Day 30 of the lockdown.
Or this may be 31ist for all you care. Let’s carry on with whatever number. Day 36 otherwise.
Hello, blog, or whoever is reading this.
As I start writing this, it is 4:42 AM and I have just done the dishes. What an ungodly hour to do dishes. But I don’t know what else to do at this time. I am tired – physically, mentally, and emotionally. For some reason, I can’t get sleep (one reason is that the AC has conked off and the people I’ve taken it on rent from can’t fix, cos lockdown). Of course, I am trying hard to eat less and in moderation. But I am failing gloriously at that. I mean in the last 24 hours, I have had three full meals, each at least 1500 calories. How do I know? Well, after each meal, all I can do is doze off in whatever state I am at in (sitting, lying down, doing dishes, etc).
Anyhow. Now that I am on the computer. Lemme dump the thoughts in my head here.
So, the thing is, when this lockdown was announced, I had decided that I will use this break to work on the next book, get fitter and I don’t know what all. I even wrote about it in my blog here. It was supposed to be three weeks and I was supposed to follow a schedule like a mule. Which I did. For a couple of days, I think. And then it was back to how I was before the lockdown. In a Brownian Motion. Drifting. Where life takes me.
I think that’s how I am probably. Start with something that has a super large ask from me. Find a comfortable part, that is higher than the normal and almost always lower than the ask that I have identified for myself. But in effect, I end up doing more than what I would if I were a realist.
And this break was supposed to separate boys from men. And I think I am clearly in the boys’ category. Do I even need to put all those lofty goals for myself then? Something to think about!
Of course, a few good things have happened.
Here’s a list.
A. Got the iPhone fixed.
Got some number from the internet. Called the guy and even though he took almost double what it would’ve cost me on a regular day, the phone now works. And that means I can be a tad more functional.
But then, to be honest, I broke the phone on the 2nd day of the lockdown and I wasn’t really functional, or on the other end, hyper-productive when I did not have a good phone.
It’s just a peace-of-mind thing that everything I want and need and wish for from a tech device is now back in my hands. You know, things like transferring money to others on Paytm? I’d have to call friends for that cos Paytm does not work from a desktop!
B. Met a couple of friends.
B. Met a couple of friends.
They drove from Ghatkopar to here. Thing is, I was out of cash and there was no ATM in sight and I did not know how to operate. So, I asked them if they could. And voila.
More than the cash, I think I am happy that I saw them.
Actually, no! I am not happy. Rather, I am pissed and angry that I saw them. Thing is, I wanted this lockdown to be pure. You know, sacrosanct. Where I don’t meet anyone and no one meets me. Except for the delivery guys and the building security.
Plus I realized that I hate when my friends and family see the way I live. I have no guilt or shame about how I’ve designed by my life and how I live. I definitely do not give two hoots about whoever comes to my place. But then, there are friends that you want to show off to, when those people see you living in a shack, it breaks my heart. I guess I’ll never be comfortable going to (or calling people) houses, homes, pads, etc of other people. I know I am weird.
C. Since I have been working for almost a month now, at home, on a chair and table. I don’t think I am ever going back to a coworking space. Unless, of course, I get it for free. Or if someone else is paying for it.
Oh, I will have to get some office supplies (printer, paper, aircon that works, and other such things that makes it bearable to sit at a place for hours and dream).
I’d save some money. Money that would become super paramount in the times to come.
D. I finally put up this wall of post-its and paper where I would purportedly write shit about my next book. Purportedly. I am not sure. Let’s see. Also, see the point above about using the lockdown to do things.
E. The best part is that because of COVID, I think the events business will take a large hit. I wrote about it here. And as a result my pivot to the next thing that I work on, to make ends meet, will get accelerated.
No, I don’t have an idea what that next thing is. And I am chatting with people to understand what it could be. Let’s see what I close on. If you’ve read till here, you must know me well and have an interest in my success. Tell me what’s the next thing I could do?
With that, over and out! Hope you are staying safe and sane!