where I live, at 7 in the morning. At the studio, I have a personal instructor that spends anywhere between 20 minutes and one hour with me and works on my breathing, poses and peace. All of this, in attempt to make me healthy, peaceful, effective and better.

And if I could make an confession, even though its just been a week, it has been amongst the best experiences that I have had in a long long time. Its been so good that I am wondering why din’t I do this sooner. Actually, for the sooner bit, I have no one but myself to blame. I thought yoga was yet another Indian thing that the new media and collective conscious of the modern, evolved, educated world has made popular (other things include naturopathy, homeopathy, social media, Arvind Kejriwal etc). But like they say, if something has to happen, it will happen. I was nudged pushed into this amazing world of yoga and I have been enjoying it immensely.

It did not come easy to be honest. My sis had to pester me forever to go join the classes. sgMS had to consistently ignore my existence and my attempts to woo her back. A cute stranger with beautiful hair and smile had to remind me that I am fat and ugly, when I made a pass at her. My folks had to get angry and inform me of my limited and fast-dwindling supply of money. Nidhi Kapoor had to remind me that I have made no progress, no breakthrough in the story, even though I am so close to the deadline. My body had to remind me that I am not young anymore. In short, everything that I care for, except that stranger with long hair, was gaping at me and questioning my choices in life.

I did not see a way out and initially joined these classes to shut all these people up. You know how it is when you think you know better than anyone else and you do something just to stop all the noises in your head?

In terms of doing it, I do it with all seriousness that you expect from a 31 year, balding, single, almost poor man. The one that starts with pumping a mini fortune, buying ALL the equipment that you may potentially need in the next ten years that you’d do it seriously. And the one that ends next day, at all that equipment getting stowed in crevices and shelves in your house that you never knew existed. You know, I have all the paraphernalia. An expensive yoga mat, a set of clothes made by a brand that only makes and sells yoga merchandise, expensive music bought from iTunes that helps me in meditating, an acupressure chappal that is more expensive that a Nike and a routine that has made me start questioning my erstwhile choices in life. 
But now that I am doing it, I dont see myself not doing it ever. Ever. I just need to figure out if yoga can help me fix my bald head!

Warm Regards,
Saurabh “Nouveau Riche” Garg

Oh, one more thing. You may want to give it a shot. Trust me its awesome! And watch out for more posts on yoga in the next few days.